


Puzzle of my Heart

by Payton79



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-06
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2017-12-31 16:13:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 42
Words: 122,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1033711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Payton79/pseuds/Payton79
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bella leads a promiscuous life: no relationships, no last names, no numbers. After meeting a certain green-eyed man, she begins to break her carefully set up rules. In a steamy friendship both their pasts and insecurities will be revealed. Will Bella give in to love? And what will happen when the past catches up to her? A story about lust, love and trust. AH</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The box

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there. Thanks so much for giving this very lemony story a try.  
> I'm so excited that I finally get to publish it. The basic idea has been in my head for years, but it only started to really take form when I came across fanfiction.net and started to write my plot bunny down as a fanfic. I've been working on this for about six months now, and the story is almost completely written. At the moment, it's being betaed. I'm planning on updating once every week, as long as the betaing and my tweaking at the last minute can keep up.  
> A big thank you goes to my betas Ange de l‘aube, babykay18 and the moderators from Project Team Beta. Without them you would be reading a story almost without any commas. A special thank you goes to my friends and pre-readers VampGirl79 and Thepurplebookworm, who have been by my side and encouraged me through the whole writing process. Thank you so much, and I love you.  
> Now, I'll stop babbling and let you read. I hope you'll enjoy this story and I'll see you at the end of this chapter.
> 
> Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Twilight isn't mine but Stephanie Meyer's, but I'm glad that I'm allowed to play around with her characters.

Chapter 1 – The box

  


"Ouch!" I cursed under my breath when my foot hit something in the darkness. I was sneaking out of a stranger's apartment on my tiptoes. I didn't dare switch on the lights to find my way out, afraid I'd wake the man whose name I didn't remember and who I'd left while he was asleep in bed just a few moments ago.

He had fallen asleep as soon as he was done with his poor performance. Not only had he been bad in bed, it had also been impossible to have a halfway decent conversation with the guy. Of course, that wasn't what either of us had been after when, he'd hit on me a few hours ago at the club and, I agreed to go home with him. He had been nice and charming, really good looking, but when we were finally alone, he couldn't live up to my expectations.

"Baby, you leavin'?" a sleepy voice sounded from the bedroom.

"Shit," I murmured too quietly for him to hear. "Yes, I have an appointment early in the morning. I'm going home."

"Will I see you again?"

 _Certainly not!_ "Maybe. Just call me." I shut the door behind me and was down the hall and in the elevator before he could even notice that he didn't have my number.

I usually made sure they didn't. Over the years, I'd become a pro at covering my tracks when it came to one-night-stands, always taking certain precautions. Inormally didn't tell the men my last name, or gave them my number, unless I was sure I wanted to meet them again, which might have happened once or twice. Never ever did I take anyone back to my place. I considered it a very private thing to show someone how and where I lived. And Ialso needed the freedom to leave whenever I wanted to, which was usually right after sex.

I wasn't proud of that routine but over the years it had proven to be the most practical way to satisfy my needs.

I didn't have a new partner every week — more like once a month. I tried to avoid it until the need became too strong. I probably wasn't a slut by the standards of the general public, but I was raised to cherish love and monogamy. So I wasn't happy with my promiscuous lifestyle.

I'd had a few short-lived relationships, but after a while, I always felt suffocated when the men proposed to take it to the next level. If I thought about them retrospectively, I knew that I hadn't been in love with any of these men. I'd let neither of them come close enough for me to fall in love in the first place.

I kept telling myself that I was a modern woman, taking what I wanted without compromising my independence, but deep down, I knew I was just unable or unwilling to make a commitment.

As I stepped out of the middle-class apartment building, where I had wasted the last hour, I stopped for a moment to take a deep breath, relieved that I was free and rid of the guy, before I hailed a taxi.

After I had told the driver my address, I sat back watching Seattle pass by as peacefully as it could in the early morning hours.

At home I took a shower, washing away the unsatisfying events of the night; another part of my established routine. The hot water was running down my body, rinsing off the remainder of the stranger's touch. I cleaned myself of his saliva in the spots his lips had kissed me or his tongue had licked my skin. I didn't want anything of him to stay with me. If it were possible, I would wash my brain to erase my memories of last night.

As I was done cleansing myself, I started to take care of my own needs,the ones the good looking but quite clueless guy had totally neglected. My high-end showerhead was just the right device to do so.

When I was finally clean and my tension was relieved, I was glad to slip under the covers and close my tired eyes. I still had about five hours left before morning.

  


****POMH****

  


The piercing ring of my cellphone woke me as daylight already crept through my bedroom window.

"Hello?" I mumbled holding the phone to my ear without opening my eyes.

"Good morning sunshine," cheered the voice on the other end of the line.

"Morning, Alice. What's up?" I looked at the alarm clock on my nightstand to find that it was 9 am. How could anyone in their right mind be that good-humored so early on a Sunday morning?

"Bella, I wanted to make sure you got home okay and was curious if Mr. Hotlips kept what his looks promised."

Alice's wild days had been over since she finally got together with Jasper. Before that, we used to go out together all the time, and Alice usually didn't go home alone. Compared to her, I had seemed like a paragon of chastity at the time. She didn't really miss those days but, sometimes she liked to feed off my adventures.

"Let me put it this way, I think we left the club at around two and I was home by three. He was boring and fell asleep immediately after. You could say I was left high and dry. And his place was a mess. Disgusting."

"That's a drag. He really looked hot." Alice sighed theatrically.

"Yeah, but that's not the point." I had to learn the hard way that looks were no indication for a guy's skills in bed.

"Well, you're right." She sighed again before she changed the subject. "Listen, I'm actually calling to remind you about the party we're having at our place next Saturday. You said something last night about having to reschedule dinner with your Dad."

I had already forgotten about that. I hadn't been to Forks in more than two months.

Charlie, my dad, and I had been really close as I grew up and I really liked his girlfriend, Sue. But their constant questioning about whether or not I had finally met someone special was getting on my nerves. They didn't know what had happened to me that had left me incapable of having a real relationship.

"Oh, the dinner. I had totally forgotten about that. Well, there's no special occasion or anything. I'll just drive over to see them today and make some excuse why I can't come next week."

"Okay then, I'll talk to you later. Bye."

"Bye, Alice."

Putting the phone on the nightstand, I rolled onto my back, growling in frustration about the early wake-up call. After a few minutes of staring at the ceiling, I decided to get up.

I ate a quick breakfast of milk and cereal, then got dressed and got in my car for the three-hour drive to Forks. Having talked to Sue on the phone earlier this week, I knew they would be spending Sunday at home.

"Hey, Bells. What a nice surprise. Is something wrong? I didn't think we'd see you before next weekend." Charlie looked worried as he greeted me with a hug.

"Hey, Dad. No, everything's alright. But something came up and I won't be able to make it next Saturday. So I thought I'd just visit you today instead."

He stepped aside and I entered the little two-bedroom house I'd grown up in. Charlie was the chief of police in this small hole-in-the-wall town. My parents had bought the house right after they got married and Charlie didn't want to sell it after the divorce.

As we passed the hall to reach the living room, Sue Clearwater, Charlie's girlfriend came out of the kitchen, greeting me with a smile.

"Hello, Bella. Nice to see you. How are you?" she asked as she hugged me heartily.

Dad and Sue had been together for about twenty years now. I was glad he had met her soon after Renée, my mother, had left us. But they never got married. As a teenager I always wondered why. Now that I was an adult and had gained some perspective myself, I was sure that Charlie had been hurt too deeply by Renée to ever give another marriage a try.

"Hi. I'm fine. I just thought I'd come over — “

"She found something better to do next Saturday than to have dinner with her old man," Charlie interrupted me. But I was glad to see that he was smiling instead of being mad at me for canceling.

"Oh that's too bad. Well, never mind. You're here today. Actually, now that you're here, I cleaned out the attic the other day and I found some of your old stuff. Maybe you'd like to take a look at it and decide if you want to throw it away or keep it. It's in your room. Lunch will be ready in half an hour."

I went upstairs and as usual, I felt strange on the way to my old bedroom. I hadn't been in there in- about ten months. Since I had finally moved out for good six years ago I had avoided that room as much as possible, only staying overnight on the holidays. I felt uncomfortable every minute I spent in there.

Opening the door, I immediately saw that nothing had changed since I'd left. Sue cleaned the room regularly and though the house was small and they could actually use every square foot available, they had never redecorated it or used it for anything. They insisted that it was my room and would stay like that until I had a family of my own. They weren't aware that we were probably talking decades if not forever.

On the bed sat a box I recognized as soon as I laid eyes on it. After my initial shock, I approached it very carefully as if it were a bomb ready to explode at the lightest touch. When I reached the bed, I sat down on the edge of the mattress, staring at the box of memories for a good while. It was a square, brown box, one foot wide, high and deep, with a green lid.

Most of the boxes I had stored up in the attic were labeled, hinting at their contents. But not this one. In wide black letters, Sue had written my name on it. Even though there was nothing more on the outside of the box, I knew immediately, without having to guess for a second, what was in it. I could have named every single item, described each one meticulously.

Before even lifting the lid, I could smell the scent of its contents around me, stirring feelings in me of pain, despair and loss. I placed my hand palm down on the box to make contact with it for a while before I dared to lift the lid. It was as if I was afraid that something would jump out and attack if I moved too fast.

The first thing that caught my eye, lying on top of everything else, was a white teddy bear with a big red bow around its neck. Jacob had won it for me at the fair we had gone to with Alice and Jasper. He'd had to try several times before he finally won something he considered good enough for me. I took the stuffed animal out of the box raising it to my nose. Eight years later it still had that distinctive fair smell.

The next item that became visible was a little snow globe with a miniature Statue of Liberty inside. A gift to remind me of the city I had always dreamed about working in but had sworn to never set foot in again. Carefully, I took it in my hands and shook it, making the snow fall around New York's most famous landmark.

Then there was a black jersey dress with a zipper on the back that had never been completely zipped up. I had never worn it, only put it on once for a few minutes before … No, I couldn't think about that now. It hurt too damn much.

Next there was a ticket to a concert in Seattle dated July 21st2004.

As I put that away, I saw three photographs that had been hidden underneath. From the first one, a portrait, a pair of brown eyes, set in a beautiful russet-skinned face and framed by thick black hair, were smiling at me. Before the lump in my throat could grow even bigger, I quickly put it away.

The next picture showed Jasper, Alice, Jacob and me making funny faces. I remembered that the picture was taken two days before the guys had to leave. Alice and Jake wanted something to remember the week we had together. So we set Alice's camera up in our backyard, put it on automatic release, and posed for a series of more or less stupid pictures. I could almost hear the laughter that was in the air that day. Back then it had felt as if we didn't have a care in the world. The last picture I had kept was one of Jacob carrying me piggyback, running across the sand at First Beach.

As I laid out everything on top of my bedspread, tears began to sting my eyes, desperate to be shed. I tried to fight them back as long as possible, struggling to be stronger than the overwhelming memories that had been released. But I lost the fight as a quiet sob escaped my throat and when I closed my eyes the tears started to flow.

I cried silently for some time, letting the memories crush me for the first time in a long while.

When I finally pulled myself together again, I put everything back into the box and placed the lid back on top. Wiping away the last oftears that had escaped my eyes, shed not for a guy, but for a girl that had lost all faith in love, I safely stored all memories of Jacob Black away before I went outside to the trash, so I could get rid of the box of pain.

  


****POMH****

  


During the whole three hour drive back to Seattle I tried to forget about that damn box. It had been months since I'd even thought of Jacob.

After we'd parted ways, I'd locked myself up in our apartment, unwilling and unable to interact with anyone but Alice. Jake had managed to destroy all the faith I had in people.

No one other than Alice and Jasper knew what had happened between him and me. But everyone knew that we'd had some kind of fight and were no longer speaking. Even Charlie, who was the least perceptive person on earth, understood that it was better to never mention Jake's name in my presence again.

It had taken me half a year before I agreed to go dancing with Alice for the first time. From the outside, I'd seemed to be back to normal but on the inside my wounds had been far from healed. In the months I had spent at home, I'd made up my mind to never again give a man the chance to hurt me like that, to never trust a man again.

But life completely without men didn't work. There were needs, physical as well as emotional, that needed to be taken care of. Since I was unwilling or unable to have a relationship and open myself up to someone who would probably hurt me again, I started to hook up with guys, always for only one night.

Over the years I had sex with many men. After a few years, I'd even made some attempts at having a relationship, but I didn't let a guy get emotionally close to me again.

I had enjoyed my afternoon with Charlie and Sue, but since that summer, I hadn't been able to stay in Forks longer than a night or two. However, every few months it was nice to go home for a few hours, and listen to Charlie and Sue spilling the recent gossip or to just watch the two of them living a happy life together. Deep down inside, I longed to have what they had but I felt like I was too messed up to ever accomplish it.

When I drove into my building's underground parking garage, I had banned every sad memory from my mind again, determined to live in the present rather than the past.

  


********POMH********


	2. Unforeseen Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Glad that you're back for chapter 2. Thanks to all of you, who have favorited this story or put it on alert and thanks for the reviews. I was overwhelmed with the reaction I got. Unfortunately, I couldn't reply to the guest reviews. I'm sorry about that.Thank you all so much.  
> So, I'm not going to keep you for long before you can start reading. I just want to say my thank yous to my betas TDS88 and EdwardsMate4ever and the moderators from Project Team Beta as well as to my friends and pre-readers VampGirl79 and Thepurplebookworm.  
> Now, enjoy chapter 2. See you at the end.
> 
> Disclaimer: It will not come as a surprise to you that I don't own Twilight. But I love Stephenie Meyer for creating these wonderful characters that I enjoy playing around with.

Chapter 2 – Unforeseen encounter

 

My week went by slowly. Being a self-employed photographer, I had busy periods as well as times when business was slow.

After college, I had started out making a living mostly by photographing weddings and other events. I'd made enough money to pay the bills, but business really picked up when, three years ago, Jasper decided to move to Seattle to finally be with Alice, after a four year on-again off-again long distance relationship. He had been offered an important position in an advertising agency there, and because he liked my work, I was freelancing for his firm nowadays.

Currently, there were only some comp card shootings for a modeling agency I used to work with.

So, when Saturday came, I was excited to go to the party at Alice and Jasper's house.

“We're hosting this to introduce Jazz's new co-worker to some people. He's just moved here from Chicago, and he doesn't know anyone yet. But he and Jazz have been friends since high school,” Alice reminded me when she led me to their spacious living room.

There were about forty people in the room. I knew most of them, considering that they were either friends of Jasper and Alice's or worked with Jasper at the agency.

Most of the furniture had been pushed out of the way and hidden behind the stairway in the back of the room to clear enough space to serve as a dance floor. Along one of the walls, Alice had set up a bar which was operated by a professional bartender. As usual, everything was thoughtfully decorated with indirect lighting, sparkling lights, and drapes throughout the room, covering the walls. Party planning had always been one of Alice's hobbies.

I headed straight to the bar after Alice left me to check on the snacks in the kitchen. “A martini, please,” I said when the bartender looked at me to take my order. He smiled and turned away to fix my drink.

Once again, I marveled over Alice's wonderful decorations, when someone approached me from my left.

“Hey, Bella. How come a beautiful woman like you is alone on a Saturday night?” I squeezed my eyes shut at the lame line he tried to feed me. I vaguely knew the guy from the agency. I'd never had a normal conversation with him. Whenever he spoke to me, he was hitting on me, which happened pretty much every time I met him. And when he was not getting on my nerves like that, I always caught him undressing me with his eyes. I was dressed in black skinny jeans, black stilettos and a tight, sparkling black tank top. It was sexy but not too revealing.

“James, if you take a look around, you'll see that I'm not alone at all. There's at least thirty people in this room.” I tried to smile at him without encouraging him to further engage me in some boring conversation.

“There's only one person I'm interested in, and she's standing right in front of me.”

When he winked at me, I wanted to throw up. His hair was slicked back with gel, his face clean-shaven and his skin was unnaturally tan. He was tacky and creepy. The fact that he was the only guy in the room wearing a tie added to his overall sleazy appearance. As his eyes were wandering up and down my body, nothing short of eye-fucking me, I had to suppress a shudder.

Finally, the bartender came back, setting my drink in front of me, so that I could end this uncomfortable conversation.

“Thank you,” I said as I turned to scan the surroundings for someone to escape to. A smile spread across my face when I spotted Jasper's assistant. “Hi, Kate,” I shouted, as I waved hello to her across the room. “Excuse me, there's someone I need to talk to.” I took my leave as I hurried away.

 

****POMH****

 

I spent the next two hours struggling to escape James. Every time I went to talk to someone, eat something, or dance, a few moments later he magically appeared in close proximity. When he finally started grinding up on me, I rushed away to the bathroom.

After staying there a few minutes, I made sure the coast was clear and ran over to hide behind the staircase to watch the scene in the living room from there. For the moment, James seemed to have found another unfortunate victim.

“I thought I was the only one who would need the sanctuary of this convenient little hide-out. But you're welcome to join me,” said a velvety voice behind me. This corner of the room was unlit and quite dark, so I hadn't noticed that someone was here.

I turned around to find my gaze captured by the most beautiful, shining pair of green eyes I'd ever seen, as the stranger stepped toward the light. The lopsided smile the tall, handsome man flashed me almost took my breath away. His bronze hair was disheveled, which only added to his charm. He was wearing dark blue jeans and a white button-down shirt with short sleeves that allowed me a peek at his perfectly toned biceps.

“Uhm, some sleazeball has been close on my heels all night, and I needed to get away from him.” It was kind of hard to speak a coherent sentence while he was looking at me with those beautiful eyes.

He came closer to me to look into the room, where the other guests were dancing, drinking and talking.

“Which one is it?” he asked, intrigued.

“That man with the tie, over there by the bar.” I pointed my finger in the direction.

“Oh, James Hunter. Well, I can see why you wouldn't want to spend your time with him.” He laughed humorlessly.

I was surprised the stranger knew tie-guy's name. “You know him?” I asked, raising my brows.

“Yes. Unfortunately, I have to work with him.” He pressed his lips together tightly in what seemed like frustration before the smile reappeared. The sight made my insides melt.

“So, you work with Jasper?” Now I was confused. I thought I knew most of the people from the agency, but obviously, I was wrong.

“Yes, I do. I have to apologize for not introducing myself properly. I'm Edward Cullen.” He extended his hand, waiting for me to shake it. His name actually rang a bell.

“Uh you're the new acquisition from Chicago. Nice to meet you. I'm Bella Swan,” I said as I reached out to shake his elegant, long-fingered hand. The touch of his skin felt incredibly good.

“Then you're Alice's best friend, the photographer. And I think we'll be working together, too.” He seemed delighted at that thought. Actually, so was I.

“Yeah, we probably will. But why are you hiding out here? You're like the guest of honor tonight.”

He chuckled briefly before he answered my question. “For the same reason you are.” He let go of my hand he had still been holding and placed it lightly on the small of my back, to turn me in the direction of the dance floor. His closeness sent jolts of excitement up and down my spine. Then he pointed his finger at an all tarted-up girl in her mid-twenties. “Barbie there has been hitting on me for over an hour. And to phrase it nicely, she's not really my type intellectually.”

I knew what he was talking about. Jessica was an intern at the agency and everything that came out of her mouth usually sounded stupid and childish.

“You should pray that she won't be assigned to you. She's an intern. It must be a coincidence that you haven't met her officially yet.”

He looked annoyed before he sighed and the smile returned yet again. “I'll talk to Jasper. After all, I've known him since forever, and he still owes me for a lot of things.”

That was right; he was a friend of Jasper's. “So, as long as we seem to be stuck here, why don't you tell me how you know Jasper?” I suggested as we sat down on one of the sofas that were stored in our corner. Although it was very wide, he sat down quite close to me, which inexplicably made my stomach flutter.

“Jasper and I go way back. In high school, back in Chicago, I dated his sister Rosalie for a while before she dumped me for my brother Emmett.” He grinned, a little embarrassed. “The two of them are married by now and we all stayed friends.” I laughed lightly about the nice story. “And you? How do you know Alice?”

“We've known each other since kindergarten. We both grew up in Forks, a sleepy little town about three hours from here. We've been friends ever since.”

A noise from the living room caught my attention and made me break our eye contact. But there wasn't anything to see.

“So, what do you think? How long will we have to bide our time here?” I asked as I turned back to look at him again. His beautiful face stunned me each time I laid eyes on him.

“I don't care. I'm in no hurry to leave. The company is much better in here than it is out there.” His smile was inviting, and I immediately forgot everything outside of our little hide-away. “The only downside is that I had to leave my drink at the bar and now I'm unable to retrieve it.”

“Huh,” I beamed. “I can help with that. This house is almost like home to me, and I know where Alice and Jazz stash their booze. Just stay where you are.”

I went out and came back a minute later with a bottle and two tumblers. “Voila. I hope you like whiskey. I couldn't find anything else without heading down to the basement.” He took one of the glasses out of my hands and I filled both before I sat down, putting the bottle on the floor.

“What shall we drink to?” he asked, raising his brows expectantly.

“Why don't we drink to new beginnings,” I suggested.

“I'm certainly hoping for some things to begin, maybe already tonight,” he said meaningfully as he clinked his glass to mine. “To new beginnings.”

We talked for what felt like hours. It was unbelievably easy to talk to Edward, just like we had known each other for years. I learned a lot about him. He was single, thirty years old — two years older than me — born in Chicago and very close to his parents and brother. Moving to Seattle had not been an easy decision for him, but it was a big promotion that had brought him here. I felt that there was more to it, but I didn't press him to tell me. Anyway, he was happy to be able to spend time with Jasper again, and hoped that he would soon feel at home in Washington.

I didn't miss the way he was flirting with me when he asked me about my family, my job and my relationship status.

We had finished half of the bottle when I caught a movement in my peripheral vision and, all of a sudden, Edward's lips were pressed to mine. I was stunned and a warm shiver ran through my whole body. After a second, he parted his lips and took my lower lip between both of his. Although I didn't know what had brought on this sudden attack, I gladly played along, moving my mouth with his. He felt warm and soft and his wonderful scent, cologne mixed with his natural musk, made my head spin. Before I could make up my mind whether to give in to my impulse to add my tongue or not, he suddenly pulled away.

I shot him a disappointed look, secretly longing for more.

“Sorry about that, but James was passing by and I had to improvise to keep you hidden from him.” He smirked at my obvious puzzlement.

“I wasn't going to complain. In fact, I wouldn't mind if he'd pass by again.” I bit my bottom lip, ashamed of my blatant invitation. The mere presence of this man made me dizzy.

He chuckled lightly before he slowly moved his face closer to mine. “So, you don't mind me doing this?” he whispered as he touched his lips to mine, this time more cautiously than before.

“Uh-uh,” I answered, shaking my head infinitesimally, unwilling to part from him.

This time he opened his mouth further, and his tongue first trailed along my bottom lip, before it slowly entered my expectant mouth, nudging my own tongue invitingly. I responded willingly, caressing his tongue with mine. He tasted like whiskey and pure sex. Never before had I felt this excited, just kissing a man. Usually kissing was only a gateway to sex, and I didn't particularly enjoy it. But right now, I was reveling in the way our passionate tongues and lips were moving together, and I would have been happy to stay like this forever. Something about Edward was different from any man I'd ever met before.

What started out a little teasingly became gradually more urgent. A short time later, we were engaged in a full-blown make out session. My fingers were tangled in his soft, perfect hair. His hands were all over my body. We had shifted our positions until I was lying on my back with Edward on top of me. His warm weight made me want nothing more than to feel his skin on mine.

His right hand cupped my cloth-covered breast, stroking my nipple with his fingers, making me moan out with pleasure. I could feel his erection against my thigh when his lips let go of mine and started to caress my neck.

“You make me crazy. We have to stop this before people notice,” he breathed against my ear while his teeth gently bit my lobe.

“Or we could take this somewhere more private, if you'd like.” I almost groaned as another shudder of arousal shook me. My panties were soaking wet as my core was aching for the man I'd just met to fulfill my need. Although I mostly slept with strangers, it was always only about getting laid. I had never wanted a particular man as desperately as I wanted Edward right now.

“Where?” was all he choked out while he was grinding his hardness against me.

“The guest room,” I whispered before his mouth captured mine again, sucking my upper lip into his. Then he let go of me and, grabbing his hand firmly, we rushed up the stairs toward the bed that awaited us.

 

********POMH********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again. So, how did you like Edward's first appearance? I'd really love to be in Bella's place, here. I hope I'm keeping you interested in what's going to happen next. Here's a little teaser for chapter 3.
> 
> ...Pictures of last night flashed up in my mind. Images of me and Edward making out heavily on the sofa, his glorious body on top of mine, his hard member inside me. Memories of that forceful last orgasm made me shudder...
> 
> So, anyone interested in chapter 3? It seems like it's getting hot. See you next Tuesday.


	3. Desire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again. Is anyone still reading this story? Well, if you're still there, I'm sure you're eager to read the first lemon now, because that's what this chapter really is about. Thanks to all of you for reviewing, adding POMH to your favorites and alerts. It really means a lot to me.  
> Before I let you read chapter 3 now, I want to send a quick thank you to my wonderful betas, itsange and Angela LuvsFanfic from Project Team Beta and to my dear pre-readers, VampGirl79 and Thepurplebookworm. Without all of you this chapter would have turned out very differently.  
> Now I won't keep you any longer. Enjoy the citrus.
> 
> Disclaimer: How matter how much I love it, Twilight's not mine but SM's. Thanks for giving us something to dream about.

Chapter 3 – Desire

 

As soon as I had locked the door behind us, I turned around to find Edward eying me hungrily, and immediately, his body pinned mine to the door. His hands were grabbing at the hem of my top to pull it over my head in one swift motion, before his ravenous mouth captured mine again, our tongues swirling around in a passionate dance.

I was overcome by the need to feel his skin on mine now. Blindly, my fingers started to fumble with his shirt buttons. Too impatient to wait for me to undo them, he pulled the shirt over his head and let it drop to the floor. For a moment, I pushed him away, just far enough to get a good view at his perfectly sculpted chest and abs. His muscles were defined but not too prominent under his smooth, pale skin. After tearing my eyes away, I grabbed his hair, pulling his lips to mine again.

Edward's hands traveled over my back, and with a slight movement of his fingers, he unhooked my bra. I let the straps slide down my arms and let it fall on top of his shirt. My eyes were fixed on his face, and I noticed his eyes grow even darker with need, as they took in my bare breasts.

“You're so beautiful,” he whispered. His words and the look on his face sent a hot shudder of desire through my body before he buried his face in the crook of my neck, licking and nibbling the skin there. His hands lightly brushed my hard nipples as they moved down from my shoulders to my hips. He took a firm grip of my ass, and then he grabbed my thighs, lifting me up and wrapping my legs around his waist. I reveled in the feeling of his warm skin against mine as he carried me over to the bed.

After setting me down in the middle, he unbuckled my belt, opened my jeans and yanked them down forcefully, right before he proceeded with pulling my panties down. All the while, I was watching his bare torso, enraptured by the flexing of his muscles. His lips returned to mine again as soon as he had stripped me of my last remaining piece of clothing.

Without looking, my hands were fidgeting with his pants, in desperate need to remove all fabric separating us, as our tongues were savoring one another.

“Shit,” I cursed into his mouth, frustrated because his pants wouldn't come off. I could feel him smile as he took over the job. Without parting from my lips for a second, he climbed out of the offending garment.

When he was done, his hands moved to my breasts, cupping them gently. His mouth joined them as his teeth lightly bit my left nipple. I moaned rapturously, my back arching against him, as he started to suck it hard.

The muscles in my loins were twitching with anticipation. His noisy breathing, while he was working my pebbled peak, was a real turn-on.

After one last bite, he moved over to the other side, repeating his ministrations. My core was aching with need as his hand stroked down my stomach until he ran a finger through my folds.

“Ah,” I moaned, hearing him chuckle in response.

“Oh my God, Bella, you're so wet.” He left my boobs and his hands pushed my knees apart. Now that my sex was on open display, he smiled to himself before he swept my cleft with his fervent tongue. I shut my eyes immediately, overwhelmed by the intense sensation.

“Hmm,” he hummed, and I felt myself melting under his touch. His thumbs split my folds to grant him better access to my most sensitive spot. He let his eager tongue dance around, up and down and circling around, making me lose all sense of time and place.

Somehow, totally unlike me, and without making a conscious decision, I relinquished all control and let Edward have his way with me. With my hands tugging at his hair, I surrendered myself to his skillful caresses. The skin all over my body was prickling as waves of pleasure ran up and down my spine. It didn't take long until the pressure building up inside me erupted in loud, breathless moans while every muscle in me seemed to contract and heat washed over all my senses.

He licked his way back up to my lips, and at the same time, removed his boxer briefs while I slowly recovered from my climax. Finally, I had him the way I'd wanted him all along, naked and on top of me. I could taste and smell myself on his breath, lips and tongue. Whenever that had happened before, I was grossed out, but somehow, right here and with Edward, it felt intimate and even heightened my arousal.

Without looking at what he was doing, he grabbed for his pants, coming back with a condom and, after breaking away from my lips, he instantly opened the wrapper. Biting my lip in anticipation, I took the rubber out of the pack, and after throwing an admiring glance—he was very well endowed—I put it on him.

“I want you,” I murmured when I looked back into his eyes, gripping his hair with my hands again.

“How much?” He grinned wickedly, as he rubbed his latex covered member at my peak.

“Very much!” I whimpered because of the way his closeness caused my entrance to throb.

It was a delightful relief when he finally thrust his length into my aching center. He halted for a moment, giving me the chance to cherish the strange sense of fulfillment I felt, now that he was inside me. A feeling I hadn't ever experienced before.

Then he started to move inside me, every thrust striking a chord that I hadn't known to be there. He was hovering over me, his weight on his elbows, his lips on my neck, kissing, licking and biting. His chest lightly rubbed over my breasts, our skins covered by a sheen of sweat.

Although physically we were as close as two people could be, I still felt the need for him to be closer, deeper inside me. He seemed to pick up on my longing because, after a minute, he put his arm under the hollow of my knee, bringing my leg close to my chest and allowing him to enter me even deeper. The new sensation made me ecstatic. As he went on driving himself into me faster and harder, my fingers frantically clawed at his back, holding on for dear life. Each thrust brought me closer to the edge that I felt was only inches away.

I panted uncontrollably as I almost reached the peak of pleasure.

“Oh, yeah, Bella, come for me,” he incited me, as he let his warm, delicious breath wash over my face. Seconds later, I felt a previously unknown high which made me scream out loud.

While I was still partly unaware of my surroundings, only Edward filling my every sense, I registered his breath accelerating, and with a deep “Oh, yes, fuck, yes,” he came, before he collapsed on top of me.

Partly recovered, he kissed my lips again, passionately but less demanding than he had only minutes ago. Then he rolled off of me to lie flat on his back, disposing of the condom, before he pulled me close to his chest.

“That was not what I expected when I came here tonight.” His breath was still slightly ragged.

“Me, neither,” I answered truthfully.

“I think Seattle's growing on me,” he chuckled, his hands starting to toy with my hair.

“Despite the weather, it can be quite hot here, don't you think?” I raised my head a little to look at his face.

He smiled as he answered, “One particular Seattleite certainly is.”

We were quiet for a while as he twisted a strand of my long, dark-brown hair around his index finger, while my hands toyed with the hair on his chest. Strangely, my usual flight instinct didn't kick in. In fact, I was quite unwilling to move at all.

Edward sighed sadly before he finally stated, “I think it's past two in the morning. I guess we should leave soon.”

“We don't have to.” I paused, biting my lip for a second, before I dared to continue. “This is practically my room and Alice invited me to stay tonight. You know, the bed is big enough. I'd be willing to share.” I gazed up at Edward expectantly. Had I really just invited him to stay the night? I had never done that before, nor did I usually stay at a man's place overnight. I had always felt uncomfortable sleeping in the same bed with a man. Even in my three so-called relationships I had always been restless and felt awkward when I had shared a bed for a night.

Right now, there was nothing awkward about the situation. The only thing I was afraid of was that he might prefer to leave.

“Well, I admit that I'm pretty comfortable where I am, and I doubt that I'm able to drive home after the amount of whiskey I had. So, if you don't mind, I'll take you up on your offer.”

I dropped my eyes from his face to his chest and tried to hide a smile as I said, “I don't mind.”

One of Edward's hands stroked up and down my spine, while the other went on playing with my hair. I was engulfed in his wonderful scent as I slowly drifted off to a restorative sleep.

 

****POMH****

 

When my mind gradually drifted from sleep to wakefulness, I felt unnaturally warm. It took me a minute to realize, that I was lying with my back to Edward who, his arms around me, was holding me close to him. I couldn't believe that we had been sleeping like that the whole night.

Pictures of last night flashed up in my mind. Images of me and Edward making out heavily on the sofa, his glorious body on top of mine, his hard member inside me. Memories of that forceful last orgasm made me shudder.

Although it felt unbelievably good to wake up this way, I couldn't keep my head from reminding me that I wasn't comfortable letting a man be that close. I was torn between feeling snug in a way that was absolutely foreign to me and my familiar fear of being hurt again.

Fear outweighed the feeling of contentment, so I carefully wiggled my way out of Edward's arms and decided to go to the en-suite bathroom. Looking into the mirror, I saw that my face was still flushed with excitement while my hair was a mess. There was nothing I could do about it bedsides taking a shower.

The warm water running down my body felt nice. But no matter how warm and comfy it was, as it caressed my skin, it didn't feel as good as Edward's arms around me.

I gasped with shock when the curtain was suddenly pulled back and a naked, sleepy, yet incredibly sexy Edward stood in front of me.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he yawned as a greeting, while he ran one hand through his wild hair.

“Sorry, I didn't want to wake you.” Again, I marveled at how perfect he was.

“You didn't, or, yes, you did, too. The bed was suddenly cold and empty.” While he spoke, he let his eyes roam my wet body.

His words as well as his gaze resurrected the butterflies in my stomach.

“Sorry,” I said as I took a good look at the beautiful, naked man and noticed that his growing erection betrayed his approval of what he was seeing in front of him. My heart began to race with sudden desire. “Did you want to take a shower, too? I think there's room enough for the two of us.”

He smiled his lopsided smile and joined me under the hot water. He wrapped his arms around my waist immediately and pulled me close, while he touched his lips to mine.

This was another first for me. Usually I didn't share the bathroom with anyone but, weird as that was, I didn't mind right now.

As I felt his rock hard member pressed against my stomach, I acted on an impulse when I went down on my knees, wrapped my fingers around his hard-on and took him in my mouth. Edward started to breathe audibly when my tongue began to massage him. Placing his hands on my head, he moaned as I took him in as deeply as possible. His hands grabbed my hair, while I was moving my head back and forth.

“Oh, yes, baby, that's good. Just like that.” His words spurred me to move faster and take him in a little deeper.

Of course, I had given head before, but never had I taken the initiative. Until today, I'd never liked satisfying a man orally. But I was really aroused by the mere thought of tasting Edward. And he was delicious. My tongue swirled around, paying special attention to his tip, savoring the feeling of his manhood in my mouth.

It didn't take long until he panted hoarsely and tried to pull my head back. But I held my ground. Now that I wanted to do this with him, I wanted to do it right and all the way.

“Oh fuck, Bella, yeeeees.”

I swallowed the salty liquid that flooded my mouth in three strong spurts without batting an eye, feeling strangely elated, knowing that I satisfied him.

He put his hand under my chin and made me get up to stand in front of him. A second later, his tongue was in my mouth and, during a passionate kiss, he backed me into the corner of the shower. His hand gripped my thigh, lifted my left leg and placed my foot on the edge of the bathtub so that my legs were spread.

A second later he was on his knees.

“It's my turn now,” he said, his voice hoarse with lust, before he attacked my peak with his mouth.

“Ohhh,” I moaned as Edward's caress instantaneously made my head spin. Every nerve in my body seemed to be on edge, responding to his unique touch. A few moments later, he first slid one then two fingers inside me, making me shudder with pleasure. As he forcefully drove them in and out and back in again, he alternately sucked my nub and rubbed his rough tongue over it. The tension inside me built up fast and, only moments later, I was seeing fireworks behind my closed lids, and my knees gave out in a mind-blowing orgasm.

I was panting uncontrollably when Edward's strong arms caught me. “Woah, careful, Bella. You could get hurt.” I looked at an incredibly gorgeous, smug smile as I opened my eyes. He held me close to him while I slowly regained my strength.

We washed each other playfully, covering the other one in foam and rinsing it off again, before we left the shower and reluctantly got dressed. When we were both wearing last night's clothes, we unlocked the door and began the walk of shame, trying to sneak out of our friend's house.

To my dismay, we had to pass the kitchen where Alice and Jasper were just having breakfast. I halted in the doorway as Alice spotted me.

“So, there you are. Last night you were gone all of a sudden. I figured you were upstairs, but I didn't dare to check in case I could wake you,” Alice scolded.

That second, Edward, who had been following me and hadn't noticed I had stopped, bumped into me. Both our friends raised their eyebrows in astonishment, then looked at each other before their gazes returned to us.

“So, Bella, it seems you've met Edward after all. I guess I don't have to introduce you, then. I hope you had fun last night,” Jasper greeted us suggestively.

“Morning, Jazz, Alice. Well, I had too much to drink, and Bella suggested that I could stay in the guest room with her,” Edward tried to explain our presence. Gentlemen don't kiss and tell.

“However, sit down and have breakfast with us,” Jasper said, as he rose to set up two more places at the table.

We had a nice meal spiked with lots of sexual innuendos by Alice and Jasper. As we were done, we said our goodbyes, left the house and walked to our cars that were conveniently parked next to each other.

“So, I had a lot of fun last night—and this morning,” Edward said, smiling at me.

“Yes, me too.” This here might finally be the awkward part.

“Uhm, I would really like to see you again,” he stated, looking hopeful.

Normally, I avoided sleeping with men I previously knew, or who were coworkers even, to make sure I could walk away without having to deal with them later. Considering that Edward was a friend of Jasper's _and_ a coworker, it had been clear right from the start that we would inevitably have to meet again. Although this was kind of breaking my own rules, I couldn't bring myself to regret a minute of our time together.

“You most certainly will. I think we'll be working together quite a lot.” I didn't know how to handle this. I wanted to see him again, like last night, the sooner the better. But the reasonable part of my brain acted up, saying I had to keep my safe distance from the man.

“You know that's not what I mean,” he raised his brow just like his voice at the end of the sentence, making it sound like a question. His eyes were slowly filling with disappointment.

“Yeah, I know. I'd like to repeat last night, too.” Then, without thinking about it twice, I broke another one of my rules. “Here's my number. Give me a call.” With that I held my business card out to him, with my home as well as my cellphone number on it. “But I'm quite sure we'll meet at the agency next week, anyway.”

It was totally unexpected when he suddenly pulled me close to him, giving me another deep kiss, before he broke away, grabbed my card out of my hand and turned to walk to the driver's side of his Volvo.

“Bye, beautiful. See you soon.” He stepped inside the car and sped off a moment later.

I stood there at my Prius, baffled and absolutely clueless as to what had possessed me over the last twelve hours.

 

********POMH********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what's your opinion? Those two definitely have some chemistry, don't you think? I have to admit that I'd do Edward myself if I could ;). So, what's next week?
> 
> ...“She wanted to know if you were any good.” As soon as it was out, I wanted to take it back.  
> He swallowed before he nonchalantly asked, “Well, was I?”...
> 
> Really embarrassing, isn't it? What might Bella say to that? Well, I guess we'll see next week. Please, tell me what you think or just leave some love. CU


	4. Friends with benefits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ladies (and maybe some gentlemen, too). I'm glad you're back for chapter 4. Thanks to everyone for reviewing, following, and putting POMH on your list of favorites. Every time my phone shows me a new message from FF it makes me smile.   
> After the steaminess in chapter 3, this one is going to be a bit slower. But there's still a lot of Edward in it and I think that's what we all want to read.  
> I want to thank my pre-readers Thepurplebookworm and VampGirl79 as well as my betas EdwardsMate4ever and itlnbrt from Project Team Beta without whom you'd probably be running away from this story mid-chapter. They made it so much better.  
> I hope you'll enjoy reading. See you at the end.
> 
> Disclaimer: Twilight's not mine but SM's. I just love to have her characters do my bidding.

Chapter 4 – Friends with benefits

 

The moment I opened the door to my apartment, coming back from the overnight stay at Alice and Jasper's, I noticed that there were already five messages on my answering machine. I didn't need to listen to them to know who they were from or what they were about.

A second later, the phone rang again, and without looking at the display to see the caller's name, I answered. “Hi, Alice.”

She didn't say hello or give any preamble. The only thing she said was, “Spill!”

I played dumb. “Spill what?”

“Isabella Marie Swan, I want to hear every detail about what happened between you and Edward last night.” Curiosity was getting the best of her.

“It was all very innocent” — in the beginning, that is — “James was chasing me and Jessica was hitting on Edward. We both hid out in the corner behind the stairwell, and we talked for hours.” None of that was a lie — so far.

“And how did the two of you end up in the same bed?” Alice sounded impatient.

“We had a few drinks, and when James walked by, Edward kissed me. You know, to hide me from James.”

“My ass! Tell the truth, Bella.”

“That _is_ the truth. At least, that's what Edward said. Whatever, we made out” — heavily — “and before we would attract people's attention, I suggested we move to the guest room.”

“Bella, dear, this is worse than pulling teeth. Was it good?”

I shuddered in pleasure at the mere thought of last night. “Yes, pretty much so.”

The experience with Edward really didn't compare to anything I'd ever done before. It was the first time I had an orgasm during sex without any additional stimulation, manual or otherwise. He was the only one who had ever achieved that. Somehow we just fit. It felt like he knew how to make my body sing.

“How come he stayed over?” Alice knew very well that I didn't do sleepovers.

“I offered him half of the bed.” I said sheepishly.

“You _offered_? Bella, what happened?” She sounded flabbergasted.

I shrugged my shoulders, not even sure myself why I wanted him to stay. “Alice, I don't know. It just seemed right.” I paused a second, deliberating whether I should go on or not. Then I thought, what the heck? She knew me better than anyone else. “And it was … nice.”

I didn't need to see my best friend to know that she was grinning from ear to ear on the other end of the line. “Did you sleep at all? And what was it like this morning? Will you see him again?”

“Yes, we did sleep, quite well, by the way. This morning we took a shower and then had breakfast with the two of you. No, it wasn't awkward, if that's what you're asking.” I stopped because I didn't really know how to answer her last question.

She wouldn't let it go, though. “And, _will_ you see him again?”

“We will be working together quite closely, I think. But I know that's not what you mean. He said he wanted to do this again, and I gave him my card.”

“Wow, that's a first. You seem to like him, don't you?” All of a sudden, Alice was very excited.

“He's nice, gorgeous, and we have a lot in common. But, don't get ahead of yourself. You know that I don't do relationships.” I sounded like I was trying to remind myself. But still, I was sure of my rules.

“Well, I think we'll see about that.” When she paused, I knew that she was about to touch an unpleasant topic. “Bella, you have to let go of Jacob and move on.”

“I let go of him years ago. I'm not missing him, and I'm not still in love with him. That ship has sailed. I might miss the friend he once was. But, Alice, I can't allow anyone to hurt me like that again.” Every one of my words was true. I wasn't yearning for Jake anymore; I hadn't been for years and I had been aware of that for a while now. Still, it didn't change the fact that I was afraid of history repeating itself, of a man I trusted hurting me.

“If you say so. Please, promise me to just be open-minded about Edward. He's really a great guy,” she pleaded with me.

I sighed. “I'll try, I promise.”

“Okay, then. Have a nice day. Talk to you later. Bye.”

“Bye, Alice.”

 

****POMH****

 

I spent the remainder of Sunday afternoon doing the laundry. I went to bed early. After all, I had to catch up on some sleep. Before I fell asleep, my cell phone rang. When I looked at the screen I saw a message from an unknown number.

_**Hello, beautiful. I wanted to tell you once again that I had a really great time last night and this morning. I hope to see you again soon. Good night. -E** _

His words made me oddly happy and, with a smile playing on my lips, I fell asleep.

 

****POMH****

 

When I woke up Monday morning, I felt like I'd been run over by a bus. Instead of getting a good night's sleep, I'd had vivid, unsettling dreams. They started out with Jasper, Alice, Jacob, and I visiting the fair. First, we rode on the merry-go-round, then we ate cotton candies, and after that, the guys won us two teddy bears by throwing balls at empty cans. We had a lot of fun. The laughter was still ringing in my ears. Then, the next thing I knew, Jacob was kissing me in my bedroom in Forks. We were standing in front of my mirror, both half naked. One thing led to another, and we were fooling around on the bed. Suddenly, with a grave expression, he said, “Bella, I love you.” I'd been feeling uncomfortable all along. After I blinked my eyes, it wasn't Jake I was with, but Edward who smiled at me crookedly, saying, “I love you, beautiful.” Without hesitating I answered him, “I love you, too,” in a serious but very moved tone, and we had passionate sex.

When I opened my eyes, I felt confused, and the wetness between my thighs was a clear indication that the action in my dream had been really good.

I shook my head a few times, trying to get rid of the lingering bewilderment, before I climbed out of bed. The aching in my muscles, a reminder of Saturday night, only added to my overall feeling of unease.

At work, I only had to do some digital photo finishing for the comb cards I shot last week. That kind of work didn't demand enough attention to keep my mind from wandering

I was still feeling a little unsettled about last night's dream. Jacob hadn't been starring in my dreams for years now. Why was he suddenly back? Even after I had gone through the box the other day, he hadn't haunted me the nights after.

And what made me feel even more anxious was the fact that I had dreamed of Edward. I had to admit that he'd left quite an impression, but that didn't explain why my mind would dream up confessions of love.

I was sure that it was supposed to be a warning — that I should be on my guard. In a way, he was getting under my skin, and that meant potential danger.

However, the rational part of my mind was set on keeping the charismatic man who wanted to see me again, at bay, while my subconscious was already looking forward to our next meeting.

 

****POMH****

 

It took the scheming part of my mind until Wednesday to come up with a reason why I definitely needed to see someone at Edward's firm.

The two nights before had not been restorative, due to constant dreams featuring a certain man with beautiful green eyes and tousled bronze hair. Not only did I wake up with a lingering feeling of exhaustion, but also with a desire to feel Edward's hands on my skin.

I called Eric, the guy who was responsible for the campaign we would be shooting next week, and asked him for a meeting to go over the different subjects and scenes. He agreed to see me at eleven in the morning.

It took about an hour until we were through with planning the shooting. We'd be doing an ad campaign for a local department store. Nothing too exciting.

When we were finished, I had to think up a way to find Edward in this building where more than a hundred people were working, and even more importantly, I needed a reason to go see him. So I decided to swing by Jasper's office and try to inconspicuously interrogate him about the location of Edward's office.

It turned out that I had put way too much thought into this. As I knocked on Jasper's door, a velvety voice that spoke directly to my lady parts invited me in. Very cautiously, and with a hammering heart, I opened the door to find Edward bent over some papers on the desk. As soon as he saw me, his face lit up with a brilliant smile.

“Hello, Bella. What a surprise to see you. What brings you here?” I took three steps into the room and was met by Edward, who greeted me with a warm hug. I wasn't sure what I had expected, but certainly not that.

“Well, uhm, I had a meeting with Eric concerning the shooting that's scheduled for next week. And I figured, since I was in the neighborhood, I'd say hello to Jazz. Where is he, by the way?” I tried not to look into his eyes when he let go of me but failed miserably.

“Should I feel offended that you didn't come to see me?” His eyes were sparkling with amusement.

“I didn't know where to find you. Maybe I would have asked Jasper. But that doesn't seem to be necessary now. So, where is Jasper?” To hide my nervousness, I strolled over to the desk to take a look at the papers Edward had been occupied with.

“We were working together on something when he had to go to a meeting. Since all the paperwork and stuff is in this office, he suggested that I stay here, and thank God I did. Otherwise we wouldn't have met today.” He was standing next to me now, but his eyes were on me instead of the desk.

“I'm sorry, I didn't want to barge in and interrupt you. If you have to work — “

“No, no. I was about to take my lunch break, anyway. Would you care to join me? I'd be grateful for some company.” His hand happened to brush over mine when he reached for his phone that was lying on the desk. Even this insignificant touch made my skin tingle in a very pleasant way.

“I'm sure Jessica would love to keep you company,” I teased with the sweetest smile.

“I guess so, but I doubt the diner has a place for me to hide when, about two minutes into lunch, I can't stand her anymore. I'd much rather go with you.” This time, he placed his hand on mine intentionally. Just like Saturday night, I felt a jolt of electricity run through my body at the touch of his skin.

“I think I have to get back to the studio.” Suddenly, I was afraid of what his presence was doing to me. I was inexplicably drawn to him.

“Please, Bella, just lunch. It'll take an hour tops.” His eyes bore into mine, and my resolve crumbled.

“Okay, I guess an hour would be all right.”

He chuckled once and placing his hand on the small of my back, guided me out of the office.

 

****POMH****

 

“Turkey on whole wheat bread and a soda, please.” I smiled at the waitress as I placed my order.

“For me, the tuna on rye bread and an iced tea, please. Thank you.” Edward's eyes met mine as soon as the waitress turned to leave.

We had decided to go to the little diner across the street from his office building. It was nice and clean. We were sitting in a booth in a quiet corner, with a view of the whole place.

“So, how did you spend the rest of your Sunday? Did you do anything interesting?” He smiled at me as he opened the buttons of his jacket. He was wearing a dark gray suit with a light gray shirt and a green tie that perfectly matched his wonderful eyes. I had to pull my gaze away from him before I was able to answer.

“After I finished being interrogated by Alice, I did my laundry and went to bed early.” I rearranged the utensils on the table to keep my hands busy.

“Interrogated? About what?” He seemed to be amused by my choice of words.

“She demanded to know what happened Saturday night. Alice is very interested when it comes to my sex life.” Visibly annoyed, I rolled my eyes.

“So, what did you tell her?” he asked curiously.

I was a little embarrassed. “The truth, or part of it, at least.”

“What part?” he insisted.

“About the kissing and how we happened to end up in the guest room.” I was glad the waitress interrupted us, serving our drinks and sandwiches.

“And that was all she wanted to know? I thought girlfriends shared every detail of their adventures.” He took a bite of his food and grinned as he chewed.

“Well, Alice used to share everything, and I mean everything, with me when she was single. You have to know, she was kind of a wild child. There was a lot to share. And I know more than I like about what's happening in her and Jasper's bedroom.” I took a bite of my sandwich too.

“And you? How much do you have to share?” I couldn't help myself, but he almost sounded a bit jealous.

“Not nearly as much as she had. Sometimes I have, but mostly I don't.” This was not safe ground for me to walk on. So I said the first thing that came to my mind to change the subject. “She wanted to know if you were any good.” As soon as it was out, I wanted to take it back.

He swallowed before he nonchalantly asked, “Well, was I?”

“You're not really asking that, are you? I thought men only do that in stupid jokes or bad porn movies.” I took another bite.

“You brought it up, and now I'm curious.” He grinned.

I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment. “Let's say, you made me respond in ways I never have before,” I whispered shyly. If it had been possible, I would have blushed even deeper.

“So, is that a good thing?” He struggled to paint a serious look on his face but couldn't quite suppress the smirk that was breaking through.

“Yes, it is. And this is the last I'm gonna say about it.” To emphasize my words, I bit a big bite off my sandwich and started to chew with determination.

“Do you know how adorable you are when you blush like that?” He chuckled lowly before he ate the last bit of his lunch.

When I didn't answer, he cleared his throat before he asked, “So, was there anything else Alice wanted to know? Did you tell her any specifics?” Again, he raised his brow inquisitively.

“She wishes.” I snickered quickly, while my mind started to plan my next move. I wanted to make sure that he knew I was all for repeating Saturday night, that I enjoyed his company, but that I wasn't looking for a relationship. “She asked if we would see each other again. I answered that I liked you, and that neither of us would mind having some fun together, but that she should stop planning the wedding, because that's not where this is going.” I said all that in one breath to get it out without changing my mind.

“Right, we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves.” He took a sip of his iced tea while he seemed deep in thought. “But I want you to know that I really enjoy your company. I liked talking to you in our hideout. And of course, I liked what we did after that. I'd very much like us to be friends.” His eyes held mine with a hopeful glimmer.

“I'd like that too,” I replied truthfully.

It was hard to sit across the table from Edward without touching him, all the more because I knew how good his hands and lips had felt on my skin. When we were in Jasper's office, I had been a tad disappointed that Edward hadn't thrown me on the desk and taken me right there and then. I was feeling constantly aroused in his presence. But, although I would be the last one to admit it, his perfectly sculpted body wasn't the only reason. His mesmerizing personality was drawing me in as well.

We talked for a while longer until his lunch hour was up. Always the gentleman, Edward insisted on paying for everything. No matter how strongly I objected, he wouldn't let me pay.

In front of the entrance to his office building, we halted for a minute to say goodbye.

“Thanks for the meal. Once again, you should have let me pay.” I looked up at him accusingly.

“Thank you for keeping me company. Believe me, it was worth the cost.” He smiled radiantly before he continued. “Do you have any plans for the weekend?”

I had expected the question, and I'd changed my answer to it about a dozen times. I wanted to see him, have sex with him again, but I couldn't allow him to ask me out on a date. I didn't want to get into a relationship.

Although I had intended to keep my distance, I answered, “Alice and Jazz want to check out the new club downtown, and she insists on dragging me along. If you're interested, ask Jasper about the details.” At least I had made clear that we would not be on a date. If he wanted to come, it would be a group thing.

“I will. I should start exploring this city now that I'm going to live here. Then I guess I'll see you Friday night.” He bent down and kissed me on the cheek, maybe lingering there a moment too long to keep it casual. I was still reveling in the touch of his lips when he pulled away and whispered, “Goodbye, beautiful,” before he turned and walked away.

 

********POMH********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think? Alice is kind of nosy, right? But she's a real friend. And what about the lunch? That was awkward. What do you think will be happening next week? I'll give you a hint.
> 
> … “Wait until we're alone. I promise I'll coax the most exquisite noises out of you.” He chuckled while his lips caressed my ear. I quivered at the prospect of what Edward would do to me. …
> 
> Sounds kind of hot, doesn't it? I hope you'll all be back next week. Until then, let me know what you think.


	5. Your place or mine?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm glad you're all back for chapter 5 of my little story. As I promised you, this chapter is going to be hot.   
> I was totally overwhelmed when the count of followers hit the 100 mark. I'm very grateful to all of you for following, reviewing and favoriting.   
> Before I'll let you get to the actual chapter, I want to thank my betas AnthroBug and babykay18 from Project Team Beta. They made this chapter so much better. Due to the fact that I changed a few things around in the last minute, there might be a few errors. So every mistake you find is mine only. I also want to thank my pre-reader VampGirl79 for her continuing support.   
> So now, here's a little smut for you.
> 
> Disclaimer: SM is the owner of all things Twilight, and I'm willing to kiss her feet for making all this here possible.

Chapter 5 – Your place or mine?

  
  


Friday didn't come fast enough for my taste. While at night he hadn't ceased to star in my dreams, during the day, I tried my best to keep my mind off Edward Cullen. I worked a little more than necessary at my studio, cleaned my apartment — although it had already been spotless before — and I cleaned out my wardrobe. It was all to no avail. Friday night still didn't arrive fast enough.

I wanted to see Edward. My body was aching for the way only he had ever touched me. Although I couldn't wait to see him again, and I wanted him like I'd never wanted any other man before, I needed to make it clear to him that we were not dating. We were becoming friends, but there was nothing remotely romantic between us. At least, that was the way I intended it to be.

When it was finally time to get dressed, I stood in front of my open closet, wondering what to wear. I had already put on a black lace bra with the matching thong. After trying on almost half of my wardrobe, I finally settled on a black leather miniskirt, combined with an oversized black t-shirt with a wide neckline, which fell to the side, exposing my shoulder. Tugging the shirt into the skirt, I went to the bathroom. Standing in front of the mirror, I loosely pinned up my hair and put on a bit of make up. I knew good make-up could work miracles, but I didn't like painting my face. So I went with a light foundation, a little bit of natural looking eye-shadow, a little kohl, and mascara. To finish, I put on a rosy lip gloss, and I was good to go.

When my phone rang, I knew Alice and Jasper were waiting for me downstairs. On the way to the door, I slipped into my favorite black stilettos, which Alice called my “fuck-me-heels”, grabbed my coat and purse, and was out the door.

“Hey, Bella. I hope you're up for a night on the town. I'm not planning on going home before dawn,” Alice greeted me as I sat down in the backseat of Jasper's BMW.

“Hi, guys. A night on the town is exactly what I need today. Let's go.”

When we arrived at the club, there was a long line in front of the entrance. After Jasper handed the key to his car to the valet, we walked straight to the doorman. We were allowed inside immediately. Jasper had handled the promotion for the club, so he had our names put on the guest list. After checking our coats, we entered the big room with a long bar and giant dance floor. It was quite dark inside, though spotlights danced around, illuminating the room just enough.

The club was very stylish and the number one address in Seattle right now. After admiring the design, we headed for the bar.

“What can I do for you, ladies?” the bartender asked, winking at Alice. Jasper had been held up by a client somewhere on the way through the crowd.

“Two martinis, please,” she replied curtly, smiling politely at the man in the white shirt and black vest.

While we were waiting for our drinks, I tried to take an inconspicuous look around the room, searching for a certain man with disheveled bronze hair. The feeling of disappointment at his apparent absence put a damper on my mood. I had to remind myself that this was neither a date, nor had he actually said he'd be here.

“Don't worry. He'll come. I'm sure,” Alice shouted into my ear. It was too loud in there for a normal conversation.

“What are you talking about? I'm not waiting for anyone,” I answered nonchalantly.

Before Alice could disagree, the bartender placed the martinis in front of us. With our drinks in hand, we turned to watch the dance floor. The music was loud, and the beat went straight to my stomach. We sipped our drinks in silence, swinging slightly to the rhythm. Although it was only 10 p.m., the club was packed with people.

“I have to go find Jasper. Do you want to come along, or do you want to wait here?” Alice asked when she had finished her martini.

I looked down at the empty glass in my hand. “No, I'll wait. I need another one of these to get in the mood.”

“Okay, see you later, then.” With those words, she was gone to look for her boyfriend.

I turned to face the bar, waiting to order another drink. A few minutes later, still trying to get the barkeepers attention, I shuddered with excitement, feeling warm lips planting a kiss on my bare shoulder. “Hello, beautiful,” a velvety voice that made my insides flutter, breathed against my ear.

Whirling around, I was greeted by a pair of bright green eyes and a breathtakingly crooked smile.

“Hi,” was all I could manage to say.

Edward's face came very close to mine so he could whisper or, considering the noise, rather scream into my ear. “Did you already order?” I shook my head in response. “What do you want to drink?” I turned my head slightly to reach his ear with my mouth before I said, “Martini.”

He waved at the bartender, and when he came over to us, Edward placed his order. “Martini for the lady and a beer for me, please.”

As the guy walked away, Edward turned to face me again. “You're alone? Where are Jazz and Alice?” he asked, smiling at me.

“Jazz ran into a client, and Alice went to rescue him.”

“So, I have you all to myself, then?” The pleased expression on his face made me forget the few hundred people around us. I was feeling sparks flying through the air.

“Well, at least for now. It's just you, me, and this room full of strangers.” That second, someone bumped into me, and I was pushed against Edward's chest. As I was about to lose my balance, he wrapped his arms around me and held me close to keep me from falling.

“Are you alright? If not, that drunken jerk will pay for it.” He looked down at me with concern in his eyes as I felt my body melt in his tight embrace.

“No, I'm okay. It's just that my balance is not the best in these stupid heels.” I took a whiff of his delicious scent, and for a second, closed my eyes to fully savor it.

“I like the heels.” I noticed his gaze move from my face down to my feet and back up again. His eyes lingered first on my thighs, then on my breasts for a short second, before they met mine again. “And the rest or your outfit, for that matter. I'm happy to be of service whenever your balance becomes an issue.”

Once again, I felt his eyes undress me, and I wished we were alone so his hands could do what his eyes were trying to.

“So, can I let go of you now? Or will you collapse?” His eyes were sparkling mischievously.

Annoyed by the assumption that I might be clumsy, I pushed him away. “No, I'm fine on my own.”

Edward chuckled when I turned away from him and smiled invitingly at the bartender, who set the beer and the martini in front of us.

“Cheers!” Edward clinked his bottle to my glass before he lifted it to his lips and downed half the bottle in one go.

Needing the alcohol to recover from the uproar Edward's touch had caused in me, I took three big gulps before I set the glass on the counter again.

“Hi, Edward. You came. That's great.” Alice appeared behind us, dragging Jasper along with her. “See, I told you so,” she said to me more quietly. I tried to elbow her in the ribs as inconspicuously as possible to make her shut up.

“Hey, man. Good to see you,” Jasper shouted, hitting Edward on the shoulder. “I know Chicago has more nightlife than Seattle, but I hope you'll enjoy what Seattle has to offer.”

Looking at me, he answered, “Seattle certainly has attractions Chicago can't hold a candle to.”

We had a few rounds and laughed a lot, when the music changed, and Alice started to jump up and down. “Bella, I love this song. You have to dance with me.” Without waiting for a sign of consent, she pulled me away from the guys to the center of the dance floor.

As we started to move to the sweeping beat, I realized that I was feeling a little lightheaded. After all, I'd had at least five martinis and two tequila shots. I gave in to the vibe and moved my hips, waving my arms over my head.

When a new song began, Jasper appeared behind Alice, and the instant she saw him, she turned to throw her arms around his neck. A minute later they were lost in the crowd.

Disappointed to be left alone in the middle of the dance floor, I was about to turn around and go to have another drink, when two strong arms wrapped around me, and a warm body was pressed against my back. I didn't have to turn around to know who was dancing with me. The sexual tension was unmistakable, and Edward's intoxicating scent was surrounding me.

His blazing lips trailed along my neck as our hips started to move in unison. “Do you have any idea how sexy you are when you're dancing?” He bit my earlobe before he continued. “And that wicked little skirt of yours has been driving me insane all night.” After pulling me close to make me feel his body's response to my inviting outfit, he put his hands on my hips and turned me around to face him.

His eyes were clouded with lust when he pulled me close again. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he bent down to kiss me. Without wasting any time, our mouths opened and our ravenous tongues found each other.

Our hips still moved to the beat when Edward's hands grabbed my butt and pulled me hard against his erection. Totally turned on by his arousal, I moaned into his mouth.

No one seemed to be concerned that we were shamelessly making out in the middle of a crowded club. Our mouths were devouring one another, while our hands were groping each other's body. I didn't know how long we had been grinding against each other, but when my entrance was throbbing and my hard nipples were aching to be touched, it became too much. Edward seemed to feel it too, when he pulled away from my fevered lips and groaned into my ear. “Your place or mine?”

“I live ten minutes from here,” I choked out as he kissed my throat.

“Then my place it is. If we take a taxi, we'll be there in five.” His tongue captured mine one more time, before he turned me away from him and shoved me through the crowd toward the exit.

“We have to say goodbye to Alice and Jazz,” I said as his fingers were tapping impatiently on the counter of the checkroom, while we were waiting for the attendant to get our coats.

“I'm quite sure they'll know where we are,” he answered, helping me into my jacket.

We took a taxi that stood waiting in front of the club, and as soon as Edward had told the driver his address, he turned to me again, kissing my lips fervently. His left hand that had been resting on my knee began to travel upward until his fingers reached my thong. I felt him smile against my lips when he found the pool of wetness between my thighs.

Pushing the lace aside, his eager fingers started to stroke up and down my folds. I struggled to suppress the moans that threatened to escape my throat.

“Wait until we're alone. I promise I'll coax the most exquisite noises out of you.” He chuckled quietly while his lips caressed my ear. I quivered at the prospect of what Edward would do to me.

It really only took five minutes until the car stopped in front of a modern, expensive-looking apartment building. Edward paid the driver generously before he took my hand and pulled me with him, past the doorman he only nodded at, and into the one elevator that was waiting with open doors.

As soon as the doors closed, we were all over each other once more, tongues dancing, and Edward's hands were under my skirt, grabbing my bare cheeks. I couldn't wait to feel his skin on mine again. When the elevator had reached the right floor, the doors opened, and we stumbled down the hall to his door, unwilling to break our wild lip-lock.

In his apartment, he quickly urged me into the bedroom where we climbed onto his bed together. As I lay down on my back, his lips suddenly broke away from mine, when his hands impatiently pushed my skirt up around my waist. A second later, he yanked my thong down, leaving my legs and loins exposed. He pushed my knees apart forcefully before his tongue attacked my throbbing nub.

“Uhhh” I moaned out in pleasure, surprised by the sudden strike. I had no idea what he was doing differently from any other man I had been with, but unlike anyone else, his touch set my whole being on fire.

His skillful tongue circled my pearl, his mouth sucked it in, as I was feeling increasingly lightheaded. Just like he had promised on the ride here, I was unable to hold back my loud moans of ecstasy. My right hand grabbed Edward's hair, pulling him impossibly closer, while my left hand was holding onto the sheet. Very soon, my excitement reached the boiling point, and I panted frantically, my toes curling, as orgasmic waves washed over my shivering body.

But instead of being pleased with himself and moving on to some other part of me, Edward didn't stop his ministrations. Post climax, my clit was extremely sensitive, and I tried to squirm out of his continuing assault. But he wouldn't let me. Very determinedly, he went on enticing my pulsating bud to send jolt after jolt of pleasure through my body. Only moments later, I reached another climax, moaning even louder than the time before.

Still, he didn't let go of me. My head was spinning like crazy, and my breathing was all over the place. Edward was making good on his promise, as I felt my throat fill with noises I wasn't even able to hear coming out in my state of unbearable arousal.

“Edward, please, I can't,” I whimpered. I was feeling drained, unable to handle another orgasm when he demanded, “You can. Come on, just once more.”

His words turned me on a lot, and he seemed to double his efforts once more, so that moments later, my back arched up, my hands frantically pulling his hair, and I cried out in the most overwhelming orgasm.

This time he stopped, kissing my bud one last time, before he slowly and with pleasure started to finally undress me. In the process, his lips, tongue, and hands paid attention to every inch of my exposed skin. I was lying there, unable to move, gazing in wonder at the beautiful man who seemed to know exactly which of my buttons to push to get the reaction he was after.

When he was done stripping me of my clothes, he undressed himself before coming back to me, pressing his lips to mine in an almost tender gesture. As his blazing tongue moved along my bottom lip, I opened my mouth, willingly letting him in to be met by my own greedy tongue.

I noticed Edward reaching for the nightstand, opening the drawer and grabbing a condom. He pulled his lips away from mine, just long enough to put the condom on. Then he kissed me again, more demanding than before, as he slid his hard length inside me. Our linked mouths muffled our collective moan of arousal.

He moved inside me deeply and forcefully but not in a rush. He took his time, having his way with me, and I was putty in his hands. My body responded in the most incredible ways to every kiss, touch, and thrust.

After a few minutes, I felt stronger again. I pushed against Edward's chest, and without breaking our searing kiss, he rolled onto his back, keeping me sitting on him with straddled legs. I detached my lips from his, sat up and started moving my hips back and forth. Edward moaned with pleasure, a smile showing on his lips.

The way his hardness rubbed my walls without really moving in or out, caused a wonderful sensation, and I had to close my eyes to fully savor it.

Then Edward put his thumb in his mouth and placed the finger between my thighs, once again rubbing my swollen bundle of nerves. I moved my hips a few more times, before a sudden burst of fireworks shook my body. I screamed out as I came hard and fast. I felt the muscles of my sex gripping Edward's cock, making him follow suit. “Oh, Bella, fuck, oh fuck.” He moaned breathlessly as he came, wildly thrusting upward into me.

When his movements died down, I collapsed on top of him, giggling hysterically, and he was laughing with me. His strong arms held me close to him as we both waited for our erratic breathing to calm down.

“Did I promise you too much?” Edward asked me, smugness clearly audible in his voice.

“No. This was a lot more than I expected.” I kissed his lips softly before burying my face in his chest. I had never felt as good as I was feeling right then with Edward's arms around me.

“I think, I should — ” I started, after a while, but he didn't let me finish.

“No, you should stay where you are. If you want to, I'll drive you home in the morning.” Unwilling to put up with any objection, he pulled the blanket over the two of us and started stroking my back in a very soothing way. When he began to hum a sweet tune, the exertions of the last hour took their toll, and I quickly fell asleep.

  
  


********POMH********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, is it hot in here or what? I hope you enjoyed Edward and Bella's evening. They obviously did. Well, what's next? We're going to learn a little bit about Edward's past.  
> … “I think you have a right to know. You're not the other woman. I don't cheat.” …  
> Did that pique your interest? I hope so, because I want to meet all of you next Tuesday for chapter 6. Until then, let me hear your thoughts on the night on the town. CU


	6. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to all of you. I'm so glad that so many of you seem to like my story. It's a bit like a third baby to me, and I'm really happy be able to share it with you.  
> Thanks to my dear friend and pre-reader VampGirl79 I got nominated in two categories for the TwiFic Fandom Awards. She nominated me for Favorite Newbie Author and Favorite Fangirl. I'm feeling honored to be mentioned in the same category as writers like planetblue or 2old4fanfic. I really love their stories and I can only recommend them warmly to you. Their fics are great. So you see, I'm definitely a fangirl. Here's the link for the vote http://twificfandomawards dot blogspot dot de/p/vote dot html Replace the dot with . and you'll get there. Please, you should all go over there and vote, not for me but for every writer and fic you love. They deserve it.  
> Before I let you read the chapter and finally learn about Edward's background story, I want to thank my betas shinrai and StoryPainter from PTB. They really polished this chapter.  
> Now I'll leave you to the story. See you at the end.

Chapter 6 – Revelations

 

I woke when the sunshine crept into Edward's bedroom, my head resting on his chest, his hand on my back. I was feeling cozy and warm, unwilling to do anything that could disturb this moment of security. His skin was soft and comforting against mine, while the air around us was heavy with a mixture of Edward's scent and the faintly lingering odor of sex.

While I was still reveling in the perfection of this morning, my mind started to ruin everything. A little voice in my head reminded me that, again, I'd let a man be closer than I actually felt comfortable with. This was too close to being in a relationship.

I had made it clear to Edward I wasn't looking for a boyfriend, and he hadn't objected.

I couldn't take the conflicting feelings inside me any longer, so I decided to flee the bed and bring myself to a safer place, away from Edward's warm and wonderful body.

On my way out of the bedroom, I found satin pajamas lying on a chair. I grabbed the top and sneaked out of the room.

After going to the bathroom, I ventured to explore the apartment, wearing nothing but Edward's pajama top. First, I opened the door to the room that was right next to the bedroom. Peeking inside, I saw that it was crammed with unpacked boxes and pieces of furniture wrapped in plastic. In one corner stood a jar containing paint for the walls as well as a paint roller and a few brushes. He didn't seem to be done moving in yet.

I closed the door again, making my way to the living room. It was spacious with pale beige walls, a big, comfortable-looking, off-white sofa, and a glass coffee table. Behind that, there was a metal rack with panes of glass. A big, high-end plasma TV was standing on it.

On the far side of the room, there was a dining table with six chairs in front of a wide window. Left to it was a spacious open kitchen. The furniture was of high quality and modern, but didn't make the room seem cold. The whole place, except for the kitchen and the bathroom, was laid-out with a dark hardwood floor. The frame of the coffee table, the dining table, the shelf unit, that covered one of the walls from floor to ceiling, and the two chests of drawers, that stood against the opposite wall, were all made of dark wood, as well.

The kitchen cupboards had vanilla-colored glossy doors, while the cabinets seemed to be made of the same wood the rest of the furniture was. I opened a few doors before I found a glass and filled it with water from the faucet.

After downing a few mouthfuls, I inspected my surroundings again. Edward had a beautiful home that seemed to perfectly match his personality. It was warm, modern, elegant, but still comfortable. I had always imagined to, one day, live in a house decorated like this.

I strolled back into the living room, stopping in front of the shelf-covered wall. The racks were only partly filled with books and CD's. Against the wall stood several boxes labeled “books” and “music”.

Curious as I was about this apartment's inhabitant, I opened one box and took out a few CD's. He had a lot of jazz and indie rock, some contemporary bands and many old ones. And there were some CD's with classical music as well. I took a look at the CD's that were already sitting on the shelves and understood at once that Edward arranged his music alphabetically by performer's names. So I figured I might help him unpack a little.

The third CD I looked at had a small piece of paper under the lid, which read “To Edward – from Tanya”. I paused, wondering about the meaning of that message but tried not to think too much into it. After five more, there was another one with a message, “For my Valentine — Love, Tanya”. When I found several more messages from this ominous Tanya, I couldn't keep part of my mind from worrying about that connection. Still, I went on unpacking the box I had started with until it was empty.

Then, I took a look at Edward's books. He had a lot of the classics but some modern stuff as well. When I took a wonderful copy of _Romeo and Juliet_ from the rack and opened it, there was an inscription, saying “To my Romeo, from your Juliet. Love, Tanya”. It struck me as odd that Edward would have so many items with a certain woman's name on them, but afraid of being perceived as nosy, I decided to just start unpacking another box.

When I was almost done with the third box, I heard footsteps coming from the bedroom and entering the living room. I turned around to see Edward, wearing the pajama bottoms matching my top, his chest bare, his hair more disheveled than usual, a plain white t-shirt in his hands.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he said after kissing my lips for a short moment. He looked around then shook his head. “You have to know, that I didn't bring you here to unpack my stuff.”

“Believe me, I know exactly what you brought me here for. How could I forget about that?” I said, biting my lip, as I ran my index finger down the middle of his bare chest, stopping at his belly button. Then I turned around to face the chaos. “But this place really looks like you're rather packing to go back to Chicago. So I figured, I might just help you a little. You aren't, are you? Going back, I mean.” I tried not to sound too eager, but the thought of Edward leaving Seattle stung.

“No, I'm not. I just don't like moving, so I have been postponing unpacking a lot.” He laughed humorlessly before his expression became unreadable when he added, “My family wouldn't let me come back, anyway.”

What was that supposed to mean? He had told me he was close to his family. Why would they want him to live as far away as Seattle? Edward didn't seem inclined to say anything more about it, so I decided not to press the subject.

“Are you hungry? I'll make you breakfast,” he offered. Apparently, his mood was back to normal.

My stomach growled before I could answer.

“Okay. What do you like? I suggest eggs and bacon?” He smiled his beautiful lopsided smile, while his green eyes sparkled at me.

“That would be perfect. Can I do anything to help?”

“No. Just keep me company, and I'll be fine,” he said, as he headed toward the kitchen, pulling his t-t-shirt over his head.

There was a kitchen island, separating the kitchen from the living/dining room with a breakfast bar attached to it. I sat down on one of the bar stools and realized, for the first time, that I wasn't wearing any underwear. I tried to ignore that fact as I watched Edward whirling around the kitchen cooking breakfast. He appeared to be quite a skilled cook. I always found that sexy in a man.

Ten minutes later, breakfast was ready, and after placing a plate with deliciously smelling eggs and bacon in front of me, he sat down beside me.

“Hmm, this is great. Where did you learn to cook like this?” I asked him very unladylike with my mouth full of food.

“My mother thinks men should know their way around the kitchen as well as women should, so she started to teach me when I was five.”

I tried to imagine a mini version of Edward, helping his mom preparing dinner and had to smile at the picture. We chewed in comfortable silence, until we both had cleared our plates.

“So, did you find anything interesting between my CD's or books? Anything embarrassing?” he asked as he rinsed the plates in the sink before putting them in the dishwasher.

When he turned around to face me again, I decided I couldn't ignore what I had found in his stuff.

“Edward, uhm, there's something I need to know. Who's Tanya? Don't get me wrong, I'm not jealous or anything — “ Of course I was, but I didn't want him to be aware of it. “ — but I don't want to be the other woman. That's something I just don't do.”

I wasn't looking at him while I asked the question I didn't want to ask. When there was no answer, I looked up, searching his face, and what I saw made me feel like I had kicked him in the gut. His lips were pressed together in an angry line while his eyes were squeezed shut in what seemed to be pain. Quickly, I walked a few steps forward but halted before I reached him, unsure of what to do.

“Edward, I'm sorry, I didn't want to — “

“It's okay,” he cut me off. “I think you have a right to know. You're not _the other woman_. _I_ don't cheat.” He led me to the couch and motioned for me to sit down as he took a seat beside me.

“Tanya was my girlfriend. We'd been together for five years before I found her in _our_ apartment in _our_ bed with a friend of mine on top of her, right after I had picked out her engagement ring.” He took a few breaths before he continued. “I wanted to marry her, while she had nothing better to do than fuck my friend. After we broke up, I found out that it had not been the first time, neither had it been the first guy. All that time, she'd been fucking around behind my back and I was too stupid to notice.”

I wanted to say something, to tell him how sorry I was, when his intense gaze kept me from opening my mouth.

“I was in a really bad place after the break-up. I threw her out, right after she got dressed, and never saw her again. But I was hurting badly. I tried to numb the pain and embarrassment by drinking and partying a lot and sleeping around with lots of random women whose names I didn't even know, most of the time. Never the same woman twice; never did we exchange anything personal. My family was very worried about me and my lifestyle. So, when the job offer from Seattle came, they convinced me that it would be best if I left Chicago and started over somewhere else, some place that doesn't hold painful memories, where I might be able to move on and give up my unhealthy behavior. And that's how I ended up here.”

After a moment of silence, I laid my hand on his. “I'm really sorry. It's hard to discover that someone is a completely different person than you thought. And that after five years.” I paused for a second, letting what I'd just said sink in. “Wow, five years. That's a very long time.”

“Is it? How long was your longest relationship?” he asked, honestly interested.

“Uhm,” I cleared my throat. I didn't like to speak about my track record. “Six months.” I was kind of embarrassed.

“Six months? Are all guys in Seattle idiots?” His eyes were wide with astonishment.

“Most of them are, but it's me. I'm not good with relationships. I'm not good with commitment. That's why I don't do it anymore.” I hoped that he was getting the hint. “But I don't like to talk about it.”

“Well, another time then.” He sounded confident that I would eventually tell him about my history. “So, how do you like my place?” he asked, obviously changing the subject.

“It's really beautiful. I like the color scheme and the furniture. I love the kitchen. But what about the other room? It doesn't even seem to be painted, yet.”

“It isn't. I didn't get to that yet. It's going to be an office/guest room. There's a lot to do before it can serve as that, I know. But I'm not good with paint, and I definitely need help with that.”

“Painting is not that hard. I painted my whole apartment myself.” I was aware that my words were kind of an invitation to ask for my help. But somehow my mind seemed to be on autopilot right then, trying to find a way to prolong the time I had with him.

“You did? You wouldn't happen to be free today? All the necessary equipment is already here.” His eyes were bright with anticipation.

“Well, since I'm not going to get home unless you drive me, and you don't seem inclined to do so, I'm stuck here. I may as well paint your guest room to pay for the fare home. It's just that I think I would present an interesting sight painting a room wearing leather skirt and heels.” I smiled at him suggestively.

“It would be a very sexy sight, and I most certainly wouldn't mind. Or you could keep wearing my pajama top. It looks great on you. But I would be willing to give you one of my old shirts, some sweatpants and socks and we're good to go.” With these words he pulled me after him to his bedroom, laughing complacently.

 

********POMH********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how did you like Edward's story? Did you suspect it? Tanya's a bitch. She really did a number on him. And what about next week? There's going to be some painting and a little bit of bonding.
> 
> … “I guess you discovered one of my darkest secrets. I'm afraid I'll have to kill you to keep you from telling on me.” A playful glare accompanied his mock threat. … 
> 
> There will be more of this last week. Until then, you know how much I love reviews. Bye


	7. MIA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! Another week has passed and here's the next chapter of my little story. I'm so happy that so many people seem to enjoy it. Just so you know, this chapter is a little shorter than the others and it's kind of a filler to get to some lemony goodness in chapter 8. But I'll tell you more about that in the end.  
> I want to shout out a big thank you to my betas evelyn-shaye and EdwardsMate4ever from PTB who did a great job, giving me a lot to think about and change to make this better for you. And as always, I want to thank my friend and pre-reader Vampgirl79 for her support and for nominating me for the TwiFic Fandom Awards in the categories Favorite Newbie Author and Favorite Fangirl. For all of you who haven't voted for their favorite authors and stories yet, there's still time to vote until November 5th. So many great writers and stories are nominated. You should really go check it out.  
> Now I'll finally leave you to chapter 7. Enjoy!  
> Disclaimer: As you all know, Twilight's not mine, yada, yada, yada...

Chapter 7 – MIA

 

I looked plain stupid wearing Edward's old clothes. Everything was about ten sizes too large for me. Trying to make the best of it, I knotted the checkered flannel shirt around my waist and rolled up the sleeves and the waist of the washed-out gray sweat shorts. At least I was able to move unhindered by the clothes. When Edward saw my finished painting attire, he smirked at me.

“Well, you can pull off even the most hideous outfit and somehow manage to make it look sexy. Actually, seeing you like this gives me lots of ideas,” he said seductively, taking the knot in his hand, pulling me closer.

I was very tempted to let him have his way, but apart from the fact that my mind was set on getting this job done, I needed to keep a bit of distance between us. So I laid my hands on his chest and gently pushed him away before he could kiss me, which had clearly been his intention.

“No. Not now, anyway. This room is going to be painted today, even if I have to do it on my own, because I can't trust you around me.” I raised my brow, faking a threat.

“Okay, okay, okay.” His hands were up in the air in a gesture of capitulation. “I promise to be good — for now. Let's get started.”

 

****POMH****

 

A few hours later, the walls in Edward's office/guest room had a new layer of light green paint. It really looked bright and welcoming. After freeing the dark wooden desk and a few sets of shelves from their plastic wrappers, the room matched the rest of the apartment's décor perfectly. We had piled the boxes that had yet to be unpacked in one corner to make the rest of the room look tidy.

“Now, all I have to do is buy a fold-out sofa and unpack the rest of my stuff, and this could pass for a guest room. Thanks so much for your help.” We were standing next to each other, our backs to the door, admiring our work.

“What do you need a fold-out sofa for? I thought guests were welcome in your bed?” I shot him a mischievous grin.

“That only applies to special guests.” Again, he grabbed the knot on the shirt, pulling me closer. This time, I didn't stop him. His presence had made me feel kind of dizzy all day.

Without another word, he touched his lips to mine, nibbling my upper lip with his. Our kiss didn't stay innocent and playful for long. So, before it could unfold into another round in the bedroom, I pulled away. My body was desperate for his touch, but for once, the reasonable part of me won out, saying I should finally leave.

“I think we have to postpone that. It's time for me to go home.” I said the words softly, careful not to make him feel rejected.

“When have you last taken a look at yourself?” He sounded amused as the corners of his mouth curled up in a grin. “You can't go home looking like that. You're covered in green sprinkles from head to toe. Go take a shower, and I'll order pizza. I insist on feeding you before I take you home. It's the least I can do to thank you.” He turned around and left the room, not giving me any chance to object.

 

****POMH****

 

I came back into the living room, wearing Edward's bathrobe and drying my hair with a towel, when I saw that he had set two plates and two wine glasses on the coffee table. I looked around to find him in the kitchen, opening a bottle of red wine.

“I hope you like wine?” he said as he noticed me standing in front of the kitchen island. “I wasn't sure. So far, I've only seen you drink liquor.”

“Apart from beer, I drink almost anything. But, you didn't have to,” I answered, gesturing toward the set table.

“Yes, I did.” He went over and poured wine in both glasses. “Now, I'll go take a shower, too. You make yourself comfortable. The pizza will be here in a few minutes. If I'm still in the bathroom, there's money on the little table next to the door.”

With those words, he was gone. I went to the bedroom, putting on my club outfit from Friday night, before I sat down on the couch.

When Edward joined me, wearing blue jeans and a white t-shirt, I had already emptied my glass and the pizza was on the table.

“Sorry that I kept you waiting,” he said, noticing the empty glass. “I hope you weren't bored.”

“Not at all. I took a look at your DVD collection. I can't believe you have all Elvis Presley movies. I mean, they're all bad. I thought I was the only person under the age of, say fifty, who loves them.”

“I guess you discovered one of my darkest secrets. I'm afraid I'll have to kill you to keep you from telling on me.” A playful glare accompanied this mock threat.

“Your secret's safe with me. You even have _Blue Hawaii_. I haven't seen that one in a while,” I said as he sat down beside me, refilling my glass.

“Then, I suggest that we watch it over dinner. The entertainment center is still unused. I have to try it out, anyway.” Nipping at my wine, I watched Edward getting the DVD started. I still couldn't believe that we both were into something as unusual as those movies. I mean, I never before met anyone remotely my age who even knew them.

We ate in silence, enjoying the wonderfully bad old movie. After finishing the pizza, we sat back and took a more comfortable position, our bodies touching from shoulder to knee.

In the middle of the film, just when Elvis started to sing “Can't Help Falling In Love”, I noticed that Edward had fallen asleep. For a minute, I thought about waking him to have him drive me home, but then I decided to let him sleep. I could still wake him when the movie was over.

 

****POMH****

 

_Ring, ring, ring._

“Shit, what is that?” I mumbled, my voice muffled by something I seemed to be speaking into. I felt comfortably warm where I was. It took me a second to realize that I wasn't alone and that I wasn't lying in my bed.

_Ring, ring, ring._

The body next to me stirred at the noise. When I opened my eyes, I recognized that I was lying in Edward's arms, my face buried in his chest.

“Fuck! We must have fallen asleep.” He cursed as he struggled to get up from the couch to retrieve the still-ringing phone.

“Hello?” he answered, his voice sounding very annoyed. “Good morning, Alice.”

Alice? Why was Alice calling Edward's house?

“Yes, she's here. Okay, wait a minute.” He came over, handing me the phone.

“Alice? What is it? What's wrong?” I asked as I got up from the sofa.

“What's wrong? I've tried to call your cell for about twenty-four hours, and every call has gone straight to voice mail. I've been calling your house, to no avail. Your answering machine is filled with messages, telling you to call me back. I've been worried. I was about to call the police and report you as missing when Jasper told me to try Edward first. After all, he was the last person to see you alive. Have you been there all along?” She really sounded worried. But in the end of her tirade there was a hint of excitement, too.

“Alice, calm down. Everything's all right. My battery must have died.” I signaled to Edward that I was going to the bedroom to finish the conversation. “I'm sorry I had you worried.” I closed the door behind me. “Yes, I've been here since Friday night.”

“Bella, you've never done that before. What happened? What have you been doing all this time? You have to be really sore.” I heard her giggle on the other end.

“We came here after the club to _you know what_. Then I stayed over. Yesterday, I happened to help Edward paint his guest room. And we must have both fallen asleep, watching a DVD last night. Otherwise, I would have gone home. Nothing happened after Friday night.” I felt like a teenager again, explaining to Charlie why I blew past my curfew.

“Nothing happened? Tell that to the Marines.”

“Nothing. Happened,” I repeated calmly. “We had breakfast, we talked, we painted, we ate, we fell asleep. End of story. We're friends. That's all.” I wanted to end this discussion. To be honest, I wasn't sure myself how this weekend could have happened.

“Are you going home today, or are you moving in with him?” Again, her excitement outweighed her irritation.

“No, I'll be home in about an hour. I'll talk to you then.”

“Okay. Bye, Bella.”

When I returned to the living room, I saw Edward whirling around in the kitchen, and the scent of pancakes was in the air.

“Hmm, breakfast again? You're spoiling me. You should have just taken me home.” I stopped at the kitchen island.

“No problem. I kept you here. At least I have to keep you fed. I'll take you home after breakfast.” He put another set of pancakes in the pan.

“Is there anything I can do to help you?”

“Nope. Just sit down and wait till I serve you.” He smirked at his suggestive statement.

“Just breakfast, please. I really have to go home today.” I laughed lightly as I sat down.

The pancakes were really good, and this time, Edward actually drove me over to my place. He pulled into a free spot in front of my building and killed the engine.

“I really enjoyed the last two days. And thanks again for the paint job. Without your help, I might not have had an office until, well, at least next year.” His body was turned toward me, his right arm on the seat back, his left hand on the wheel.

“I had a lot of fun, too. And there's no need to keep thanking me. I didn't have anything planned for yesterday, anyway.” I turned to face him, as well.

“So … ” He started but didn't finish.

“So, maybe we'll see each other next weekend? Alice, Jasper and I go out dancing almost every Friday.” I was careful not to officially ask him to come. That would have been too close to a date. I wanted to see him, and have fun with him, but I didn't want to date.

“I'll talk to Jasper about it,” he said, neither confirming nor refusing.

“I, uhm, should go. Alice will call me again soon. And if I'm not home, then she'll probably think you're holding me hostage and call the police.” I bit my lip. A part of me was unwilling to leave.

“Then you should go.” He leaned over, planting a quick kiss on my lips, before he captured me in a slightly longer hug. “Have a nice week, then.”

I left his car, and before actually entering my building, I watched Edward's silver Volvo speed off.

 

********POMH********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again. What do you think about Bella's and Edward's mutual liking of Elvis Presley movies? I needed to come up with something unusual they could bond over. Has anyone of you ever seen any of them? I've almost seen them all, but Blue Hawaii is one of my favorites along with another that's going to come up a little later in the story.   
> How about their second night together in a row? Did you see it coming? I know, most of you were hoping for a little smut again but that'll have to wait until next week. Anyone interested in a little teaser? Here it goes:
> 
> … “Tell me what you like, baby!” he demanded, slamming himself in deeper.  
> I moaned again. “I like you inside me.”   
> “What do you want me to do to you? Tell me!” His eyes sparkled wickedly, grinding but not moving, as he waited for my response. … 
> 
> Is that hot or is it hot? I give you another hint, chapter 8 is named “Dirty Talk”. For all of you who are up for a longer teaser, there's going to be one on FicTease tonight. I hope to meet you all again next week. And don't forget to tell me what you think.


	8. Dirty talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Finally, it's Tuesday again, my favorite day of the week. Every review and every new notification about a new follower or favorite puts a wide smile on my face.  
> So, after two chapters without any lemons, it's going to get a little dirty again in this one. But I guess, you already knew, considering the name of the chapter.  
> Before I let you enjoy the smut, I want to shout out a quick thank you to my betas darcysmom and EdwardsMate4ever from PTB and to my pre-reader Vampgirl79. You help me a lot making the story what it is.  
> Now, enjoy another hot encounter between Bella and Edward. See you at the end.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight but I bow my head in adoration to Stephenie Meyer who made all this possible.

Chapter 8 – Dirty talk

 

After another long phone call from Alice, I was glad to finally be able to change my clothes. It was unsettling how quiet my apartment felt after spending almost two days in Edward's company. Usually, I enjoyed being alone in my home, spending my time reading, listening to music or watching TV. But today, I was feeling lonely. The silence around me was, for once, disturbing rather than comfortable.

The sex Friday night was phenomenal. To be honest, it was the best I'd ever had. Although it was the only time we'd done it over the weekend, the time out of the bedroom had given us the chance to bond as friends. It had been fun. I really liked Edward as a person, and I felt oddly at ease around him, although there was a constant erotic tension in the air whenever we were together. The realization that we were becoming quite close, in a way previously unknown to me, made me nervous.

I tried to take my mind off things by reading the book I'd started two weeks ago but hadn't had the time to finish. The hero was described as a very muscular blond man with blue eyes, but every time his name was mentioned, Edward's face popped up in my mind, and my thoughts wandered back to the last few days.

I'd never spent as much time with a man as I spent with Edward this weekend. Being around someone else constantly for several days was always hard for me because I naturally needed my space. Even in my relationships I'd avoided staying over for more than one night at a time. It was easy with Edward, though.

After ten pages, that I'd had to read three times each before registering what I had read, I put the book aside.

Determined not to let a man disturb my peace of mind, I grabbed my keys and drove over to my studio to do some work.

 

****POMH****

 

Tuesday, my small studio was packed with people. There were models, people doing their make-up, people dressing them, some doing the lighting, Eric from the agency, and of course, Angela, my assistant.

The job included shooting ten dresses and ten jeans outfits for women, five suits and five men in casual clothes. We were scheduled to shoot the women today. The male models would be coming in tomorrow.

Everything was going as planned. By the late afternoon I was shooting the next to last dress, a red knee-length dress made of jersey.

“Turn to the left. Okay, that's right.” … _click, click, click._

I felt a weird tingling sensation, which made my hair stand on end. I had no idea what caused it, so I tried to ignore it and continued doing my job.

“Tilt your head a little – yeah, that's it.” … _click, click, click …_

The feeling didn't go away. On the contrary, it increased.

“A little more light from the right, please. Now, Amy, a little less teeth.” … _click, click, click._

“Okay, thanks, we have it.” There was only one more dress to shoot. “Is Penny ready?”

“No,” the make-up artist shouted. “We need five more minutes.”

I turned around to readjust the lighting as a shining pair of green eyes and a crooked smile caught my attention. Raising a brow in surprise, I put down the camera and walked toward the column Edward was leaning against.

“Hey, handsome. How did you get in here?” I asked, tilting my head flirtatiously.

“Hello, beautiful. The door was unlocked,” he answered in a playful tone.

“Uhm, I mean, what are you doing here?”

“I came over to see that everything's all right here. And I have to admit, I was curious to see you work.” With a raised brow, he looked me over from head to toe before he looked into my eyes again.

“And? What do you see?” I demanded expectantly.

“You're really professional.” He leaned in to whisper the next words into my ear. “And to be honest, sexy as hell when you order people around like that.”

“Penny's ready. Shall we do the last round?” Angela asked me, getting me to snap out of my Edward-induced daze.

“Yes, Ang, I'm coming.” I turned to look at Edward again. “Are you staying or leaving?” Again, I felt the inexplicable need to be close to him.

“Staying, for a while.”

“This will take about ten minutes, I guess. Take a seat if you like.” I pointed my finger at the couch that was set up in the back. “Eric must be around here somewhere, too.”

The fact that Edward was watching me made me nervous. But I was a professional, and I would wrap this shoot up in no time. I grabbed my camera and turned toward my set.

“Okay, Penny. Show me how sexy you are.” … _click, click, click._ She was wearing a black dress with spaghetti straps and a wide skirt.

“Ruffle your hair a little. Good.” … _click, click, click._

“Now, turn fast enough to make the skirt fly. And remember to look into the camera. Yeah, that's it.” … _click, click, click._

A few minutes later, we were done. After another fifteen minutes, everybody was leaving.

“Bye, guys. See you tomorrow. Bye, Amy, Penny. See you.” Once everyone had left, I closed the door before I turned to see Edward, standing at my computer, clicking through the pictures.

“Aren't you done working for today?” I asked as I strolled over to him.

“Yes and no. Our webmaster asked me to have my picture taken for the website. He told me you had done the others, and I should come here to ask you to do mine soon.” His expression was apologetic. “These are really good.” He gestured toward the photos on the screen.

“Thank you.” I took a stool and positioned it in front of the white background screen, motioning for him to sit down. He did as he was told.

“Now, let's see how good a model you are. Turn to the right. Not that far. Yes, that's okay.” … _click, click, click._

“Give me one of those smiles,” I prompted.

He raised a brow in confusion. “What smiles?”

“The ones you throw me when you want to get into my pants.”

He laughed heartily before his eyes darkened, and he put that special look on his face.

“Yeah, that's it.” … _click, click, click._

“I'm surprised it's not always there when you're around.” He teased, and I felt my cheeks blush as my lady parts started to tingle.

“Now, let's try the other side. Turn to your left.” He obeyed at once.

“Take your chin down a little. Good boy.” … _click, click, click._

I put the camera away, walking the few steps over to Edward. “You look very reputable. I think we should try it again without the tie.” I loosened the tie around his neck and pulled it over his head. Then I undid the top button of his white shirt. “That's more like it.”

I went back to my former position, taking three pictures before I walked over to him again. “Let me do something with your hair,” I said as I ran both of my hands through the tousled strands. Suddenly, his arms were around my waist. He stretched up from his sitting position as I bent down to gently kiss his lips. I could feel him smile as his lips nudged mine, trying to get them to part and let his tongue in. I smiled back as I finally let him enter. His sweet-tasting tongue took its time to explore my mouth.

After a minute, he broke away, running his lips up and down my neck.

“Mr. Cullen, how shall I get any work done when you distract me like this?” I asked in mock indignation when he loosened his embrace and ran his hands over my hardened nipples, which were clearly showing through my thin, white blouse.

“Work is done. Now it's play time,” he answered in a husky voice as he undid my buttons to bare my bra and plant a kiss in my cleavage. Then he looked back up at me and let my fiery lips capture his.

Breaking away, I looked straight into his lust-darkened eyes while my fingers started to unbuckle his belt, opened the button of his pants and pulled the zipper down. My hand slid into his underpants, making me smile as I touched his massive erection. Pulling down the waistband of the boxer briefs, I bared his full length.

Smirking wickedly, I went down on my knees and took an admiring look at his manhood. I licked him from bottom to top, making him moan deeply. Satisfied with his response, I wrapped my lips around him and let my hungry tongue swirl around the head. He moaned again as one of his hands went to my head while the other gripped the seat of the chair.

Encouraged by his delighted reaction, I slid as much of him into my mouth as possible without choking. As I noticed his breath speed up, I moved my head up and down, loving the feeling of his cock inside my mouth. Every groan that came out of his throat made the pool of wetness between my thighs grow.

Again and again, I let my lips and tongue glide over his length. Every time I reached the head, I let my tongue circle it, moaning with pleasure. When I was sure he was not far from his release, he pulled me away and made me stand up. Crushing his lips on mine, he grabbed my ass and lifted me off the floor, wrapping my legs around his waist, and carried me over to a table in a corner. He sat me down, took off his jacket, my jeans and shoes, and pulled my panties off. I undid the remaining buttons of his shirt and pulled it off him. Admiringly, I let my eyes roam over his beautiful chest.

Before he let his pants fall to the ground, he quickly took out a condom, put the wrapper between his teeth, and ripped it open. I took the rubber out of his hand and rolled it on. Without moving his hungry eyes away from me, he grabbed my hips and positioned himself in a way so that the tip of his erection lightly touched my entrance, which was aching to be filled. Pulling my hips against his and slamming forward at the same time, he impaled me on his rock-hard length.

“Aahhh,” I moaned with pleasure as the pain of need was replaced by his fullness.

“You like that?” he asked in a raspy, aroused voice, accompanied by a forceful thrust.

“Oh, yes,” I answered, enraptured.

“Tell me what you like, baby!” he demanded, driving himself in deeper.

I moaned again. “I like you inside me.”

“What do you want me to do to you? Tell me!” His eyes sparkled wickedly, grinding but not moving, as he waited for my response.

“This,” I answered, desperate for more friction.

“What, _this_? Say it, Bella! I will only do what you tell me to do.” It seemed that he was enjoying my discomfort.

His holding back was pure torture. I had always felt embarrassed when talking dirty, but I knew that was what he wanted to hear. I needed to feel him move inside me badly, so there was nothing left to do but concede.

“Fuck me, Edward, please. I want you to fuck me hard.” He let out an amused chuckle, obeying at once, stabbing me roughly, one, two, three, four times.

“Like that? Is that how you want me to fuck you, baby?” He didn't stop moving as he invited me to tell him what I needed.

“Your cock feels so good. I want you to fuck me deeper — and faster,” I choked out in between pants.

His pace picked up immediately as he threw my legs over his shoulders.

“Ahhh, oh fuck, yes.” I was moaning like a porn star, unable to talk anymore.

“Oh, baby, your pussy's so fucking tight. And you're so wet. I love the way you're always ready for me.” He breathed heavily, thrusting even harder.

All of a sudden, he hit a spot that had never been touched before, making hot shivers run over my body. “Ohhhhhhhh, oh, fuck,” I panted as he hit it again and again, until everything inside me came undone and a high-pitched “Aaahhhhhhh” erupted from my throat while my back arched upward. My walls gripped his cock hard and made him come with me, panting erratically.

“Wow,” was the first thing I said as my breathing slowly began to steady.

“No kidding!” Edward agreed, his eyes glowing with satisfaction.

I started to assemble my clothes and got dressed as he did the same.

“Does that happen a lot when you take a man's picture?” He smirked.

“No, not a lot. Sometimes,” I lied, mocking him. His eyes narrowed. “Okay, never before.”

Edward came over to me and gave me a deep, passionate kiss. “I want you to know that this was special for me, too.” His eyes bore into mine. “What do we do now?”

Although I had a lot of ideas what I wanted to do with him, I had to postpone them.

“Actually, I'm meeting Alice for dinner, and I think I'm already running late. I have to go.” I was really disappointed that I had to end our evening together so abruptly.

“Then you should go. I think we'll see each other on Friday. Jasper mentioned something about visiting his favorite club.” He raised his brow in anticipation.

“We're going to The Dark Room on Friday. You really should come.” The only way I would be able to leave him now was if I knew I'd see him again on Friday.

“I will,” he said as I turned off the lights and locked the door behind us.

Both our cars were parked in front of the studio. Edward turned to face me again, bending down to give me one last searing kiss. “See you on Friday,” he said as he turned and walked to his Volvo.

 

********POMH********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again. Is it only me or is it hot in here? I kind of popped my dirty talking cherry with this chapter. It wasn't easy for me but I had to try it because I love reading an Edward with a dirty mouth. I hope you liked it.   
> The next three chapters were initially one, but I had to break them up into three due to the length of it. They all happen during the same night. Here's a little preview for Chapter 9 - Resistance
> 
> … “Why, Bella? Why did you let that loser hit on you and touch you like that?” Edward asked in a harsh voice. … 
> 
> Hmmm, what did Bella do? Why did she do it? I promise you'll learn more about that next Tuesday. For all of you who don't want to wait that long, there will be a longer teaser on Ficcentral on Wednesday and on TwiFicZone on Sunday. Until then, please leave me your thoughts. CU


	9. Resistance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello to all of my old and new readers. There's so many more of you since Redtini was so nice to rec my story in her A/N's. I'm really excited that so many of you seem to enjoy what my twisted brain has come up with over the last couple of months.  
> Now on to the chapter. I'm a afraid that some of you will feel the need to slap Bella in the face at some point during this. What I ask of you is to keep an open mind because she has her reasons for being the way she is, and I promise you'll learn about the reasons soon.  
> Before I can let you read the chapterthough, I need to give credit to the people who were essential in making it what it is. Thanks a lot to my betas evelyn-shaye and EdwardsMate4ever from PTB. They challenged me to take it a lot further and going into more detail than there was in my original draft. I also want to thank my pre-readers Vampgirl79 and Thepurplebookworm for encouraging me and assuring me that what I'm writing is worth reading.  
> So, now it's time to unveil the new chapter. Enjoy. See you at the bottom.
> 
> Disclaimer: Twilight is Stephenie Meyer's and only hers. I'm just so glad she gave me and many others a way to unleash our imagination.

Chapter 9 – Resistance

 

Tapping her fingertips on the tabletop in an impatient manner, Alice was waiting for me at the restaurant. I should have met her there ten minutes ago.

“Hi, Alice. Sorry, I'm late,” I apologized, still a little out of breath from hurrying to get there. We hugged each other hello.

“Hey, Bella. You look like you've been running all the way here. Were there problems with the shoot?” She sounded concerned, and her brows were furrowed as we sat down.

I took a sip from the glass of wine Alice had already ordered for me.

“No, everything went well. I just had to work a little overtime. Edward came over and needed a picture for the company website,” I said casually while I studied the menu.

“Uh-huh.” She smiled at me knowingly. “That explains why you're looking a bit worse for wear. Seeing the look on your face, it must have been worth making me wait.” As usual, when Edward's name came up, she was practically bouncing with excitement.

“Alice, please.” I hid in my menu, embarrassed by her ability to read me like that.

“Come on, I just want you to be happy. And I've never seen you as happy as you are right now, at least not for about ten years.” She said the last part very quietly — almost as if she were talking to herself.

“It's not like that. We have fun together, and we like to hang out, but there's nothing romantic about it.” I frowned slightly, unnerved by her constant insinuations.

Fortunately, the waitress came and interrupted us to take our order. Alice continued as soon as the waitress was out of earshot.

“Maybe on your side, but what about him?” I sighed, having hoped that Alice would drop the matter after the break in our conversation.

“Do you know about Tanya?” I asked tentatively, unsure of how much Jasper knew and had shared with her.

“Tanya? I'm not sure. I know Edward had a long-term girlfriend, and they broke up,” she offered. “Was that her?” She seemed unsure of where I was going with that.

“Yes. They were together for five years, and he'd wanted to marry her before he found out that she'd been cheating on him from the start.” Maybe my voice sounded a little hard, but I was angry at the woman I didn't know for hurting him like that.

“Oh my, that's bad.” Alice's tone was sad and her usual sunny smile had turned into a frown. She appeared to be really sorry for Edward.

“He kicked her out and never saw her again. Do you know how long ago they split?” That question had been on my mind since he told me his story. I didn't dare to ask him, though, afraid I would appear to be nosy.

“About one-and-a-half years ago, I think. Why are you asking?” Alice quirked her eyebrow in confusion.

“He told me he's been drinking extensively and bed-hopping ever since. So you see, no feelings on his end, either.” Satisfied that I had proven my point, I took a sip of wine and sat back.

“But what you're forgetting is that he doesn't drink that much anymore, and at the moment, he's only hopping through _your_ bed, figuratively speaking.” She smiled at me smugly.

“I made it clear that I'm not doing relationships, and he didn't object. End of story.” I folded my arms in front of my chest, staring at her defiantly.

“We'll see,” she answered in a know-it-all voice, sounding too confident for my taste, before changing the subject.

The rest of the evening was nice; and at least for a while, it took my mind off Edward. Alice told me about the new product line she had ordered for the department store she worked for as chief purchase manager. She always knew about the latest fashion and had a very big closet at home, as well.

We talked a bit about our plans for the holidays that were soon to come, and after dessert, we said good-bye and drove home.

After we had left the uncomfortable discussion of my friendship with Edward behind us, the evening with Alice had been fun and relaxing. With her positive attitude she always managed to make me look at things a little more openly myself. I was very grateful to have a friend like her who, although she could be a real pain in the ass, always had my back.

 

****POMH****

 

“Two martinis and two beers, please,” Jasper ordered. The four of us were standing at the bar in TheDark Room. The music was good, as always, and we'd already had two rounds of drinks.

Although Edward had only kissed my cheek saying hello, neither of us missed a chance to touch each other _coincidentally_.

Alice and Jasper were arguing about the new piece of furniture she had bought without asking his opinion first. I hated to see them fight, but when they eventually made up, I always felt jealous of the connection the two of them shared.

“Do you have any plans for tomorrow night?” Edward asked me out of the blue.

“Do you have another room to paint? Or do you still need help unpacking?” I teased, giving him a knowing smile.

“Nothing like that. Someone told me about a restaurant I should check out, and I don't want to go alone. Would you like to join me?” He said it casually, but my heart started to race, and my hands became clammy.

There it was; he was officially asking me out. My mouth suddenly felt dry, my throat constricted, and I had trouble breathing. I couldn't go on a date with him.

I didn't want to hurt him by rejecting his invitation, but I couldn't go with him, either. We would be heading in the wrong direction if I did. It would be misleading him to let him think I wanted us to be a couple when I couldn't want that.

“Bella? I asked you something,” he pressed.

“I … I think I have something to do tomorrow. Sorry.”

Afraid to see the disappointment in his eyes, I turned to find out how our drinks were coming. Suddenly, there was an awkward silence between us. It felt like a stab in my gut to know that I had hurt Edward, but I was sure it would be better in the long run. If I didn't let him believe that there was a chance for us becoming a couple, then maybe we could go on being friends. And I definitely wanted that.

He turned to talk to Jasper and Alice for a while, which would have given me the opportunity to calm down, but it didn't work. A few minutes later, a tall, blond guy, roughly my age, came over and stopped in front of me. “Would you like to dance?” he asked with a suggestive grin.

“Sure,” I answered, a fake smile plastered on my face. His attention was exactly what I needed right now, as I was feeling totally shitty for the damage I'd done only minutes before. And I needed to get away from Edward, to show him again that we were not together and never would be.

The guy grabbed my hand, and I followed him to the dance floor. When I turned back to catch a glimpse at my friends, I found three pairs of astounded eyes. I looked away at once, starting to dance with the blond guy, who introduced himself as Mike.

For some time, we moved to the rhythm, facing each other. He was not a good dancer — not like Edward. I immediately pushed that thought away. When the song changed, he came closer, dancing around until he was standing behind me. I felt him move in, gyrating his hips and forcing mine to do so, as well. I played along, even though I wasn't really into it. I felt weirdly uncomfortable but tried not to let it show. The whole time, I could sense Edward's eyes on me, although I worked hard not to let my gaze stray in his direction.

Then Mike put his hands on my hips as he began to kiss my neck. He rolled his hips, makingsure I felt his erection. I closed my eyes in discomfort. I didn't like any of it, but I let him be. I had to prove a point.

I avoided letting him kiss my lips, although, on a normal night, I might actually have gone home with him. Tonight, I felt like throwing up at the thought of his tongue in my mouth.

When the music changed again, his hands started to slowly move up my sides. Suddenly, just before Mike could reach my breasts, a menacing voice made him stop dead in his tracks.

“Get the fuck off her!” A strong hand grabbed my wrist, and a furious Edward dragged me with him, away from the dance floor, past the restrooms, until we were outside. When we were standing in the pouring Seattle rain, he let go of me and whirled around, his angry, green eyes burning into mine.

“What do you think you're doing? You have no right to drag me out here!” I shouted at him.

Without another word, he took hold of my wrist again and pulled me with him to the parking lot, opening the back door of his Volvo.

“Get in the car,” he commanded as he gestured toward the back seat.

“What? You want to fuck? Now? Here?” I asked, bewildered. Not that I would mind. I was mad at him, but his anger caused my traitorous body to crave his rough touch all over my skin.

“If I wanted sex with you, I wouldn't care about the time and place, but no. I want to talk to you, and standing out here, we'll be soaking wet in no time. So, get inside.” His stare was intense, while his words sounded calm. But I could tell that it took him a lot of effort.

I glared at him in frustration. Not only was he ordering me around, but he was basically rejecting me right now. Feeling the rain saturating my hair, I caved in and got in the backseat. He sat down beside me then closed the door.

After a long moment of heavy, awkward silence, he started to talk.

“Why, Bella? Why did you let that loser hit on you and touch you like that?” he asked in a harsh voice.

I was still angry because of the way he dragged me out like a naughty child. So I just continued to stare at him instead of answering his question.

“Everyone could see that you were not into him. Fuck, Bella, why did you let him grope you, then?” He pressed for an answer. I didn't know if his tone held worry or jealousy.

“Because that's what I do. And it's none of your business,” I snapped at him.

“What do you mean, _that's what you do_?” He looked appalled now.

“It's the only thing I know how to do. I hook up with random guys and go home with them,” I confessed. My voice was defeated and hurt. As I looked down at my hands, I realized that my fury was suddenly gone.

“What happened to you, Bella?” Edward's tone was soft now as he moved closer to me.

Again, I didn't answer him. I had never told anyone other than Alice about the worst night — or rather nights — of my life. I never wanted to talk about it again. My breathing was loud in the silence of the car.

“Please, Bella, tell me what made you become like this,” he begged me in a tender voice. He probably expected I wouldn't answer him.

Another minute passed as I deliberated what to tell him. Then I closed my eyes and started to talk.

“Only Alice and Jasper know this.” I took three deep breaths while my fingers nervously fidgeted with the hem of my skirt. “I was kind of a late bloomer, you know? I was still a virgin at nineteen.”

As I started telling him my story, my mind went back to the summer eight years ago …

 

********POMH********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More than ever I want to know what you think. Did you want to punch Bella for dancing with Mike while Edward was watching? Or do you think Edward overstepped by dragging her out and demanding an explanation? I promise that you'll understand Bella a lot more after reading the next chapter. The whole thing is going to be a flashback, so, I know you'll be disappointed, but there will be no Edward in it. To give you something to look forward to though, there's going to be all that more Edward in chapter 11. I think I rambled on enough, so here's the usual teaser:
> 
> … For a moment, I wondered whether I should tell Jacob I was a virgin or not, but I decided to keep it to myself, unwilling to ruin the mood. … 
> 
> Yes, the whole Jacob mystery will be cleared up next week. Can't wait to hear your thoughts. See you all next week.


	10. A walk down memory lane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello to all of you! It's great that you're back. You probably all want to know what happened between Bella and Jacob. I promise you will.  
> Before anything else, I was totally flattered to learn that POMH is in a poll for five fics that move you most over at The Lemonade Stand. I'd ask all of you who love this story to go over there and vote for it. I don't expect to win, but I feel really honored that someone thought of my little fic. Here's the link:
> 
> http://tehlemonadestand.blogspot.de/?zx=42b1839499dc2c85
> 
> Now a little info about the chapter. In my first draft of the story, the Jacob-flashback was part of chapter 1 where Bella goes through the items in the box. Later, I thought that it was boring if I put all my cards on the table in the first chapter. So I decided to put it here instead of Bella actually telling Edward the story in a short summary. I think the way it is now works much better than the original idea.  
> I have to warn you that there will be no Edward in this chapter because it's nothing but a long flashback to a time when Bella didn't know him. For all of you who are sensitive to lemons including pairings other than Bella and Edward, you should be warned ahead that there are going to be intimate moments between Bella and Jacob. I normally don't like them either, but since Bella's not cheating on Edward and this happened way before the two of them even met, I needed to write them.  
> Thanks a lot to my betas EdwardsMate4ever and evelyn-shaye from PTB for helping me polish this chapter to make it shine for you. They're doing a great job. I also want to thank my prereaders Vampgirl79 and Thepurplebookworm for being my constant supporters.  
> This was a lot, but I felt like I had to say it. So, I'll let you learn about Bella's past now. See you at the end.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight (what a surprise). It's all Stephenie's, and I love her for it.
> 
> ******POMH******

Chapter 10 – A walk down memory lane

 

_**flashback**_

… I had known Jacob Black almost my entire life. His father, Billy, and my father, Charlie, had been best friends since their childhood days. He was four years older than me, but despite the age difference, we used to play together when we were children. He always treated me like a little sister — teased me, protected me, and sometimes, taught me things only a big brother would teach you.

As I entered puberty, my feelings for Jake changed. I began to notice the play of his muscles when he moved, his husky voice made my stomach flutter, and his smile awakened a need in me that had been dormant before. I no longer saw him as my brother when I slowly but thoroughly fell in love with him. The whole time, he seemed to be oblivious to the way I felt about him.

When I was fifteen, he left La Push to go to college in New York. He went there on a scholarship, and because he couldn't afford it, he didn't visit Washington for all four years. But we stayed in contact, writing emails to each other at least once every few weeks.

After graduation, and before he started a job at a big bank in New York, he came home on a one-week visit, bringing Jasper, a college friend of his, along. The second our eyes met again, everything was different. Jacob was still himself — well, a more mature version of himself — but the way he treated me had changed. Several times, I caught him staring at me when he thought I didn't notice. He acted quite insecure around me — sometimes, he even stammered instead of just speaking his mind. I didn't know what it all meant, but I sensed that things had changed.

My best friend, Alice, who heavily flirted with Jasper all the time, was sure Jacob had a crush on me. I didn't know what to think. If she was right, then he didn't act on it.

However Jacob felt, the four of us spent a lot of time together that week. Then, the evening before the boys were to leave again, Jacob insisted on inviting me to dinner while Alice and Jasper were going to see a movie in Port Angeles. He didn't say a word about that dinner being a date, but I was excited to spend the evening alone with him.

Charlie and Sue were out of town on a fishing trip for two days, and Jake came over to pick me up. He was a little early, so I wasn't dressed yet. When I opened the door, wearing only a bathrobe, his eyes popped wide open, and his jaw dropped.

“Hey, Jake. You're early. I'm not ready yet.” I greeted him with a smile, inwardly pleased that he seemed to be affected by my appearance, and led him to the living room.

“Hi, Bells. No problem. Just take your time. I'll wait here.” He had regained his composure as he sat down on the couch.

“Would you like something to drink while you're waiting? There's beer and soda in the fridge. Please, help yourself to whatever you like. I'll be upstairs for a few minutes.”

After fulfilling my duties as a hostess, I went upstairs to get dressed. As soon as I was in my room, I removed the robe and walked over to the short, black jersey-dress that was on the hanger, dangling from the nob of my closet. I took it and slipped into the narrow-cut garment.

Standing in front of the mirror, I was feeling sexy and confident. As I fumbled with the zipper on the back, my hair seemed to get caught in it when it was about halfway up. I wasn't able to either zip or unzip it, considering that I couldn't see what I was doing.

“Shit, shit, shit,” I cursed in frustration.

“Is everything okay up there?” Jake's worried voice asked from the foot of the stairs.

“Yes … no. Could you come up for a second, please? I think I need some help.”

Although Charlie generally didn't allow boys in my room, the rule had never applied to Jacob. He had been up there dozens of times before.

I heard his footsteps on the stairs and in the hall before I could see him in the mirror, halting at the door. Standing there, looking at me with dark eyes and an expression I didn't understand, he took three deep breaths before he slowly walked over to me.

I tried to explain what the problem was. “Look, my stupid hair got caught in the zipper, and I can't untangle it myself.”

Without a word, he threw the rest of my long, brown hair over my left shoulder and started to pull the zipper down. After a few cautious tugs, it gave way. But instead of pulling the zipper back up, when it was free, he looked into the mirror for a second, meeting my eyes, before he lowered his head to plant a kiss on my neck.

“You're so beautiful,” he whispered as he let his mouth move up and down from my ear to my shoulder, causing me to shiver with excitement.

My eyes closed as he kissed my ear, exhaling his warm breath over my sensitive skin. His hands slid under the straps of my dress, removing them from my shoulders and letting the garment fall to the floor.

My body was rigid. This was totally new to me. I was nineteen and more or less inexperienced. I had kissed a handful of boys, but that was it. I'd been in love with Jacob for as long as I could remember, and because of that, I had been unable to be intimate — either emotionally or physically — with anyone else.

All the more, I couldn't believe he was here with me; his soft lips kissing me, his strong hands touching me. He couldn't be in love with me despite his recently strange behavior. He just couldn't. He was beautiful with his russet skin and his perfectly defined body, while I considered myself plain and boring.

But what I found in his eyes when I turned around to look at him said something else. There was warmth and an emotion I could only interpret as love.

I knew where this was leading as he bent down to kiss my lips. At first, it was just a sweet kiss that made me feel all warm inside, but then his lips started to move more urgently against mine, and when he opened his mouth, his tongue met mine with an eagerness I had never experienced before. At the same time, his smooth hands started to move up and down my back.

“Oh Bella, you feel so good,” he whispered into my mouth.

My hands had a mind of their own, gripping Jake's short black hair on the back of his head, as my own demanding mouth challenged his.

A moment later, he scooped me up in his arms and carried me over to the bed, setting me down in the center, as he pulled his shirt over his head. I watched him unbuckle his belt and remove his jeans, shoes and socks, while at the sight of his almost naked body, some strange new desire was building inside me.

So it was really going to happen. I had always dreamed about my first time being with Jacob, but not in my wildest dreams would I have considered it possible. There were a thousand butterflies fluttering wildly in my stomach .

He climbed onto the bed, and a second later, we were both kneeling in front of each other, kissing passionately, locked in a tight embrace. Without me noticing it, he unhooked my bra and took it off. As soon as it was out of the way, he broke our heated lip-lock and started to move his lips down to find my nipple. He kissed it once before he opened his mouth to nibble it gently and suck it in turn. I moaned quietly, lowering myself to a horizontal position. Overpowered by the new sensations Jake's mouth created on the one and his hand caused on the other side, I closed my eyes and surrendered to the feeling.

His hands then moved further down, stripping me of my panties. When the last piece of fabric was out of the way, he started to pay attention to the wetness between my thighs, rubbing my most sensitive spot. A deep moan escaped my lips as the man I'd loved for so long pleasured me with his fingers. Never before had anyone seen me naked, let alone touched me intimately. Although I was feeling a little self-conscious, I enjoyed being close to Jacob. It didn't take long until I wasn't able to keep my ecstasy locked up inside me anymore. I panted heavily as my back arched off the bed, and I came, for the first time at the hands of someone other than myself.

Jacob smiled when his mouth left my breast, and his face was hovering over mine. Hungrily, he attacked my lips with his as he positioned himself on top of me, his hips between my parted legs.

For a moment, I wondered whether I should tell him I was a virgin or not, but I decided to keep it to myself, unwilling to ruin the mood.

Although there were neither candles, nor did we have music around us, the look in his eyes and everything else seemed utterly romantic to me. He was the man of my dreams, and he was about to make love to me. I needed nothing else to make this moment perfect.

Without waiting any longer, he slowly slid himself inside me and with one swift thrust he took my innocence away. His lips on mine muffled the sound of my short cry of pain.

He broke away to quickly look into my eyes. When he saw me nod my head, he planted two innocent kisses on my lips before he started to move again. His hardness inside me felt amazing, as if we belonged together like that.

Fiercely, he kissed me again, caressing my tongue with his. A few minutes later, his breathing sped up and low moans rumbled in his chest. Then I felt him release inside me. After that, he kind of collapsed on top of me. We stayed that way for a few moments before he rolled to the side to take his weight off me.

He was holding me in his arms when he finally said, “I'm sorry. I didn't want to attack you so unexpectedly.”

When I looked up, I saw that his face was bright with an adorable grin.

I wasn't able to hold back my own smile. “No problem. You can attack me like that any time you want.”

He held me close while he moved his hand up and down my arm, and I fell asleep immediately, exhausted from the unforeseen experience.

 

****POMH****

 

An hour later, I was woken by the sounds of Jacob getting dressed. Reluctantly, I opened my eyes, and what I saw made my stomach flutter with unease.

He was almost completely dressed. Looking at his face, I noticed that his brows were furrowed, and his eyes were squeezed shut with what I could only think of as sorrow or pain.

“Jake, what is it?” I choked out in a toneless voice.

His eyes flew open, and he looked at me with regret while his hand ran through his hair.

“This,” he gestured toward me and the bed, “you, me … this was a big mistake. It should never have happened.”

Suddenly, I felt numb, unable to understand what was happening. Hadn't we both been happily close just a short while ago? What could have happened to make him run away like that?

“Jake, I don't get it.” I was shaking my head in bewilderment.

“I'm sorry, Bella. This is wrong. I shouldn't even have come here, let alone upstairs. I don't want to hurt you, but I have to go. Goodbye.” He shot me an apologetic look before he was out the door. A few seconds later, I heard the front door shut with a bang. I was left miserably alone, unable to understand what had gone wrong.

 

****POMH****

 

Realizing that it had been stupid to sleep with a man without even thinking about using a condom, I was relieved when my period arrived on time about a week later.

I never heard a word from Jacob after he left, and I didn't dare to contact him either. Every now and then, Billy had news about his son: Jake's job, his apartment, any insignificant detail of his life in the big city. Each time his name was mentioned, it felt like a stab in my heart. No matter how much time passed, I never came up with any plausible reason for his behavior that one night.

After the summer, Alice and I went back to our little apartment in Seattle to attend our sophomore year at UW.

She and Jasper stayed in close contact, and the summer between our sophomore and junior year, she persuaded me to take a trip to New York with her. Jasper, who was working in an advertising agency, showed us around town and took us to museums and clubs. Although he and Jacob were still friends, we never met him nor did we really talk about him. Of course, Jasper knew what had happened between us.

The night before we were to fly back to Washington, Alice and Jasper pressured me to go see Jacob, to give him a chance to explain, to maybe save our friendship.

My heart was hammering frantically in my chest as I stood in front of his apartment, too afraid to knock. Several times, I walked back to the elevator to leave, only to return to his door again. When I was about to leave once and for all, the door flew open. Jake was about to storm out, probably running late to pick up a date. He froze the second he spotted me standing there.

“Bella,” he whispered, his eyes wide with shock. “What are you doing here?”

I had to clear my throat before I could answer. Now that I was standing in front of him again, a wave of suppressed emotions crashed down on me. I wasn't sure that trying to talk things through had been the best idea. “Alice and I are in town this week, and she and Jasper convinced me to come see you.” I didn't know what else to say. He seemed to be feeling as uncomfortable as I was in this awkward situation.

“Well, uhm, come on in.” He fully opened the door to invite me inside.

After a short hesitation, I entered, and when he had closed the door, I followed him to the living room.

“Please, sit,” he said, gesturing toward the couch. “Would you like something to drink?”

The situation was completely surreal. We had known each other all our lives and now we weren't even able to make small talk.

“Water would be nice. Thanks,” I answered, keeping my eyes glued to my hands.

He vanished to what I guessed was the kitchen, only to reappear a short time later, placing the glass on the table in front of me, and sit down at the other end of the sofa.

“How are you? How's college?” He tried to start a conversation.

“Fine, just fine.” I paused, wondering how to phrase what had been on my mind all along.

“Bells, I want to apologize again. For last year, you know? It wasn't right to take advantage of you like that. I didn't want to hurt you. I'm so sorry,” he blurted out, his eyes staring into mine.

“Jake, I still don't get it. All this time, I've been wondering what it was that I did wrong, that made you run away like that. But I just have no idea.” I spoke calmly, trying not to show the confusion and frustration I was feeling.

“It's nothing you did. It's me. You know, when I saw you again last year, I was totally overwhelmed to find that you weren't the little girl I left back home. You had become a woman, a beautiful woman. I was no longer able to see you as my little sister. Suddenly, I was physically attracted to you. I couldn't handle that. I didn't plan to sleep with you. I didn't want to risk our friendship. You mean so much to me.” He sounded sincere, but his words didn't hurt any less.

“I've been in love with you since long before that night. Did you know that?” I whispered sadly. My eyes were again fixed on my hands in my lap, unable to look into his eyes.

“I suspected it. All the more, it was wrong. But when I saw you standing in your room, half-dressed, trying to seduce me with that act you put on, I wasn't able to resist … “

“Wait, wait, wait, wait.” I rose to my feet, too agitated at his accusations to remain seated. My eyes were burning into his. “That _act_ I put on? Jake, there was no _act._ I was a virgin, for crying out loud. I didn't plan any of that.” I felt tears pool up in my eyes, but I tried to swallow them back.

“I know that. And I'm sorry for what happened. But the way you stood there, waiting for me, you must have known what that would do to me, to any guy.” He held his hands up in a defensive gesture in an attempt to calm me down.

Furiously shaking my head, I headed for the door to escape this nightmare. I had hoped for us to talk things through and make up, be friends again. But he was implying that I'd staged the whole thing.

As I reached for the doorknob, Jacob's big hand seized mine. I turned around angrily, surprised to find his face only an inch away from mine. “Bella, don't go. I didn't want … dammit, Bella, I love you, too.” With those words, his lips attacked mine, his tongue capturing my mouth. Suddenly, our bodies were flush with each other, my back against the door. 

I made a feeble attempt to push him away, confused by his sudden change of heart. The more I pushed, the harder he pulled me to him. His mouth on mine and his arms around me made me give up my resistance. I stopped fighting and surrendered to my own need to be close to him. 

That moment, I realized what had happened. He'd said that he loved me. My head was spinning with joy, and my body was aching for him.

His hands were everywhere, moving up and down the upper part of my body, pulling my shirt over my head as he shoved me towards a door. Once inside his bedroom, he hurried me to the bed as I fumbled to get him out of his button-down shirt.

My bra was off, and my skirt was on the floor in the blink of an eye. Urging me to lie down on the bed, he quickly removed his pants and joined me on the mattress. In a rush, he pulled down my panties and parted my legs. He eyed my privates for a second before attacking my throbbing clit with his fiery tongue. I squirmed at the unexpected sensation, but his strong hands were holding me firmly in place.

His assault was urgent, and it didn't take long until I was totally oblivious to my surroundings, moaning with the most exquisite pleasure.

After my back arched in ecstasy, Jacob finally let go of my legs. A second later, his face was close to mine again, his zealous tongue savoring my mouth.

Before too long, he moved his length inside me in one swift thrust. I responded eagerly, pushing my hips against him, granting him deeper access. We moved together, desperately clinging to each other.

“Oh Bella, Bella, Bella. I want you so much,” he whispered, letting his warm breath fan over my ear. Again and again, he pushed into me, filling the hole that had been in my heart for the last year. He was with me. We were joined in the most intimate way humanly possible. He was mine.

“Jake, I'm yours. I love you.” His hips moved faster, one, two, three more times until he finally came with a long, deep groan.

His eyes didn't meet mine as he was lying on top of me, trying to control his erratic breathing. I lay there, covered by Jake's warm, heavy body, totally blissful because we were together.

With another different sounding moan, he lifted his weight off me and rolled to his back. I propped myself up on my elbow to look at his face, and what I saw there pulled the rug out from under me. His expression was pained, his brown eyes staring at the ceiling, aghast. Something was utterly wrong with that picture. A man who had just made love to a woman shouldn't be looking like that.

He swallowed once before he opened his mouth to speak. “Bella.” In the two short syllables, I could hear that my world was about to be crushed once again. “This was a mistake. I should have let you leave. I should have let you go back to your own life and forget about me.” He sounded sad and kind of torn.

“Jake, what are you saying to me? This was no mistake. We both wanted it. It felt right.” I was begging him to not let me down again. But his next words shattered all my hopes.

“Bella, I have a girlfriend.”

I was feeling the all too familiar feeling of my wind being knocked out of me. Everything was spinning. I sat up, looking down at my wringing hands.

“But, you said that you loved me,” I insisted in a small voice.

“I do.” It was obvious that it wasn't easy for him to say this, but he continued anyway. “I'm not boyfriend material, not for you, anyway. You deserve better.”

My voice was sounding so desperate that I didn't recognize it. “But you love _me_! You cannot be with her if you don't love her.”

“It doesn't matter. I like her, we're a good match. And her father is my boss. In fact, she's waiting for me right now.” He sounded sad but determined. “I'm not good for you. I would only hurt you if we were together. You'd better leave.”

He was hurting me now, practically throwing me out of his apartment. I slipped out of the bed and hurried to get dressed, avoiding his gaze. As the pain inside me grew, anger at him rose, as well. When I was fully dressed, I turned to look at him again.

“So, Jake, is that what I am to you? A quick fuck? A cheap whore you throw out when you're done with her?” I had never heard myself sound so bitter. At the same time, the tears that had blurred my vision brimmed over. For a second, his eyes widened with shock, then they turned sad again.

“Never think that. You have to believe me that I never wanted to hurt you.” He was pleading with me to understand, but I couldn't.

“But you have, big time.” I went to the bedroom door before I halted and turned around to look at him one last time. “Have a nice life, Jacob.” With those words, I left his apartment.

I managed to pull myself together for the taxi ride and a few words with the receptionist in our hotel, until I was in our room and had the peace and quiet to completely fall apart.

Just after midnight, Alice came back and tried to pick up what was left of me. The next morning, we left New York and went back home.

I was painfully aware that, again, Jake and I didn't use a condom. When my monthly flow finally arrived, I decided I never wanted to see or hear of Jacob Black ever again. …

_**End flashback**_

 

********POMH********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So now you know. *sigh* What do you think? Can some of you understand Bella's constant need to get away from her flavor of the night as soon as possible? Do you see why she can't let Edward come close just like that? She's never had a real relationship — one where she's in love with a guy. The whole thing with Edward is totally new to her.  
> And what's going to happen next week? How will Edward react to Bella's revelation? Here's a little teaser:
> 
> … In this position, every new intrusion knocked the breath out of me. He took me forcefully — all gentleness he usually displayed was gone. But I didn't miss it. …
> 
> Who is taking her forcefully? Okay, I'll give a little spoiler and tell you it's Edward, and he's totally hot in the next chapter. It's one of my favorites by the way. I'm sure, all of you who like their Edward a little possessive, will love it, too. So, see you next Tuesday.


	11. Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi and welcome back. I can't believe how many more followers the story gained over the last week. I'm sure I have to thank Redtini and Nicffwhisperer for that who rec'd my story at The Lemonade Stand. Although I'm currently last in the poll, I'm really honored to have my story mentioned there at all. Maybe some of you still like to vote, so here's the link
> 
> http://tehlemonadestand.blogspot.de/?zx=48c7037225c0197b
> 
> Thanks for all the great reviews I got for the last chapter. It's interesting how differently you people see what happened between Bella and Jacob. But it's great that you all seem to be very passionate about it.   
> This chapter today is one of my favorites. You'll finally learn how Edward reacts to Bella's revelations. I'll only say that my betas were very surprised by what he did ;).   
> Before I'll let you read, I want to shout out a loud “Thank you” to my wonderful betas EdwardsMate4ever and evelyn-shaye from PTB. They made lots of great suggestions that made this chapter a lot more special. I also want to thank my prereaders Vampgirl79 and Thepurplebookworm for their constant love and support. You're such great friends.  
> Now it's time to get back to Edward and Bella. See you at the bottom.
> 
> Disclaimer: Twilight's not mine. Thank you, Stephenie Meyer, for creating a world we all love so much.

Chapter 11 – Deal

 

… “I never heard a word from Jacob ever again.” My eyes were still fixed on my hands resting in my lap.

I'd only told Edward the essentials and left out most of the details. He was quiet the whole time, but I could feel his sympathetic green eyes locked on my face. When I was done telling him my story, he reached out his hand toward mine but pulled back before he touched me.

“I'm sorry. That's terrible,” he said, his low tone heavy with compassion. “What an asshole.” His voice was suddenly enraged. From the corner of my eye, I could see his fists clench in anger before he slowly opened them again. “Now I get why you needed to know about Tanya.”

“I don't want to be involved in cheating ever again.” I deeply breathed in and out once more. “I haven't been able to trust a guy ever since. That's why my relationships never worked out.” I paused a moment to come up with the right words to make him understand. “My first time was a one-night stand. The second time was as well, although not technically. Over the years, I found that one-night stands with strangers every now and then were the best way to handle my needs.” I still didn't look him in the eye. “I can't let a man get close enough to hurt me ever again.” The last words came out as a barely audible whisper.

“So, when I asked you to go to dinner with me … “

Edward started, but I finished the sentence. “… I panicked. I can't go on a date with you.”

His hand reached out, and this time, it cupped my chin, forcing me to look at him.

“Bella, I understand. I promise you, I won't hurt you. I'm your friend. And I'm really glad you told me.” His thumb started to gently stroke my cheekbone. “Please, Bella, go out with me tomorrow night, as friends — just friends.”

When I didn't answer, he smiled his beautiful, crooked smile. “Hey, it's only dinner. I'm not proposing marriage to you,” he said as softly as possible.

After searching his eyes for something that would justify turning him down, but not finding anything, I finally whispered, “Okay.”

His smile widened, and his eyes twinkled as he pulled me close and hugged me tenderly. Although I didn't want to admit it then, deep down I was falling hard for this man.

“Do you want to go back inside, or do you want me to take you somewhere else?” Edward asked when he eventually let go of me.

“I'm not in the mood to dance anymore. And I wouldn't want to run into Mike again. Could you take me home, please?”

 

****POMH****

 

We didn't talk during the short drive over to my place. Each of us seemed to be occupied with our own thoughts. After a few minutes, Edward stopped the car in a free spot across the street from my apartment building.

When I'd been done spilling my guts to him earlier, I'd felt the overwhelming need to get home where I was safe and secure. Now that I was about to leave the car and the man inside it, I wasn't so sure anymore that I wanted to be alone. All of a sudden, I feared the quiet, empty place that was awaiting me. Without giving myself time to think it through and probably change my mind, I opened my mouth to say the words I never thought I'd say to a man.

“It's still kind of early, and I feel like I need a drink. Would you care to come in? I don't like to drink alone.” I turned to look at him and found him smiling.

“Of course, I'll come in.”

As soon as we were inside, I poured two glasses of whiskey, handing one to Edward.

“My place is much smaller than yours. And much less stylish.” I looked around insecurely. He was the first man ever to see my apartment. It was strange to let someone in on something so private.

“That doesn't matter. It reflects you. It's _your_ home.”

He looked around, taking in the living room with the small kitchen in the corner, the pale yellow walls with the poster-size photographs of the Olympic rainforest, the small dining table, my giant wall of shelves holding all my favorite books and records, and my beloved gray sofa in the center of the room.

I anxiously watched him to read his reaction at the selection of stuff I surrounded myself with. Apart from my less exquisite choice of furniture, my taste in books and music and the decision to display my collection as a sign of its importance to me, actually matched his own.

“It's nice,” he stated when his eyes came back to me, a big smile playing on his lips.

“You want a tour?” I asked, gesturing toward the two doors leading to the bathroom and the bedroom.

“Yeah, show me around.”

I opened the first door, switching on the light. “The bathroom, as you see. Way less spacious than yours.” Then I closed the door again, went over to the next, and led Edward into the room. “And this is my bedroom.”

When I turned around to see his reaction, I was surprised to find his lips on mine. For a moment, they just lingered there as I enjoyed the warm, pleasant sensation of his nearness. Without breaking away from me, he took the glass out of my hand and set it on the dresser together with his.

Then his mouth started to move as his hands pulled me close to him. His lips parted, and his demanding tongue darted out, sliding between my lips. When it met mine, it started a subtle seduction that caused my whole body to react.

My hands moved up, gripping his hair without my conscious command, holding him closer to me. My breasts were aching to be touched and my center was throbbing, waiting to be filled. I moved my hands down to seize the hem of my top and pulled it over my head, necessarily breaking away from Edward.

He smiled widely as he saw my dark-red lace bra. All of a sudden, he was in a hurry to get to the bed, pulling me with him and making me sit on the edge of the mattress. He pushed against my shoulders, urging me to lie down. Then he lifted my left high-heeled boot up in the air, pulled down the zipper and took it off. After doing the same with the other boot, he took off his shirt, jeans, shoes and socks.

When he came back to me, pulling down my skirt, I saw his eyes open wide with surprise to find that I was wearing black hold-up stockings.

“Poor Mike.” Edward sighed, shaking his head slightly, as he enjoyed the view.

“It wasn't any Mike I was thinking of when I put these on earlier.” I smiled at him suggestively as I got up to kneel on the bed, inviting him to join me.

“So, you're wearing all that for me?” His eyes took on a wicked gleam.

“I thought you might like it.” I let my index finger slide down the middle of his chest, stroked his stomach with my palm, then gripped the waistband of his boxer briefs.

“Oh, baby, you have no idea.” Without a warning, his demanding lips captured mine, devouring my mouth. The warm weight of his body closed in on me, forcing me to lie down on my back. His hands slid the straps of my bra off my shoulders and pulled the whole thing down about two inches, baring my breasts. He took them in both of his hands, circling the hardened peaks with his thumbs. Then he pinched them slightly between two fingers, making me moan out in pleasure.

My body was on fire, my panties soaking wet, when Edward finally pulled them down. Slowly, he let his hands slide up the inside of first my calves to my thighs, feeling the silky texture of the stockings. When he reached my center, he experimentally inserted one finger and pulled it out again, appraising the wetness covering it.

“Hmmm, is that for me, too?” He looked me straight in the eye with one raised brow.

I bit my lip and nodded with a half-shy, half-seductive smile, moaning as his finger entered me again. When he retreated, he left a feeling of emptiness and longing for more. Unexpectedly, he slid his tongue inside my sex, making me gasp in astonishment. That sensation was so new. Never before had anyone done this to me. And he did it well. In and out and in and out, circling around my walls, licking and sucking my nub in between.

My hands grabbed the sheet, trying to channel the tension that threatened to rip me apart. As he continued to feast on me, I had to let myself go, screaming out in frenzy as I reached the peak of pleasure.

Edward chuckled lowly when I squirmed, as he let his ardent tongue sweep through my cleft one, two, three more times. Then he took his briefs off while I took a condom out of the nightstand.

“Put it on me,” he ordered, positioning his hips between my thighs. I did as I'd been told, before I looked him in the eye again. Holding my gaze, he thrust his hardness inside me deeply.

“There's one thing you need to know about me.” He retreated and attacked again, deeper and less gentle. “I … Do … Not … Share.” Each word was accentuated by a forceful plunge into my welcoming center, making me moan with each hit of my g-spot. Then he stopped, buried deep inside me, his eyes still holding mine. “As long as you want me to fuck you, there can be no one else. Do you understand?” He slammed his hips against me once more. “Answer me, Bella! Do you understand?” Thrusting into me almost brutally, he searched my eyes for an answer.

My head was already spinning from Edward's intensity, but I knew what he was getting at. He wanted me all to himself, and I was incredibly turned on by his possessiveness.

“Yes, Edward,” I choked out, sounding breathless and needy.

One, two, three more stabs.

“Or do you want anyone else?” Determinedly, he pushed into me once more.

In that moment, I couldn't imagine ever letting anyone else touch me again.

“No, oh God, no.” After my moaned out reply, he put my legs over his shoulders and slid inside even deeper. In this position, every new intrusion knocked the breath out of me. He took me forcefully — all gentleness he usually displayed was gone. But I didn't miss it. He seemed to be literally hammering his point home — needlessly, because I already knew — and it was exactly what my body was craving. He showed me that he could give me whatever I needed. When I was sure he couldn't go on any longer without me exploding from the constantly increasing excitement waiting for release, I was suddenly high with an almost unbearable climax.

Edward's lips sealed mine, silencing my ecstatic cries, before a second later, he panted frantically with me, as I felt him pulsating and releasing inside me. He stayed on top of me, his lips on my neck until his breath steadied.

“I'm sorry,” he whispered as he rolled off me.

“What for?” I asked in my post-orgasmic bliss.

“For being rough. But seeing you with that jerk earlier somehow made me desperate to mark my territory.” He smiled shyly as he threw the condom away.

He had done that very well, spoiled me for every other man. Although I should have felt alarmed by his choice of words, I couldn't bring myself to care.

“I'm not complaining,” I mumbled, looking straight up at the ceiling.

“Bella.” Edward turned to lie on his side, propping himself up on his elbow, his face serious. “What I meant earlier is that, as long as you want me, I'd hope that I am enough for you. No strings attached, though. We're friends — well, with certain benefits I enjoy very much. But, whenever you don't want this anymore, tell me, it's okay. No hard feelings.”

My heart was hammering wildly in my chest. Yes, I wanted him, and he was more than enough. Actually, this was the ideal solution. What I hated most about one-night stands was the anonymity, and yet it was a necessity. With Edward, it was different, better. We knew each other, but I still felt comfortable with our kind of closeness. In my past relationships, I had always felt suffocated. So, friends with benefits, exclusive and cancelable at any notice?

“That works for me. Actually, I don't _like_ one-night stands.” The fierceness of our sex had worn me out, and the way Edward had taken our friendship to another level only added to my exhaustion. As hard as I tried, I couldn't hold back a yawn.

Chuckling under his breath, he turned me away from him as he pulled my back against his chest, wrapping his arms around me.

“Sleep, beautiful. Good night,” he whispered into my ear.

The last thing I felt before sleep overpowered me was Edward nuzzling my hair.

 

****POMH****

 

When I woke up the next morning, Edward's strong arms were still holding me protectively. For once, I was feeling happy and content with the way things were. After we had made it clear the night before that we were friends, nothing more, I was able to enjoy the warmth and security that he provided.

However, now that Edward was in my home, I wanted to be a good hostess and cook him breakfast. So, as always when we spent a night together, I tried to maneuver my way out of his embrace. My attempt, however, was very ineffective, because his hold on me tightened.

“You're leaving me again? Why this time?” He didn't open his eyes to ask his questions in a sleepy voice.

“Since we're at my place, I wanted to cook you breakfast.”

He faked indecisiveness before he let me go, sighing regretfully. “Although there are about a million other ideas in my head, I hate to admit that I'm hungry. Famished, actually.”

I quickly put on some flannel pajama pants and a top before I turned to look at the man in my no-longer virginal bed. It felt strangely exciting to see him there.

“If you like, you can take a shower while I cook.” Without waiting for his reply, I left the room and headed for the kitchen.

I was relieved to find that, although my breakfast usually consisted of milk and cereal, and grocery shopping was due today, I had enough eggs, cheese and bacon in the fridge to make omelets.

I was immediately distracted when I heard the water in the shower being turned on. My mind was filled with images of Edward naked in my bathroom. It was hard to keep a coherent thought and stay in the kitchen instead of running to join him in the shower.

When I placed the second omelet on a plate, Edward emerged from the bedroom, wearing jeans and his green shirt from the club. His wet hair shone darker than its usual deep bronze. He looked incredibly sexy.

“Hmmm, it really smells good in here. What's for breakfast?” he asked as he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind me, looking over my shoulder.

“Omelet with cheese and bacon. Have a seat,” I said, kissing his jaw before I set the two plates on the table. “And coffee, of course,” I added, turning around to pour two cups. Then I returned, putting the cups on the table and sat down next to him.

“Thank you. This looks delicious,” he said before he cut off a piece and tried it.

“I hope it tastes good, too. I'm a little bit out of practice. I think the last time I cooked breakfast was more than three years ago.” Looking away from him, I tried a bite myself.

“It's really great.” He chewed with his eyes closed. “Three years ago? How can that be?”

“Well, as long as I lived at home, I cooked regularly for Charlie and Sue. When I lived with Alice, it was still every now and then. But, since Alice and Jasper bought the house and I moved here, I usually have milk and cereal if I eat anything at all in the morning.”

His brows were furrowed in confusion, and I could guess what he wanted to know but didn't dare to ask.

“I usually don't have guests over. You're the first guy I ever brought back here. You know, I consider it a very personal thing to show someone my home.” I shyly glanced at Edward from under my lashes.

“You're right, home is a private thing. So, does that mean I can feel flattered to have been invited to your sanctum?” he asked flirtatiously, one eyebrow raised and one corner of his mouth pulled up in a half grin.

“Well, it was a spur-of-the-moment decision, but I think you can,” I told him truthfully.

“Good, I like it here, and I'd like to be allowed to come back.” He winked at me as he put another bite of omelet in his mouth.

“We'll see about that. Maybe you will if you're a good boy.” I flashed him a meaningful smile, and he chuckled.

We ate the rest of our breakfast, talking about this and that. When we were done, Edward helped me wash the dishes before he went to the bedroom to get the rest of his stuff.

“So, I'll pick you up at eight. Is that okay for you?” We were standing at my door just as he was about to leave. I had almost forgotten about dinner tonight. Although I was incredibly nervous right then, I didn't want to cancel on him, never mind that my instincts were telling me to do just that.

“Eight is good. Will you tell me where we're going?” I asked, trying to keep my breath steady.

“Bella, relax. It's only dinner. We're going to a little Italian place someone at work told me about. You'll like it.” His beautiful eyes were locked with mine.

“I'll try.” I took a few deep breaths to demonstrate my effort.

“Good girl. See you tonight.” He touched his lips to my forehead before he turned away from me and walked around the corner.

 

********POMH********

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are you thinking? Did Edward react the way you expected or was it far from how you imagined it? I had so much fun writing the lemon here. I really love my Edward a little possessive. So, what do you think will be next? Right, the date, non-date, maybe a date after all. Here's a little teaser for that:
> 
> … “Hey, beautiful. If I had known you would be looking as appetizing as this, I would have ordered take out and planned to spend the evening in bed with you.” He leaned against the door frame. With a smirk on his face, he let his eyes roam every inch of my body before they locked with mine. … 
> 
> Next chapter we'll learn a little more about Bella's and Edward's families. I hope you're all interested to know how the dinner-with-a-friend will go. See you next week.


	12. The First (non-) Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my dear readers. I'm totally overwhelmed to see how many of you come back every week to read what my overactive mind comes up with. I love each and every one of your reviews. Thank you so much to all of you who let me know what they think about the last chapter. I hope that you'll keep sharing your thoughts with me. I also want to thank every one who voted for POMH at TLS. It didn't win by far but that doesn't matter. It was such an honor to be nominated.  
> I just got to know that my dear friend and prereader Vampgirl79 nominated POMH for Best Erotica in the Fandom Choice Awards. Thank you so much. I want to motivate all of you to go and vote for the many wonderful stories that are in the survey. Here's the link
> 
> http://thefandomchoiceawards.blogspot.de/p/hrefhttpwww.html?zx=bd9f8a80176330d5
> 
> Voting ends on January 3rd so you all have a lot of time to make up your mind. Unfortunately, the site doesn't seem to be working properly with firefox at the moment, but it does work if you use the Internet Explorer.  
> So, this week is the long-awaited first date or non-date or dinner with a friend. I guess, when you're done reading, you'll all be on the same page as to what it really is. I can't wait for you to tell me your impressions.  
> As usual, before I'll let you get to the story, I want to thank my betas evelyn-shaye and EdwardsMate4ever for the amount of help they put into this chapter. It was beta'd twice because they had so many suggestions after the first round. I'd like to give them a round of applause for making this so much better. I also want to thank my prereaders Thepurplebookworm and Vampgirl79 for their help and support. Without them you wouldn't be reading this story at all.  
> Now, with all that said, see you at the bottom.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight although I really wish I would. 
> 
> ******POMH******

Chapter 12 – The First (non-) Date

 

Edward had been gone for five minutes at the most when my phone started to ring. Instinctively, I knew that it was Alice checking up on me. Her demanding voice on the other end confirmed my assumption. “Bella, are you okay? You were suddenly gone last night. And what kind of stunt did you pull with that jerk?”

I sighed inwardly. These morning-after interrogations seemed to have become a regular thing since I started to spend my nights with Edward.

“Yes, I'm okay. I didn't feel well, and Edward drove me home.” I wasn't in the mood to discuss last night's events with her, all the more because I was still feeling embarrassed about my stupid flirt with Mike.

As usual, Alice knew when I wasn't telling the truth. “And you basically let that guy dry hump you on the dance floor because you didn't feel well? That doesn't make any sense, honey. What happened?” She sounded frustrated with my brief explanation.

This time, my sigh was audible. “Edward and I kind of had an argument, and when Mike — the guy — asked me to dance, I said yes. I was about to walk away from him right before Edward interrupted us.” I hoped she would buy it. I didn't want to go into the whole book-length version.

“That does make a little more sense. But what happened then?”

Annoyed by her prying, I tried to answer as naturally as possible. “We talked it through and made up,” I stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“You mean, he took you to his place, and you had wild make-up sex.” Her voice held absolute conviction and unmistakable excitement.

There was no use in lying to Alice. She would find out eventually. “Actually, I took him to my place, and he just left a few minutes ago.” I held my breath, waiting for her reaction to my unexpected revelation.

“You. Took. Him. To. Your. Place! Bella, you've never done that before.” She sounded baffled, and I could imagine her jaw dropping.

“Yes, I did. It was nice, and that's all there is to it. End of discussion.” I so hoped that, for once, she would let it go.

Alice was quiet for a moment, apparently deliberating whether to say more or to leave it at that. Fortunately, she changed the subject.

“What are you doing tonight? Jasper's going to watch a game with a friend, and I'd like to see the new Bond movie. Would you like to go watch it with me?”

It seemed that I had been rejoicing prematurely. Now I had to tell her some more, after all.

“Uhm, I'm kind of busy tonight,” I said insecurely, shifting my weight from one side to the other.

Without taking a moment to think about it, she knew that something was up. “What are you doing? Going over your bank statements? You didn't tell me you were going out tonight.” She sounded suspicious. And she was right. I hardly ever went out without her.

“I'm going to dinner. Edward asked me to keep him company while checking out a little Italian place.” Now it was out, and I was waiting for her to put her two cents in.

Alice's voice almost shrieked through the phone. “You're going on a date? And you weren't going to tell me? What did I do to deserve this?” In her tone, excitement overruled her apparent disappointment.

“It's not a date! He said so himself. It's only dinner.” I had to rein in her enthusiasm before it got out of hand. “I didn't tell you because I knew you'd read way too much into it.” My tone of voice was defensive, conveying how unnerved I was.

“Who are you kidding, Bella? It's a date, and you know it.” She practically spat the words at me, and deep down, I knew she was right. But I couldn't admit it, especially not to myself, or else I would run and hide instead of having dinner with Edward.

Again, I tried to put the whole thing into perspective. “It's not, Alice. We're friends and nothing more. Suck it up.” I attempted to sound determined, but I knew better than to think I'd be having the last word in a conversation with her.

“You can fool yourself all you want, but you can't fool me. You like him, and he likes you. But I'm not going into that now. You have to figure this out on your own. Please, just promise me one thing: don't blow it because you're afraid. Enjoy your date. Have fun. Maybe we'll go watch Daniel Craig with the guys sometime next week. I'll call you tomorrow.”

After pleading her case, she hung up on me without giving me any chance to object.

 

****POMH****

 

When I was done grocery shopping and doing some other errands, I tried to mentally prepare for my dinner with Edward. Talking to Alice hadn't helped with my nerves. Quite the contrary — since our conversation, I was shaking in my metaphorical boots, although I couldn't deny that I was a bit excited at the prospect of spending a whole evening with Edward, alone, outside of a bedroom. Well, I didn't want to rule out the possibility of ending the evening in bed together.

After my chores were done, it was already late afternoon, and I decided to take a bath to calm my nerves. The warm water felt really soothing, and I was surprised when a glance at the clock made me realize that it was already 7:00 p.m. I climbed out of the now-cold water and started to get ready.

I settled for wearing my hair down and applying just a little basic make-up with a focus on my eyes.

I didn't want to dress too casually, but I didn't want to look too sexy, either. It would be dinner with a friend. After literally taking out and putting back every piece of clothing in my closet, I decided to wear a long-sleeved, purple, knee-length, knitted dress with a v-neck, showing a bit of cleavage. I loved that dress because, while hugging my curves just right, it was comfortable without looking too casual. The color also went very well with my brown hair and brown eyes.

Again, I opted for wearing stockings instead of pantyhose, after last night had proven that decision to be a success. I completed the outfit with my favorite black heels. Normally, for dinner with a friend, I would have preferred to wear ballerina flats. But since I was also hoping to cash in on the benefits that came along with said friendship, the heels seemed to be the right choice.

As soon as I had taken a look at my completed outfit in the bedroom mirror, there was a knock on the door.

When I opened it, Edward stood in front of me, wearing stone-washed jeans, a blue shirt and a dark gray jacket. His hair was as wonderfully disheveled as always, and his emerald eyes were sparkling with amusement.

“Hey, beautiful. If I had known you would be looking as appetizing as this, I would have ordered take-out and planned to spend the evening in bed with you.” He leaned against the door frame. With a smirk on his face, he let his eyes roam every inch of my body before they locked with mine.

I smiled at him suggestively. “You know, I'm ready to do anything to get out of this dinner thing.” Biting my bottom lip, I waited for his response.

“That's what I thought. But I have to disappoint you. I made a reservation, and I'm not going to stand the nice people up. So, get your coat. We're leaving.”

 

****POMH****

 

La Taverna Vecchiawas a small Italian restaurant. It must really have been an insider tip that brought us there, since the place was kind of hidden, and no one would come there coincidentally.

Although it seemed quite characterless from the outside, it was very cute, cozy and even relatively spacious inside. There were lots of paintings of the Tuscan landscape on the walls, and wine branches were hanging in dozens from the ceiling. The air was filled with soft typical Italian music. It could have been tacky, but the place exuded a nice, traditional, somehow romantic atmosphere.

We were led to a small table in the back where Edward pulled out my chair for me and helped me sit down before he took a seat next to me. When the waiter asked what we wanted to drink, Edward ordered a bottle of red wine with two glasses.

“Who told you about this place again?” I asked as soon as we were alone.

“Someone at work. Do you like it?” he inquired, smiling shyly at me.

That smile made my stomach do a somersault. I had to look away, taking in our surroundings again, before I answered his question. “I love it. It's the perfect place for a first date. You should keep that in mind.” I wasn't sure why I said it, probably to remind both of us about what this was not supposed to be, but when I saw a glimmer of hurt cross his face, I wanted to take it back.

“I will.” His words had an edge to them. He opened the menu, effectively closing the subject.

I started to study the menu as well. It didn't take long for the waiter to come back, serving the wine and taking our orders.

Edward started the conversation as soon as he was gone again. “I hope you like Italian food. I know I didn't ask you before.”

“I love Italian food,” I assured him. “I used to torture my dad with my preference for cooking Italian whenever I got the chance to cook at home.” My fingers were toying with the stem of the wine glass, slowly turning it around.

“Have you ever been to Italy?” Edward inquired, his curious eyes holding mine.

One side of my mouth turned up in a sad smile. “No, I've never been to Europe. But I definitely want to go one day. I always imagined Italy to be one of the most romantic countries in the world.” I let my gaze wander around the richly decorated room again.

“Then let's drink to an evening in Rome, or whatever city this is supposed to be.” He smiled, clinking his glass to mine before we both took a sip.

“You said you cooked for your dad, and I know you told me your parents were divorced, but how come you never talk about your mom?” Edward asked cautiously after he found the wine to be good.

I put my glass down again before I started to tell him my family history. “Renée, my mother, left Charlie and me when I was a child,” I started to explain, sounding nonchalant. A lot of time had passed since then, and I had made my peace with my childhood. “They had been unhappy for a while. She didn't like small town life, and my dad was too down-to-earth for her taste. When they met, they were quite young, fell madly in love, and got married pretty soon after.” A quick smile crossed my face. “Then they had me, and everything went downhill. When I was six, she finally decided that it was time for her to move on, away from Forks and Charlie, to go find herself, try new things.” I said the last part with air-quotes to make perfectly clear that they were her words, not mine. There was no doubt as to what I was thinking of her ridiculous excuse. “Charlie insisted on keeping primary custody of me since Renée had never acted like a responsible adult. But as far as I know, it wasn't hard to convince her.”

All that happened more than twenty years ago, and I really didn't miss my mother. But at times, it hurt that she obviously didn't care enough to fight for me.

“I'm so sorry.” His voice was soft. He placed his hand on mine in his desire to show his sympathy, and I felt my skin tingling pleasantly where we touched. “I can't imagine what it must be like to grow up without a mother.”

He looked so worried that I felt the need to quickly ease his mind. “I didn't have to. About a year after Renée left, Charlie met Sue. She was a young widow, a friend of my dad's best friend. Another year later, she moved in with us. She has been more of a mother to me than Renée ever was. We're still quite close.” I smiled at him to show him that everything was okay.

Edward's eyebrow was raised inquisitively. “And Renée? What happened to her?”

“She moved around a lot, first California, then Arizona. She got married again, two years ago, and is currently living in Florida with her much younger husband.” I frowned as I remembered that joke of a wedding I had agreed to attend. Although Phil was nice, he was way too young for her. The wedding took place at a beach where they were married by a hippie with a license from the internet. It was all very Renée.

“How often do you see her? I mean, she's your mother, after all. You do see her, don't you?” His voice sounded concerned. The sympathy he showed was really endearing.

I sighed, thinking about the time I actually spent with her. “After the divorce, she insisted on having me with her all summer, every year. But whenever I was there, she was out a lot, leaving me at home. Every time I saw her, she had a new man along with some new cult she had found to make her happy. Since I was fifteen, I've flat-out refused to go. From then on, I've seen her a couple of days every other year or so. Last time I saw her was at her wedding. But she calls me every few months.” Mostly I wished she wouldn't. We always had awkward conversations, and she never agreed with anything in my life.

When the waiter came to leave us a bruschetta to share, Edward reluctantly pulled his hand away from mine. I felt strangely sad about the loss of contact. As soon as the man had left, we both took a bite before Edward continued our conversation.

“I couldn't imagine not talking to any member of my family for more than a week. We're very close. It almost kills me to be so far away from them.” The sincerity and sadness in his eyes made me want to get up and wrap my arms around him.

I almost didn't dare to ask but I needed to know. “So, you're not planning on staying in Seattle for long? I mean, if you miss your family that much.” I felt a big lump in my throat at the thought of Edward leaving again. In the short time I'd known him, he'd already become a solid part of my life.

His hand brushed mine for a short moment on its way to the plate with our starter. The tingling was back immediately.

His voice was determined when he dispelled my doubts. “I love them, and I miss them, but I like it here, too. And, as I told you before, Chicago wasn't the healthiest place for me, recently. At the moment, I'm not planning on moving back anytime soon. I have lots of plans here.” He said the last sentence with a knowing grin.

I was really curious about those plans, but something told me not to ask.

“And Chicago is only a few hours' flight away. I can see my family almost as much as I want to. By the way, did I tell you that my brother Emmett is coming to Seattle next weekend?” His whole face lit up at the mention of his brother before he put a big piece of bruschetta in his mouth.

The prospect of meeting Edward's brother was somehow exciting but, at the same time, terrifying as hell. “No, you didn't. Why is he coming? Is he coming alone, or will he bring his wife?”

“Unfortunately, he'll be coming alone. He has a business meeting here on Friday, and he'll stay until Sunday. Rosalie, his wife, has an important appointment on Friday and has to stay in Chicago. It's sad, but then again, it'll be nice to have Emmett to myself for once.” His smile had faded slightly but returned again before he went on. “We haven't spent time together without Rose in a long time.” We had finished the starter and both turned to our wine again.

“So, I guess I won't meet the infamous Emmett, then. I'm really curious about the man who stole your high school sweetheart away from you,” I teased.

He laughed out loud before answering me. “You're thinking way too much into that. Rose and I went out a few times when we were fifteen, nothing too serious. And when she met Emmett, she broke up with me at once. I wasn't even very sorry about that break-up. You have to know that Rosalie isn't the easiest person to be around. But you will meet Emmett — at least, I hope so. I planned to take him to a club Friday night, and I thought you, Jasper and Alice would not only recommend a place but join us. After all, since the wedding, Jasper is Emmett's brother-in-law.”

When the waiter came to clear the table, we both sat back in our chairs. Only then, I realized that we had been leaning quite close to each other. It had come very naturally during our conversation. In general, when we were around each other, being physically close seemed to be the normal thing to do. I was still wondering what that could mean when Edward thanked the waiter as he walked away from our table.

To stop my mind from asking questions I didn't know or even want to know the answers to, I resumed our conversation. “I'm looking forward to meeting your brother.” I really was.

“I have to thank you again for helping me paint. Emmett's going to stay in my guest room.”

Before I could reply by telling him that I had a lot of fun that day, the waiter was already back with our main courses.

The interruption gave me a moment to think. Although I didn't assume that, from now on, we would be spending every weekend together, I was a little disappointed at the prospect of probably spending my nights alone next weekend because Emmett would be visiting. I was glad to be distracted by the waiter setting the plates down and telling us to enjoy our meal.

“So, did you unpack the last boxes? And what about the fold-out sofa?” I asked after enjoying the first bites of my risotto.

Edward moaned softly at the taste of his food, and the sound caused my entrance to throb. It was a very sensual sound that made me crave his naked skin on mine.

He tore me away from my daydream when he finally answered my question. “I ordered a sofa last week. It'll be delivered on Monday. And I unpacked the last box this afternoon. But if you wanted to offer your help, I'm sure I could find something for you to do?” He winked at me before he put the fork in his mouth.

There was definitely some _one_ I wanted to do.

We ate and talked a lot more. I enjoyed the evening. Never once did I feel uncomfortable or threatened. It was nice to learn more about Edward's family, his college time, his previous job and his friends in Chicago. I told him more about my childhood, Charlie and Sue, my work. It was so easy to talk to him. Every now and then, when one of us reached for something, we touched for a short time, and with each touch my need for him grew.

When the bottle of wine was empty, the waiter came and asked whether we wanted to order dessert. Edward asked him to bring us the dessert menu.

“Hmmm, I love tiramisu. Since the rest of the food was delicious, I'm sure the desserts will be great, too,” I said after taking a look at my choices.

“At home I have an Italian dessert wine that, I think, would be perfect with the tiramisu. What do you say? We take the dessert to go and try my wine?” He smiled his lopsided smile, and I was done for. The sexual tension between us had built up all night as the wine had gotten less. Of course, I wanted to go somewhere more private.

“That sounds like a plan.”

 

********POMH********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's the verdict? Date or not a date? I'd love to hear your thoughts on that. I'm sure most of you can guess what's going to happen next week. I deliberated making the evening one long chapter but that wouldn't have fit my usual chapter length. I can tell you they're going to have a juicy dessert. Here's a little preview:
> 
> … “I like a woman who knows what she wants,” he purred as he unhooked my bra and dropped it to the floor.  
> “And I'm determined to get it,” I answered hoarsely as I climbed his lap …
> 
> I just love how the two of them interact once they let go of their inhibitions. I hope you're into some citrus, too. See you next week.


	13. Dessert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi to all of you out there. I'm so glad you're all back for dessert ;). Thank you for all the reviews. I'm trying to answer them all but if I forgot you, I didn't mean to. If you're a guest, then unfortunately I can't answer you, but I'm really grateful to you for sharing your thoughts.  
> I don't have much to say about this chapter. It's kind if fun and light, though. Before you're allowed to read it, I want you to know that I love my betas EdwardsMate4ever and evelyn-shaye as well well my friend and prereader Vampgirl79. Thank you all so much for your help and support.  
> Now, here's dessert. See you at the bottom.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own nothing, but I love playing with it.

Chapter 13 – Dessert

The first thing I noticed when I entered Edward's living room was that the place didn't look as if someone was moving in or out anymore. He had told the truth earlier when he'd said that he was done unpacking. The wall of shelves was now almost filled to the last inch with CDs and books.  
“Hey, it looks like someone actually lives here now,” I commented, smiling at him as he went to the kitchen.  
Opening a bottle of wine, he answered, “I didn't do anything but unpack for the past week.” The cork came out of the bottle with a loud pop.  
“Well, you have been doing something else. Occasionally, you've been doing me,” I stated with a wicked grin.  
With a smug smile on his face he took two glasses out of a cabinet and set them on the coffee table together with the bottle.  
“Since I did unpack you before doing you, I think that still counts,” he countered, throwing me a wink while walking back into the kitchen. His words combined with his flirtatious gesture sent a direct jolt to my lady parts.  
He arranged the dessert on two plates and carried them back to the sofa. After setting the plates on the table, he poured us some wine as we both sat down close to each other.  
“Hmmm, this is really good. I don't think I ever tasted a better tiramisu,” I said as soon as the first bite was in my mouth.  
“You're right. But try the Marsala. I hope you'll like it, too. After all, that's why we came here.” He flashed me his signature crooked smile that made my panties melt.  
As I took a mouthful of the sweet, red wine, I could suddenly think of nothing other than tasting it on Edward's tongue.  
After swallowing down a second sip, I gave my verdict. “That wine is delicious. It's the first time I'm drinking Marsala.”  
In fact, it was so good, I had emptied my glass long before I was done with the dessert. Good host that he was, Edward immediately poured me another glass. After a bit more flirting, I had almost finished my second glass, and I was beginning to feel a bit tipsy. Edward grinned guiltily as I swayed a little while setting the glass back on the table.  
He let out a very sexy chuckle. “I should have warned you that the Marsala is quite intoxicating.”  
Too late, I had already figured that out by myself.  
“So, I guess that's your trick, then, inviting women to your place and getting them drunk to make them compliant.” I glared at him in mock outrage.  
“You think I brought you here and fuddled you to have my way with you? Would that have been necessary? I mean, I had my way with you before without.” He raised his brow and flashed me a confident smile that made me want to fuck him senseless.  
I thought, as long as I was feeling uninhibited, very bold and horny as hell, I might as well make the best of it. So I climbed onto Edward's lap. Sitting astride, I could feel his erection grow through his jeans and my panties.  
“No, it isn't necessary. If you hadn't insisted on going to dinner, I would have jumped you the second I opened my door to find you undressing me with your eyes.” I heard myself say those things and couldn't believe I was really that brave.  
Growling quietly, Edward bowed his head and buried his face in my cleavage while his hands grabbed my ass. My fingers wove through his hair, then gripped a few strands and pulled his head back so I could look into his eyes. As his gaze met mine, I saw that his eyes were clouded with lust. That was all it took. I attacked his lips with mine, opening my ravenous mouth to invite him in. He accepted at once, capturing my mouth with his hungry tongue that tasted even sweeter than I had imagined.  
In another spell of keenness, I pulled my dress over my head, only breaking away from Edward's lips for a second. It was a good thing he had taken off his jacket when we arrived, so there was one less piece of clothing I had to get rid of. I undid the first two buttons of his shirt, then pulled it over his head.  
As soon as his chest was bared, I trailed kisses down his neck while my fingers started to circle and pinch his nipples. Edward's hands squeezed my ass a few times, before he spread his legs a little to grant his hand, which had glided into my wet panties, better excess to my folds. He let his fingers stroke back and forth a few times. Then he slid two fingers inside my dripping sex. Pulling them back out again, he moaned with me. “Had I known you wanted me that much, we would have skipped dinner and started with dessert.” He pumped his fingers back in deeper, making me whimper.  
His other hand dug one breast out of my bra so he could suck my nipple. I arched my back in response to help him reach the peak more easily.  
His fingers left my center to reach for my clit. The combined sensation of Edward's mouth pleasuring my nipple and his fingers massaging my bundle of nerves made me lose my mind.  
I moaned heavily as I reveled in the overwhelming feelings Edward inflicted on me. He began to suck my nipple harder, and his hand started to move faster and more determinedly.  
“Oh fuck … so good.” I felt the tension inside me built up rapidly until it suddenly and forcefully boiled over, making me scream out in ecstasy. I had to hold on to Edward's hair for a minute before I was able to hold myself upright without his help.  
As soon as I was kind of in control of my body again, I climbed off of him quickly to get rid of my soaked panties. Leaving my shoes and stockings on, I felt more sexy and confident than ever. Then I stripped him of his jeans, boxer briefs, shoes and socks. His hungry eyes never left mine. Reaching for my purse, I took out a condom, opened the package, and rolled it on.  
“I like a woman who knows what she wants,” he purred as he unhooked my bra and dropped it to the floor.  
“And I'm determined to get it,” I answered hoarsely as I climbed his lap to take my former position again. In one swift motion of my hips, I took his hard cock deep inside me, making both of us moan in pleasure.  
The aroused look on his face — his eyes black with need and his lips slightly parted — was an incredible turn-on.  
I needed to taste him again, feel as much of him as possible. Our lips met, but it was more of an assault than a kiss. As I started to move up and down while at the same time grinding myself into his lap, the feeling of Edward inside me made my head spin. Again and again, I lifted my hips and brought them back down forcefully, impaling myself on his length as deeply as possible, while our tongues fought a battle of their own.  
Our breaths came hot, and in a moment of almost unbearable desire, I bit his lower lip hard. A sexy growl escaped his throat before he threw me on my back. Our connection never broke while he positioned himself on top of me. As he started to thrust, my hands grabbed his hair again, trying to pull his face down to mine. With a wicked grin, he grabbed both my hands in one of his and moved them above my head, holding them in an iron grip.  
“Oh no, baby, now I'm in charge.” His voice, while definitely authoritative, also sounded choked with need.  
I was so turned on by his taking charge that I moaned as my whole body shuddered with arousal. Then he resumed ramming into me roughly, his lips on my neck, licking, kissing and biting as I surrendered to his dominance. His body covered mine, his thickness filling my aching center, his wonderful scent surrounding me. All of that, plus my state of intoxication, made me lose control.  
My breathing was erratic, my heart beating frantically, as Edward stabbed that certain spot deep inside me over and over again with precision. Loud moans of pleasure burst out of my throat as the arriving climax ripped through my whole being.  
I screamed out, not caring that his neighbors might hear me. “God, Edward, yeesssss.”  
Feeling my body react, Edward placed three more forceful thrusts until I felt him come as well. His face contorted in the highest kind of ecstasy and a string of profanities left his mouth before he collapsed on top of me.  
“I didn't see that coming,” he said in between wild pants. “At least, not that way. Maybe I should get you drunk more often.” His chuckles vibrated through both our bodies.  
Suddenly, I was feeling totally dizzy, drunk as much on the Marsala as on Edward's touch. I desperately needed to close my eyes.

****POMH****

When I woke, I realized that I was lying in a comfortable king-sized bed, naked, feeling strangely satisfied. But, without being aware where I was yet or what time it was, I felt something important was missing.  
I sat up, covering myself with the sheet, as my head began to spin lightly. At that moment, the door opened and Edward appeared, wearing pajama pants and a white t-shirt, carrying a tray full of food.  
“Good morning, beautiful. I'm glad to see you're among the living, again,” he greeted with an amused smile. Taking in my appearance, the smile faded slightly and his brows furrowed with concern. “Do you have a headache? You might want to lie down for a bit longer if you're feeling lightheaded.”  
He placed the tray in the center of the bed and sat down beside it.  
I carefully lay back down before I answered him. “I'm a little dizzy, and yes, I have a headache.”  
Without another word, he handed me two pills and a glass of water to down them. I complied at once, then cast a glance at the food he had brought.  
“I hope you don't feel nauseous. I made you breakfast.” He smiled his beautiful crooked smile, and suddenly, I felt all warm inside.  
I propped myself up on a pillow and started to spread butter on a slice of toast. “Thank you. I haven't had breakfast in bed since I was a kid,” I said, smiling to myself.  
“You should stay over more often. Room service is included in the rates for the night.” He winked at me before he took a sip of his coffee.  
“Uhm,” I started, biting my lip, not sure how to ask what had happened last night. I didn't remember everything very clearly. “About last night.” I paused again. “I'm sorry about my behavior.”  
He slowly shook his head before he answered me. “You don't have to be. I have to admit, you're sexy as hell when you're drunk.” His eyes were so full of hunger that I might have attacked him again right then if my head hadn't been hammering.  
“But it's just not like me to, you know, make a move on a man like that.” Embarrassed, I looked down at my toast.  
“I didn't mind. Actually, I like it when a woman makes her intentions clear.” When he realized how ashamed I was, he reached over, cupped my chin, and lifted my face up to look at him. “Bella, last night was amazing. So, don't regret anything. I surely don't. And, to be honest, it seemed like you were enjoying yourself just as much as I was.” His serious expression turned into a mocking smile. “The only thing you could be embarrassed about is your snoring.”  
My hands went to my hips as I objected, outraged, “I don't snore!”  
“Obviously you do when you're passed out drunk. But, don't worry. Your secret's safe with me. As long as you don't tell anyone about my love for Elvis Presley movies, I won't reveal your bad sleeping habit.” He winked again, and we ate the rest of our breakfast in a very good mood.

********POMH********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi again. So, was the dessert to your liking? I hope you enjoyed the lemony tiramisu.  
> Do you really think Bella snores or was Edward just teasing her? What do you think could happen next week? Here's a little preview:
> 
> … I blinked my puffy eyes a few times to make sure I wasn't seeing things in a feverish delirium. But he didn't disappear. …
> 
> What could that mean? Let me know what you think. I hope you'll all be back next week.  
> To pass your time until then, I have two fics I want to recommend warmly to you:
> 
> If Only by Vampgirl79  
> "Come over, I need you. Now." As always, I go to her. Except this time it may be the last. I love her deeply, but I don't know if I can do this anymore. Each goodbye is harder than the last one. I want more than just being hers behind closed doors. If only we could truly be together; if only we were meant to be. All-Human/OOC *EPOV* 
> 
> Turning Page by Vampgirl79  
> Following her mother's heartbreaking death, Bella moves back to Forks. It's there she reconnects with her father, and forms a bond with the next-door neighbor. Is she the one who can heal his wounded heart; or will he hurt her over his fear of falling in love again? AH/OOC 
> 
> Vampgirl79 is a great writer and an even greater friend. Unfortunately, her writing doesn't get the attention is deserves. She has several fantastic stories, but the two I mentioned are her most recent one and my all time favorite. So, please, if you don't know her stories already, go and take a look. You won't regret it.
> 
> That's it for now! See you all next week.
> 
> P.S. Have given your vote for The Fandom Choice Awards? If not, please do so. The link is in my profile.


	14. Chicken Soup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, ladies, how's it going? Christmas is only one week away and I still don't have all the presents I need. However, today's Tuesday and that means I have a new chapter for you. Since the last one was quite steamy, this week will be a little slower but very sweet.  
> Before I can let you read though, I want to remind you who makes this story what it is. I'd like you to give a round of applause to my wonderful betas evelyn-shaye and EdwardsMate4ever. Thanks you, ladies for your great help and for challenging me to constantly dig deeper. And thank you to my friend and prereader Vampgirl79 for her support and advice.  
> Now, here's the new chapter. Enjoy! See you at the bottom.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I hope that, after the holidays, I'll maybe own the BluRay box ;).

Chapter 14 – Chicken soup

 

After trying Edward's cell and home several times without success on Wednesday afternoon, I decided to leave him a voicemail.

“Hello, Edward,” I said through my stuffed-up nose. “I'm sorry. I have to cancel our plans for tonight, but I've had a cold for a few days now, and since around noon, I'm running a fever. So I can't go to see _Skyfall_ tonight.” My message was suddenly interrupted by a coughing fit. “Sorry about that. Anyway, I already talked to Alice. You guys are still on. I'm just dropping out. Hope to see you Friday night. Bye.” With that, I hung up.

Alice, Jasper, Edward, and I had planned to go see the new Bond movie tonight. When I got up this morning, I was still hoping I could go, but my temperature had increased over the last few hours, and by now, I was feeling too weak to leave my apartment.

Alice had offered to take a rain check, but I insisted that the three of them should go on as planned.

I had to admit that I was sad because I wouldn't see Edward tonight. Although I was still telling myself that he was nothing but a good friend — and my lover out of convenience — I had missed him since he'd taken me home on Sunday.

Our not-a-date had turned out to be kind of a date after all, and Alice was becoming more and more suspicious that something was going on behind her back. If something was going on, it was not only behind _her_ back but behind my own, since I was still dead set on keeping it a friendship rather than a relationship.

After leaving the message, I shuffled to the kitchen to make myself another cup of tea before I dragged my feet back to bed. There I fell asleep immediately.

 

****POMH****

 

I awoke with a start, unsure why I was awake at all. My room was dark, and it was quiet around me. I looked at the clock on my nightstand to see that it was 8:30 p.m. Something must have woken me since I was totally bewildered.

_Knock, knock, knock_

Someone was knocking on my door, probably not for the first time. After the second that I needed to realize what was happening, I slowly climbed out of bed, put on my robe, and sneaked to the door, blowing my nose on the way.

When I opened it, I saw Edward standing in the hall, his hand raised to start another round of knocks. I blinked my puffy eyes a few times to make sure I wasn't seeing things in a feverish delirium. But he didn't disappear. He was still standing there, dressed casually, smiling radiantly with bright green eyes.

“Hey, beautiful. You're looking hideous,” he said with furrowed brows. Immediately, I felt a little better seeing him.

“Thank you,” I answered, my nose still stuffed up. “I wasn't expecting company. Otherwise I would have dressed up and put some makeup on.” I did my best to lay the sarcasm on thick.

I opened the door further and let him come inside. “What are you doing here, anyway? Shouldn't you be at the movies with Alice and Jasper?”

“I canceled. I decided I could put my evening to better use if I came here to take care of you. I brought drugs,” he held up a box of cold medication, “food,” he showed me a can of chicken soup, “and entertainment.” He finally held up two DVDs of Elvis Presley movies.

I pressed my lips together in a tight line, feeling guilty that he was missing _Skyfall_. “You should have gone to see James Bond blow up some stuff and shoot some people. But, thank you. I can really use everything you brought.” I smiled, admitting to myself that his company was the best of all, before I had to blow my sore nose again.

“Come on. First we put you to bed again, and then I'll heat up the soup.” Unexpectedly, he scooped me up in his arms and carried me to the bedroom. I was stunned and way too exhausted to protest, so I just let him be. Stopping next to the bed, he set me on my feet again, helped me out of my robe, and lifted the covers. He waited until I climbed into bed before he gently tugged me in. Then he looked over at the nightstand and found my empty mug.

“I'll get you another cup of tea. You just lie down and rest.”

Lying in my bed, I couldn't hold back a smile as I heard Edward rummage through my kitchen. That man was really unbelievable. Did he actually pass on a night at the movies to take care of his sick friend? Certainly, not many men would do that. Then again, how many men did I really know? Not that many. Just having sex doesn't mean you know someone.

I heard the microwave ding, and a few moments later, Edward stood at the side of the bed, a tray with soup and tea in his hands.

“Can you sit up, or do you need help?” he asked as he put the tray down on the nightstand.

Straightening up and leaning my back against the headboard, I answered him with a stubborn glare, “I have a cold, I'm not dying.”

“If you say so,” he countered nonchalantly. “Here, first you take two of these.” He dropped two pills in my hand and handed me a glass of water. As soon as I had swallowed them, I gave him back the glass. “That's a good girl,” he stated with a smile.

Then he handed me the soup. “Do you want me to feed you?” His eyes sparkled with mischief.

Although I was tempted for a second, I was more annoyed by the thought of appearing to be weak. “I'm still quite capable of eating on my own. I have fended for myself for a long time.” I put a spoonful of hot soup in my mouth. It was delicious even though my sense of taste was quite impaired by the cold. “Hmm, thank you, Edward. Don't you want to eat anything?”

He sat down on the bed beside me, watching me eat my soup. “I ate on the way home. I worked late today. This is all about you.”

When the bowl was empty, he took it out of my hands, handing me the cup of tea instead.

“Can I do anything else for you? Do you want to eat something else, or maybe something to drink? Or a cold wet towel? Your forehead feels really hot,” he said after touching his hand to my face. His brows were furrowed with concern, his lips pressed in a tight line.

“No, thank you. I'm good. Which movies did you bring?” I tried to glance at the covers of the DVDs that were now lying on the edge of the nightstand.

He turned away from me and took the boxes in his hands. “Uhm, I have _Viva Las Vegas_ and _It Happened at the World's Fair_. Did you know that, before I moved here, every time I heard someone say 'Seattle', I had to think of that movie?” He grinned as he held the DVDs up for me to see.

“It's always been one of my favorites. Let's watch that one, then,” I decided, pointing at the white, blue and red cover of the film that was set in the city we both lived in.

Edward set up the DVD and turned out the lights. Then he went around the bed to sit on the other side, his back against the headboard, his feet dangling from the side.

I slid down to lie on my back again, pulling the covers up under my chin as the first notes of “Beyond the Bend” sounded from the TV.

We watched Elvis fly his plane, kiss a girl, and beat up a bunch of guys for about fifteen minutes before my teeth began to chatter.

“Why didn't you say something before? I'll get you another blanket,” Edward scolded as he got up and fetched the rug from the living room. Back in the bedroom, he spread it on top of the bed covers.

“Better?” he asked, standing beside the bed and looking down at me with worry in his eyes.

I shook my head as I lifted the covers, motioning for him to come join me. After deliberating for a second, he took his shoes off and slipped under the covers, wrapping his arms around me. Being comfortable and secure in his embrace, I slowly started to feel warm again.

As “They Remind Me Too Much of You” ended, I had relaxed enough into Edward's body to enjoy the movie and the company. The song was one of my all-time favorites. Slowly, the cold medication began to take effect as I drifted off to sleep. In my semi-unconscious state, I noticed Edward humming along when Elvis sang “I'm Falling in Love Tonight” before I entered dreamland.

 

****POMH****

 

I was feeling snug and happy when I woke up. My nose wasn't as stuffed up as before, giving me the chance to breathe at least a little bit. I felt a warm body spooning me from behind and strong arms were holding me close.

Unwilling to fully wake up just yet, but a little uncomfortable in this position, I turned around, placing my head on Edward's chest. It was unbelievable how used I had gotten to waking up near to him in only a few weeks when I had never before been able to endure that kind of closeness.

Ready to doze off once again, I suddenly went rigid, realizing that today was Thursday, and although my first appointment was around noon, Edward most certainly had to be at the office quite soon.

“Edward? Edward? Good morning,” I whispered, actually unwilling to wake him. I looked at the clock to see that it was eight a.m. already. “Edward, you've got to wake up. You need to go to work,” I said a little louder.

His voice was raspy with sleep. “Hmmm? What time is it?”

In fact, I didn't know at what time his day usually started, but I figured that he was expected at least around nine. “It's eight in the morning. You'll be late.”

“Oh!” His arms around me tightened for a moment before he let go and sat up. He was still wearing his white t-shirt and blue jeans. “How are you feeling today?” he asked before getting out of bed.

I quickly stretched my limbs, testing for any pain, before answering him. “Better. The fever is gone, and I'm even able to breathe through my nose again. Thank you for taking care of me,” I said quietly but sincerely, suddenly feeling a little shy.

“You're welcome.” He smiled at me before he took a look into the mirror, running his hands through his hair. “I don't have time to go home and change. Fortunately, I have a shirt and a jacket in the car. I'll just declare today casual Thursday.”

“I think I have a new toothbrush in the bathroom. Do you have time to take a shower?”

He looked at the clock again. “I'll have to try to be done in ten minutes,” he said as he vanished to the bathroom.

When I heard the water running, I got up, too, threw the robe on, and went to the kitchen in search of some quick breakfast I could offer Edward as a thank you for his care last night. After inspecting the contents of my fridge, I decided to make him a sandwich that he could eat on the way.

About ten minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom, drying his dripping hair with a towel.

“I think I made it. Now I have twenty minutes to get to the office.” He went back to the bedroom to put on his shoes, then walked over to me.

“I made you a sandwich. I guessed you wouldn't have time to have breakfast here with me,” I said, handing him a plastic box.

As he looked at me, there seemed to be some longing in his eyes I didn't understand. “Thank you. I'm sorry that I have to hurry like this.” After a second, he planted a kiss on my forehead. “Bye, Bella. See you tomorrow night.” Then he headed out.

 

****POMH****

 

After dragging myself to a day at work, I had just closed the door behind me that night, when my phone started to ring. “Hey, Bella. How are you?” Alice asked while I put my bag down and hung my coat in the closet.

“Better. The fever is gone, and I'm feeling almost normal again.” I didn't tell her that Edward had been here to take care of me. “How was _Skyfall_?”

She seemed to think about her answer before she started to speak. “Well, the movie was good, but I have to admit that it was a little strange to see James Bond cry. If you get a chance, you should go see it some time. Maybe Edward would like to go with you. He canceled on us, as well. Speaking of which, Jasper said today Edward looked as if he had been sleeping in his clothes. You didn't by any chance have something to do with that?” Of course Alice suspected something. Somehow, she had a special sense for things like that.

“Yes, I did. He came over last night, bringing me some meds and soup. Then we watched a DVD and fell asleep.” There was no use in beating around the bush, so I told her straight out.

She sighed theatrically. “He came to nurse you? That's so sweet.” I knew she was beaming.

“I know, right? This morning we overslept, so he didn't have time to drive home and change. That's why he looked inappropriate.” What the hell? I could be honest with her. She knew me inside out, anyway.

“When will you see him again?” Alice asked after a short pause.

I was surprised as my face turned into a frown. Twenty-four hours weren't that long, and he wasn't my boyfriend I wasn't able to be without for any length of time. “Tomorrow, just like you. Where are we going anyway?”

“We thought we'd go to The Escape. We haven't been there for a few months, and I think Emmett will like it. Do you want us to pick you up or will you go with Edward?” she asked teasingly.

I was a little unnerved by her insinuations. “We'll meet the Cullens there. So, would you pick me up?”

“Okay. Around nine then. See you tomorrow.”

“Bye, Alice.”

 

********POMH********

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's do a collective AAWWWWW! Isn't Edward just perfect? Who wants to be taken care of by him? Me, me, me *jumping up and down with my arm waving in the air*. Seriously, he's a really sweet guy.  
> The movie they watch is actually my favorite Elvis movie. If you get the chance and aren't totally opposed to sixties' musicals, you should check it out.  
> I have a question for you. I've been working on a few short EPOV outtakes of conversations he's had with Jasper and Emmett over the first weeks he knows Bella. Who's interested in reading them? I was thinking about maybe posting them one by one over the holidays. But please, don't be mad if I don't get them ready by then. I promise you'll get to read them some time if you want to.  
> So, what's next week? Yes, we'll meet Emmett. Here's a little preview:
> 
> … Emmett wiggled his brows suggestively. “I bet it was hot wherever you two were.” … 
> 
> You're asking if it will really be hot? I wouldn't let you spend Christmas without a lemon, would I? Tell me what you think Emmett will be like. Will he know about Edward and Bella? Please, share your thoughts with me. See you next week.


	15. Emmett

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, you wonderful people out there. I'm glad you're all back. I know, I'm a little early today but I have a busy day ahead of me, so I thought you wouldn't mind.  
> Everyone who reviewed the last chapter told me they were up for some outtakes. I promise, I'm working on them and hope I'll be able to post them in a day or two.  
> Without much further ado I'll give you today's chapter. I know you're all excited to meet Emmett.  
> Before you can actually read it, I want to thank my great betas EdwardsMate4ever and evelyn-shaye and my wonderful friend and prereader Vampgirl79. If you'll still find mistakes, those are all mine because I tend to tweak until the last minute.  
> So, here I give you Emmett. See you at the bottom.
> 
> Disclaimer: Twilight's not mine although I'm still hoping for that BluRay-box ;).

Chapter 15 – Emmett

 

For Friday night, I had chosen my outfit very carefully. Not knowing where the evening would lead, but hoping it would lead to some _adult play time_ with Edward, I needed an outfit that screamed “Take me now!”.

My closet didn't hold very much that fell into the aforementioned category. After a while, I had decided on a short black skirt, a tight red top with a low-cut v-neck, nude-colored stockings and my fuck-me heels.

I had done my hair up in a messy-looking bun with escaping strands, which made it look quite sexy, in my opinion. My makeup was the usual light foundation, but for once, I combined it with smokey eyes and red lipstick.

I think I did a good job choosing my outfit because, when I entered the club's main room, following Alice and Jasper who were heading for the bar, I felt lots of eyes on me. We decided to have our usual few drinks before conquering the dance floor.

As we approached the bar, I spotted a very familiar head of messy bronze hair. The well-built man attached to the head was leaning on the bar, his back turned to us, talking to a tall, burly guy with dark curls. I decided to let Jasper go first to greet his brother-in-law. He hit the stranger on the shoulder before he grabbed him in a guy hug. When they let go, the big man spotted Alice and hugged her heartily as well.

Edward turned around, too, his eyes scanning the crowd. As soon as they met mine, his face lit up, and he walked the few steps toward me. Stopping only inches away from me, he bent down and purred into my ear, “Hello, beautiful. You know that you have half the guys in this place drooling at the sight of you in these clothes?” He bit my lobe playfully before placing a gentle kiss on my cheek. I wasn't aware of how much I had missed his touch until I felt goosebumps break out all over my skin in reaction to his little caress. I wanted more. I needed more. I was craving his skin on mine.

“Come on, I want to introduce you to my brother.” He put his hand on the small of my back, guiding me over to the others. “Bella, this is my brother, Emmett. Emmett, let me introduce you to Bella Swan.”

Emmett Cullen was a bit taller than his younger brother, his hair darker and curly. His eyes were blue, and he had an impressive physique. He looked like the prototype of a football player. His mouth was curled up in a genuinely kind smile. The look in his eyes made him appear to be a very grown child.

“Hi, nice to meet you,” I said as I extended a hand for him to shake.

He just looked down at it, then ignored it and hugged me like he had done with the others. “So, you're the infamous Bella Swan. I've heard a lot about you,” he said as he released me. “Now I see why you suddenly like Seattle that much, little brother.” He elbowed Edward in the ribs as he smiled at me knowingly.

“What do you want to drink? Martini, martini and beer?” Edward asked as if to change the subject, pointing his finger first at me, than Alice and last Jasper.

We all nodded as he turned around to place the order.

“I'm glad to finally meet the woman my brother wants to —” Emmett started but stopped suddenly when Edward spun around, bumping into his brother, almost making him drop his beer. Then he shot him what seemed to be a warning look with narrowed eyes, before he faced the bar again.

The whole nonverbal exchange struck me as odd, so I tried to dig deeper. “You were saying?” I asked almost indifferently.

“Nevermind. It's nice to meet you.” I was sure there was more to it. But since I didn't know Emmett, I decided to let it go — at least for now.

We toasted Seattle and had a good time. After a while, while Jasper was too engrossed in a conversation with Emmett to go dancing, Alice met a co-worker and went to dance with her.

When Emmett and Jasper left, too, to take a look around, Edward and I remained at the bar, alone. I moved, standing with my back to Edward, to order another martini and beer as I felt a warm hand on the back of my thigh, slowly moving upwards until it eventually found my ass cheek.

“Did you choose your outfit with the intention to make me go mad?” A smooth voice whispered into my ear. His warm breath made my skin crawl in a very pleasurable way.

Turning my head to look at Edward's face, I answered, “I chose something I thought you might like.”

“I like it very much, but I'd like it even more scattered on the floor around my bed.” His eyes held a wicked gleam that made me shudder in anticipation.

“I think that could actually be arranged.” I shifted my whole body just enough to press my breasts against his chest, looking up into his eyes.

Edward let out a frustrated sigh. “It's a shame, but I can't take you home with me tonight. I have to take Emmett.” His eyes went to my cleavage and lingered there.

Afraid that my face might show my disappointment at the news, I turned to face the bar again. Edward's finger ran up and down my arm, leaving what felt like a trail of fire in its wake.

When we had finished our new round of drinks, working hard to act as normal as possible, Jasper and Emmett were still gone while the sexual tension between the two of us was close to boiling point. All of a sudden, Edward took the empty glass from me, put it down on the bar and grabbed my hand.

“Come on, let's dance,” he said before he pulled me after him to the center of the crowded dance floor.

The song playing was a mid tempo R'n'B number, and we started to move to the rhythm, deliberately without any physical contact — at first. After about two songs, our resolve was thrown to the wind as we swayed, pressed against each other. Edward's arms were wrapped around my waist, my hands tangled in his hair, and our lips locked in a searing kiss. Our tongues were doing most of the dancing now, our hips close enough for me to grind against his erection.

The need that had built up inside me, wetting my panties, was clouding my mind. It had been less than a week since we'd had sex, and normally I'd go for several weeks without it, but this was different. I desperately needed to feel Edward inside me, and I didn't know how long I could go on before I would spontaneously go up in flames.

It seemed that Edward was in equal need when he whispered, “Fuck! There must be some place we can go.”

His frustration gave me an idea. I took his hand and dragged him behind me, off the dance floor, out of the main room, and to a dark little corridor where I knew was an emergency exit. As soon as we were out of the lights, I turned to kiss his lips again, our tongues immediately resuming their enticing swirl.

He hustled me against the wall as his hands moved to my boobs, his fingers squeezing my visibly hard nipples.

“Ah,” I moaned lowly when he finally touched me where I needed it.

Aware that this would have to be a quickie, I started to unbuckle his belt, opened the button and zipper of his jeans, and fumbled around his pockets in search of a condom. I found one in his back pocket, opened the wrapper, and sheathed his hard cock in latex, careful not to let his jeans and boxer briefs drop too far in case someone would interrupt us.

“Turn around and spread your legs,” Edward whispered into my ear. I obeyed at once. Facing the wall, I felt him lift my skirt and pull my thong to the side. Then, with a quick move of his hips, he slid inside my throbbing center. It was unbelievable how good it felt to have him there. I experienced a weird sense of connection that washed over me, filling me with a sense of completeness.

Although I could have remained in this very position for a long time, just reveling in our closeness, we both knew that we had to find release fast before we attracted attention. So, without losing time, Edward started to move inside me, and just like that, my strange train of thought was erased. His lips were on my neck, kissing, licking, and biting alternately, while his fingers were pinching my nipples through my clothes.

Even though with Edward everything somehow felt different and better, this was something completely new for me. Not only did I like the way it felt to have him inside me at this particular angle, but it was a whole new experience to have sex in a public place like this. Although I was nervous about someone accidentally walking in on us, that thought was a real turn-on at the same time.

I felt how every new thrust brought me one step closer to the relief I so desperately needed. He was pounding me hard, and I eagerly received every thrust, slamming myself against his hips each time to intensify the sensation. The slapping sound of skin hitting skin competed with the moans we weren't able to stifle completely. Eventually, Edward moved one hand from my breast to my clit and started to circle it in quick, determined moves. I was so close and at the very second I heard someone gasp, my orgasm hit me with full force. My sex gripped Edward's cock, and his climax followed at once. He shoved himself into me a few more times before he stopped and hugged me close to him for a moment.

While he was still panting, he pulled out of me, leaving a sudden feeling of emptiness behind that I hadn't experienced ever before.

“I'm sorry this had to be so quick. I promise, I'll make up for it,” he whispered into my ear before he bit the lobe again.

Turning around to look at him, I giggled. “You'd better. Not that this wasn't good, but I'm kind of used to the way you normally take your time. You spoiled me.”

We both hurried to rearrange our clothes, locking our lips in one last passionate kiss, before we went back to look for the others. After a few minutes of making our way through the crowd of people, we found them at the bar again.

Emmett greeted us with a knowing smile. “Hey, where have you been? You're both looking a little flushed.” His eyes moved from his brother, to me, and back again.

“We were dancing. It's really hot in here, don't you think?” Edward answered, trying to get him to rest the topic.

Emmett wiggled his brows suggestively. “I bet it was hot wherever you two were.”

I could feel my face turn impossibly redder, and I dropped my gaze to the floor. From the corner of my eye, I saw Edward elbow Emmett in the ribs as he warned his older brother, “Shut up, okay?” They exchanged a look, and Emmett shrugged his shoulders before he resumed his conversation with Jasper.

“Maybe you should let your hair down, Bella. You have a mark on your neck,” Alice leaned in and whispered in my ear.

I cleared my throat in embarrassment as I loosened my bun and let my hair fall around my neck. When I looked at Edward, he mouthed a toneless, “Sorry.”

We drank more and laughed a lot while Edward and I tried to inconspicuously touch as much as possible.

At one a.m., Emmett said he was tired and would like to go home since he had flown in very early. When Alice and Jasper decided to leave as well, we all went to the parking lot together. The other three stopped a few feet away from Edward and me when we said our goodbyes.

“I'll call you on Sunday after Emmett leaves, okay?” He planted a blazing kiss on my cheek before he leaned in further to whisper, “My bed will be incredibly cold tonight.”

His words made me shiver. “Mine too,” I answered dreamily as the others approached us.

“It was really nice to meet you, Bella. I'm sure we'll see a lot more of you in the future,” Emmett said, winking at me before he wrapped his strong arms around me.

“It was nice to meet you too, Emmett. Bye.”

Then the two brothers stepped into the Volvo while Alice, Jasper and I got into Jasper's BMW and we all drove home.

 

****POMH****

 

Saturday night, Jasper, Emmett and Edward went to see a game, so Alice and I had made plans to have dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant.

Cutting any small talk, Alice dived right into the one thing she was most interested in. “So, where were you last night?” she asked eagerly even before our margaritas had been served.

“At the club. Don't you remember? You were there, too. You even drove me home,” I said, faking confusion, although I knew there was no way to discourage Alice. Once she was determined to know something, she was like a pit bull that sunk its teeth into its prey.

She narrowed her eyes at me as if she wanted to bore a hole into me. “Bella, stop evading. You and Edward were gone, and when you came back, you were both looking extremely flushed. And you had a hickey on your neck, or should I call it a _love bite_?” Her eyes were now wide and sparkling with excitement.

Involuntarily, my hand went to my scarf-covered neck, touching the spot where Edward's mouth had left me a souvenir. Never before had a man left that kind of mark on my skin. In a weird way, I was pleased to have a physical reminder of our connection on me. Had I been sixteen, I would have flaunted it proudly. Now, at twenty-eight, I had to cover it up as well as possible.

Alice, tapping her fingernail on the table top, made me return to the present. “Bella, talk!”

I took a deep breath and gave in to her inquisition. “We couldn't go either to his place or mine because of Emmett. And the more we tried to avoid contact, the more we needed to touch. So we had to find another place to go without leaving.” Although I was far from regretting it, I was more than a little ashamed about the place and circumstances of our encounter the night before.

“So, you had sex in the backseat of Edward's car? Like two teenagers who can't go home because their parents are there? How adorable.” To Alice, the whole situation was hilarious.

I felt my face turn beet-red while I bit my lip. “Not exactly.” We hadn't even come up with that idea.

“The bathroom then? Naughty Bella.” Her eyes gleamed with mischief and approval at the same time.

I shook my head in embarrassment.

Alice's brows furrowed in confusion. “Where then? I'm out of ideas.”

After swallowing once, I finally answered, “You know the small, dark corridor leading to the emergency exit?”

“Bella?” Alice's jaw dropped. Her head was shaking in disbelief. “You didn't … you wouldn't … did you really …” I nodded once. “Did anyone see you?” she asked, her tone a mixture of admiration and shock.

“I'm not sure. But I guess so. I heard someone gasp right before, well, you know, my mind got otherwise engaged.”

Alice nodded in thought when we were interrupted by the waitress serving our margaritas. We each ordered a different kind of enchilada before the waitress left us to our conversation again.

“Then it was good?” Alice asked as soon as the girl was gone.

I took a big sip of my margarita. “Incredibly good. Edward brings out a side of me that I never knew I had.” Knowing Alice would now start telling me to marry him and have a dozen sweet little babies, I sat back and waited.

“And you have fun together, and he nurses you when you're sick. The guy is absolutely perfect. If you don't want him, I'll take him,” she said before half emptying her glass.

“I'm sure Jasper would just love that,” I answered sarcastically.

She huffed in frustration before she continued. “He might have to live with it if he doesn't hurry to propose to me. My patience is running thin. We've been together for four years now. Well, eight if you forget about the off times.”

Although she didn't talk about this a lot, she'd been waiting for Jasper to pop the question for at least a year now. I wasn't sure, but I thought I'd caught a fragment of a conversation between Jasper and Edward the other day when they were talking about jewelers. Of course, I didn't tell Alice, but I would definitely ask Edward about it next time I saw him.

“Alice, I'm sure it's going to happen eventually. Jasper loves you, maybe more than you know, and you two are perfect for each other. He won't risk losing you, not again.”

“I really hope you're right.”

With that, the waitress served our dinner, and for the rest of the evening, we didn't talk about guys anymore.

 

********POMH********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of Emmett? What do you think he was about to reveal when Edward interrupted him? And how did you like the semi-public sex? Has anyone of you ever done something like that? I have to admit that I haven't. That's why I'm writing — to make my fantasies a little more real ;). I know, I gave you a nice Christmas-lemon but I promise you, you'll get an even hotter one for New Year's Eve. Here's a little preview:
> 
> … “You're panting, Bella. Tell me, have you ever done this before?” I could definitely hear the arousal in his voice. … 
> 
> Hmmm, what could that be? Something Bella hasn't ever done before and that gets her all worked up? I'd like to hear your theories.  
> Before I say goodbye for now, I wanted to remind you that you can still vote for The Fandom Choice Awards. Remember, POMH is nominated for Best Erotica. Here's the link:  
> http://thefandomchoiceawards.blogspot.de/p/hrefhttpwww.html?zx=bd9f8a80176330d5  
> I wish you all a very merry Christmas and a wonderful time with your families. See you next week, or in a few days ;).


	16. Outtakes - Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! As I promised, here are the first two outtakes of conversations Edward had with Emmett and Jasper. At first, I had planned to write them and post them once the whole story is over so I wouldn't give anything away. But most of you who reviewed have already known for a while now that Edward has deeper feelings for Bella, although he's never said anything to her. So I don't think I'm spoiling anything if I give you a few outtakes now as a Christmas gift.   
> The two oconversations here both take place after Bella and Edward part ways after their first night together.  
> You need to know that the outtakes are unbeta'd, so all mistakes are mine, and my betas are not to blame. But I was sure you'd rather get them now in addition to this weeks usual chapter instead of waiting and getting them instead of the usual chapter. Because that's what would happened if I'd have them edited before posting them. I hope you'll enjoy reading Edward's thoughts anyway.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight but Santa brought me the BluRay box I wanted ;).

Outtakes – Conversations I (EPOV)

 

“Hey, Ed! Are you tired of the rain already? Or do you miss me so much that you can't go without talking to me for longer than three days?” Emmett greeted me when he picked up the phone, a boisterous laugh following his words.

I had just returned from my night with Bella after Alice and Jasper's party. I'd called him because I felt the need to talk to my best friend and brother, to tell him about the night before. But now that I had him on the other end of the line, I wasn't so sure if I should go through with my plan. I ran my hand through my hair, deliberating if I should really tell him or not. “Hi, Em. How are you?” I decided on procrastinating. I was still too confused to put my feelings into words.

“I'm fine, I always am. You know that. Come on, little bro, I can hear it in your voice. There's something on your mind. Just spit it out. What's wrong?” His deep, calming voice sounded concerned. He was suspicious because I had just called him two days ago, and it was unlike me to call again so soon without a reason.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and blurted out, “I met someone.” Holding my breath, I waited for my brother to react.

Emmett just chuckled. “You moved to a new city. I'm sure you're meeting lots of new people every day.”

I rolled my eyes, frustrated with his lack of seriousness. “I met a woman, smart-ass.”

“Oh, Ed man, no! Not again. I thought you were going to change now that you're far away from the bitch,” he scolded.

“Emmett, listen. It's not like that. _She's_ not like that — not like _them_.” The women I'd been with over the last eighteen months were easy, nameless and mostly faceless. I didn't even bother to exchange more than a few sentences with most of them. This was totally different. “Her name is Bella. She's beautiful and smart and funny. I met her at Jasper's party. She's Alice's best friend. We talked for hours. It was as if we'd known each other forever.” It was quiet after my speech. Emmett seemed to deliberate how to respond to my confession.

“So,” he started after a relatively long silence. “You just talked?”

I knew what I was about to say next would make him doubt my sincerity. “We didn't _just_ talk.”

“Then, what _did_ you do?”

I tugged at my hair, closing my eyes when I answered, “We kissed for a good while and spent the night in Alice and Jasper's guest room.” He knew I hadn't spent the night with a woman since my disastrous break up with Tanya. No matter how drunk I was, I always made sure I spent the night in my own bed — alone.

“So, she's special, huh?” There was reluctance but also a trace of hope in my brother's voice.

A smile broke it's way to my lips, making me feel much lighter. “Yeah, she is. It was amazing.” The kissing alone. I never felt as good just kissing a woman. And then, when we were alone in the guest room, she was so responsive. She fit in my arms like she was meant to be there. We were just perfect together. Nothing I'd ever experienced compared to what happened last night — and this morning.

I heard Emmett's laugh on the other end, making me laugh with him. “I can tell, you have it bad, man. When will you see her again? You know, it's not the easiest thing to start a relationship with a one-night-stand.”

“I'm not sure,” I admitted. “I can tell that she has some experience with casual sex, but still, she comes across as kind of shy. I'm sure she felt something, too, but she's somehow reluctant to make plans with me. She gave me her number, though, and said we'd probably run into each other next week at the agency.” I was a bit worried by her guardedness when we parted, but when I kissed her goodbye, she was more than eager to kiss me back.

“Sounds like you have a bit of a challenge there. As long as you're not going back to your wicked ways, everything's great.” 

I hoped he was right and everything was really great. “If you say so.”

“I do. Just be persistent, but don't pressure her. I'm sure you'll get to her, eventually.” I heard Rosalie yell in the background, then Emmett covered the microphone to answer her. “Ed, I have to go. Mom and Dad are waiting for us to have dinner together. I'll call you again soon. And keep me updated about your lady-friend, okay? Bye, little bro.” 

There were distinctive sounds of Emmett getting dressed, and I didn't want to keep him. “Okay, then. Say hi to Mom, Dad and Rose for me. Talk to you later.” I hung up, hoping that my brother was right with his predictions.

 

****POMH****

 

Monday at noon, I had lunch with Jasper. The night before had been a sequence of dreams about a certain chocolate-eyed brunette. She was in my every thought, and I was eager to maybe learn a little more about her from someone who'd known her for years. Maybe Jasper was able to shed a little light on her initial reluctance to see me again.

We sat in the little diner across the street from the agency, waiting for our order, when Jasper finally started the conversation that I had been waiting for impatiently but dreaded at the same time.

“So, you and Bella, huh?” He turned his water glass around with one hand while the other was tapping lightly on the table. His brows were raised in what might have been surprise or concern, his eyes fixated on the table instead of my face.

I cleared my throat before I answered, “I guess so.” My response was cautious. There were so many things I wanted to ask him but didn't want to give away too much or make him uncomfortable. I guessed he was Bella's friend even more than he was mine at the moment, due to the fact that they spent a lot of time together, while he and I had only seen each other a few times over the last years.

He lifted his gaze from the table, his eyes scanning my face for something. He took a deep breath, then began to speak. “Look, Ed, I don't really know what happened, and I don't know what you think there might be between the two of you. Hell, I don't know what it could be either. I just want to warn you to be careful with Bella.” 

He paused, so I filled the silence. “Why? Does she bite?” I chuckled shortly, amused by his choice of words.

“No, she doesn't bite, she runs.” Again, he stopped speaking for a moment. Once more, he seemed to searched my face for something. 

“What do you mean, she runs? She gave me her number when we said goodbye.” I was confused by his statement. What did she run from?

Jasper's brows furrowed in bewilderment, his head slightly shaking in thought while his eyes were on the table again. “That's new. Why did she … ?” he mumbled to himself, almost too quietly for me to understand. 

I waited silently until he looked up at me again. “Ed, you're my friend, and I want you to know that Bella's like a sister to me. I love her, and I don't want her to get hurt. I've witnessed her hit rock bottom, and it was not a pretty sight.” He seemed to remember something that, by the way he furrowed his brows, was very unpleasant. “She's different with you. I don't know what your intentions are. But, I know about the Tanya aftermath.” I cringed slightly at his words. Every time someone mentioned her, it felt like a slap in my face, reminding me how stupid I'd been. Jasper noticed my discomfort but kept on speaking anyway. “If Bella's one of your long line of rebound hook-ups, I can't blame you. It's not like she hasn't done that before —”

“Stop right there,” I interrupted him. “It's not like that. She's …” I trailed off, looking for the right words to describe what Bella was to me, and all I came up with was the same sappy words I used with my brother. But they were just true. “She's amazing.” I could feel myself smile like an idiot. 

Jasper's formerly serious expression softened as well. “She's amazing, huh?” He chuckled lightly. “Man, I don't know why, but somehow I've seen it coming. Just heed my advice, though. Be careful with her. Don't push her or she will run but don't let her sneak off, either.” He let out a long breath before muttering, “Maybe you're the one to finally break the spell.”

Before I could ask what that was supposed to mean, the waitress brought our food, and the moment was over. After that, Jasper purposely changed the subject, leaving me wondering about the mystery that was Bella.

 

********POMH********

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think? All of you who said Edward loves Bella seem to be right. What about Jasper's advice? Is he a good friend? To both of them or just one?  
> I'm working on two more conversations that took place before Emmett comes to Seattle. I hope I'll get them done before New Year's. Bye


	17. Outtakes - Conversations II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my loyal readers. I finally got the second part of the conversations ready.
> 
> Again, they're unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine alone. As I explained before, this is supposed to be a treat for you in addition to the usual chapter. If it would be edited, it could only be posted instead of it. So I hope you won't mind finding some errors.
> 
> Here are two more conversations Edward and Emmett had before Emmett comes to visit. Enjoy.
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: Twilight's not mine but we all thank SM for giving us her wonderful characters to play with.

Outtakes – Conversations II (EPOV)

 

“Hey, little bro! How are you? What about the ladies, or just one special lady, I hope.” Emmett laughed heartily at his own greeting when he called me on Sunday. I had just come back from driving Bella home after she'd spent the weekend at my apartment when the phone rang.

“Hi, Em. I'm fine. Just coming in,” I said, throwing the keys on the table by the door.

I walked into the living room and sat down on the sofa Bella and I had been sleeping on a few hours ago. Her scent still lingered on the cushions. The realization made me smile to myself. A little bit of her was staying with me.

“So, any news about you and your lady-love? Have you seen her again?” He chuckled humorously but I could tell that there was hopefulness in his tone.

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes to revel in Bella's wonderful scent, before I answered my brother's question. “We had lunch together on Wednesday after we kind of ran into each other at work. And we went to a club with Alice and Jasper on Friday.”

“Do I have to come over there and put you into a headlock to make you tell me more?” When we were kids, he always knew how to beat information out of me.

I laughed to myself at the memory. “No, you don't. What do you want to know?”

“Well, lunch on Wednesday, I guess that's kind of dull. But what happened Friday night? _Did_ anything happen?” He could really be a nosy sonofabitch.

“I took her home with me Friday night. Yesterday, she helped me paint my guest room, and in the evening, we fell asleep on the couch. So she stayed until this morning.” 

Emmett's response was a loud chuckle. I smiled as well, then turned serious again. “I told her about Tanya and everything that's happened after that.”

His amusement faded at once. “You told her about Tanya? Why did you do that? How did she react?”

“Bella found a few notes from Tanya and was afraid I was using her to cheat on my girlfriend. So I told her the truth. She was sympathetic. It seemed like she could relate to the situation.” I thought back to our conversation the morning before, remembering her rigorous refusal to participate in cheating. But somehow I had the feeling that she hadn't just been cheated on. “Unfortunately, the only information she was willing to share with me is that her longest relationship only lasted six months. She said, she doesn't do relationships anymore.” I frowned to myself at the memory of her statement. Although she sounded serious when she said it, I was still sure that what I was feeling for her was not one-sided. There was something special between us, and I wasn't giving up on the chance of turning our affair into a relationship.

“That sucks, man. What are you going to do now? I mean, you're head over heals for the girl. You can't just let her get away.” Even though Emmett was a natural clown, he knew when to be serious, and I loved how he always tried to help me.

I ran my hand through my hair, tugging at the ends. “I won't. I talked to Jasper. He more or less told me that Bella's been hurt badly and that she doesn't let anyone come close. I think I'll play along with whatever she wants us to be. Hopefully, she'll eventually see that we're great together. I just can't push her or otherwise she might run.” I knew that it would become harder to keep up the friends-act the deeper I'd fall for her. But I was already in way too deep to find an easy way out. Every one of my waking thoughts was revolving around her, and at night, she was constantly starring in my dreams. I'd never felt like this before, never so soon and never ever so deeply. 

“I'll try to be persistent without smothering her and hope that, one day, she'll realize that she loves me, too.” I smiled to myself again before adding one more thing without thinking about it. “I can't help picturing my ring on her finger one day.” 

Emmett sighed deeply, then chuckled with amusement, again. “Wow. You have it really bad. Love, marriage. I can't wait to meet that wonderful creature. Did I tell you that I'll be in Seattle on business two weeks from now? I hope you'll introduce me to my future sister-in-law.” 

This time, I was the one who laughed. “I'm happy to see you again so soon. The guest room will be ready by then.”

“What about Bella?”

“What about her?”

“Will I meet her?” He was serious again. “She's important to you. I want to get to know her a little bit.”

He was right. She was very important to me, and I wanted the two of them to meet. But I knew that Emmett could be very intimidating and sometimes he was in desperate need of a verbal filter.

“If you promise to not scare her away with some ill-conceived comment, then I think I'll introduce you two.”

“Great, I'll see you in two weeks. I gotta go now. Rose is urging me to hang up. Take care little bro. We'll talk later.” 

I ended the conversation, saying, “Yeah, we'll talk later. Bye.”

 

****POMH****

 

It was the night before my brother arrived in Seattle to spend the weekend with me.

“Hey, Em. How's it going? Are you all packed and ready to go in the morning?” I greeted him when he picked up his phone after the second ring.

“Hey, little bro. Yeah. I was just about to take my wife to bed and give her something to remember me by if you know what I mean.” He laughed his signature dirty laugh.

Of course I knew what he meant. After all, my room in our parents' house had been right next to his, and I was subjected to their noisy and vocal love-making more times than I'd like to remember. 

“Spare me the details, please. I'm just calling to go over the plans for the weekend again. When will you be landing?” I was in the guest room, putting the finishing touches on the fold-out sofa I had already turned into a bed for my brother's stay with me.

“Uhm,” I heard some papers rustle on the other end of the line. “Seven-thirty tomorrow morning. I'll be picked up by my business contact. Our meeting will take until four in the afternoon. Then I'm free until my flight leaves at three p.m. on Sunday.”

I left the guest room and went to the living room to sit down on the couch. “That's great. Is there anything in particular that you want to do?”

“The only thing I really want to do is meet the mother of my future nieces and nephews. Did you make plans for that?” He sounded too enthusiastic about the prospect of meeting Bella. That made me afraid he could give away something I didn't want her to know yet.

“We'll go out with Bella, Alice and Jasper tomorrow night. So, yes, you'll meet her. But Emmett, please, don't make her feel uncomfortable. You know, she doesn't know how serious I am about her. If she knew, she'd feel threatened and stay away from me.” Up until now, my plan to ease her into a relationship with me was going great. After she had told me about Jacob last week, I finally understood her reluctance to open herself up to maybe be hurt again. I felt the strong urge to hunt Jacob Black down and kill him for treating her like he had. 

I was glad she had confided in me, and that later, she had agreed to have an exclusive sexual relationship with me. I knew that she wasn't ready to be my girlfriend, let alone hear that I loved her, but I was sure by now that she was most afraid of calling what we had a relationship. She wasn't aware that we had been acting the part for a while now. And I knew she didn't mind. She was just scared to put a label on _us_. 

I was willing to take whatever part of her she was willing to give me. I was okay to wait for her to get ready to make _us_ official, hoping that eventually we'd be on the same page. But I couldn't take seeing her with other guys the way I had Friday night. So I had to do something about it. Knowing what I did, I had been sure she wouldn't mind being exclusive with me.

She had opened up to me considerably since she let me in on her past. She even agreed to go to dinner with me. Again, she was afraid of the label, of calling it a date. So I didn't. It didn't matter what we named it. It was a romantic evening with someone I cared about a lot. So that made it a date in my book.

And yesterday, when I came over to her apartment to take care of her when she was sick, she didn't object either. She even invited me to hold her when she was feeling cold. She was making small baby steps in the right direction, in my direction.

“Now what would I do to make her uncomfortable?” My brother's theatrically hurt-sounding voice ended my inner monologue. 

I ran my hand through my hair as I answered him, “Yeah, like you wouldn't find a way to do that. Seriously, she's afraid of letting a guy get close enough to hurt her. So I let her think we're just friends with benefits. Please, don't say anything to indicate that I want more from her.” 

“I promise you that I'll try, okay?” He sounded serious, and I knew that was the most I could get from him. Emmett was a loose gun, and him _trying_ to keep something to himself was all he could promise. He didn't always think before he spoke.

“Thanks, Em. I can't wait to see you again. I'm missing all of you.” I really did. But I had to admit to myself that there was a downside to my brother staying with me for the weekend. His presence in my apartment made it impossible for me to spend a night with Bella. This would be the first weekend since I met her that we wouldn't spend at least one night together. I was already missing her in my bed.

My brother laughed loudly at my confession. “You'll be able to make it one more night without me, won't you? You could call your little friend to come over and stay over if you're lonely. I'm sure she wouldn't mind.”

“Shut up. Go, fuck Rosalie's brains out and leave me alone,” I spat while he was chuckling at his own words.

“That I'll do for sure.” He laughed even louder. “I'm missing you, too. See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.” I hung up, hoping that Emmett wouldn't screw things up between Bella and me.

 

*******POMH********

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the little insight into Edward's mind. He's been in love with Bella all along but he hasn't said a word to her yet. So Bella has no reason to doubt him when he says he only wants to be friends with benefits. Anyway, they'll be getting considerably closer from chapter to chapter now. Hope to meet you all again on New Year's Eve when chapter 16 which is named “Do you trust me?” will be posted. Bye


	18. Chapter 16 - Do You Trust Me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi out there. I'm glad you're back for the last chapter in 2013. Do you all have plans to do something fun tonight?
> 
> There's not much to say about this chapter other than it's really hot — and long. I'm sure you'll like it.
> 
> Once again, I want to shout out a loud “thank you” to my betas evelyn-shaye and EdwardsMate4ever. I love you, ladies. You're doing such a great job. I also want to thank my prereader Vampgirl79 and very one who reviews regularly. You're all giving me so much support.
> 
> Now, go on and enjoy chapter 16.
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: Twilight's not mine. But I'm very glad SM lets me play with it.

 Chapter 16 – Do you trust me?

 

“Hey, beautiful. How was your night out with Alice?” Edward's velvety voice sounded out of my cell phone.

I smiled to myself as I answered, “Hey, handsome. It started out with an interrogation about the time we were missing Friday night, then Alice shared her thoughts about dating you if Jasper doesn't propose to her in time. But the rest of the evening was actually nice.”

I heard his wonderful laugh on the other end of the line. “Unfortunately, I have no intentions to change anything about my current dating situation. I have all my needs covered right now. So, sorry, but Alice has to stick with Jasper.” He sounded amused and very happy.

“How was the boy's night out?”

“The usual. The game, a few beers, and of course, I had to give them some answers about Friday night, too.” It was strange how natural it felt to just chat with him about nothing in particular. “But Emmett's on a plane to Chicago right now, and I wanted to ask you what you were doing tonight.”

I didn't know what he had planned, but whatever it was, I was game. “Nothing so far.”

“Great. Would you like to come with me and watch _Skyfall_? I mean, since we missed it on Wednesday.” His tone was careful. He probably remembered the last time I'd freaked out on him when I'd thought he was asking me out.

Although this could easily qualify as a date, I didn't have to think twice about it this time. We had made the nature of our relationship — or should I say friendship — clear, and there was no reason to say no.

“Of course. Where and when?”

I thought I heard a relieved exhale before he answered my question, and had to keep myself from laughing. “The movie starts at eight-thirty. I'd say I pick you up at seven, and we'll grab a burger before.”

“Sounds like a plan. See you tonight,” I said with an enthusiasm I didn't really understand, and hung up.

 

****POMH****

 

Since it was going to be a casual night out with a friend, I didn't dress up. Although there had so far not been any occasion when I met Edward and didn't feel the magical erotic tension between us, and I was definitely hoping the evening would end in one bed or another, it would have looked strange, going to a diner and a movie theater dressed up in sexy club attire.

So, instead of a skirt and heels, I decided to wear blue skinny jeans, a tight, dark blue v-neck sweater, and my beloved black Converse. I completed the outfit with a white scarf decorated in a pattern of small, dark blue flowers to hide my hickey. My hair was down and fell in loose waves over my shoulders.

When I opened the door, I was surprised to find that Edward had opted for an outfit matching mine — blue jeans, a blue shirt and sneakers.

“Hey, beautiful. Are you ready to go?” he asked as a greeting while he embraced me gently.

As usual, his touch set my whole body on fire, and I wanted nothing more than for him to throw me on the bed and do whatever he wanted with me. But instead of making a move on him, I decided to play it cool.

“Hi, Edward. Yes, I'm ready.” I grabbed my jacket and locked the door behind me.

“Was Alice's interrogation very bad?” he asked as he started his Volvo and pulled out of his parking spot.

I frowned for a second, remembering our slightly embarrassing conversation. “She wanted to know where we were. Since my neck made it kind of obvious what we were doing.” Again my hand reached for said spot, kind of caressing the dark-blue bruise.

“I'm very sorry about that,” he said. His brows furrowed in what looked like true remorse.

I waved him off. “Nevermind. It's a nice change. I've never sported a hickey before in my life,” I said nonchalantly.

“And I've never been so careless that I left one. I must have been very distracted.” He smiled a brilliantly wicked smile. “To make up for it, how about you give me one, too, next time?”

I chuckled once before I answered. “You don't have to offer twice. I've always wanted to do that.”

A few minutes later, Edward pulled into the underground parking lot that belonged to the movie theater. After he bought two tickets for James Bond, we walked a few yards to a diner down the street.

“What was that earlier about Alice wanting to date me?” he said with a laugh as soon as we had ordered our burgers.

“It was a stupid joke. She just had to vent about her frustrations waiting for Jasper to propose. By the way, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that?” I asked, taking a sip of my Coke the waitress had just brought.

He looked as innocent as a toddler who was caught with his hands in the cookie jar. “Me? Why would I know anything about that?” He sure as hell couldn't fool me.

“Because I overheard you and Jasper talking about jewelers the other day.” I looked him in the eye, waiting, trying to coax the secret out of him.

He sighed theatrically. “Then there's no use in denying it, huh? Jasper bought a ring last week. On Thanksgiving, he's going to ask her father's permission. Then, on Christmas or New Year's Eve — he hasn't decided yet — he'll ask her. But you can't tell her,” he said lowly. He stared intently at me, seemingly worried about letting me in on the secret.

“Of course not. I wouldn't spoil the surprise.” Alice was my best friend, and I would never ruin that very special moment for her.

The waitress came serving our burgers, interrupting our conversation for only a few seconds.

“Speaking of Thanksgiving, what are you doing next Thursday?” Edward asked before taking the first bite.

“I'll be in Forks, having dinner with Charlie and Sue, like every year. Why do you ask?” I raised my brow suspiciously.

He didn't look at me when he answered. “Just out of curiosity. I thought you might be in town and we could maybe have dinner together.” He tried to make it sound like nothing, but I knew him well enough to see that he was disappointed.

“Won't you be in Chicago with your family?” I asked, totally surprised.

“No, I can't go. I have an important meeting on Wednesday, and I have to attend a dinner with a client Friday night. So I don't have enough time to fly to Chicago and back.” He took another bite, trying not to show his feelings.

I felt my face fall. “I'm really sorry to hear that.”

“Nevermind. I'll just order take-out and watch the game.” He put a little bit too much effort into sounding cheery.

I started to speak without thinking about it twice. “No, you won't. You'll come with me to Forks. I'll call Sue tomorrow, saying I'll be bringing a friend.” He was my friend, and I would be damned if I let him be alone, away from his beloved family, on Thanksgiving.

“Won't that be a little awkward?” he asked, suddenly insecure.

I attempted to seem more confident than I actually was. “No, it won't. Sue will understand. The only downside is, you'll have to sleep on the ancient couch in the living room. But I'll go to Forks Wednesday afternoon, and I'm coming back to Seattle Friday morning. So it will neatly fit into your schedule.” Suddenly, I was excited to take Edward with me to celebrate with my family. It would definitely be a change from the usual kind of boring Thanksgiving routine we exercised every year.

“If it's no trouble … “ he started, raising an eyebrow.

“No trouble at all. I'll pick you up Wednesday after work.”

“No, if you invite me, then at least I'll drive. I'll be at your apartment Wednesday afternoon at four, if that's alright. You once told me it's a three-hour-drive to Forks, and I guess you want to be there in time for dinner.” He was determined to do it his way. So, I didn't object.

After we had finished our dinner, we had enough time to stroll over to the movie theater at a leisurely pace.

“It was nice to meet your brother. I guess you were happy to have him around for the weekend,” I commented as we left the diner.

Edward's face only showed the slightest amount of sadness. “Yes, it was. Back in Chicago, my family met at least once a week.”

“That's nice. So, having Emmett here was a bit of a compensation for missing your parents?” I looked up to see his reaction.

He seemed to deliberate something before he answered me. “Yeah. But, to be honest, I was also happy to see him leave again.” He smiled ruefully at this confession.

“Why is that? I thought you two were close?” Confusion must have been written all over my face.

“Having him there kind of messed up my routines,” he stated with a half-smile.

After looking at my bewildered expression, he elaborated, “My bed was very cold and empty this weekend.” His sparkling eyes gazed into mine.

“So was mine,” I admitted, puzzled by the fact that I had said it out loud.

We reached the theater in time. Edward bought a big bucket of popcorn which he positioned between the two of us. The movie started just when we had taken our seats. It was a typical James Bond movie, apart from the fact that Daniel Craig cried. If Alice hadn't warned me about that strange detail before, I would have been very disturbed.

Throughout the whole movie, we sat next to each other, my hands in my lap while Edward's arm rested between us, ready for me to hold his hand if I wanted to but not forcing any contact.

Every now and then, our hands would meet in the popcorn bucket which had us smiling at each other each time.

The film was entertaining, but as usual, when Edward and I were together in the same room, electricity buzzed, and the tension rose tangibly.

After the credits were through, we left the theater, took the elevator down to the garage, and walked up to the Volvo. Just when Edward opened the passenger door for me, all of a sudden, he pinned me against the car, capturing my mouth in a fiery kiss. His soft lips locked with mine, and a second later, his eager tongue begged my mouth for permission to enter. Caught by the sudden wave of passion ripping through us, I complied without delay, my own fervent tongue meeting his halfway, starting a teasing swirl like both of us had been starving for months.

“I missed you this weekend. My brother's fun, but you're _fun_ ,” Edward breathed against my skin as he broke away for air.

Wetness started to pool between my thighs in anticipation of the sort of “fun” we could be having later, and my center began to throb with desire.

“Remember, you wanted to make something up to me?” I suggested into our fevered lip lock.

“My place?” he choked out without leaving my mouth.

I just nodded. To my great dismay, he pulled away, waiting for me to get in the car, and closed the door. Then he sat down in the driver's seat. He turned to me, leaned over, and kissed me again for a long moment before we sped out of the garage.

Suddenly an idea hit me — something I'd always wanted to do. With a mischievous grin, I turned to Edward, placing my hand on his thigh, then moving north until I reached his crotch. Feeling his excitement there, I squeezed lightly, making him breathe out an aroused moan. Spurred by his reaction, I quickly unzipped him, slipped my hand inside his jeans and boxer briefs, and wrapped my fingers around his solid hard-on.

My grin widened as Edward's eyes popped wide open.

“Bella, if you want me to get you to my apartment in one piece, you should stop this.” The effort it took him to make his words sound composed was obvious.

Shaking my head, I assured him, “I trust you. You're a good driver.” I bent over, and without a moment's hesitation, licked his tip with my tongue. Oh, the taste of his cock combined with another tortured moan that escaped his throat turned me on and made my center ache with need.

“Bella.” Edward's breath sped up. “You really shouldn't … “

Before he had the time to say another word, I wrapped my lips around his hardness and started to move my head down and up again in a slow, sensual rhythm.

“Oh my God. This feels so fucking good. Uh, you have to stop.” He laid his right hand on my head and started to halfheartedly pull at my hair in an attempt to make me let go of him.

Determinedly ignoring his interferences, I let my mouth and tongue continue to pleasure his delicious dick. I took as much of him in my mouth as possible, before almost letting go and then slipping him in again.

After a few minutes, I noticed the car coming to a halt as Edward relaxed perceptibly. His hand that had been trying to stop me was now stroking my head gently while his moans became louder and more excited.

I removed my seat belt I had still kept buckled and turned to fully attend to the work at hand.

Now that his attention was completely on me and my ministrations, I increased the intensity with which I sucked him and let my tongue swirl around him. His taste and the feeling of his rock hard erection in my mouth made me crazy with desire.

“Oh, Bella, baby, yes, just like that, yes,” Edward panted heavily, and a few seconds later, accompanied by “Ah, fuck, yes, oh yes,” he released into my very willing mouth. As if I was dying of thirst, I swallowed his liquid eagerly, licking everything up to the last drop.

When I sat up straight again, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I couldn't hide the smug smile that was forming on my lips. “Sorry for the inconvenience, but I've always wanted to try this.”

“Wait until we're upstairs. Then I'll show you what _I've_ always wanted to do,” he replied with a wicked grin.

 

****POHM****

 

“Do you trust me, Bella?” Edward's husky voice purred into my ear as soon as we were inside his apartment.

“Yes, I do,” I answered him lowly as the walls of my core tightened in anticipation. I hadn't thought about it before, but I trusted Edward more than I'd ever imagined trusting a man.

Skillfully, his hands untied the knot that held the scarf around my neck, and a moment later, my eyes were closed, the scarf tied around my head as a blindfold. The feeling of being blind, only relying on my other senses and completely at Edward's mercy, made my breathing ragged.

He stayed behind me, wrapped his arms around my waist, and started to guide me to the bedroom. I had spent enough time in this apartment to at least find my way to every room without my sense of sight.

“You're panting, Bella. Tell me, have you ever done this before?” I could definitely hear the arousal in his voice.

“No,” I choked out. And I wouldn't have, considering the lack of trust with everyone else. So many things I did with Edward were a first for me. “But I've fantasized about it.”

He chuckled lightly right next to my ear. His warm breath washing over my sensitive skin caused goosebumps to spread all over my body. “Then I'll do my best to live up to those.”

I heard the bedroom door close behind us quietly before Edward's lips planted a soft kiss on my neck, just below my right earlobe. I felt that my remaining senses were greatly heightened by my loss of sight. His mouth and tongue that made a slow trail down my neck felt like the sweetest caress I'd ever received. He put his hands on my shoulders and gently turned me to face him as his lips continued to nibble my throat.

“Raise your hands up in the air,” he requested as his hands grabbed the hem of my sweater. I complied at once, and he proceeded to undress my upper body by pulling the sweater over my head.

As my hands came back down again, they landed in the center of his chest. Without wasting any time, my fingers started to slowly unbutton his shirt. When the last of them was undone, Edward shrugged his shoulders, and the shirt fell down. In my state of blindness, I even heard it touch the ground.

After that part was done, my hands returned to his now bare chest, resting there for a moment before I let them slowly wander down to his stomach, my fingertips savoring the wonderful feeling of his warm, soft skin.

By instinct, I leaned over, and after planting a careful kiss in the center of his chest, my lips kissed their way to the left until they found his nipple. One of Edward's hands went to the back of my head to weave through my hair while the other one touched my hip and pulled me close to him.

My tongue began to draw small, wet circles around the erect little bud. His body stiffened in response and he made a quiet moaning sound. My hands grabbed the waistband of Edward's jeans as he stroked up and down my bare back. Concentrating intensely on what I was doing, I unbuckled his belt, opened the button and zipper and pulled the garment down to his ankles. Aware of my slight incapacitation, Edward bent down, took off his shoes and socks and stepped out of his pants.

Standing in front of me again, he mirrored my actions, stripping me of my jeans as well. Unable to see anything, I felt every inch of my skin that was being bared. As soon as I had climbed out of my pants, Edward stood up straight again. The heat emanating from him warmed my entire front. His hands around my waist, he pulled me close until my bra touched his upper stomach.

I felt his breath on my face intensifying as he leaned closer, before his warm lips finally touched mine. His fiery tongue trailed along my lower lip, causing me to open my mouth as my own tongue darted out to meet his. Not even my very first kiss had felt as exciting as this one. Our lips moved slowly but determinedly while our tongues did a passionate dance.

Without any haste, Edward's hands traveled upward, and in one movement unhooked my bra. Then he placed both hands on my shoulders and gently guided the straps down my arms.

As soon as they were free again, my hands found his boxer briefs and tugged at them so that they glided down to his feet. I made an attempt to go down on my knees to pleasure Edward with my mouth again, when his hands took my chin in a firm but gentle grip, holding me upright.

“No, no, no. This is all about you. At least for now,” he said in a quiet, seductive voice as he took my hand and guided me over to his bed.

“Lie down,” he requested the moment the back of my thighs touched the mattress. I did as I was told, sitting down first, then scooting to where I thought was the center of the bed. There I lay flat on my back.

I felt Edward's weight on the edge of the mattress, moving in closer before his hands were at my panties, got hold of the waistband and pulled them down unhurriedly.

On the way back up, he placed his hands on my ankles and very slowly let them glide up over my knees and thighs, my hipbones, then my stomach until they reached my breasts. I felt him hover over me, one leg between mine, his weight probably resting on his elbow.

“Hmm, baby, you have the most beautiful and delicious tits I've ever seen,” his husky voice whispered thick with lust before his slightly parted lips brushed first over my left then my right nipple. As a result, my whole body shivered lightly while wetness started to flow free from my very ready center.

The next thing I felt was Edward's teeth gently biting my nipple. I gasped in response, followed by a deep groan as he started nibbling leisurely. His right hand cupped my left breast, his fingers pinching the tip. After a moment, he started to suck on the one side and squeezing harder on the other. These sensations alone, heightened by the deprivation of my sense of sight, almost made me come.

Before too long, Edward's lips left as his hands moved south again, leaving a hot trail in their wake. Slowly stroking my thighs, they finally arrived at my knees, pushing them apart determinedly.

I felt the air touch my sex as I was lying in front of Edward, waiting for him to act out his ideas.

The second his fingertip swept over my very sensitive folds, he asked with amusement as well as arousal in his voice, “Do you like your fantasy so far?” Although I had been anticipating his touch, I was startled when I finally felt it. Again, I was close to coming undone by that alone.

“Hmmm,” I moaned way too loudly for my overactive ears. “Oh, yes.”

He chuckled wickedly as his finger moved in small circles at my entrance. “I noticed. And I love to see you like that. Naked, at my disposal, and waiting for me to make you come.”

He removed his finger to put his hands on my knees once again, holding them down. A moment later, I felt his hot tongue lick along my cleft.

“You taste so fucking good,” he groaned, then he slowly but purposefully started to lick my peak. Deprived of my sight, I acutely felt every millimeter he addressed. First, he drew small circles, causing hot waves to run up and down my body. All the while, his thumbs held my lips spread wide open for his mouth to work its miracles. Then he stopped circling to lap his tongue over my bud, always upwards, then stopping and upwards again.

Incapacitated by this whole sensory overload, my arms had been resting on the sides of my body the whole time. But as my moans became louder and eventually shifted to pants, my fingers found their way to Edward's soft hair, grabbing a few strands.

Then, all of a sudden, he slipped one, no, two of his long, elegant fingers inside me, starting to push them back and forth again while his ravenous mouth began to suck my clit hard.

“Oh my God, yes, Edward, please, don't stop,” I whispered huskily as my hands held his hair in a tight grip, pulling his head closer to my aching center.

My whole body seemed to consist only of my loins at that point. I felt nothing other than Edward's fingers pounding my center and his mouth trying to suck my peak in as deep as possible. Before too long, I felt everything around me disappear as a wave of pure pleasure washed over me. I trembled violently while I was experiencing one of the most impressive orgasms of my life.

I panted heavily, and my eardrums almost burst with the noises that came out of my own throat.

When my muscles stopped contracting frantically, Edward let go of me for now. I noticed that he bent to the side, and as he came back to hover over me, I thought I heard a condom wrapper being ripped open.

A moment later, I felt his ready cock positioned at my entrance. But instead of thrusting inside, Edward moved his hips, letting his tip glide to one side and then to the other side, brushing my throbbing sex every time.

I sighed loudly in deep frustration. At this point I wanted, no, I _needed_ him inside me badly. His attempts at delaying the final act were simply torture. Although I couldn't see him, I knew there was an evil grin on his beautiful face right now.

Right then, I was so desperate to feel him that I wasn't too ashamed to beg. “Edward, please, just fuck me, now. The suspense is killing me.”

“Oh, baby, when you ask so nicely, who am I to refuse.” With these words, he slid his length inside me, achingly slowly. My very moist walls expanded to accommodate the intruder.

“Oh, yeah,” I choked out. He felt so right where he was.

Then he started to move his hips, thrusting his hardness deep inside me. His lips were on my throat, all of a sudden, while my arms were around his neck, anchoring myself to him. Our bodies were covered by a sheen of sweat while his hips slammed against my body faster and harder. His hands that had been holding my shoulder blades glided down my sides until they rested on my ass, lifting me off the mattress.

“Ahh, oh my God. That feels so good,” I moaned out at the new sensation of him thrusting into me at the changed angle. “Deeper,” I added before he picked up speed and force, driving me over the edge before I had realized that a climax was coming.

“Yeah, baby, come for me, oh yes,” Edward panted as my mind blanked out, and I felt nothing but fireworks exploding in every part of my being. Almost drowned out by my own ecstasy, I very distantly heard Edward pant faster, letting out a stream of profanities as he came, too.

A few moments later, I felt his warm, gentle lips on mine, his tongue nudging mine tenderly in a passionate but affectionate lip-lock. Finally his hands removed my blindfold, and as my eyes freed themselves from the blur, I looked into his beautiful, sparkling green eyes.

“You forgot something,” Edward said mischievously. My mind was still too consumed with my post orgasmic bliss to focus on whatever he could be talking about.

Seeing the confusion on my face, he grinned even wider. “You wanted to give me a hickey.”

“Oh, that.” I deliberated for a moment, then decided it wouldn't really be that much fun if I were to do it now, totally out of context. “I think we better postpone that. I don't think my father would be very amused to meet my good friend who shows visible signs of recent sexual activity. And I doubt the bruise would be gone by Thursday.”

He faked disappointment. “Okay, then we take a rain check.”

He rolled off me to lie on his back, and pulled me with him, my head resting on his chest.

“Do you have to work early tomorrow? Or can you stay?” The question sounded nonchalant, but I knew that we both wanted me to stay over.

“No, my first appointment is around noon. I'll take a taxi,” I said as I snuggled closer to Edward.

 

****POMH****

 

When my mind slowly regained consciousness, I felt that my limbs were in desperate need to be stretched. As I did so, I noticed that something was off. I was not in my bed — not even in my apartment. But that alone was not a problem. I knew where I was. Just the fact that I seemed to be all by myself in this big, comfortable bed I knew quite well by now somehow felt wrong.

The curtains were still drawn so the room was rather dark. My hand reached out, touching the other half of the bed, which appeared to be empty. Then, on the pillow I felt something, a piece of paper as it seemed. I turned around to light the lamp in the nightstand.

 

_Good morning, beautiful,_

 

_Sorry that I left without a word but it was still early, and you were looking so cute cuddled up in my bed that I didn't have the heart to wake you. Please, feel at home and help yourself to anything you want or need._

_Talk to you later._

 

_Bye_

_E._

 

After rereading the message twice, I reluctantly got out of bed and went to take a shower in this apartment I already — misleadingly — felt too much at home in.

 

********POMH********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to admit that I haven't seen Skyfall myself, but my hubby has, and everything I wrote about it came from him.
> 
> What do you think? Bella invited Edward to go home with her for Thanksgiving. How might that go? I'll only tell you that it will be fun as well as a little heavy. Here's a teaser:
> 
>  
> 
> … My dad narrowed his eyes at my friend, then eyed his out-stretched hand suspiciously before he shook it reluctantly, mumbling, “Well, oddly enough, we haven't heard anything about you until earlier this week.” …
> 
>  
> 
> So, Charlie seems to be a little difficult. That will be interesting. See you next week. Happy New Year!


	19. Chapter 17 - Meet the Parents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi ladies. I hope 2014 started well for all of you.
> 
> So, it's the first Tuesday this year and there's a new chapter for you. Thanks to my betas EdwardsMate4ever and evelyn-shaye it's remotely worth reading. I also want to thank my friend and prereader Vampgirl79 for always being there for me and really having my back.
> 
> Now, enjoy Edward meeting Charlie and Sue. I'll see you at the bottom with an announcement.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight this year any more than I did last year.

Chapter 17 – Meet the parents

 

Wednesday night, we were on our way to Forks.

“What did you tell them about me, again?” Edward asked when we were just a few miles away.

I had answered that exact same question at least ten times already. “That you are a good friend who can't spend Thanksgiving with his family, so I invited you to be with us.” He was uncharacteristically nervous tonight.

“And what else do they know about me?” His forehead showed distinct lines of worry.

“Not much. That you're from Chicago and that you work with Jasper.” I didn't think that there was much more they needed to know.

“So, you didn't tell them …“ He paused, unsure about how to go on.

I smiled with amusement. “If you're asking whether they're aware of the fact that we know each other in the biblical sense, then the answer is no. I don't share stuff like that with either of them.” Every time I came for a visit, Charlie and Sue hoped for some news about my love life, but I always answered evasively. “Relax. They don't bite. My dad can be difficult sometimes, but Sue's really nice. And you two have something in common.”

Edward raised his brow questioningly. “And what might that be?”

“Who do you think introduced me to Elvis' movies? Sue knows every line spoken in every movie by heart.” It was true. When I was a child, I'd spent many hours keeping her company while she watched her celebrity crush act and sing.

“Well, that's a good starting point. You should have told me before. Then maybe I would have bought her something other than flowers.”

Edward had insisted on bringing Charlie and Sue presents as a thank-you for inviting him. For my dad, he had bought the latest issue of some guide to fishing in Washington I couldn't remember the name. And for Sue, he had purchased a ridiculously big bouquet of flowers that was lying on the backseat.

“So, this is it. The hick town I was born and raised in,” I informed Edward as we left the 101.

He took an exaggerated look around. “This is really something. I didn't know places like this still existed,” he teased when we drove into town.

“For someone who has been living in Chicago most of his life, it must seem quite dull. When we were teenagers, we considered it very boring, but it's my home, and I love it.”

Edward smiled at me heartily as he pulled into the street where my father lived. “You should. It's lovely in its own way.”

After getting out of the car, he insisted on carrying both our bags as well as the flowers and the gift bag with the book for Charlie.

“Hello, anyone home?” I asked as I entered the house with Edward in tow.

Sue greeted me, coming out of the kitchen to hug me hello. “Hi, honey. I didn't think you'd be here so early.”

“Sue, this is my friend, Edward Cullen,” I said when we parted, gesturing toward the man next to me.

Sue's eyes opened a little wider as she looked at him, taking his extended hand and shaking it. “Hi, Edward. Nice to meet you. I'm Sue. You're very welcome here in our home.”

He smiled his lopsided smile when he replied, “Nice to meet you, too, and thank you for inviting me. I brought you a little something as a thank-you.” He was handing her the flowers, and just that minute, Charlie came down the stairs.

“Hey, Bells. You're early. I hope you didn't speed again,” he teased as he wrapped his right arm around me. I hugged him back, saying, “No, we didn't speed. Edward drove, and he's a very safe driver.” As the words were out, images of our drive from the movie theater to his apartment Sunday night appeared before my eyes, and I had to hold back a nervous giggle.

“Then you must be Edward, I guess?” Charlie asked gruffly, staring at Edward.

Again, Edward extended a hand, this time for Charlie to shake. “Yes, Chief Swan, I'm Edward Cullen. It's nice to meet you. I've already heard so much about you.”

My dad narrowed his eyes at my friend, then eyed his out-stretched hand suspiciously before he shook it reluctantly, mumbling, “Well, oddly enough, we haven't heard anything about _you_ until earlier this week.”

“Dad, that's because Edward only moved to Seattle a few weeks ago. And I was very busy. Didn't have a lot of time to talk to you recently.” Of course, he had to be difficult. I didn't want to imagine what would happen if I ever were to bring a boyfriend home to meet him.

“Charlie, ease up. You're acting as if Bella were bringing a criminal into your house. Edward's her friend, and he's welcome here. By the way, thank you for the beautiful flowers. But you shouldn't have. We're happy to have a friend of Bella's here.” She smelled the flowers, smiling at Edward. “Guys, we don't have to stand in the hall. Go into the living room and make yourselves comfortable.” With that, Sue urged us out of the hall and vanished to the kitchen again, leaving us with Charlie.

“So, can I get you anything, Edward?” my dad asked awkwardly.

Edward took the offered seat on the couch. “No, thank you, Chief Swan. I'm fine.”

“You can call me Charlie.” I exhaled, relieved that he seemed to be done scaring Edward.

“Thank you, Charlie,” he said, sounding relieved, too. “By the way, I brought you something, too. You know, for having me here.” He handed Charlie the bag with the book. My dad took it, furrowing his brows, before he decided to take a look inside.

“Wow, Moon's _Washington Fishing_ , the latest issue. Thank you, Edward. How did you know … “

Edward beamed at Charlie's obvious joy. “Bella told me that you loved fishing. So I thought you might not have it yet, since the new issue was only released last year.”

“Well, thank you. This wasn't necessary, though. You're the first guy Bella ever asked to bring home. How could we deny her?” His words were sincere and genuine but made me feel quite uncomfortable.

“Dad, you know that Edward's not my boyfriend, right? I told you that.” I knew Charlie would turn everything around and silently wait for Edward to ask him for my hand in marriage. This was totally embarrassing. We were friends, and Edward had assured me on more than one occasion that this was exactly what he wanted, too.

“Yes, Bells, that's what you told us. But what I said is true, no less.”

“Guys, dinner's ready, and the table's set. Are you coming?” Sue's voice sounded over from the kitchen.

Charlie and Edward simultaneously rose from their seats.

“After you,” Charlie told us, smiling at Edward and me.

 

****POMH****

 

Sue started her inquisition as soon as she and I were alone in the kitchen, washing the dishes. “He's really nice.”

“Yes, he is,” I simply answered.

She handed me a plate to dry. “He's a friend of Jasper's, you said? Why didn't you meet him before, then?”

“He'd never been to Seattle before he thought about accepting the job offer. And I've never been to Chicago. Alice has known Edward for a while, though.” I put the now-dry plate in the open cupboard, taking the next one to towel it.

“And there's really nothing going on between the two of you? I mean, he's handsome and sweet. He was a total gentleman tonight. He even pulled out your chair for you. Normally, women love that.” Sue put a handful of washed utensils down next to the sink.

I frowned, having to explain everything again. “No, we're friends.” She was right, he was everything she'd just described, and he was really very attentive toward me. But still, just a friend.

“I thought maybe it was he who gave you that hickey you're trying to hide.” Sue smiled at me knowingly.

My hand flew up to my neck that was covered by a black turtleneck. How could she know? It wasn't even that visible anymore. For tomorrow, I had planned to wear a simple shirt, not hiding my neck anymore.

“Uhm, no. There's nothing,” I lied, completely aware of the fact that Sue would see through it, but instead of digging for further information, she just let it go.

She sighed before she pulled the plug in the sink, saying, “That's sad. He's so nice.”

A few minutes later, we were done with the dishes, and I strolled over to the living room, expecting to find Charlie and Edward watching a game on the flat screen. But instead, Edward stood in front of the mantelpiece, looking at Charlie's family photos.

“You look a lot like your mother,” Edward stated as I came to a halt next to him. “Only with your dad's eyes and hair color.”

He was looking at my parents' wedding picture. I didn't understand why Charlie still kept that one. As long as I'd been living in this house, it kind of made sense. He always supported every contact between Renée and me and didn't want to make me feel like my mother wasn't a part of our lives. But since I'd moved out, I thought he could finally get rid of it.

“I've heard that before,” I answered him, my tone less annoyed than usual when someone expressed similarities between my mother and me.

“She's a really beautiful woman. Or, at least she was. I guess that picture was taken about thirty years ago.” He was still looking at the photo. “Who are all the other people? Well, I'm sure that's you.” His finger pointed at a picture of me and Charlie's parents.

I smiled to myself. “These are Grandma and Grandpa Swan.”

“You seem to be very close to them.” His voice conveyed genuine interest.

“I was,” I started a little sadly. “Grandpa died when I was seven, and Grandma followed him when I was twelve.”

His face fell slightly before he took a closer look at the picture in question. “What is it you're holding in your hand there? You seem to be very interested in that.” He was really paying attention.

“It's Grandma's locket. She had a wonderful Victorian gold locket with emeralds and pearls on the lid. It was about a hundred years old, a family heirloom. Inside, she had two pictures, one of Charlie when he was a baby and one of me. I loved that thing. She always promised me that, one day, it would be mine.” The smile that had spread across my face at the memory of my grandparents faded.

Edward's eyes were on me now. “Did you inherit it when she died?”

My heart sank, and I felt tears well up in my eyes when I remembered how much that piece of jewelry had meant to me and how hard it had been for me when we found out that someone stole it. I swallowed them back before I spoke again. “No. She had a stroke and was in the hospital for two weeks before she died. When they gave us her belongings, the locket was gone. I'm not sure if it was worth a lot, but it was very special to me.” I met Edward's gaze, and there was a lot of sympathy in his beautiful green eyes.

“I'm sorry about that. I wish there was a way to get it back for you.” He paused a second before he looked at the mantelpiece again, changing the subject. “Who are the people in the other pictures?”

I showed him my mother's parents I hadn't been as close to, my Dad's friend, Billy Black, and I explained Sue's pictures as well — her late husband, her parents, the dog she'd had when she was younger.

“What are you two doing?” Charlie asked loudly as he entered the room.

I turned around and smiled at him. “I'm showing Edward our portrait gallery.”

“Huh. That's nice.” Charlie's brows lifted, showing his surprise while his lips curled up into a smile. “But what about the game we wanted to watch, Edward? Are we still on?” Without waiting for Edward's answer, he turned the TV on and placed two cans of Rainier on the table.

“Of course we are,” Edward replied, sitting down on the couch, taking one can and opening it. I knew that he wasn't that much into sports, but he was doing this to humor Charlie.

Sue walked in holding a bottle in her hand. “What about us girls? Bella, would you like to have some wine with me?”

“Yes, sure.” After taking two wine glasses out of the cupboard, I went to sit down on the couch next to Edward. I wasn't interested in sports at all, but what else was there to do tonight?

 

****POMH****

 

“This is the bathroom,” I explained as I showed Edward the upstairs rooms. “Fresh towels are in that closet over there. If you need anything, there's my room, and over there, that's Charlie's and Sue's bedroom.”

A second later, I was pinned against my bedroom door with Edward nibbling my neck. “So, everything I'll need will be in this room,” he whispered huskily.

“My dad could come up here any minute. Now's really not the best time,” I breathed, actually unwilling to stop him.

Suddenly, his lips were gone from my neck as Edward was grinning at me mischievously. “Well, then we have to postpone that.”

Reluctantly, we went back down the stairs and into the living room.

“Edward, I'm sorry we only have this old couch for you to sleep on. I'm afraid you may have problems with your back tomorrow,” Sue apologized as we came through the door. She had put some sheets and blankets on the old sofa.

“Thank you, Sue. I'm sure I've slept worse. It'll be fine,” Edward assured her, smiling his brilliant smile.

“Then we'll leave you alone. Bella, are you coming?” Charlie demanded as he put his arms around Sue and they were about to walk up the stairs.

I turned around to follow them as Charlie expected. “Yes, Dad. Good night, Edward.”

“Good night,” Edward bid all of us before he remained alone in the living room.

 

********POMH********

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did you like the Edward-Charlie encounter? I love how Charlie's so suspicious but at the same time thrilled that Bella's finally bringing someone home. So, what's your guess, will Edward sleep well on the couch? Will he sleep on the couch at all? Here's the weekly teaser:
> 
> … It was quiet for some time before Edward spoke again. “What happened so many years ago is still haunting you, isn't it?” His voice was soft and sympathetic just like his light caresses. …
> 
> What is he talking about? I can tell you that Bella will finally making some progress next week.
> 
> Before I leave you to hopefully review ;), I want to make an announcement. After pondering on the idea for some time now, I decided to create a Facebook group for my stories. There will be teasers, pictures, and I hope there will be some interesting discussions, too. For starters, if you're interested in Bella's grandmother's locket, there's a picture posted in the group. If you want to join, the group's called Payton79's Fanfiction.
> 
>  
> 
> That's it for now. Hope to see you all again next week.


	20. Chapter 18 - Bare Your Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome to what I think is maybe the most important chapter of this story. I'm sure that, after reading it, you'll agree with me.  
> I want to thank you all for voting for POMH in The Fandom Choice Awards. I'm so honored that it won 3rd place for Best Erotica. You guys are really great.  
> As always, I have to shout out a very loud thank-you to my wonderful betas evelyn-shaye and EdwardsMate4ever. You two make my writing so much better. I can't even imagine what this story would be like without your help. I also want to thank my prereader Vampgirl79 for her constant support and for nominating POMH in the FCA's.  
> Now, go on and read what happens next in Forks. See you at the bottom.
> 
> Disclaimer: As much as I'd wish it was, Twilight's not mine.

Chapter 18 – Bare Your Soul

 

My eyes were closed as I felt thousands of little droplets of water rain down on my body. “Hey, beautiful. Have you been waiting for me?” Edward's soft voice greeted me.

I opened my eyes and shaded them with my hands against the bright sunlight that was shining from the clear blue sky. Edward was standing in front of me, wearing bathing shorts, his body and hair wet from his bath in the ocean. The sound of the waves was the perfect background music to the picturesque scene.

“Don't I always?” I answered, just before he went down on his knees beside me and bent over me, his face an inch from mine. We were alone on this wonderful beach.

He softly touched his warm, salty lips to mine. “It's a good thing you do.” Immediately, my lips parted, and I slipped my hungry tongue into his awaiting mouth. As his tongue met mine, we both moaned together in satisfaction. It didn't take long before the gentle kiss turned into a heated lip-lock. My center was starting to throb with desire for Edward's touch.

He knew me all too well, letting his hand glide down the side of my body, until he reached the waistband of my bikini briefs. It stayed there for a minute before he slid his fingers inside, exploring the heat between my thighs.

“Oh, baby, you're already so wet for me.” His voice sounded strange, somehow all too real, when I was absolutely sure that I was dreaming. And what a dream it was!

After stroking his index finger up and down my wet folds, Edward settled for circling my very willing clit with his magical fingers. A deep moan escaped my throat.

“You like that, don't you? When I rub you like that.” It wasn't more than a whisper but somehow the feeling of the sunshine on my skin faded. I didn't hear the waves anymore, and in my half-awake state, I realized that, instead of the bikini that I had been wearing only seconds ago, my legs were covered in flannel pants. In combination, I was wearing a sweatshirt as I was lying in my bed, half on my left side, half on my stomach.

So it was only a dream. Sadly. I opened my eyes to find that the room was dark. The only sources of light were the green numbers on the display of my alarm clock on my nightstand.

But, if it was a dream, why was I still feeling Edward's fingers fondling me? And not only that, I clearly felt his breath on my neck. I tensed instantly, realizing that Edward was really in my room, in my dad's house.

“What would Chief Swan do if he found me here in your room, doing naughty things to you?” his husky, aroused voice whispered against my ear.

“I think he would probably shoot you,” I answered, a little out of breath.

Edward chuckled quietly before he continued to speak. “Then I'd better enjoy my last hours on earth, don't you think?” His hand tugged down my pants only far enough to bare my sex as I was still facing away from him. He moved closer. One arm reached around my waist, his hand directly going for my clit again. His lips brushed along my neck, from the base to my ear and back down again.

The thought of him in my room, under my father's roof, with my dad and Sue in the other room, frightened me, but turned me on a lot at the same time.

Edward's fingers moved back and forth, circling, then rubbing and squeezing my peak. My breath seemed as loud as thunder to me.

“You enjoy a bit of danger, don't you? I thought so at the club last week. But we have to be very quiet not to wake your father.” With that, his tongue licked the shell of my ear as his warm breath tickling my skin.

This was so wrong but so very good at the same time. I felt my insides tense as Edward's fingers rubbing me went faster and harder. I grabbed my pillow, clawing my fingers into it, as I felt my toes curl, and a sudden wave of extreme pleasure raced through my body.

I buried my face in the pillow when an orgasmic scream threatened to wake up the whole house.

Edward chuckled against my ear again. “You're a good girl, screaming into the pillow. And good girls get rewarded.” He pulled my pants down and threw them to the ground. Next, he pulled my sweater over my head, all the time keeping me facing away from him.

When his bare skin touched mine, I realized that he was naked himself. He reached behind him quickly, and a second later, I heard a foil package rip open. Another moment passed, and he was spooning me from behind, the tip of his cock lined up with my aching center.

“You know you're risking your life here?” I teased in a rough whisper.

“There are things worth dying for.” In one quick thrust he had inserted his whole length inside me, making me gasp.

“Sshhh, we need to be quiet,” he breathed against my ear before he moved his hips back and forth. I bit my lower lip to keep from moaning with the wonderful feeling of Edward inside me in this position.

He moved in and out gently a few times, his right hand was around my waist, cupping my right breast while his thumb brushed over my hard nipple.

“You're so hot, baby. And you feel so incredibly good.” Again he pulled out and drove himself back in again.

Then he rolled on top of me, pushing me to lie flat on my stomach with my legs slightly spread. The change of angle enabled him to shove himself even deeper into me. Oh, this was so unbelievably good. His pace picked up, and his thrusts became harder and deeper.

I moaned, trying to keep the volume down. “Oh God. This feels so good.”

A few moments later, Edward reached around my body, placing his hand on my stomach in an attempt to lift my ass up. I played along, finding myself kneeling before him on all fours. He placed both hands on my hips, guiding me forward a bit, before slamming me back against him, impaling me to the hilt.

“Oh.” I groaned probably way too loud.

Edward warned, “Baby, if you're not quiet, I'll have to stop.”

It felt so incredibly good. I didn't want to risk him breaking it off at any cost. So I bit my lip, moved my hips forward and slammed my body back against his, making him moan out quietly.

He was deeper inside me than ever. That feeling alone made this the most intimate and lustful experience I'd had to date. That, combined with the idea of Edward taking me doggy style, made my core become even wetter than it already was.

He rammed himself deep inside me a few times, before he bent down, one hand resting on my hip, as the other reached around me, his fingers starting to rub my clit. Immediately, my center walls started to quiver.

“This is so fucking good, baby. You're so wet.” He plunged his hardness into me deeply, and with each thrust, he slammed harder against me, our skin making smacking sounds each time our hips met.

The feeling of him inside me as deep as this alone, hitting my g-spot with each move, and his fingers circling my peak, made me pant as I pushed myself back against Edward over and over with increasing force.

His other hand left my hip and held my breast, his fingers pinching my nipple hard, and in that very moment, I totally lost control. My hands grabbed my pillow and pressed it against my face as I screamed into it at the top of my lungs when I exploded inside. A climax that took my breath away ripped through me. I was still panting heavily while sparks danced around behind my closed lids. Then Edward moaned lowly but very intensely, stabbing my sex hard a couple more times before he kind of collapsed on top of me, both of us breathing erratically.

 

****POMH****

 

“Wow. You have a lot of nerve to pull this stunt here with my father in the other room,” I whispered, resting my head on Edward's chest, his arm firmly around my waist.

“I couldn't help myself. I had this dream, you know, and all of a sudden, I wanted you very badly.” His other hand was playing with a strand of my hair.

“Good thing I wasn't that far away.” I giggled quietly as my fingers were toying with his chest hair.

“You have a comfortable bed, by the way,” he started after a long pause. “So that can't be the reason why you're not staying here until Sunday. I mean, you could stay the whole weekend, and yet you want to go back to Seattle on Friday. The whole evening, I've been wondering why that is. Charlie and Sue are so nice.” It was too dark to see his face, but I knew he was wrinkling his forehead.

“It's not them,” I began but paused for a second, deliberating what to tell him. I decided to go with the truth. “It's this room. I don't like to be in here. I only ever stay here on Thanksgiving and Christmas and never more than two nights tops.” I felt uneasy admitting that, because I knew he would continue asking. When I had told him about Jacob, I'd left out specifics like where we had been together. But why shouldn't I tell him? He knew about Jake anyway.

“What happened here that was so bad that you don't want to stay at your father's house anymore?” Although he was whispering, I could hear that he sounded concerned and sad.

I snuggled even closer to him before I answered his question. “I lost my virginity in this very bed. I told you how that went.” I couldn't fight the images of Jacob's shocked face shortly before he left from flooding my mind.

“Oh. That was here? I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have come up here just like that.” Worry was thick in his tone.

I tried to quickly dispel his concerns. “No, no. That's alright. Actually, from now on, instead of being sad looking at this bed, I'll blush ten shades of red remembering what we did here tonight.” It was true. The memories we'd made just a few minutes ago seemed to outweigh the bad ones from back then.

It was quiet for some time before Edward spoke again. “What happened so many years ago is still haunting you, isn't it?” His voice was soft and sympathetic just like his light caresses.

“It is. I mean, I've never had a real relationship because of Jacob. The three efforts I made went to shit after a short time. The men always wanted things I wasn't able to give them. So I broke it off.”

For a moment, I reveled in Edward's hand moving up and down my side in a soothing manner. “Jacobleft me with shattered self-esteem and a general distrust in all things male. I've gone through man after man for years, without letting anyone get close enough to hurt me.”

I took a few breaths, thinking about what to say next and somehow it all wanted out. “It's flattering when a man hits on me, wants me. Then I go home with him. No last names, no numbers. A quick fuck, just like I was for Jacob. The difference is, now _I'm_ the one in control. I can leave whenever I want.” That was what I always told myself. But there was also a giant downside to my lifestyle.

“Then, later, as soon as I come home, I feel incredibly cheap for letting them touch me, kiss me, letting them inside me.” My voice broke over the last words. I closed my eyes, trying to will the shame away. “God, I let someone take my virginity without even so much as a date before. If that doesn't scream 'slut', then what does?”

Tears were pooling in my eyes, and I was glad that it was too dark for Edward to see them. “I've never told this to anyone before.” The whispered words were almost too quiet to understand. It was true. Even Alice didn't know how I felt, how I was loathing myself for my promiscuity. But somehow, it felt right to tell Edward. It was a relief to finally have someone knowing about me, the real me.

He was quiet for several minutes as I was regaining my composure, and my tears ceased to flow. I started to think Edward had fallen asleep when he finally spoke again.

“Do you feel cheap after being with me? Please, be honest, Bella.” He asked the question tenderly, unable to suppress the worry in his tone.

My hand stopped playing. Instead, it rested on his chest. “No, I don't. Being with you somehow doesn't feel wrong. With every one of those men, it did.” It was hard for me to admit a thing like that, to talk about my feelings. But he was really my friend, had proven that more than once. He made me feel like we could really talk about everything.

“Thank you. For you to feel cheap is the last thing I'd want. It makes me really sad that you think that way about yourself. And I don't see a reason for it. There's no need to regret taking what you want.” The hand that had been running through my hair was now moving up and down my arm.

“I feel like a slut when I think about how many men I've been with. I'm embarrassed even thinking about it.” Usually I tried to push that thought away as much as possible, but as I was putting my cards on the table, what use was there in holding anything back?

“How many, Bella? Please, tell me.” He spoke softly, laced with a lot of emotion. When I didn't answer, he asked again. “It can't be that bad. Just tell me.”

I closed my eyes. I never wanted to know how many men I'd been with. But no matter how much I tried to deny it, I knew the exact number without even having to think about it. I was more than ashamed of myself, but I answered him anyway. Hot tears started to flood my eyes again. “Sixty-three.” I breathed against his chest, waiting for him to pull away from me in disgust. But it didn't happen. Instead, his hold on me seemed to tighten.

“Sixty-three is your total? Let me sum up: sixty-three men in what, seven years?” He snorted quietly, but it sounded neither amused nor ironic. “Bella, are you aware of what I did after that joke of a relationship with Tanya ended? I screwed everything with a heartbeat for eighteen months. You want to know my total? You'll probably be repulsed by me.” His voice was suddenly hard, as always when he talked about Tanya and the aftermath.

“How many?” I whispered tonelessly.

“Eighty-two, in eighteen months. Well, not really. Seventy-one in eighteen months. The others were before Tanya and, of course, there's you.” He said it like I had a special place in his history.

Edward gently brushed his lips over my forehead. “Bella, we are who we are. Everyone comes with baggage. But you're still the most amazing woman I've ever met. You're smart, beautiful, have a wonderful sense of humor. Every man would be happy if you would love him. And every one who's not is an idiot. You don't have to be ashamed of anything. And most certainly not when it comes to me.”

There was a long silence again before I spoke.

“What makes me feel a bit better is knowing that I've always been protected. So, other than Jacob, no one ever came that close. Although I've been on the pill since I was scared about being pregnant for a week back then, I always insisted on using a condom.” It was a stupid consolation, but it meant a lot to me.

“You even thought you were pregnant? That must have been a horror at the time.” He stroked my back quietly for a few seconds. “I haven't been with a woman without protection since my first girlfriend, either. Even in our five years together, Tanya always insisted on using a condom. She always told me her body wouldn't tolerate the pill. Now I know better. Given her amount of partners at a time, she couldn't risk catching or passing on any diseases.” As before, when Tanya came up, his voice was hard.

“I'm sorry. I always thought of it as real intimacy to be with someone without any barriers. A condom somehow still stands between two people.” Suddenly, I longed to be that close to someone — no, not someone, Edward. I'd wanted him, to feel him, since the moment we met, but I hadn't realized how close I really wanted him to be.

“I think so, too. Tanya was a mistake. But, apart from that, until now I never felt the desire for that kind of intimacy.” I wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean. Did he want _me_ that way? He always assured me that friends was exactly what he wanted us to be. But right now, and after so many things that had been said tonight, it seemed like he wanted more anyway. And for the first time, I wasn't afraid of the thought of Edward being a bigger part of my life.

“You should sleep now, Bella. I'll go downstairs to make sure your dad doesn't find out about this.” His arms let go of me, and he lifted the covers to get out of the bed as I grabbed his wrist.

“Please, stay. I'll set the alarm for five-thirty. That's half an hour before Charlie or Sue usually get up. If you go downstairs then, they still won't notice anything.” I was surprised by how pleading my voice sounded — like a child that didn't want to sleep alone in fear of nightmares. But in a way, that's what this was about. As long as Edward was with me, everything was good and felt right. No bad memories or feelings of regret ever entered my mind.

A second later, he was beside me under the covers again, pulling me close in our previous position.

“If you want me to, I'll stay. Now, sleep, my Bella.” He touched his lips to my forehead, and seconds later, I dozed off to a very pleasant sleep.

 

********POMH********

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was it important or was it important? Will Bella's behavior change from here on out? I have to make a confession. I wrote this chapter last June when I was on vacation with my family in Italy. About two paragraphs before I was done, my computer shut down for an update before I had the chance to save the last page. So I had to write it again, but as hard as I tried, I didn't get it to be as good as it was before. I hope you liked it anyway.  
> So, you're up for a little teaser for chapter 19? Here it goes:
> 
> … “No. I just thought … I mean, you said the couch was uncomfortable whereas my bed was alright. So I thought I could share it with you.” Oh my God, I was rambling. …
> 
> I know it's not much of a teaser but everything else would give too much away.  
> Before I say goodbye for this week, I wanted to remind you of my Facebook group. It's called Payton79's Fanfiction. There are longer teasers and pictures and hopefully some interesting discussions. I'd be happy to meet you there. For all of you who are having problems finding the group, here's the link:
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/groups/1450910258461627/  
> Have a great week. See you all next Tuesday.


	21. Chapter 19 - Thanksgiving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Tuesday, everybody. Welcome back to the next chapter of Puzzle of my Heart.
> 
> The reactions to the last chapter were overwhelming. Many of you were happy with the progress Bella made. But some were shocked that Bella and Edward had that kind of an active past. I'm glad you all got over it after I explained my reasoning in my answers to your reviews. I'm trying to answer all of them, and I hope I didn't forget anyone. Unfortunately, I can't answer the guest reviews. Thanks for all of you who take the time to let me know what you think of my work. It means a lot to me.
> 
> I have to thank my wonderful betas EdwardsMate4ever and evelyn-shaye for helping me with this story. I don't know what I'd do without your creative input. But because I tweak around until the last minute, all mistakes you may find are all mine. I also want to thank my friend and prereader Vampgirl79 for her continuing support. Without her, this story would probably still only exist in my head.
> 
> So, let's see what Bella and Edward are up to this week. See you at the end.
> 
> Disclaimer: Thank you, Stephenie Meyer for giving us what we all love so much. It's all hers.

Chapter 19 – Thanksgiving

 

Five-thirty came way too quickly. As soon as the alarm went off, I silenced it, careful not to wake my dad. Edward slipped out of my bed, put on his pajamas that were on the floor, and after kissing my lips tenderly once more, he went to spend the rest of the night on the couch.

I tried to fall asleep again, since I had the opportunity to sleep in this morning, but it wouldn't happen for me again. The bed was all of a sudden way too big and much too cold.

When the clock displayed that it was six, I decided to get up and take a shower.

Half an hour later, the house was still silent as a graveyard. It seemed that Charlie and Sue had decided to wake neither Edward nor me this morning. So, when I was done drying my hair with a towel, I put on my sweatpants and sweatshirt I kept here for days like today and went downstairs.

Edward was lying on the couch, looking asleep as I peeked into the living room. Although some kind of gravitational force was trying to pull me inside and watch his beautiful face as he dreamed, I summoned the strength to walk past the door and go to the kitchen to start breakfast.

As I was standing there cracking eggs to scramble them, gentle arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me against a warm, solidly-built body.

“Good morning, beautiful,” Edward's melodic voice sang quietly. “I hope you slept well?”

I smiled at my eggs, answering, “I did. My bed was very warm and cozy. How was your night?”

“It didn't start very pleasantly. The couch is really uncomfortable. But, after some playtime, I was invited to stay in a very nice bed, and I slept like the dead.” He nuzzled my ear with his nose for what felt like forever — a really nice forever — until Charlie's steps thundered from the top of the stairs. In a fraction of a second, Edward had taken a seat at the kitchen table while I resumed cracking eggs.

“Good morning, kids. You're both up early. I hope you had a good night?” Charlie greeted us when he entered the room.

I opened my mouth to answer him, then instantly bit my tongue when I realized, that I had been about to say “Yes, _we_ slept very well. _”_ Edward seemed to notice my moment of distress and chimed in, “Good morning, Charlie. Thank you, I'd been sleeping soundly until Bella here came downstairs a few minutes ago.”

By the time he'd finished, I'd snapped out of my daze. “Good morning, Dad. Yes, I slept very well, too. What about you?”

“Thanks. But, Bells, you really shouldn't get up early to cook breakfast. Relax. You're a guest. Let us serve you breakfast.” He took two mugs out of the cupboard, filled them with coffee from the pot I'd just made and put one on the table in front of Edward before he sat down beside him.

“Dad, you're the one who always tells me that this is my home. Now you tell me that I'm a guest. You can't have it both ways. If this is my home, then I can cook breakfast for my family in my kitchen.” I grinned from ear to ear, having beaten him with his own words.

“Okay, okay. You're right, as usual. But hurry. Sue won't be as easy to convince as I am.”

The three of us laughed together, and as Sue came down, Edward excused himself and went upstairs to freshen up.

 

****POMH****

 

Usually, after Edward and I spent a night together, the following morning was kind of sweet. We touched a lot, cuddled a little, sometimes we even kissed. Today had to be different, though. Charlie's and especially Sue's observant eyes were on us almost the whole time during breakfast. Anyway, we managed to sneak in a little touch, every now and again, or a knowing look into each other's eyes.

After breakfast, Charlie announced that he needed to go to the police station to pick up some stuff, just like he did every year, and he insisted on taking Edward along, saying we women needed the house to ourselves to prepare dinner.

I couldn't help the frown that showed on my face at the prospect of my dad spending time alone with Edward, but I couldn't come up with a plausible reason why he shouldn't. So I watched Edward follow Charlie to the cruiser with a wary expression.

As soon as they had driven off, Sue started to ask questions again.

“How long did you say you and Edward have known each other?” She tried to sound indifferent, but I knew she was everything but.

“About four weeks,” I answered shortly.

“Four weeks.” She continued peeling potatoes for some time while she seemed to be deep in thought. “You seem very close for friends who have only met four weeks ago.”

It was not a question, but I had the feeling that she was waiting for an answer anyway.

“I know. It was like that almost from the first sentence we spoke to each other. And we're spending a lot of time together. See, he's Jasper's friend. He spends a lot of time with Jasper, and I'm with Alice all the time, so we're necessarily together a lot.” I hoped very much that she would leave it at that. But I knew Sue. She always meant well, but she never gave up.

“It's not only that you seem to know each other very well. You seem very comfortable around each other. And you seem to be physically close. It didn't seem to bother either of you that you were touching from your knees up to your shoulders the whole time last night. Normally, people try to avoid contact like that unless they're in a relationship.”

Dammit. She was too observant. I hadn't even realized that we were in contact all the time. If she had noticed that, what else could she have seen?

She continued before I could come up with a witty reply. “And the way he looks at you. There's a tenderness in his eyes every time they focus on you.”

Was there, really? I was sure he liked me, but tenderness? Well, of course, after having sex we were quite touchy and tender with each other. She must be over-interpreting that.

“Sue, no matter what you try to read into this or him, we're friends. Good friends, but friends. We're not in a relationship. Neither of us is after that right now.” I wasn't so sure if that was still the truth. But the second it was out, I knew I had said too much. Neither Charlie nor Sue knew what had happened with Jacob eight years ago. I supposed they guessed that I'd had a crush on him, and they knew that we'd had some kind of quarrel which eventually led to cutting all contact, but I was sure they didn't even suspect how much what happened back then still affected my life today. Nor did I want them to know.

“That's a shame. Bella, I'd hoped that you might finally have found someone who's right for you. I would be so happy if you found someone to love, who respects you and loves you back. And you and Edward seem so right together.” Her voice was soft, and her tone was holding nothing but motherly concern.

I didn't dare to think about how right she was, how much I felt the same way. I didn't want to admit it to myself, but being around Edward felt exactly right. Still, I was more than afraid to be rejected, to get hurt again. So I didn't let either me or anyone else believe that there was even the slightest chance of him and me being together in the future.

“Sue, can we please drop the matter? Things are as they are. I may someday meet someone or I may not. Until then, just accept things as they are.”

She sighed heavily but didn't insist on continuing the uncomfortable conversation.

 

****POMH****

 

Dinner was very good, and after a long discussion, Edward had persuaded Sue to let him help me with the dishes while she and Charlie went to sit in the living room.

“Thank you, Bella, for inviting me to your home. It's really nice meeting your family,” he said as he picked up a glass to dry.

I put a plate next to the sink that needed to drip off. “They like you, too, especially Sue.”

“You know, your dad didn't take me to the police station today.” Our conversation was very quiet so that our words couldn't be overheard.

I was surprised and curious. But before I answered, I glanced back to make sure that Sue and Charlie weren't listening. Still, I lowered my voice to be safe. “He didn't? Where did he take you then?”

“To a bar. We watched sports, and over a few beers, he told me to be good to his little girl and take care of you.” His lips curled up into a smile, but instead of irony, which I had expected to find, it seemed to hold deep emotion.

“I hope he didn't bother you too much,” I said apologetically, embarrassed by my father's words.

His tone was sincere, and there was no trace of mockery when he assured me, “No, he didn't. It was actually very sweet, and I promised him I would.”

The heartiness in his expression made my heart swell. Was he just humoring Charlie or did he really mean what he said? I felt the need to assure him that he wasn't obligated to follow through.

“Well, after a long conversation with Sue today, I decided to let them think whatever they want. No matter what we say, they don't believe us anyway.” I noticed a quick flash of sadness cross his face but it was gone again a second later.

We washed and dried in silence until the last plate and glass were back in their respective cupboards. Before we went to join Charlie and Sue, we took a moment to stand next to each other, leaning against the kitchen counter, taking another peaceful breath before the scrutiny would continue.

“Will you come to my room tonight?” I asked, although it was somehow hard to get the words out.

Edward looked down at me with a smile. “If you want me to,” he said softly.

“Yes, please.” I nodded before I took another deep breath and added, “Come on. Let's start the last round for today,” and went off into the living room.

We spent the evening just like the one before: sports, beer and wine, before Sue prepared Edward's bed, although he insisted on doing it himself. Then we said another round of awkward good nights and all went to bed.

An hour after I had slipped under the covers, I heard my door open and close again, and a moment later, Edward joined me under the blankets, wrapping his arms around me.

“So, what did you have in mind? Another round of action that will cause you to blush?” His brow was raised in mischief.

“No. I just thought … I mean, you said the couch was uncomfortable whereas my bed was alright. So I thought I could share it with you.” Oh my God, I was rambling.

“Thank you.” I could hear a content smile in his voice as he pressed his lips to my forehead. Without another word, he pulled me closer. It felt so good that we were asleep only minutes later.

 

****POMH****

 

Like the morning before, the alarm went off at five-thirty. Again, Edward left me after kissing me goodbye. But unlike the day before, I didn't even try to sleep some more and instead took another hot shower. Then I took the time to pack my stuff. After all, we had planned to leave right after breakfast.

Since the whole house was still completely silent, I went straight to the kitchen to make coffee. It only took about five minutes to be done and, as soon as the water was through, I poured myself a cup and sneaked soundlessly into the living room.

Edward was on the sofa, lying on his side, his face turned to me, in what seemed like deep slumber. I thought about going back to the kitchen and letting him have his rest, but today, the force pulling me closer to him was stronger than my better judgment. I tiptoed toward the couch until I was standing right in front of it. I didn't want to wake the beautiful man sleeping in front of me, so I sat down on the coffee table without making any noise.

The mug filled with fresh coffee was still in my hands, but I didn't dare to take a sip, afraid the slightest noise could disturb this moment of peace.

Edward's chest was slowly heaving and falling again. His full sensual lips were in a slight smile as if he were having a pleasant dream. I felt my heart ache, wishing that he might be dreaming about me. His normally messy hair was a little bit more disheveled than usual, considering he hadn't had the chance to attend to it yet. One of his hands was under the pillow, while the other one seemed to rest right above his heart. My fingers were itching with the need to touch him, caress his angel face, trace his lips with the tip of my index finger, run my hands through his hair.

“Were you planning to offer me some of that coffee, or do you want to go on torturing me with its delicious scent?” Edward's voice startled me, and a gasp escaped my throat. I couldn't have been any more shocked if we had been in the climax of a horror movie.

I blushed, feeling caught watching him. “Sorry. I didn't know you were awake.” It was a good thing the room was too dark for him to see the blood rushing to my cheeks.

“Obviously. Now, what about the coffee? Are you going to surrender it willingly, or do I have to lick the remaining caffeine off your tongue?” His eyes were wide open now, one brow raised with mischief.

I was actually going to offer him the cup but instead, after his inspiring suggestion, I lifted it to my lips and slowly and pleasurably drank several sips from it. Then I put the mug down and smiled smugly at him.

“Now don't you complain. You had it coming.” Edward growled as he sat up and leaned over, roughly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him. Then he rolled on top of me, pinning me to the couch. With a wicked grin he crushed his lips to mine, forcing his tongue into my mouth, dramatically trying to lick the remains of the coffee off.

What started playfully very soon turned into a passionate, out-of-breath make-out-session. Edward's hands were gliding up my sides under my shirt, and I clearly felt his erection pressing into my thigh. My hands were combing through his hair, and moisture started to pour from my center when, suddenly, my father's voice came from the stairs. “Sue, I'll be downstairs.”

It was nothing more than a loud whisper, and we were lucky to have heard it at all. Although my dad was effectively cock-blocking us, it was actually a good thing that he was coming down now because I wasn't sure what he would have found here five minutes later.

Edward rushed to get off me as I struggled to my feet, distancing myself from the couch, frantically looking for something inconspicuous to do.

“Hey, you're up?” Charlie asked into the room as I was pulling the curtains open.

“Morning, Dad. Yes. There's coffee in the kitchen, and I'll start cooking breakfast in a minute,” I answered, and after quickly glancing at my father, I went to the kitchen.

 

****POMH****

 

“Do you need to go back to Seattle right away?” Edward asked as we were driving away from my father's house.

We'd shared a breakfast of omelet with bacon and cheese with Charlie and Sue before we said goodbye when Charlie had to leave for work.

“No. Actually, I don't have to be back before Monday.” I didn't have any idea where he was going with his question.

“I didn't want to keep you that long. It's just that Jasper told me once how beautiful First Beach is. The weather is nice today, and if we have a little time, I thought, maybe you would show me the sights around here.” He smiled at me warmly.

I felt my heartbeat accelerate and my hands getting clammy at the thought of First Beach. I hadn't been there in eight years. I had refused to go anywhere near La Push since that summer. But the panic subsided as quickly as it had risen when I realized that there was no reason to stay away. I was over Jacob — in fact, I had been for a while. I was still hurting from the injuries he caused me, but my refusal to go to there didn't have anything to do with my life and what it had turned into. It had only been about Jake as a person. And since that wasn't a problem anymore …

“Sure, just take a left turn at the traffic light over there.”

In no time, Edward pulled into the parking lot at First Beach. Although I had secretly expected some kind of sad feeling to make an appearance, it didn't.

Edward walked around the car to open the door for me when he noticed that there was a mud puddle right where I'd have to put my feet to get out.

“Sorry about that. Here, take my hand,” he offered as he helped me around the water.

When I was standing safely on my two feet, he threw the door shut, and instead of letting go of my hand, he entwined his fingers with mine as he led me to the beach. Although this was new and quite foreign to me, it felt nice. So I didn't pull away.

“This is really beautiful,” Edward said as we stood just a few feet away from the water. We were the only people on the beach. A Friday morning in November wasn't really the time lots of tourists came here. The sun was shining from the sky, and the sounds of the breaking waves were very soothing.

Although the weather was nice, it was still November, and I started to shiver a little in the cold wind blowing from the sea.

“Are you cold? Should we leave?” Edward asked worriedly.

I lied, “No, I'm okay.”

Of course, he saw right through it. He led me to a big piece of driftwood, sat down and made me sit on his lap before he wrapped his arms around me protectively.

“This is better,” I said, smiling.

“Do you come here a lot?” he asked with his gaze fixed on James Island.

“Not since I moved to Seattle. I haven't been here in eight years. I'd completely forgotten how beautiful it is here.”

I was sure Edward knew or at least suspected that my years of absence had something to do with my past, but he didn't comment on it.

We sat in silence, our arms around each other, for a long time, not really speaking until, eventually, the sky got overcast and rain started to drizzle. Then we drove back to Seattle.

 

****POMH****

 

It was almost midnight, and I was still lying awake in my cold and empty bed. After two nights with Edward's arms around me, I was feeling lonely and sad right now. I wasn't able to put a finger on it, but something had changed between us in Forks. Maybe it was that, for once, I had dropped all my defenses in telling him how I felt about myself.

The holding hands and sitting in his lap this morning had made me feel secure in a way I'd never known before. My usual instinct to push him away whenever he came close outside of the bedroom had vanished in favor of a need to have him around all the time.

Edward had seemed reluctant to leave after he had insisted on carrying my bag to my apartment. At the door, he had wrapped his arms around my waist, pulled me close and kissed my lips with unprecedented tenderness.

I looked at the clock on my nightstand again to see that it was 11:55, and I was still far from falling asleep when I heard my phone vibrate on the nightstand.

_**Are you still awake?**_ Edward's text read.

_**Yes.**_ I replied.

Ten seconds later, he called.

“Hey, handsome,” I greeted him as I pressed the phone to my ear.

He sounded tired. “Hello, beautiful. How come you're still awake?”

“I just can't sleep. I'm not used to being in bed this early on a Friday night.”

“That's a lie. You've been in bed with me at midnight on at least two Friday nights.” I could picture the smug smile on this face.

“You're right. But, if I remember it correctly, we didn't sleep,” I answered flirtatiously.

He chuckled lightly. “No, that we didn't.”

“Did you just get home?” I asked to change the subject.

“Yes, about ten minutes ago. Dinner was long and boring. What I would have given for some home-made Italian food instead of fancy French cuisine. Now, I'm in my big, empty bed and somehow needed to hear your voice,” he said before he yawned.

“My bed is quite cold, too. Maybe that's why I can't sleep.” For the first time, I dared to admit the thought to myself and him.

“Do you have anything planned for tomorrow night?” he asked hopefully.

I didn't have to think twice. “No. Alice and Jasper won't be back before Sunday. So, no plans yet. If you like, I'll cook you some lasagna. Charlie and Sue love my special recipe.” I hadn't really cooked dinner for anyone in quite some time.

“I'd love that. Shall I bring anything?” He sounded really excited.

“Just yourself … and you could bring a bottle of wine. You're more of an expert than I am.” Maybe the Marsala?

“Okay, I will. What time do you want me to be there?”

“Seven-ish.”

He yawned again. “Great.”

“You should sleep now. I'm planning on keeping you awake for some time tomorrow night,” I said in a hopefully seductive voice.

“I can't wait. Good night, beautiful. Sleep well.”

“Good night, Edward. See you tomorrow.”

 

********POMH********

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was that. Do you think Bella made further progress? I think she did, although this is all new to her. What do you think will happen when they have dinner on Saturday? Here's a little teaser:
> 
> … “So, baby, now you're at my mercy. And I have a lot of ideas what I could do with you.” Pleased with himself, he glared down at me, trying to force a menacing grin on his face. Although he worked hard to keep a strict front, not ruining the role play he had in mind, his eyes assured me that he wouldn't hurt me. …
> 
> What could that mean? There will be some longer teasers and a very telling picture in my Facebook group Payton79's Fanfiction. I'd be happy to meet you there. The link is in my profile.
> 
> This week you're all in for a little treat. I wrote an EPOV outtake of Edward and Charlie's trip to the bar that I'm planning to post on Friday. Hope to see you then.


	22. Outtake - Blessing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! What a way to start the weekend with reading the thoughts of our favorite green-eyed sexgod.
> 
> Here I'm giving you — unbeta'd and probably full of errors — an outtake of Edward and Charlie's trip to the bar.
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy it.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight...

Outtake – Blessing EPOV

 

“I hope you're not too set on going to the station,” Charlie said with a mysterious grin as we were about a few hundred yards away from the house.

What was that about? He had told Bella and Sue that he had to go to the police station to do some work, and Bella had already told me that it was some kind of habit or maybe tradition on Thanksgiving. What neither of us had anticipated was that he insisted on taking me with him. I hadn't spent more than five minutes alone with the man since we'd arrived last night, and we hadn't talked more than ten sentences with each other. Although he'd given up the almost hostile attitude toward me, I still felt a little uneasy in his presence. After all, he was Bella's father, and I really wanted him to like me since I was planning to stick around for a long time.

“Uhm, no. I'm not,” I answered him carefully.

He only grinned a little darkly while staring straight ahead. “That's good then, because that's not where we're heading.”

What did he mean? Did he know about me and Bella? Did he know about last night? That I had snuck into her room and had sex with her while he was asleep just across the hall? Oh my God. He wouldn't shoot me, after all, would he?

I didn't say anything. Instead, I tried to compose myself to not show him how nervous I suddenly was.

We rode in the cruiser for a few more minutes before Charlie pulled into a small parking lot in the middle of town. When I got out, I started to look around, trying to figure out why we were there.

“Come on, Edward,” he said, waving his hand to make me follow him.

I looked around again, but when I realized that the only way out was to turn tail and run, which wouldn't give my hopefully future father-in-law the best impression, I shrugged my shoulders and followed the man.

I was quite surprised when we entered a bar. The chief walked straight into the long room filled with middle-aged men, greeting the bartender and ordering two beers. Then he sat down at a small table in the back of the bar, facing a giant plasma TV that was showing ESPN.

“Isn't this better than hanging around the house, doing stupid chores? I come here every year, Thanksgiving and Christmas Day, basically whenever there is a lot to do in the kitchen, and the women are better off without me.” He laughed as I sat down next to him.

“Bella already told me you'd probably be at work this morning. They don't seem to suspect what you're really doing.” I shook my head, chuckling lightly at the smugness on Charlie's face.

The bartender came over, setting two bottles of beer on the table in front of us. “There you are, Chief. Busy times at home again?” The gray-haired man who was wearing a checkered flannel shirt seemed to be amused by Charlie's tradition.

“Yeah, just like every year. Tom, this is Edward, by the way,” Charlie introduced me, moving his head in my direction once.

We nodded a silent hello to each other.

“So, having a private word with the future son-in-law? It's great to see that Bella finally has someone. I won't bother you any longer. Enjoy the game.” Before I could object to his words, Tom was gone again.

“Cheers,” the chief said as he clinked his bottle to mine before he took a big sip.

I was sitting still, stunned by what had just transpired. The fact that Charlie hadn't denied the barkeeper's assumptions made me feel uncomfortable. It was not that I really objected to his assessment of our relationship. To be honest, it was the same way I felt about it. But knowing that Bella wasn't there yet, which meant that we technically weren't a couple, made the situation kind of akward. Who was I to Charlie? A random friend his daughter brought home? He'd already told me yesterday that Bella had never brought anybody home before. After telling me her whole story last night, I was sure she'd never known anyone she wanted her parents to meet. Had she really wanted to introduce _me_ to them, or did she just have pity on me when she heard that I wouldn't be with my family on Thanksgiving, and taking me with her to her family was just inevitable?

My eyes were on the flat screen while my thoughts were spinning. I took a long drag from my beer and avoided Charlie's gaze. Although he appeared to be watching TV, I could feel his eyes on me every now and again.

After a while of sitting silently, Chief Swan cleared his throat. “You know, I'm glad to finally meet one of Bella's friends.” He paused for a second, taking a sip from his bottle. His eyes that had been on the flat screen wandered to meet mine. “I know Alice, of course. I've known her since she was five. And I know Jasper. He's kind of like a brother to Bells. But other than that, no one.”

I wasn't sure what he wanted me to say, so I just remained silent, picking at the label on the bottle in my hands. I had the feeling that he wasn't done speaking yet.

“The only person other than Alice that she's ever brought into our house was Jacob.” I cringed slightly upon hearing his name, and I was sure the chief had noticed it. I felt my teeth clench but tried to keep my calm. I didn't want Charlie to know that I had animosities toward the son of his best friend. My eyes wandered to meet his, and what I found there was understanding. “I don't know what happened between Bella and him, and I might never find out. But I have a feeling that you know a lot more than I do. However, I'm not as oblivious as my daughter likes to think. I know very well that she was in love with him and that he hurt her badly. She's never been the same girl again after that.”

Charlie's lips were pressed together in a tight line, while his eyes were fixated on the bottle in his hands. “Edward, I've watched the two of you together last night and this morning. Bella says you're just friends. But I see the way you look at her, and it's nothing like a man looks at a friend, even if she's as pretty as my daughter.” I was holding my breath, waiting for him to shout at me, draw his gun or just punch me in the face. My gaze met his, and to my surprise, he appeared to be calm and composed — not the least bit mad. I slowly let out the air that started to make my lungs ache as Bella's father continued to speak.

“I can't remember the last time I've seen my daughter as happy and content as she seems to be when she's with you. I don't want you to tell me anything she doesn't want me to know. I respect her privacy and yours. There's only one thing I want to ask of you. Please, take care of my little girl. I know she trusts you, and I can see that you love her. Just promise me to be good to her.”

Chalie's eyes that were so much like Bella's were openly pleading with me. He was worried about his daughter's well-being and her happiness. I was moved by his sincerity, and I had to clear my throat, which was constricted with emotion, before I could answer him.

All I could say was, “I promise, I will.” My voice was strong and determined. I tried to put everything I felt for Bella into those four little words. I was glad to see that Chief Swan seemed satisfied with my reaction.

He placed his hand on my shoulder, squeezing lightly. “Thank you, son. I know you're a good guy.”

He smiled at me, and I smiled back involuntarily. “Thank you, Charlie.” I felt myself tense up with the significance of the moment. We locked gazes for a moment, and I saw that Chief Swan was aware of it, too.

I was relieved when he tried to lighten the mood. “Now — ” he took his hand away “ — enough with the emotional crap. Didn't we come here to escape the girly stuff? Let's have another beer and enjoy the game.” Charlie looked toward the bar. “Tom, two more, please.”

I slumped down in my seat to sit a little more comfortable. Now that I was finally able to relax. I couldn't believe that Charlie had accepted me as his daughter's boyfriend just like that. I didn't even have to try hard to get him to like me. He just gave me his blessing — freely and deliberately. It felt good that he approved of his daughter and me being together. Now, the only thing I needed to do was get Bella to acknowledge what was going on between us. I knew that it wouldn't be easy but I felt that last night was a major step in the right direction.

 

********POMH********

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was it what you had expected it to be? Some reviews for last chapter said that you anticipated Charlie to grill Edward. But that's not my Charlie. He wants to see his little girl happy.
> 
> For all of you who are interested, I'd be happy to meet you in my FB group Payton79's Fanfiction for a little chat or just to share some teasers and pictures with you.
> 
> Let me know what you think. The next regular chapter will be up on Tuesday and it will be “Kinky” ;).


	23. Chapter 20 - Kinky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi and welcome back for a little “Kinky” fun. I was overwhelmed by the amount of reviews the outtake got. Thanks to all of you for your support and love for my little story. I'm glad you enjoyed the little male bonding time. You know, reviews motivates me to write more outtakes ;).
> 
> So, what's next? Dinner, dessert and burning off some calories. Before I let you have it, I want to remind you that my betas evelyn-shaye and EdwardsMate4ever are the ones who make this story what it is, although I'm sure I ruin part of their work by my last minute tweaking. I also want to send my love to my friend and prereader Vampgirl79 for always having my back. She also created a new banner for this story which I am so very grateful for. You can find it on TWCS or in my FB group.
> 
> Now, enjoy the chapter. See you at the bottom.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight but I love it non the less.

Chapter 20 – Kinky

 

I opened the door to see Edward standing in the hall, holding a bag filled with four bottles of some liquids. “Oh, you brought quite a few bottles,” I stated, shocked by the amount of alcohol.

“I didn't want us to run dry on anything,” he answered before he gave me a passionate kiss on the lips.

He took the bag over to the dining table and unpacked two bottles of red wine, a bottle of Marsala, and a bottle of Grappa.

“What have you planned for tonight?” I asked, wide-eyed.

“I just wanted to be prepared for whatever.” He turned around to look into the kitchen. “Can I help you with anything?”

“Not really. The lasagna is in the oven, and the garlic bread, too. The only thing that's not ready yet is the salad, but I'm starting on that now. Why don't you get two glasses from over there,” I pointed to a cupboard in the living room, “and pour us some wine.”

While I sliced the tomatoes, he opened one bottle of wine and came over, setting a glass with a beautiful dark-red wine next to me on the kitchen counter.

After washing the lettuce, I peeled an onion and started to slice it. As usual, my eyes filled with tears at the biting scent.

“Shit. I hate cutting onions. It always makes me cry,” I complained as I tried to wipe away the tears that started to roll down my face. “And, like Scarlett O'Hara, I never have a tissue when I need one.”

Edward chuckled. “Do you have some anywhere here?”

“Yes, in the nightstand, bottom drawer.”

While Edward went to get some Kleenex, I mixed oil and vinegar with dried herbs and spices and poured it over the other salad ingredients that were already waiting in the glass bowl.

“Here you are,” he said, handing me two paper tissues.

After blowing my nose and wiping my eyes, I looked up at him to find him sporting an amused lopsided grin.

“You have some interesting things in your nightstand.” His voice sounded dark and sexy.

My thoughts began to race, trying to remember what might be there that could amuse and arouse him like that — certainly not the condoms. Of course, I owned the inevitable vibrator, but that had been relocated to the dresser when I started to bring Edward over here.

Noticing my confusion, he slowly pulled a pair of fur-covered handcuffs out of the back pocket of his jeans.

“I didn't know you were into that kind of stuff. Kinky,” Edward purred as my eyes went wide.

Embarrassed, I covered my eyes with my hands. “Oh my God. I had completely forgotten I had those. They were a present from Alice a few years ago. She thought it would be funny. I packed them away immediately and never thought about them again.” Of course I had wondered what it might be like to be at a man's mercy, but I'd never met someone I trusted enough to play such games with.

“So, you're saying you never tried them out? I think we should fix that.” He pulled me close, holding my hands behind my back as his lips moved over the sensitive skin of my neck. Shivers of arousal ran up and down my spine, and my center started to leak at the mere thought of Edward cuffing me to the bed.

Suddenly the timer on the oven went off, and he released me reluctantly.

“I think we should hold that thought.” He touched his lips to mine innocently, this time, before he stepped back to let me do my work.

I felt a pang of disappointment as Edward pulled away. It took me a moment to shake off the images his words and actions had conjured up. I literally shook my head to get out of the lust-induced haze and get dinner ready.

A few minutes later, we were sitting at the table, eating.

“Hmmm, this is really good,” he complimented me with his mouth full of lasagna. “Just what I was missing last night.”

I had to admit to myself that it had turned out exceptionally good tonight. “Thanks. It's my favorite. But I haven't made it in a while. I usually don't cook for myself, and you know I don't have guests over a lot. I always liked to cook.”

“You can always cook for me if you like,” he said, flashing me a brilliant smile.

In my mind, I suddenly pictured myself in a nice big kitchen, putting the final touches on dinner as Edward comes into the room. He takes me in his arm, saying, “Hi, baby, I'm home,” before he kisses me soundly. Again, I had to shake my head to get rid of the fantasy that, surprisingly, made me smile rather than feel scared.

Edward ate three helpings of lasagna and we were halfway through the second bottle of wine before I brought over the tiramisu from the fridge.

“Wow, if I had known you had prepared dessert too, I would have stopped after two pieces. With your cooking, I'll have to find a gym soon.” He laughed softly while he stroked his flat, toned stomach.

He went to get two new glasses from my cabinet and poured us some Marsala.

“I'm sure the tiramisu is not as good as the one from La Taverna Veccia, but I thought I'd make it anyway. And I promise I'll give you a chance to work off some of the calories later,” I offered, wiggling my brows suggestively.

He liked the dessert just as much as he had liked the lasagna. This time, I took it easy on the Marsala. If Edward had been serious about the handcuffs, I didn't want to be drunk.

 

****POMH****

 

When I had placed the last dried plate back in the cupboard, Edward's arms were suddenly around my waist, pulling my back against his stomach.

“I think we should start the workout now,” he whispered huskily against my neck while his hands slowly moved up until they were cupping my breasts. He squeezed them several times until my nipples were showing through my bra and the thin fabric of my tight, purple sweater. His thumbs then started to stroke the erect little peaks, making me exhale audibly.

Satisfied with my reaction, he removed his hands to grab the hem of my sweater and quickly pulled it over my head. I turned around to give him a good look at my new, quite transparent dark-purple bra. He smiled, obviously pleased with the view. “Nice. Too bad that you won't be wearing it much longer.”

Edward's lips captured mine in a searing kiss, and his arms wrapped around my waist again as he urged me towards the bedroom. Upon arrival, he backed me further into the room until I felt the bed against the back of my thighs.

“Get on the bed,” he instructed me a little breathlessly.

I obeyed at once. I sat down and scooted back to the center of the bed. He climbed onto the mattress with me, his lips on mine all the time. When I had reached the middle, I halted, and Edward's experienced hands unhooked my bra. He pulled it down my arms to throw it to the side.

“Lie down.” was his next instruction, and again, I did as I was told.

Edward was kneeling beside me when he took both my hands and brought them up above my head. Then he took both in one of his while the other one went to his back pocket, only to come back with the handcuffs a moment later. I hadn't even noticed that he'd taken them with him when we left the kitchen.

“Now, you'll be a good girl and stay very still while I chain you to the bed,” he purred as he fastened one of the cuffs around my left wrist, then wove it around one of the bars of the headboard before he cuffed my right wrist.

“So, baby, now you're at my mercy. And I have a lot of ideas what I could do with you.” Pleased with himself, he glared down at me, trying to force a menacing grin on his face. Although he worked hard to keep a strict front, not ruining the role play he had in mind, his eyes assured me that he wouldn't hurt me.

“Well, let's see what's under there.” Determinedly he unbuckled my belt, opened my jeans and pulled them down my legs, at the same time removing my socks.

“These have to go, too.” His fingertips slowly pulled down my panties, and he left me naked and exposed. Wetness started to pool between my thighs.

“I'll leave you for a few minutes. Just stay put. I'll be back.” He kissed my bellybutton before he turned around and left the room.

Unfortunately, I couldn't see where he was going. When I didn't hear his steps anymore, I heard noises from the kitchen. Edward seemed to be rummaging through my fridge for a while before he walked again.

When he came back into the bedroom, he was carrying the bag that had been holding the bottles before and put it down next to the bed. He had placed it far enough away so that I could not see what was inside.

Very slowly, always keeping eye-contact with me, he first removed his shirt and then his jeans with shoes and socks. But he kept his black boxer briefs on for now.

“Now you'll close your eyes, Bella. And no blinking. If you peek, I promise that you'll regret it.” Again, he had the menacing grin on his lips. When I didn't comply at once, he raised one brow to look more somber.

After waiting a little while longer, I finally shut my eyes. Compared to being blindfolded, it was much harder to keep my eyes closed at will.

“That's a good girl,” his husky voice whispered way closer to my ear than I had expected. “I promise you won't regret it as long as your eyes stay closed.” His nose ran up and down my neck before he planted one longer kiss on my collarbone and then pulled away completely.

My remaining senses were on high alert. But it was a hard fight to keep my eyes shut when I heard Edward taking something out of the bag.

“This might be a little cold,” he warned before I felt something chilly being sprayed on my right nipple. I flinched as the cold substance hit my skin and shivers ran down my spine that were caused as much by the cold as by excitement. It took everything in me not to open my eyes and look at what Edward was doing. After a quiet moment, something warm — his tongue — licked the cold stuff off of me. When he had eaten away whatever it was he had applied before, he went on circling my nipple, then biting playfully. In a long moan, I let out the breath I had been holding.

“You like that, huh? I can tell you that you taste really good.” His warm breath against my skin let another moan escape my mouth.

I winced slightly when the cold hit my other nipple. Just like the last time, he licked it off before pleasuring my peak with his mouth.

I felt the strong urge to run my hands through his hair, but the cuffs held me back. Knowing that I would not be able to stop him if he decided to do anything I didn't want, made me nervous, but it turned me on as well. I was quite sure he wouldn't hurt me, and there wasn't much else I could imagine to be opposed to.

When he had thoroughly sucked up whatever he had sprayed on me, his tongue drew a line from the middle of my chest, then down to my bellybutton. His hands wandered to my knees before he pushed them apart. I shuddered at the thought of being exposed like that while my hands were bound over my head.

Seconds later, I felt the same cold stuff he had put on my breasts being sprayed over my folds. I gasped in surprise when my bundle of nerves was covered by a layer of the cold substance. Edward chuckled quietly before he went to work, sweeping his tongue between my legs, eating up the chilly stuff. He was lapping up and down, his thumbs spreading my lower lips widely to grant his mouth easier access to my hidden bud. His mouth was still a little colder than normal, which made for a whole new sensation.

“Hmmm, baby, you're so delicious,” he said after sucking up the wetness that had started to flow down my thighs. “Fuck, I love how wet you are.” He slid his tongue as deep as possible into my center, circling it around my walls while one of his thumbs started rubbing my nub. My head began to spin.

I moaned, shamelessly trying to inch my hips closer to his face. “Oh, oh yes.”

Without moving his hands away, his forearms pressed my thighs down on the mattress, showing me who was in charge.

“Uh, uh, uh, uh,” he groaned while shaking his head slightly. “You stay still.” Then he concentrated on the task at hand again. Unable to grab anything to direct my tension at, the muscles in my arms contracted as Edward relentlessly continued to suck and rub me senseless.

I felt him pushing me closer to the edge by the second. My breath turned ragged, and my eyes rolled back into my head behind my closed lids.

“Oh, fuck, Edward, yes.” I screamed when all my muscles tensed, and all of a sudden I felt like I was floating weightlessly through the air, with sparks all around me.

He continued caressing me with his tongue, while I rode my high for a little while longer. His movements slowly died down as my frantic panting turned more regular again.

Edward climbed off the bed, and I heard him remove his briefs.

“Now, I bet you're dying to know what it was that I sucked off of you, huh?” He sounded amused and playful.

“Yes,” I whispered, nodding my head.

His reply was quiet but firm. “Then open your mouth.”

I heard him spray again but instead of spraying directly on my tongue, he applied the stuff somewhere else — not on my body.

Then something cold hit my tongue, and I smiled inwardly, recognizing it as whipped cream. When I tried to lick it off, I realized that Edward had sprayed it on his cock as my tongue unexpectedly hit his tip.

“Hmmm!” I moaned excitedly, closing my lips around him and licking in circles. Carefully, he started to thrust into my mouth, aware that I wouldn't be able to save myself from gagging if he went in too deep.

He groaned as his hands went to the back of my head, gripping my hair. “Oh, yeah, baby. Fuck, that's good.”

I stopped circling in favor of just sucking hard, which made him moan even louder. Considering his movements and the noises that escaped his throat, I was quite sure that he was close, when suddenly, he let go of my hair and pulled himself out of my mouth.

My lips were swollen from the friction his dick had caused. I felt Edward climb on the bed again, spreading my legs once more before I heard him open the drawer of the nightstand, probably to retrieve a condom. I listened carefully, but several seconds later, I still hadn't heard him open the wrapper. I was about to open my eyes when he finally began to speak.

“So, you're kind of at my mercy. I'm just thinking, what if I decided to take you raw? It's not as if you are in a position to stop me.” His voice was seductive, and I wasn't sure if he was serious or if the question was just part of the game.

My heart started hammering at the mere thought of us being together without a layer of latex separating us. On the other hand, I wasn't sure if we were at that point in our relationship. Admittedly, we were much closer since the night before Thanksgiving, but were we ready for something that we both had stated held a huge significance for us?

“Well, as you said, I'm hardly in a position to stop you. I think I'll have to live with whatever you decide to do. Tonight, you're the one who calls the shots.” My voice was hoarse with immense tension, arousal as well as a little bit of fear.

It was quiet for a long moment before Edward ripped the package open.

“Don't think I don't want to, but not like this and not tonight.”

There were the quiet noises of a condom being put on. I was as much relieved as I was disappointed. But this whole conversation was forgotten at once when he slowly slid his length inside me.

“Open your eyes,” he whispered, his face only inches away from mine.

I did as I was told and found the room to be only dimly lit, which was a good thing because full lighting would have blinded me after keeping my eyes shut for such a long time. My brown eyes immediately locked with his deep emerald orbs that held a depth of emotion that had never been there before — or I just hadn't noticed it.

He slowly and tenderly touched his lips to mine, moving gently against my mouth. It was a relatively chaste kiss that seemed perfect in combination with the feeling of his length filling the emptiness inside me. I opened my mouth when his tongue carefully slid inside to meet mine. As our tongues started to move together, Edward began to slowly rock his hips.

Instead of our usual heated mating, this was much more tender. Somehow, it seemed like he was making love to me now that I was, for once, unable to stop him. And it felt incredibly good. We stayed like that for a few minutes — slow determined thrusts while we were in an extensive lip-lock — until the feral need inside us took over. Our kiss turned wild and passionate as Edward's hips slammed against me with increasing force, each time driving his hardness deeper inside me.

I needed him so very much. With my hands still locked above my head, I had no chance to pull him any closer. Desperate, I bit his lip and wrapped my legs around his hips to lock him to me. He accepted my challenge with equal determination, plunging into me faster and harder as our kiss went frantic. Our teeth collided as both of us tried to get impossibly closer to the other.

I felt my release coming. Edward's cock repeatedly hit that hidden spot, which brought me closer with every thrust, while my panting turned erratic.

“Uhhh, oh, fuuuuck!” My scream was muffled by his mouth on mine when suddenly my surroundings disappeared. My toes curled and fireworks exploded all around me. My walls gripped Edward's cock hard, milking it until, only seconds later, his own climax followed.

“Oh, yeah, baby, uhhh,” he panted into my mouth as he started to twitch inside me. The movement of his hips slowed down until he lay still on top of me. Our lips were still locked for several minutes before he eventually pulled away and freed my hands.

Once unlocked, my hands moved down, and without a conscious command, they went to the back of Edward's neck, weaving through his hair and hugging him close to me for a moment.

He chuckled when he carefully rolled off of me. “I liked that. I think I should write Alice a thank-you note.” His eyes held a smug gleam.

“Don't you dare!” I said, raising one eyebrow to threaten him. “I would never hear the end of it if she knew we used them. I always refuse to tell her any specifics about what we do. She's way too invested in what's going on between us.”

Edward had removed the condom and was now lying flat on his back, his hands behind his head, a pleased grin on his lips. “Whatever you want, baby, is fine with me.”

I snuggled up to him, and he wrapped his arms around me. There was no discussion whether he would stay the night or drive home. Of course, he'd had way too much to drink to drive himself. But that was not the point. Right now, it felt like he belonged here, and neither of us wanted to part.

We didn't say another word, and I fell asleep with Edward nuzzling my hair.

 

****POMH****

 

We spent most of Sunday between the sheets. After starting the day, first making out then having wild sex again, I finally got up to make breakfast, which we, of course, ate in bed.

When I returned to the bedroom, carrying a tray full of eggs, bacon, and toast, I noticed that Edward had switched on the TV and was hopping through channels. When he reached one showing a rerun of one of my favorite _Friends_ episodes, we left that on, realizing that we both loved the show.

It turned out that the channel was running a _Friends_ marathon that day, and we spent hours watching episode after episode.

In the late afternoon, we ordered Chinese take-out and ate that in bed, too. Unfortunately, after dinner our little bubble had to burst because Edward had to go home. We decided to take a shower together, washing each other, kissing and touching a lot.

“Thank you for dinner last night and for today. I enjoyed myself very much,” Edward said as we were standing at my door, his arms around my waist, my hands at the back of his neck. He seemed reluctant to leave, but there was no way around that.

“You're welcome. In fact, you're _very_ welcome here.” I raised on my tiptoes and kissed his lips. His arms around me tightened, and his tongue once again searched for mine. We stayed like that for a few minutes until he pulled away to grant both of us some air.

“Unfortunately, I'll have a lot of work this week because I have to go on a business trip to New Orleans next week.” He had told me about his schedule before, and I was not happy about it, but I didn't let him know. “But I'll call you, and I'll see you Friday at the latest.”

Then his lips were on mine again, chastely kissing me this time.

“Bye, beautiful,” he said in a dreamy voice as he finally broke away and left with a smile on his face.

 

********POMH********

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you enjoy the little bit of kink? I think everyone should have a little fun like that every once in a while. And what about the way they spent their Sunday? That's just what I loved to do before we had the little ones.
> 
> So, next week there will be some “Coming Out”. Here's the teaser:
> 
> … Alice's eyes popped wide open when she spotted Edward and me walking toward the table, holding hands. …
> 
> That's all for now. The next chapter will be up next Tuesday, as usual. In the meantime, I'd be happy to meet you in my Facebook group Payton79's Fanfiction. See you next week.


	24. Chapter 21 - Coming Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there. Welcome to this week's chapter. I can't believe there are so many of you who come back each week to read my little story. Thank you all for your love and support for POMH.
> 
> I'm sure most of you will be glad to finally get what they've been waiting for, well, at least part of it.
> 
> Before I let you get to it, I want to send love and kisses to my betas EdwardsMate4ever and evelyn-shaye as well as my pre-reader Vampgirl79. I'm glad to be able to work with you ladies. To make one thing clear, though, every error you'll find is all mine because I always change things around until the minute I post.
> 
> Now, enjoy Bella and Edward's “Coming Out”. See you at the bottom.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight but I love to play with it's characters.

 Chapter 21 – Coming Out

 

The week had gone by quickly, with Edward and me working long hours. We talked on the phone every night, but only on Wednesday had he left work early to come to bring me dinner at my studio. We spent a nice evening with a very memorable photo-session. Edward persuaded me to pose for him, first in my underwear, then later in the nude. In the end, he had joined me in front of the camera to take some juicy live action pictures. We had a great time, although it was strange for me to be the model for once. Before saying goodbye, he had asked me to stay the weekend with him, which made my heart skip a beat.

On Friday night, Edward had picked me up to meet our friends for dinner. Alice's eyes popped wide open when she spotted Edward and me walking toward the table, holding hands. I hadn't talked to her much since Thanksgiving and, since I wasn't really sure myself what had happened, I hadn't told her about the changes in our, well, _relationship._ But I was aware that Edward and I would have to talk about us, our status, and before that talk I wasn't sure what we were. I knew what I wanted us to be, though, and for the first time, I wasn't afraid of truly being with someone. I was only afraid that Edward might feel differently.

Although I wanted to make things clear between us as soon as possible, I had decided not to address the topic before Edward's business trip. I didn't want to leave things being awkward between us if we weren't on the same page. So I pushed those thoughts away and just enjoyed being with him.

“Hey guys,” Alice greeted us, her eyes locked on our joined hands before she managed to look up at our faces.

“Hi, Alice, hi, Jazz,” we answered in unison, then laughed about it. We shared a round of hugs before Edward pulled out my chair for me and we sat down.

Alice looked smugly at us sitting quite close together, Edward's hand on my thigh, as she started the conversation. “So, Edward, how did you get along with the chief? I know he can be difficult sometimes.”

“Actually, we got along very well. He took me to a bar, and we watched sports.” He deliberately left out the part where my dad had asked him to be good to me and take care of me.

I could see in her eyes that she knew there was more. “And, how did you sleep on the couch? I think the chief has had that old thing for, what, twenty-five years?” Although Alice was beating about the bush, I knew that she was fishing for information.

“Well, I don't really know. I found another place to sleep, and that was pretty cozy.” Again, Edward hinted but didn't really give anything away.

“How did you like Forks, Ed? I remember when I first went there I thought I had traveled back in time,” Jasper laughed. Usually, when I was around, he didn't talk about the time he visited with Jacob, but he seemed to notice that I was finally over my past.

Edward laughed heartily. “It's really something, I think. It's unbelievable that a hicksville like that has bred ladies like these two, isn't it? But the landscape is really beautiful. Bella took me to First Beach. I totally understand why it's so popular with tourists.”

Both Jasper and Alice looked at me like I had grown a second head, surprised that I had given up my resistance to go near La Push. Even though the past was finally in the past, we all understood that going back there had been a difficult decision for me. Over the years, there had been several occasions when Alice or even both had wanted me to go there with them, but I'd always refused.

“So, how was your Thanksgiving?” I tried to change the subject, just when the waitress came to bring the menus and serve the bottle of red wine Alice and Jasper had already ordered.

“It went well. Jasper and my dad got along surprisingly well. They even went out together Saturday night.” I wondered if that was when he had asked his future father-in-law for Alice's hand. Edward had already told me that Mr. Brandon had given his blessing. In a strange way, that was exactly what Charlie had done with Edward, although he wasn't even my boyfriend — at least not officially.

“What did your parents say when you told them you're planning to spend Christmas in Chicago?” Even though the two of them had been living together for three years now, this Christmas would be the first they'd celebrate together. Since Alice was an only child, her parents would probably be sitting alone around their Christmas tree.

“My mom was close to tears, but my dad said it was okay before she could object. He was acting a little strange Sunday morning. Maybe he had too much to drink. Jazz refuses to tell me anything about their guys night out.” She elbowed him in the ribs in mock outrage.

He chuckled, holding his side to protect himself from further attacks. “Ed, would you please tell her that the bro code forbids us to tell on each other? She won't believe me.”

“He's right, Alice. It's against the code. Sorry.” Edward had the sincerest expression on this face, but the way his hand lightly squeezed my thigh showed me that he was helping his friend out.

After the waitress had taken our orders, Alice announced that she had to go to the ladies' room and that I absolutely needed to freshen up my lipstick. Because I wasn't wearing any lipstick, I knew what she intended, and I knew her well enough to be sure that there wasn't really a way around giving an account of myself.

As soon as the bathroom door had closed behind us, Alice turned around with an almost crazy gleam in her eyes. “Bella, how couldn't you tell me?”

“Tell you what?” I wasn't sure what there was to tell.

“That the two of you are together!” She squealed.

I looked down at my hands, too insecure to look her in the eye. “Because we're not, at least not officially,” I answered in a small voice.

“What do you mean? You look _very_ together.” She led me over to a sofa that was standing against a wall.

“And it feels like that, too. But we haven't talked about it yet,” I replied uncomfortably.

She took my hand to show me her support. “What changed? When did it change? Did anything happen?”

“Well, things have been different since Thanksgiving. We talked a lot. We still have great sex but, there's more, you know? He holds my hand, and I let him. He puts his arm around my waist, and I don't feel like I have to run away. It just feels … right.” I spoke quietly, afraid to say these things out loud and jinx it.

“Bella, that's good. You are so right for each other. You're perfect together, just like he was the piece of the puzzle that has always been missing. If you're honest with yourself, you'll see that you knew it all along.” Her gaze held mine, and I understood that she was sure of her words.

I nodded slowly, making Alice beam with joy. “So, when are you going to talk to him? Tonight?” She seemed calm and sincere on the outside, although I knew her well enough to know that she was jumping up and down on the inside.

“No,” I blurted out. “Not before his business trip. I'll wait until he's back.”

Her eyes were full of sympathy. “What are you afraid of, Bella?”

“That he doesn't want to be with me,” I whispered, unable to hide my embarrassment. I felt like a teenager all over again.

“You're being absurd. Of course he wants to be with you. Don't you see the way he looks at you? How proudly he smiles when he's holding your hand? Don't be afraid.” I wanted to believe her, I really did, but still, I wasn't ready to talk to Edward.

“I'll wait anyway. What's another week?”

“Okay, but don't wait too long.” She let go of my hand and walked over to the big mirror on the wall to check her makeup. “I have to admit that I've been suspicious since you told me that we didn't need to pick you up tonight. But I hadn't really expected to see you two walk in holding hands like it was the most natural thing in the world. Did you really do it in your bed with your dad sleeping in the other room?” she asked while she powdered her nose.

I felt the blood rush to my cheeks as Alice's eyes lit up. “Well, yes.”

“How did you do it?” She was beyond excited now.

“Alice,” I scolded.

She rolled her eyes at me. “I mean, how did you do it that the chief didn't notice?”

“Edward snuck into my room when Charlie and Sue were asleep. He kind of surprised me that first night. The second night, I had invited him. I set the alarm early enough for him to sneak back downstairs before they woke up.” I left out what we had done and what we had talked about. It was way too private even to share it with my best friend.

“I'm dying to hear more, but I guess the guys are only seconds away from sending a search party in here to look for us.” With that, Alice took my hand, and we joined Edward and Jasper again.

 

****POMH****

 

Edward never asked what Alice and I had talked about. He just greeted me with a kiss when I sat down again. It was the first time we'd kissed in public without being on a crowded dance floor and horny beyond reason.

Alice watched us the whole evening, keeping a mental record of every kiss, every touch and every gaze Edward and I shared.

This double date situation was a first for me. I'd been on double dates with Alice and her various boyfriends, but I'd never enjoyed it. Tonight, everything was perfect. We all knew each other very well, and I didn't feel the need to pretend to be someone I was not, as I always had with other men.

The night passed by in no time. After dinner, we relocated to a bar and had a few drinks and a lot of fun. When the time came for all of us to go home, it felt unbelievably good to say goodbye to our friends and drive home with Edward like it was the normal thing to do.

 

****POMH****

 

Saturday morning, I woke up in our now-usual position: my head on Edward's chest, his arms around me. His bed exuded the familiar smell — a combination of the fresh scent of the washing detergent and the very prominent, thick odor of sex.

Without lifting my head, I took in our surroundings. Our clothes were scattered on the floor around the bed — we had pulled them off in a hurry last night — while the condom wrapper was still lying on the nightstand.

The display of Edward's digital alarm clock told me it was nine a.m. Unaware of any plans for today, I sighed quietly, happy that we weren't in any hurry to leave the bed. I didn't want to wake Edward, so I just stayed where I was, reveling in the feeling of perfection I felt there and then.

About half an hour later, he began to stir, moving his hand up and down my back.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he whispered against my hair as he kissed the top of my head while his hand grabbed my ass.

“Good morning,” I answered when I lifted my head up to meet his lips with mine. Before the kiss could turn into anything serious, I broke away. “Did you have anything special planned when you decided to keep me here till Sunday?” I asked in a light and playful tone.

“Well, I had a few things in mind.” He captured my mouth again, kissing me deeply, but I stopped him after a few moments.

“Don't get me wrong, I love what we're doing, but if you planned to stay in bed, taking care of this” — I wrapped my hand around his very prominent erection — “all day, then I'll be very sore tomorrow.”

Edward chuckled as his fingers started to slowly run down the middle of my chest. “I actually did have something planned. I was going to get some Christmas shopping done, and I hoped you would help me. I could really use your input finding presents for my mom and Rosalie. And tonight, I wanted to cook for you. But you just gave me an idea, and I'm very tempted to postpone the shopping.”

His index finger was circling my belly button with the intent of moving farther south as his lips were on my neck.

“Edward, I think shopping is a really good idea, but if you don't stop what you're doing right now, I don't think we'll be leaving this bed any time soon.” I closed my eyes and was about to start working his cock with my hand when his lips left my neck with a sigh.

“You're right. But hold that thought until later.”

I rolled to my back before he jumped out of the bed and headed for the door. Standing in the doorway, he turned to look at me. One of his brows was raised in a playful way. “Are you coming? We could both use a shower.”

 

****POMH****

 

Although we had decided to head out soon, we spent a good while in the shower. As I washed him, I gave him a hand-job, and in return, he made me come twice by the use of his magical fingers.

We had breakfast at a cute little cafe before we dove into the crowd of early Christmas shoppers. We decided to call it a day earlier than expected when we realized we'd found gifts for every one. Edward had bought a beautiful black leather purse for his mother, a special edition of a medical book for his father, a colorful silk scarf for his sister-in-law and a limited edition DVD box of the complete Harry Potter movies for Emmett.

While we had been at it, I had purchased an outdoor jacket for Charlie and a pair of brown leather gloves for Sue.

All day, we'd had our arms around each other or were holding hands, laughing a lot. I couldn't remember why I usually hated Christmas shopping when it was so much fun doing it with Edward.

Back at his place, he showed me once again how well he knew his way around the kitchen when he cooked us a special meal including steak, baked potatoes and glazed carrots. Edward whirling around, frying, baking and boiling stuff was one of the sexiest things I'd ever seen and made me fall for him all over again.

After dinner, we picked up where we'd left off in the morning before we fell asleep happy and satisfied with the world.

 

****POMH****

 

Sunday morning, Edward was in the bathroom, about to take a shower, when the phone started to ring. I was still in bed, naked under the covers, but about to join him once the water was running.

“Baby, would you take that call, please?” he shouted through the closed bathroom door.

Never before had I picked up his phone. “Are you sure?” I asked insecurely. Did he really want people to know I was here?

“Yes, I'm sure. It has to be Emmett. He wanted to call before I leave for New Orleans tonight. He won't be surprised if you answer the phone.”

I was still unsure if it was alright when I took the phone in my hand and pressed the green button.

“Hello?” I greeted the caller a little hoarsely.

“Hello,” a female voice on the other end of the line answered, obviously surprised. “This is Esme Cullen. Am I speaking with Bella?” she asked. My eyes went wide and my heart began to race. This was Edward's mother on the phone, she seemed to know my name, and she didn't sound bothered by me answering her son's phone early on a Sunday morning.

I realized I had been silent for a bit too long and forced myself to talk. “Good morning, Mrs. Cullen. Yes, I'm Bella. I'm sorry, Edward asked me to pick up.” I wasn't sure, but I might have stuttered in my nervousness.

“There's no problem, honey. I just thought I'd give my son a call before he heads off to Louisiana. But if he's busy, I'll just wait for him to call me back.” I thought I heard amusement in her voice when Edward came hurrying over to me, taking the phone out of my hands.

“Hi, Mom. Sorry, but I was too far away from the phone. How are you? How's Dad?” He threw me an apologetic look when I climbed out of bed and went to the bathroom to avoid listening in on his conversation with his mother.

I took my time in the shower, hoping Edward would eventually join me. But when my hair had been shampooed and conditioned, my legs and other areas shaved and my whole body cleaned with shower gel repeatedly, I couldn't delay leaving the shower any longer.

When I was putting away the blow dryer, Edward finally entered the bathroom. He walked up to me, threw my hair over my right shoulder and started to kiss my neck as his arms wrapped around my waist to pull my back against his stomach.

“Sorry, baby. I really wanted to shower with you, but my mom just wouldn't stop talking.” He sighed with unmasked disappointment.

“Hey, how about you take a shower now, and I'll see if I'm able to cook breakfast in your kitchen?”

Reluctantly, he let go of me, and after cleaning up the bedroom, I went to the kitchen.

 

****POMH****

 

“Hmm, if you don't stop doing this, I'm going to miss my flight,” Edward moaned into my mouth as my hand moved up and down his thigh, getting closer to his erection with each upward stroke. We'd been sitting in Edward's car in front of my apartment building, saying goodbye to each other, for a good fifteen minutes.

It started as a chaste kiss, building up until we reached full make-out mode. He was right; if he wouldn't stop me soon, I'd jump him here in the middle of a relatively busy street in his car in broad daylight. Edward's mother had messed up our schedule for today, and since he'd still had to pack a bag for his business trip that started this afternoon, we'd had no time to make up for the missed shower time together.

After a few more minutes, he pulled away, holding my face in his hands, his eyes locked with mine.

“I'll miss you, you know?” he said in a serious tone.

“I'll miss you, too.” _I love you!_ Oh. My. God.

Where did that come from? I hadn't dared to think these words before. I hadn't been aware I was feeling them. And right now, they had almost spilled out of my mouth. I couldn't get into that, right then. It was neither the time nor the place to start that conversation. That talk had to wait until Edward would return from Louisiana.

“Bella, I really have to go. Please, take care of yourself.” He touched his lips to mine once more before forcing a smile on his face. “I'll call you, okay?”

I smiled back, hoping he wouldn't notice the treacherous moistness that was starting to fill my eyes. This was absurd and embarrassing. Usually we didn't see each other more than three times a week, so we'd only be missing out on maybe two meetings. But somehow, I felt my chest getting tighter, which was my cue to leave before he would notice my disproportionate sadness and think I was a total nut job.

“Have a safe trip,” I murmured before crushing my lips to his for one last time. I took my bag from the backseat and stepped out of the car. Slowly, I walked towards the entrance of my building as I watched Edward wave at me and drive away.

 

********POMH********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again. Was the chapter what you thought it would be? If not, what did you expect? I don't know if you paid close attention to the first paragraph. If you did, you may think the photo-session they had on Wednesday would be worth writing. That's what I thought, too. It actually was chapter 21 in my original draft. The closer I got to having it beta'd the more I thought that it doesn't really fit the story. It's fun and all, but it doesn't move the plot forward, and therewith, it messes with the flow of things. BUT, since I wrote it, and I like it, I'll give it to you as an outtake some time later. I don't know when yet, but you'll definitely get to read it.
> 
> Now, what's going to happen next week? Here's a little peek:
> 
> … “What are you wearing?” Edward inquired huskily. …
> 
> I'm sure you all know where this question will lead, don't you? Before I'll let you go, I want to remind you that I'd love to meet you on Facebook in the Payton79's Fanfiction group where I post teasers, pics and some other stuff. The link is on my profile.
> 
> See you again next Tuesday.


	25. Chapter 22 - Long Distance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm glad you're all back to read where Bella and Edward will go after she realized that she loves him. I'm afraid there's going to be a long distance between them in this chapter. But that doesn't mean they won't have some fun together ;). I hope you'll enjoy it, too.
> 
> As always, this chapter wouldn't be what it is without the help of my wonderful betas evelyn-shaye and EdwardsMate4. Those two ladies are the best. The mistakes you'll find are due to the fact that I have the habit to change things around until the minute I post. So don't hold it against them. I also want to thank my friend and prereader Vampgirl79 for her constant support.
> 
> Now, enjoy what long distance relationships bring with them. See you at the bottom.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I just like to play with it.

Chapter 22 – Long Distance

 

Over the last few days, I'd developed great sympathy for couples who were trapped in long distance relationships. For years, I'd watched Alice and Jasper do it — on and off in various versions. They had tried to be in a normal relationship, which didn't work over a distance of about 3,000 miles. Only seeing each other once or twice a year didn't do it for them, so they broke up. But they missed each other, so the next time, they tried an open relationship to lessen the sexual frustration. They practiced it for about six months, but it was even worse. It turned out being jealous in addition to missing your partner hurts like hell. The result was, they broke up again. After being separated for about a year, Jasper agreed to move to Seattle as soon as possible. That finally did the trick.

I had watched them go through all that for about four years but had no idea what it must have felt like to love someone who was on the other end of the US until Edward went to New Orleans for business.

Three days had passed since we'd said our goodbyes in his car, and I was missing him terribly. I probably wouldn't have seen him anyway over the last two days, but I could feel the miles between us and each one of them hurt.

Several times each day, I opened the password-protected folder on my laptop that contained the photos of our special shoot the week before. Although Edward was far from being an experienced photographer, they had turned out surprisingly well. Each time I felt lonely, I clicked through the racy pictures with the result of having my loneliness turned into arousal, which wasn't much better.

Edward was very busy, pitching a campaign to a company down in Louisiana. Ever since his arrival, he'd been with his business partners, from early morning until late at night. We'd been texting each other a few times every day, but we hadn't had the chance to talk.

I was dying to hear his voice when, Wednesday night at ten p.m., my phone suddenly started to play _Sexmachine_ by James Brown. I smiled at the sound while I picked it up.

“Hey, handsome,” I breathed into the phone, totally relieved that tonight we had the chance to speak with each other.

“Hi, beautiful.” He sounded exhausted. “I'm so glad to finally talk to you.”

“So am I. How are you? You sound tired.” I wanted to take him in my arms and cuddle him.

“I am. I'm tired, bored out of my fucking mind, and now that I hear your voice, horny as hell,” he purred with a trace of desperation to it.

“Then maybe you should sleep,” I suggested in a flirtatious tone.

“I couldn't. I canceled tonight's plans to go to bed early. I looked at our pictures earlier, and now I'm lying here in this big, empty bed, missing the way your scent is usually all over my sheets.”

“Then I think I have the advantage here. One of my pillows still smells a bit like your cologne.” I hugged the pillow in question close to me, burying my nose in it to take a whiff.

“Are you in bed right now?” he asked, his voice sounding playful all of a sudden.

“Yes, I am.”

“What are you wearing?” he inquired huskily.

Okay, so phone sex was what he was getting at. I'd never done that before, but so many things were new with Edward. So, why not try this?

I attempted to sound seductive. “I'm wearing black boy shorts and a really tight white tank top with no bra under it. What are you wearing?”

“Dark blue satin pajama pants that feel very tight in my crotch, now that I'm picturing you in bed.”

I licked my suddenly very dry lips. “Hmmm, my fingers are aching to touch you. Can you imagine my hand wrapped around your cock?” I purred into the phone.

“Oh yes, baby.” Of course I couldn't be sure, but I assumed that he was touching himself, right then. “Do you miss me?” he asked in a sexy tone of voice.

“Yes,” I answered simply.

“Where do you miss me? Are your nipples hard?”

I brushed my fingers over the erect little buds. “Oh yes, very hard.”

“Touch them for me, baby. Pinch them hard.” Moaning quietly, I did as he told me. “Are you wet? I imagine that your panties are soaking wet by now.” His voice was like liquid sex.

“You have no idea,” I told him while running my fingers over my panties.

“I want you to slip your hand into them. Can you feel the wetness?”

“Uh-huh.” I breathed loudly.

“Oh, what would I give to be able to taste you now. Dip your fingers inside you and then suck your juice off for me.” Although his request seemed odd to me, I didn't hesitate and followed his instructions. For the first time ever, I directly tasted my arousal. It could have been gross, but instead, I moaned when the sticky liquid touched my tongue.

Edward's voice was low and hoarse when he spoke again. “Hmmm, baby, you seem to like that. Tell me, how do you taste?”

“I'm fucking delicious,” I told him with a smug smile on my lips as I heard him groan on the other end.

“Now put two fingers inside your beautiful pussy and fuck yourself. Are you fucking yourself, baby?”

“Oh, oh, yes.” I licked my lips, imagining that his hands were touching me instead of my own. “Are you touching yourself, too?” I asked in return as I pumped my fingers into my center faster and harder.

“Yeah, baby, you bet. But I'm picturing your sweet, plump lips wrapped around my cock, sucking me off.” I heard that it was getting harder for him to speak. But I needed to hear more if this was going to work for me, and he knew me well enough to be aware of that. “Now, baby, I want you to take your other hand and work your clit.” I had to put him on speaker phone before I could follow his directions. “Are you working that clit?”

“Yes, oh damn, that's good.” For a while we didn't talk, only listening to the other one's pants and moans.

“Are you close, baby?” His voice was hoarse with arousal.

I was panting heavily. “Yes, I'm very close.”

“Fuck yourself harder and imagine it's me licking that clit.”

I pumped myself faster, and the image of Edward's face buried between my legs did it for me. Suddenly, my toes curled, and my back arched off the mattress as I cried out in ecstasy when my climax hit me.

“Oh yes, baby, come for me. Fuck, oh yeah.” I heard Edward groaning at the other end of the line, coming as well.

“Huh.” I could almost hear the crooked smile through the phone. “That was interesting. Maybe now I can sleep.”

“Interesting, indeed,” I giggled. “And hot.”

“Oh yeah.” He was silent for a moment, as if he was deliberating to say something or let it go. “I miss you, beautiful.” was what he finally said.

“I miss you, too,” I sighed, my post-orgasmic high almost vanished.

“I'll see you Saturday, okay?”

“Yes, Saturday.”

“Good night, beautiful.”

“Good night, Edward.” _I love you._

 

****POMH****

 

I entered a bar that was packed with people, looking for Alice. It was Thursday night and I had agreed to meet her at an after-work party, at an in-bar downtown. After scanning the whole place for a good minute, feeling really stupid just standing there, I finally spotted Alice, sitting at the bar.

She jumped off her stool to hug me hello as soon as I reached her.

“Hi, Bella. Sit down. I kept this seat here free for you.”

I sat down and ordered a martini.

“How's Edward doing in New Orleans? Have you talked to him?” she asked, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

“He's very busy. They always keep him until late at night, and he has to get up real early. Last night was the only time we talked.” I took a sip of my drink to drown my disappointment.

“Is he missing you?”

“He said so. And, well, he needed some comfort.” I knew I was setting her off, but for once, I didn't care.

“Comfort? You mean phone sex?” As usual, Alice preferred the direct approach. “Was it good?”

I felt my cheeks turn red. “Yes. I didn't imagine it could be that hot. But Edward can have a very dirty mouth sometimes.” I couldn't hide a smile as memories of last night flooded my mind.

“Huh, I see,” Alice cheered. “Did you both …”

I interrupted her, “Alice! No more details.”

“Look, honey. You can benefit from my vast amount of experience in that department. Remember, Jasper and I did long distance for a long time.” Her eyes sparkled with her eagerness to share her knowledge. Alice always tried to exchange dirty little stories with me, but my motto was more like _a lady doesn't kiss and tell_. Because of that, Alice got very frustrated with me at times, but I didn't care. And right now, it didn't matter. Our long-distance time would be over on Saturday.

“I know. But Edward will be back in two days, and I think we can wait that long.” I downed the rest of my martini, and the warmth spreading through my stomach made me feel a little better.

“You miss him, don't you?” Alice asked, all playfulness gone.

“Like crazy. I didn't know it would be like this.” I played with my empty glass to avoid her gaze. Of course, no one knew what I was talking about better than her.

“Bella, you're in love. That's totally normal. I know you're not used to being this close to someone, but you're so perfect together. You just need to talk to him.” Just like last week, her assurance made me feel a little better, and I made up my mind to talk to Edward.

“I will. As soon as he's back and we have some time to ourselves, I will talk to him. But I'm nervous. What if he wants to just stay friends?” I hated how loving Edward made me so vulnerable.

“He won't. It's been in his eyes all along. Don't be afraid. By the way, are you sure you don't want to go dancing with me and Jasper tomorrow?” Alice handed her empty glass to the bartender who put a newly filled one down in front of her.

“Yes, I'm sure.” For years I'd been used to going out with the two of them, and I'd never minded being alone, but somehow we had turned into a foursome, and I would only miss Edward more if I were to go to a club with Alice and Jasper Friday night. “What are we doing Saturday? Edward's flight is scheduled to land at four p.m., and he texted me that he wants me to make plans for the evening with the two of you.” Although I would have preferred to have him all to myself for the whole weekend, I was okay with spending a few hours with our friends. We would have the whole night and Sunday to be alone, just the two of us.

“We could go to McKinney's. We haven't been there in a while, and we can eat and have a few drinks. I'm sure the two of you won't want to stay out very long. After all, you have to make up for the lost week.” She winked at me, and I had to smile. I was sure hoping for a long weekend in bed.

If it could only be Saturday already.

 

********POMH********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, you finally learned a bit about Alice and Jasper's history. What do you think about it? A miracle they made it or were they just meant to be.
> 
> I'm sorry that this was such a short one, but there wasn't more to be said about this and what happens next is a whole different story. I hope you enjoyed the little phone fun because from here on out, things will change. Here's a little preview:
> 
> … “Bella Swan, is that you?” he asked again, trying to get me to look at him. …
> 
> Who could be calling after Bella? What does it mean? So many questions. I'd like to discuss them with you in my Facebook group Payton79's Fanfiction.
> 
> I'll see you next week with the answers, and believe me, there'll be a lot more you've been wondering about for. Bye


	26. Outtake - Photo Session

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day, ladies. I hope you all have someone to cuddle today. To show you how much I love you all for your love and support for my little story, I wanted to give you a special Valentine's Day gift. If you remember, I recently cut out a chapter because it messed with the flow of the story. But I promised you to give it to you later. Well, today is later, lol.
> 
> I have to tell you that this is unbeta'd, and I'm sure there are lots of mistakes in here. I hope you don't mind because, had I waited to have it edited, you wouldn't be reading this today.
> 
> Before I let you read about the Photo Session, I want to remind you again that this chapter chronologically takes place after the handcuff play and before the coming-out dinner. So, now I let you read and hopefully enjoy it. See you at the bottom.
> 
> Disclaimer: Twilight's not mine, yada, yada, yada …

Outtake – Photo Session

 

I couldn't remember the last time I'd been as happy as I was right then. Although Edward had to work late every evening, and I had a deadline for a job as well, but we talked on the phone every night. I missed him, and that felt like it was exactly the way it was supposed to be.

It was Wednesday night around nine p. m., and I was working late in my studio, post-processing the shoots from Monday and Tuesday, when I heard an unexpected knock on the door. I went over slowly, unsure who might visit at this time of day. Very carefully, I opened the door only an inch wide to make sure I could shut it again immediately if the intruder meant no good. I spotted Edward standing there, holding several bags of take out food in his hands. My heart jumped at the sight of him. He was wearing a gray suit, a white shirt with the top button undone and a red tie, which was hanging loosely around his neck.

“Hey, beautiful,” he said, smiling his wonderful crooked smile. “I thought you might be hungry.” He held up the bags for me to see.

I opened the door further, flung my arms around his neck, and raised up on my tiptoes to kiss his lips. “Hi, handsome. How did you know? I'm actually famished.”

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me real close. We stood in the doorway for several minutes, lost in a deep, passionate kiss before Edward reluctantly pulled away.

“Hey, I thought you were hungry. Maybe we should eat first and have dessert later.” He wiggled his brows a few times to make sure I understood what he was implying.

I stepped aside and let him in before I closed the door. “Maybe you're right. Didn't you say you'd have to work late tonight?” I asked as he took the boxes of Thai food out of the bags.

“Actually, I'd have to, but I left early. I knew you would be here, and I wanted to see you tonight.” He placed a soft kiss on my forehead before he hung his suit jacket over the back of a chair, and we both sat down to eat.

I was happy that he'd decided to come. I'd missed him terribly over the last two days. For a moment, I deliberated whether I should tell him or not, but I decided to keep quiet.

The food was really good. Edward told me about the campaign he had to finish before he could go on his trip next week, and I explained about the things I was working on.

“So you didn't shoot anything today?” he asked with an expression I didn't understand.

I answered carefully, “No, not today.”

“Have you ever done a photo shoot yourself, as a model I mean?” The suggestive raise of his brow made me nervous, but I still didn't know what he was getting at.

“No, not professionally. Why?” My bewilderment must have shown clearly on my face.

“Well, I thought about trying something if you don't mind.”

Now he had me totally confused. “What do you mean?”

“I'd like to be the photographer tonight with you as my model.” His wicked grin warned me that he was up to no good, but I was intrigued.

“Okay boss, what do you want me to do?”

He jumped up from his chair and went over to the part of the studio where I stored some furniture and other props. He chose a chaise lounge and pushed it over to stand in front of the white screen. Then he went back, going through several things, returning with a dark-red drape that he threw over the screen. After going back and forth a few times, he had created a scene with the black chaise lounge against the dark red background, a round side table next to the high end, and a vase with fake white orchids on top.

He appraised his work once again before looking at me invitingly.

“Are you done? So what now?” I asked, smiling what I hoped looked seductively.

“Come over here, and let me look at your clothes.”

Slowly, I walked over to him, stopping about a foot away from him. He looked me over at length. I was wearing a black v-neck sweater, blue, skinny jeans, and I didn't know why, but this morning, instead of the usual Chucks, I'd put on my high heeled boots.

“Hmm, most of this has to go,” Edward said shaking his head. “Take off the sweater first.”

Without a word, I did what he told me to, slowly pulling it over my head. My eyes locked on his face as a shiver of excitement ran through me, not really knowing what he was up to. He tried to hide the smile that was forming around his lips when he spotted my dark-blue lacy bra.

“Take off the jeans, too,” he instructed in a firm voice.

I bent down to unzip my boots and took them off. Then I opened the button of my jeans, slowly pulled down the zipper and climbed out of my pants. The smile finally broke through when he saw my dark-blue lace panties completing the ensemble of lingerie. I was glad to find that he was pleased by what he saw.

“Put the boots back on, and sit down on the chaise.” He sounded a bit husky as he tried to make his tone authoritative.

After silently putting the boots back on, I first went to set the lighting. Then I adjusted the camera. Taking a deep breath to steady my nerves, I walked over to the setting Edward had created and sat down on the edge of the seat.

“What do you want me to do?” I asked insecurely.

“Turn to the left, cross your legs. Put your hands behind you and lean on them, arching your back.” He seemed to know exactly what he wanted, so I obeyed. The way he gave commands made my center leak.

 _Click, click._ “Throw your head back.” _Click, click._

It was a strange feeling to be the model for once, instead of being the one who gave the instructions. But I couldn't deny that I enjoyed it.

“Now, turn to face me directly, spread your legs wide and lean with your forearms on your knees. Let your hair fall around your face. And now you look up at me.”

_Click, click, click._

He stepped away from the camera and walked over to me. When he stopped in front of me, I sat up straight, curious to find out what he had in mind now.

“This has to come off,” he whispered as he unhooked my bra and removed it. “That's better.”

My nipples began to harden immediately. I was sure Edward noticed it by the way his Adam's apple moved, but he didn't let it show as he gestured towards the high end of the chaise. “Now, sit over here.” I scooted over and waited for more instructions. “Lie on your back and put your legs up there.” I laid down and put my legs up on the backrest, crossing them. “Great.”

He walked back to the camera. “Arch your back and look at me, baby.”

I arched my back off the seat, placed my arms above my head and turned to looked over my shoulder to meet his eyes.

“Yes, that's it.” _Click, click, click._ ”Take your panties off,” he commanded. I sat up and turned to face him again before I could stand. I felt very self-conscious as I pulled my lacy panties down and let them slide down my legs. Then I stepped out of them, and suddenly, I felt very self-conscious.

Edward's eyes became black with lust as he walked over to me again, placing me in a pose similar to the one Rose took in Titanic when Jack drew her picture.

_Click, click, click._

Edward removed his tie and pushed a few buttons on the camera. Then he strolled over to me, stopped at the low end of the chaise lounge, and let his eyes roam over my naked body. His dark-green orbs sparkled with hunger when he grabbed my legs and pulled me towards him, placing my ass on the edge of the seat. Slowly he unzipped one boot, took it off and then removed the other one. Without breaking our eye-contact he went down on his knees.

He shot me a wicked grin when the camera clicked. Then he stretched out his index finger, and I held my breath as he slowly and leisurely ran it through my folds — from the clit down to my entrance, dipping about half of the finger in and circling it around. I exhaled in a quiet moan.

“Does this always happen to the model during a photo shoot? Do all of them get this wet?” he purred as he pulled his finger out and carefully slid it inside again.

“That depends on the photographer. They usually don't look at the models the way you look at me,” I breathed out while Edward's finger moved back up to circle my bud. The camera was clicking every ten seconds. I'd never shot porn before, neither in front of the camera nor behind it. The thought of taking pictures of us having sex disturbed me but turned me on even more.

“I really need to taste you,” Edward murmured before he bent down and swept his tongue over my cleft, licking off the liquid that was already flowing from my center. “Hmm, you have no idea how delicious you are, baby. Better than the best tiramisu.”

With that, he pushed his tongue inside me while his arms wrapped around my thighs. One hand was on my stomach, the thumb of the other one slowly rubbed my clit.

“Oh, yes,” I moaned when Edward curled his tongue, trying to suck me dry. His thumb rubbed harder while his tongue moved around frantically. I felt like my lungs weren't getting enough air. My panting grew heavier as goosebumps formed on my skin, and my back arched off the chaise.

“Uhhh, fuck, yes. Ohh,” I cried out as my eyes rolled back and my insides exploded with my arriving climax. Reveling in Edward's continuing caresses, I slowly came down from my high.

My eyes opened again as my breath was still ragged. I watched him stand up, wipe his mouth and start to slowly unbutton his shirt.

“The appetizer was great, don't you think? Now the main course will be served shortly.” Edward's chest was bare as the camera was still clicking regularly. Next, he unbuckled his belt, opened his pants and took off the rest of his clothes, only a condom remaining in his hand.

“Get up,” he ordered, and I stood up, waiting for the next instruction. He sat down in the middle of the seat, put on the condom, and gestured for me to come closer. I walked the two steps toward him, knelt on the chaise lounge, straddling his legs, and positioned his latex covered erection at my entrance. My hands moved to grab the hair at the back of his neck. Very slowly, I lowered myself onto him until my ass rested on Edward's thighs. I moaned out in relief as I felt him fill me completely.

He put his hands on my hips as our eyes locked. Without any haste, I lifted myself up until he almost dropped out before I moved down again, grinding my clit into his pubic bone.

“Baby, you're fucking killing me,” Edward groaned as I repeated the procedure once again.

I bit my lip when I had an idea. “What do you want me to do, Edward?” I purred before I licked the shell of his ear, pressing my tits against his chest.

He chuckled sexily when he realized that I was reversing our parts from the last time we'd had sex at the studio.

“Tell me, baby, what shall I do?” I asked once again, biting his earlobe.

“I want you to move your ass and bounce up and down on my cock. And I want you to moan my name when my dick is inside as deep as it goes.” I felt him smile against my neck when a whimper escaped my throat at his dirty talking.

I started to move up and down again, faster than before but still quite slowly, savoring the feeling being connected like that.

“You like that, huh? You like it when I tell you what to do.” His tongue licked up and down my neck as his hands grabbed my ass cheeks, slamming me down forcefully.

Another moan broke its way to the surface when he moved his hips up to drive into me to meet my downward thrust. Edward's mouth grabbed my left nipple and bit it lightly, then his tongue swirled around as our movements gradually turned wilder. Each time my hips met his, he hit my special spot, making me moan louder by the minute.

“Oh yes, baby. That's so fucking good. Keep going,” Edward choked out while his lips were on my throat again.

I started to grind into him more and more, rubbing my clit against his skin and increasing the pressure on my g-spot with each downward move. I noticed his breathing speed up as I felt myself drift closer and closer to the edge. “Edward!” I moaned when I felt everything around me disappear and white hot pleasure shot through me, making me cling to his hair in a desperate attempt to stay sane.

My center clamped down on Edward's cock again and again, until seconds later, he twitched inside me, releasing his load. I collapsed against him, holding on to his neck to steady myself.

For what seemed like a very long time we just sat there, trying to breathe more regularly before I noticed the camera clicking in a steady rhythm again.

“When did you come up with that photo shoot idea?” I asked him straightening up.

“Well, I don't know. It just occurred to me when I was thinking about you earlier today. I realized I don't have a picture of you, then one led to the other, and I had a plan.” He smiled a shy smile that made me want to kiss those lips until they're swollen.

“So, you had this all planned?” I asked playfully, running my fingers through his hair, lightly scratching his scalp.

He shuddered a bit before he answered me with a smug smile, “More or less, yes.”

“You're a naughty boy, Edward Cullen, a very naughty boy.” Gripping his hair a little tighter, I leaned in and touched my lips to his.

 

****POMH****

 

I found Edward bent over my computer when I returned from the bathroom. “Are you satisfied with your work?”

“I had a great model.” He pulled a USB flash drive out of the port and put it in his pocket.

“You know I have the right at my own picture, right?”

He wrapped his arms around my waist and looked into my eyes.

“They're just for private use. I need something to look at while I'm away next week.” My face fell slightly at the idea of him being gone for a whole week. One of his hands rose to cup my cheek. I thought he was about to say something but then he didn't. Instead, he bent down and kissed me tenderly.

“I guess I have to go. It's late, and I have to work early tomorrow,” he said pulling away reluctantly. “But I'll see you on Friday. We're meeting Alice and Jasper first for dinner, and later, we'll go to a bar for some drinks. I'll pick you up at seven thirty. And pack a bag. I want you to stay at my place till Sunday.”

He kissed me again, deeply and passionately, before he finally left.

 

********POMH********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm, hot, wasn't it? But it was also kind of sweet I think. What's your opinion? Tell me here or on Facebook in Payton79's Fanfiction.
> 
> Have a great Valentine's Day. See you next week.


	27. Chapter 23 - A Ghost From the Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank God it's Tuesday again. I couldn't wait to give you a few answers to your questions.
> 
> I hope all of you had a wonderful and romantic Valentine's Day. Mine was not so wonderful but that's a different story.
> 
> Anyway, I'd like to ask you all to give a round of applause for my fantastic betas EdwardsMate4ever and evelyn-shaye who polish my words and make them shine. I also want to thank my prereader Vampgirl79 for always being there for me when I need her. You ladies are wonderful and I wouldn't know what to do without you.
> 
> Now I'll let you get to it. See you at the bottom.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight but I'll be eternally grateful to Stephenie Meyer for giving all our fantasies a chance to live.

Chapter 23 – A Ghost From the Past

 

_**Negotiations are coming to an end. Finally. Can't wait be home. - E** _

I was reading Edward's most recent text while I waited for my coffee to-go. I smiled at his impatience to return to Seattle. Unfortunately, he'd been too busy to call me over the last few days, so our phone sex on Wednesday was the only time we'd actually talked to each other since he'd left. Although we'd exchanged numerous text messages, I was missing him badly and couldn't wait to see him again on Saturday.

It was Friday afternoon, and I was on my way back to the studio after an appointment with a client. My evening with Alice the night before had distracted me from my current loneliness, as well as the insecurity about having to tell Edward how I felt.

I sent a quick text back, telling him that I was happy he'd been successful and that I was looking forward to seeing him again as the boy behind the counter handed me the cup.

Scrolling through all the messages Edward had sent me over the past days, I left the cafe when I unexpectedly bumped into someone.

“Sorry,” I murmured, and without really looking up from my phone, I turned to walk toward my car.

“Bella?” a deep, husky voice called after me.

I froze where I stood. I would recognize that voice out of a million. It had been resounding in my ears for what felt like a lifetime.

Unable to turn around and look at the man whose memory had been haunting me day and night for years, I stayed rigid. I was feeling paralyzed while dozens of different emotions rushed over me.

“Bella Swan, is that you?” he asked again, trying to get me to look at him.

I took a deep breath, turned around slowly, and for the first time in seven years, I laid eyes on Jacob Black. He seemed to be as surprised to see me as I was. I'd never expected to run into him in the streets of Seattle when he was supposed to be living in New York. At least that's what I'd been told.

His expression was pained but at the same time relieved. After hesitating for a good while, he slowly walked the few steps over to me.

“Jacob!” was the only word I could choke out. I felt strange. For years, I had imagined a situation like this, running into him unexpectedly. In the beginning, I'd been sure I would cry when all the pent-up hurt and love came crashing down on me. Then later, when I'd begun to get over him, I would have bet everything I had that I'd scratch his eyes out and knee him in the crotch, releasing all the anger I'd harbored for so long — taking revenge for the way he'd fucked up my life.

Now that he was really standing in front of me, I felt none of said emotions. There was neither a need to attack him nor to kiss him. I couldn't believe it, but just that second, I realized that all the passion I'd felt loving him as well as hating him was gone. It had probably vanished a while ago, and I just hadn't noticed.

Standing there, looking into each other's eyes, neither of us seemed to know what to say. We'd known each other forever, and now we weren't even able to exchange a few pleasantries.

Jacob hadn't changed much. His brown eyes were still bright, his black hair short and glossy, and his beautiful russet skin was only starting to show a few lines around his eyes. He still looked fit.

“Bella,” Jake started after a very long moment. “How are you? You're looking great.” His voice sounded a bit shaky.

“I'm fine. What are you doing here in Seattle? Last thing I heard, you were still living in New York.” I clutched the strap of my purse to hide my nervousness.

“I am. I'm here on business. I just flew in this morning, and I leave next Saturday.” He uneasily shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “So you still live here?”

“Yes. I lived with Alice until she and Jasper bought a house three years ago.”

We were both quiet again, and I hated the awkwardness between us. I'd never been good with uncomfortable situations.

“Bella, I'm actually really glad I ran into you. I wanted to tell you once again how sorry I am for everything that happened between us all those years ago.” His expression was sincere, and I was sure he was about to continue.

I interrupted him before he would get any deeper into it. “Jacob, this is neither the time nor the place for that conversation.”

“Are you in a hurry, or can I buy you some coffee, and we can talk?” His face was hopeful, and I decided that, since no client was directly involved, I could do the rest of my work later that day or tomorrow.

“I have a little time.”

We went back into the cafe where I had just bought my coffee to-go and sat down at a table in a quiet corner. Only after the waitress had taken our order, Jacob began to speak.

“I was hoping to meet you while I'm here. It's a good thing we ran into each other like that, because I doubt I'd have mustered the courage to call you.” He paused to clear his throat before he continued. “I'm sorry, Bella, for everything I did and said the last time we saw each other. I've been beating myself up about it for so long. I'm still embarrassed.” He hung his head, his apology honest.

“Jake, for years I've been wrecking my brain over and over to understand what happened, and I came up with nothing.” Maybe he could finally explain his behavior, and I could put my inner unease about that to rest.

Again there was nothing but silence. The waitress brought our order, and I started to sip my coffee. Jacob put cream and sugar in his cup and stirred for a good while before he took a deep breath and finally began to speak again.

“You caught me by surprise. When I came home that summer, I'd expected to find the _little sister_ I'd left when I went to college. But time didn't stand still, not even in Forks.” He gave a short humorless chuckle at his own joke. “You were no child anymore and barely even a teenager. You had become a woman — a beautiful woman. I instantly fell for you. But I wanted to keep you as my friend. I was torn between my need to be close to you and the feeling that it was all wrong — like incest in a way.” He scrunched his nose, not looking at me while he went on explaining.

“There was no future for us, anyway. You were here. I was in New York. And that night, I was suddenly overcome by my desire for you. I let my guard down, and it happened. I felt that it was wrong immediately after, and I didn't know how to handle it. So I ran away. It was unfair to you, and I'm really sorry for that.” His voice had not been much more than a whisper. Somehow what he said made sense, and I was surprised to find that talking about all that didn't hurt anymore.

“Jake, I kind of understand that, or I'm trying. But what happened in New York is beyond my comprehension.” Even though I hadn't intended it, my words came out like an accusation.

“I was embarrassed and sorry for what I'd done to you in Forks. But I was also so very happy to see you again, to have the chance to make things up and be your friend again. You were so important to me. You still are.” One of his hands reached out to touch mine. But he thought better of it and placed it on the table in front of him instead. I was relieved. So I carefully let out the breath I'd been holding, afraid of Jacob touching me in such an intimate way.

“Then everything got out of hand. I said some things that came out wrong and I didn't want to say. And when you tried to leave, I panicked. I couldn't let you go like that. But when we were standing so close to each other at the door, I just lost control. I needed you so much. I wanted to make everything up to you. I told you the truth when I said I loved you. And I really wanted to be with you.” His eyes bore into mine as if he could make me believe him with his stare. “Then, right after, I realized that I couldn't.”

I nodded shortly. “Because you had a girlfriend you didn't tell me about.” It was said matter-of-factly. I had come to terms with it long ago.

“Not only that. I didn't love her, and we broke up soon after you left. But there were still my rivaling emotions, feelings like I had defiled my sister. And then, Bella, I wasn't boyfriend material. I was never faithful to my girlfriends back then. I was egoistical, I was stupid, and my career always came first. I didn't want you to be a part of that, and I figured it would be better to hurt you that once than having to hurt you again and again if we'd been together. I wasn't ready for a serious commitment, but you deserved nothing less than that. I've been thinking about that night a lot, and I've been regretting it ever since. I'm so sorry.”

He seemed to have given the whole thing a lot of thought over the years. His expression was that of a sinner who was waiting to be absolved from his sins. And I was the only person in the world who could give him that. I wanted to redeem him of his guilt because I'd moved on and was finally in a good place. But before I could do that, I needed him to know what he'd really done to me.

“Jake, what happened back then has affected me for so long. I felt cheap and easy for losing my virginity to someone who didn't even take me out on a date. It has taken me years to open up to a man again. If we'd met any earlier, I might have tried to kill you on the spot. But I want you to know that I'm over all of that. My life is back on track, and I'm happy. I forgive you. I think I forgave you a long time ago. I just didn't see it.” I felt relieved when I noticed that Jake's expression changed, like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

“Thank you, Bells. That means so much to me.” Now he dared to place his hand on top of mine that was lying on the table, squeezing it emphatically. Although it was strange to feel his touch, I let him be.

“I think I'm saying this as much for my own sake as I'm saying it for yours. I've been carrying this around long enough.” I flashed him a small but genuine smile, and he mirrored it.

When I looked at Jake now, with all the pain and regret behind us, I realized how much I'd missed him all these years. Not the guy I'd been in love with, but my brother — the boy that had known me almost my entire life. And I longed to reconnect with him in some way.

“Bella, is there any chance of us being friends again?” he asked, almost holding his breath while waiting for my answer.

I really wanted that. “We can try. Tell me about you. What have you been doing?”

And he told me that he was still working at the bank. He'd bought a condo a few years ago. Once, he'd almost gotten married but chickened out. He hadn't seen his father in years and missed him, but he'd never dared to come near Folks.

It was nice to learn about him again. The longer he talked, the more the awkwardness disappeared, and he turned into my Jacob again; the guy who'd played with me, the one we'd had family barbeques with.

“So, what about you? What's there to know about Bella?” he asked when he was done reporting about himself.

“Nothing much,” I answered.

I talked about my job, how I worked with Jasper. That Alice and I were as close as ever. I told him about Charlie and Sue and news from Folks. What I didn't talk about was the thing that was really dearest to my heart. Edward was constantly on my mind, and he was the whole reason I was able to forgive Jake. But since I didn't really know where we stood on the whole relationship thing, I decided it would be better to not mention him at all, and Jacob didn't seem to dare ask whether I had a boyfriend.

We had a good time after the heavy stuff was said and done with. We sat in the cafe for about an hour, catching up and laughing a lot.

“Jake, I have to go. I have to talk to my assistant before she leaves the studio for the weekend. Maybe we can meet some other time this week. Why don't you call Jasper, and we can do something together?” I said as I stood up to leave.

“I'd like that. I'll give him a call.” He stood up as well, looking at me as if deliberating something before he hesitantly closed the gap between us and gave me a cautious hug. I stiffened slightly, but when I realized that there was nothing inappropriate or sexual about the gesture, I relaxed a little and hugged him back.

“Bye, Jacob.” I pulled away from him and walked towards the door.

“Bye, Bella,” he said just as I left the cafe.

Now that I'd finally gotten some closure, I couldn't wait for Edward to come home so that I could move on with my life. And for the first time in my adult life, I was looking optimistically into the future — a future with Edward.

 

********POMH* ************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I get the feeling that it won't be that easy? Right, because I'm writing this ;). But don't worry, as I already told you several times, there will be a HEA.
> 
> So, do you believe Jacob? I hope you see now that he's not all bad. He really cares for Bella although it didn't seem that way back then.
> 
> I apologize for the lack of Edward in this chapter but he's just not yet back from New Orleans. I promise he'll be back in chapter 24.
> 
> And what's next? Well, it's about to get a little rough. Here's a teaser:
> 
> … “So, Bells, is Edward here your boyfriend?” Jake asked the very worst question in the world in a light, conversational tone. …
> 
> Oh, oh! Poor Bella! What's she supposed to answer? Tell me here or on FB in the group Payton79's Fanfiction.
> 
> See you next week with some explanations.


	28. Chapter 24 - The Distance Between Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi and welcome back! I can't thank you all enough for your support of my story. I try to answer every review, but if I should forget one, please know I sure didn't do it on purpose.   
> Unfortunately, I can't answer guest reviews. So, if you're a guest who reviewed, please know that I cherish your thoughts as much as everyone else's.  
> I want to shout out a loud and clear thank you to my brilliant betas evelyn-shaye and EdwardsMate4ever. I can't imagine doing this without you, ladies. I also want to thank my friend, supporter and prereader Vampgirl79 for just being there and so much more.  
> Now, as I promised you last week, Edward will be back this chapter. But be prepared for a bumpy ride. Enjoy, and I'll see you at the bottom.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own nothing but I love it non the less.

 

Chapter 24 – The Distance Between Us

 

Saturday at noon, I was at my studio, absentmindedly organizing some stuff. The hours until I would finally see Edward again seemed to drag on at an extremely slow pace. My intention had been to kill the time until Edward would pick me up for our evening with Alice and Jasper. 

I was humming Elvis tunes when I came across the pictures of Edward that I'd taken for the company website a few weeks ago. Smiling from ear to ear at the sight of his crooked grin, my skin started to tingle with arousal at the memories of what had followed that shoot.

I sat up with a start when I heard  _Sexmachine_ sounding from my pocket. Smiling happily, I pushed the “accept” button.

“Hey, handsome. What's up? Couldn't you wait until tonight?” I teased.

“Hi, Bella.” It felt so good to hear his voice again. We hadn't talked to each other since Wednesday, and I missed him terribly. “I just wanted to let you know that my flight is delayed, and we won't be landing before eight. You should go to McKinney's with Alice and Jasper, and I'll join you later, okay?”

My heart sank a little at the prospect of even more hours ahead without him, but I pulled myself together, reminding myself that I'd be with him tonight.

“That's too bad. You're sure you'll make it?” I asked, afraid that he'd be too late or too tired to meet us there.

“Yes, I definitely want to see you tonight. I'll be there, even if I have to walk all the way from the airport.” He sounded determined, and my stomach fluttered when I noticed the longing in his voice.

“Okay, I'll see you tonight.”

“Bye, beautiful.”

 

****POMH****

 

I couldn't get Alice on the phone all day, so I decided to take a taxi to McKinney's and meet her and Jasper there.

Usually, people had to wait for me. Not that I was always overly late, but I mostly showed up a few minutes after the agreed time. Tonight was one of the very rare occasions when I was the one to arrive first.

I chose a booth and sat patiently, going over my text conversation with Edward again while I was waiting. At about 8:15, there was a tap on my shoulder, and I looked up to see Alice.

“Hey, you're late,” I said as I stood up and hugged her hello.

“Hello, Bella. Sorry, but we had to make a little detour,” Jasper told me in a strange tone of voice when he wrapped his arm around me to greet me.

When he released me, he took a step aside, and my eyes settled on a shyly smiling Jacob.

“Jake? What are you doing here?” I asked, a little confused before I gave him a short, friendly hug.

“I called Jasper, and he invited me to come. I hope that's okay with you?” Jacob looked me in the eye to make sure I didn't mind him being there.

What could I say? It was definitely too late to uninvite him. And we had decided we wanted to be friends again. So I shrugged my shoulders and answered, “No, it's okay. Remember, I told you to call Jasper to make plans.”

I sat down again, Jasper and Alice taking seats across from me, before Jacob, after a short hesitation, sat down beside me.

“Bella, where's Edward?” Alice asked as soon as she was comfortable.

“His flight is delayed. He'll come here as soon as he can.” I couldn't hide the disappointment I was feeling, but for once, Alice didn't seem to pick up on it, or at least, she didn't say a word about it.

“That's a shame. But as long as he's still going to join us, it's okay. Let's go ahead and order some drinks.”

Although I was staring at the entrance most of the time, we still had a lot of fun.

I wasn't sure what Jasper and Jacob's friendship had been like over the last years. I knew that it had taken some strain after what happened when Alice and I visited New York, but I had assured Jazz that I didn't want him to be forced to choose between Jacob and me. I knew they'd stayed in contact even after Jasper moved to Seattle. But since no one ever really mentioned Jake in my presence, I didn't know any details.

Jasper and Jake told us lots of funny stories about their college years, and it really was like old times — before all the hurt and pain. The only difference was that I was no longer in love with Jake.

We ate, and we had some drinks, and after some time, Jacob excused himself to go to the bathroom.

“I wasn't sure if it was really okay to bring him,” Alice said quietly as soon as Jacob was out of earshot. “I think it's not, but Jazz didn't ask for my opinion _before_ the fact.” She frowned at her boyfriend who just looked a little uncomfortable.

“No, it's alright. I forgave him. I'll never be able to forget, but I'm happy where I am now. There's no use in holding old grudges.” She looked at me to make sure I was telling the truth, when suddenly, someone slumped down next to me.

“Hey, baby. I'm so glad I'm finally here.” Edward sighed, flashing me a brilliant crooked smile. My heart did a happy jump at the sight of him, while my whole body began to hum from being close to his.

“Hi, Ed. Good to see you,” Jasper greeted him, but Edward paid attention only to me.

“I missed you,” I whispered, and only a split second later, his lips were on mine.

They felt warm and tasted wonderful. All the tension of the last few days left me when I melted in his arms. As his tongue carefully traced my lower lip, I opened my mouth and invited him in, while my hands moved up and wove through the hair at the back of his neck. It took everything in me to keep sitting down instead of moving over to sit on his lap, straddling his legs. Very quickly, our kiss grew too intense for public eyes, and we heard someone clear their throat.

Jasper laughed as we broke away from each other, breathless. “You two should get a room.”

“Later,” Edward answered, his tone laced with amusement and unmistakable promise. “I'm starving. The food on the plane really sucked.” 

I had forgotten all about Jacob when he returned to the table to find Edward, who was studying the menu, sitting in the seat Jake had vacated only minutes ago. Suddenly, it dawned on me that I hadn't told Edward about Jake's reappearance in my life. I'd thought about it, but then I decided that it was not something to tell over the phone while he was away across the country. I'd been sure that we'd have time enough to talk about that and everything else before the two of them would eventually meet. But I wasn't that lucky.

Jacob stood next to the table looking at Edward, waiting for me to say something. I realized that I would have to introduce the two.

“Uhm, Edward.” He looked up from the menu and noticed Jake standing next to him. “This is Jacob Black. Jake, Edward Cullen.” I held my breath for a second, deliberating how to explain the presence of the man I knew Edward despised for what he'd done to me in the past. “Jake is in town for a week and we thought we could catch up a little.”

Edward's face fell, and he looked like he was either about to vomit or punch Jacob's face.

“Jacob. You want to catch up with Jacob,” he ground out. He looked at me flabbergasted, completely ignoring the man standing next to him.

I shifted my weight, feeling insecure and afraid. “Yes. We met yesterday, on the street, and we talked things through. We're okay.” He stared at me intently, and I added, “Can we talk about it later, please?” My eyes were pleading for him to not make a scene.

Edward turned back to look at Jacob, who seemed to feel really uncomfortable under his scrutiny.

“Hello, Edward. I'm Jake,” Jacob muttered hoarsely before extending a hand to Edward.

“Ed, Jake called me, and I suggested that he should come tonight,” Jasper chimed in, trying to ease the tension.

After another moment of trying to stare him down, Edward finally shook Jacob's hand. I could see Jake's shoulders relax, and after releasing Edward's hand, he grabbed a chair and sat down at the side of the table.

“So, Bells, is Edward here your boyfriend?” Jake asked the very worst question in the world in a light, conversational tone.

I felt my mouth open, but nothing came out. What could I answer? I wanted him to be, but I didn't know what he wanted. If I said yes, he might think I was clingy and forcing him into something. So the only true answer was, “Uhm, no. We're friends.”

I couldn't bring myself to look at Edward to see his reaction, too afraid of what I might find. I felt like I was betraying him although what I'd said was the only truth there was at this point.

When I didn't hear him say anything for a while, I mustered the courage to lift my gaze from my glass and peek at him. If he'd shown any reaction, it was gone already. His expression was blank, and his eyes were fixed on the menu.

Finally , Jasper began to get a conversation going again, trying to dispel the awkwardness. All the time, Jacob eyed Edward with caution while Edward did his best to ignore Jake altogether.

When about half an hour later Jake left the table to take a call on his cell, Edward turned toward me with a fierce expression on his face. “Is now later?” he prompted in a clipped tone.

“Edward, I met Jake yesterday. We talked. He explained what happened back then, and I decided to forgive him. To hold on to my anger only hurts _me_. After all, I've known him all my life. Maybe I have a chance to get my friend back, at least kind of.” I said the last words in a small voice, hoping with all my heart that Edward could understand. But his expression was hard and unreadable.

“I don't want you to get hurt again,” he said softly after a moment, although the tension in him was unmistakable.

My voice sounded sincere when I answered, “I won't. He's just a friend.” I felt a stab in my gut when I realized that I'd just granted Jacob the same status that I'd granted Edward earlier. It felt very wrong when Edward was so much more to me.

I didn't get the chance to correct my mistake because, just then, Jacob returned to the table.

“Bells, that was my dad,” he started when he sat down again. “I'm going to La Push tomorrow. Do you want to come with me to see Charlie?”

I was startled by his unexpected invitation. “I don't know,” I began, unsure how to respond to it. I'd been hoping to spend Sunday in bed with Edward. I looked at him questioningly as he was eating the food the waitress had served him a minute ago. When he noticed that I wasn't continuing, he turned his head to look at me. His expression gave nothing away. What could I do? I could hardly just invite myself to his apartment. “Are there any plans for tomorrow?” I finally asked shyly.

“I'll have to work,” Edward said, obviously getting my insecurity. “If you want to, go see your dad.” He sounded kind of cold and detached.

My heart sank, and I got the impression that something was wrong. But now was neither the time nor the place to ask about it.

I tried to sound cheerful but was sure I was doing an awful job, because the disappointment at Edward dismissing me weighed too heavily on me. “Okay then. I'll drive. When did you want to leave?”

“I wanted to be there for lunch. Charlie will be at my dad's, too. It will be just like old times.” Jacob smiled, and Edward growled quietly but didn't say another word.

Shortly after he was done eating, Edward announced that he was tired and needed to head home. Naturally, I stood up to leave with him — as was normal for us — but he stopped me.

“Bella, why don't you stay? You're having fun, and I'm really tired.” His voice was firm, and I didn't dare to object. I looked at him pleadingly, but he didn't seem to falter.

“Then let me at least walk you to your car,” I insisted, needing a few moments alone with him. Fortunately, he didn't stop me this time.

After saying goodbye to Alice and Jasper and stiffly nodding at Jake, Edward left the bar, followed by me. His Volvo was parked directly in front of the exit.

“Edward, is everything okay? Did I do anything to upset you?” I asked, my heart racing with fear because of his coldness.

“No, no you didn't. I'm just tired.” His voice was softer now, but it still sounded distant and strange.

He bent down and kissed my lips, fiercely and with a feeling of desperation. My arms flew around his neck, locking him to me when it felt like he was slipping through my fingers. After a moment, he pulled away, unlocking my arms from around him.

He placed a long kiss on my forehead that burned my skin with the emotion in it.

“Good night, Bella,” he whispered when he turned around, and without looking at me again, he entered the car and drove off, leaving me with a lingering feeling of unease.

 

********POMH********

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it begins. Don't say I didn't warn you. Okay, I already know that most of you will tell me that Bella and Edward need to talk. I can assure you that you're preaching to the choir, but I can't make any promises about it.  
> How did you like Edward's reaction to Jacob? I know some of you wanted him to punch Jake's face. I don't want to tell you too much otherwise I'll run of things to use in my replies to your reviews ;).  
> Would you like a teaser for next week? Well, here it goes:
> 
> … “Why did Charlie ask about Edward earlier? Have they met?” … 
> 
> Who's asking and what will the answer be? You can tell me what you think here or on my FB group Payton79's Fanfiction. There will be some longer teasers, too.   
> Have a good week. I'll see you on Tuesday.


	29. Chapter 25 - Old Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there. I'm really curious to see how many of you will be back this week since most of you who reviewed were very upset with Bella. But one guest was upset with Edward instead. I'm surprised to see how many strong emotions my writing seems to stir. Anyway, thanks to all of you who reviewed. I hope everyone who used their account to review got a reply. Unfortunately, I can't answer guest reviews although I really felt the need to last chapter.  
> As always, I want to thank my betas EdwardsMate4ever and evelyn-shaye for their help and advice. Without them, I doubt you'd want to read this story. I also want to thank my friend and prereader Vampgirl79 who surprised me with a new cover last week. I hope you like it as much as I do.  
> So, now I let you read about the trip to La Push. See you at the bottome.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything …

Chapter 25 – Old Friends

 

During the drive to La Push on Sunday morning, Jake talked about how long he hadn't been there, how much he'd missed his dad, and how his sisters were doing. Both were married with children. Rachel was married to Paul, an old friend of Jake's. They were living in La Push near their families. Rebecca was currently living in Hawaii with her family.

I listened, answered, and even laughed, but my thoughts were definitely elsewhere. After Edward had left last night, I'd stayed for another thirty minutes before I'd gone home, too.

I hadn't slept well. The pent-up sexual energy and the fact that I'd missed Edward's warm body next to me had made it impossible to relax. Add to that the feeling that something was wrong, and my peace of mind was gone.

“Bells, what's up?” Jake asked when I hadn't said anything in a while.

“Nothing. I just didn't sleep well.” Jacob was the last person I would confide in about my feelings for Edward.

“Would you rather spend the day with him?” he asked. Without him saying the name, I knew who he was talking about while his eyes locked on my face.

“Edward's one of my best friends, and we're very close. We spend a lot of time together. That's why I asked him if we had any plans.” I kept my eyes on the road, afraid Jacob would see that I was lying.

“That was not what I asked. It was unmistakable that you two are close. You'd rather be with him right now than driving to Forks, I think.”

“No, and he has to work anyway,” I said, determined to close the conversation.

We didn't speak much and the remaining hour of the drive was awkward and uncomfortable.

 

****POMH****

 

“Bella, I haven't seen you in ages. How are you doing? You're looking great,” Billy said, hugging me hello after greeting his son.

“Hi, Billy. I'm fine. But you, you're looking just the same, although it's been years,” I answered, taking a look at him. His black hair only had a few streaks of gray in it, and his face was almost free of wrinkles. Until now, I hadn't been aware that I'd missed him. As my dad's best friend and Jacob's father, he'd been an important part of my childhood and youth. But after the incident with his son, it was hard for me to be around Billy.

“You know, I'm hangin' in there. And the grandkids are keeping me on my toes. They're great.” He shared with contentment.

“Dad, did you talk to Charlie? Are they coming?” Jacob asked a little nervously as we sat down on the sofa in the living room.

“Yes, boy, they're coming over in a few. And your sister is coming as well. She and Sue are bringing the food, and I already set the table. We haven't been together like this in over ten years.” Billy was beaming with happiness. 

But he was wrong. It had been eight years. During my childhood, we'd had many of these get-togethers, and the last one was the week Jacob had been home in 2004. After that, everything had changed.

Billy made Jacob tell about his job, his apartment and whatever there was to know about his life in the Big Apple. Jake answered them all without complaint, although he seemed to feel uneasy about some of his answers.

So, we were kind of relieved when there was a knock on the door, and Charlie and Sue came into the small house.

“Hey, Bells. Good to see you. Twice in three weeks, that's a real treat.” My dad hugged me tightly before he pulled away a little. Then he turned his head as if he was looking for something. “How's Edward? Why didn't you bring him?” he asked after taking a step back.

“Hi, Dad. He's okay. He had to work.” He gave me a strange look before he turned to glare at Jacob. He stared at him with a steely expression before extending his hand.

“Jake, how are you? Long time no see.” His voice was cold as well. So it seemed that, no matter how much I'd hoped that I'd kept Charlie in the dark for all these years, he knew very well that Jacob had hurt me, and for that, still held a grudge against him.

Jacob on the other hand seemed to squirm under my dad's gaze. “Hello, Charlie. I'm fine,” he answered insecurely.

They stared at each other for a minute before they took a step away from each other, and Charlie focused on Billy instead, who seemed very concerned about the strained interaction.

After Sue had put the casserole and the plastic boxes filled with food on the kitchen counter, she came to greet us as well.

Fortunately, before the situation could turn any more awkward, Jacob's sister came in, followed by her husband and their four children and, all of a sudden, there was a lot of positive energy in the small house.

 

****POMH****

 

After lunch, I needed some fresh air and left through the back door, strolling around the place that had been a second home to me when I was a child. Not much had changed here on the reservation, and even less had changed around Billy Black's house.

I walked the small path over to Jacob's garage, where he'd spent most of his time tinkering around with his ancient car. I halted a few steps away from the door, remembering the music that used to sound from within.

Out of nowhere, I felt someone behind me. “You want to go inside? I don't think much has changed in there. Nothing ever seems to change around here,” Jacob said. He walked around me, opened the door and switched on the light.

He gestured for me to enter, and I passed him, looking at the floor to not accidentally trip on some screw or nut that was still lying around there as I used to back in the day.

Reaching the middle of the building, I stopped, and I had to smile at what I saw there in front of me.

“You still have the Rabbit?”

“Yeah. I think, no one has driven it in years.” He walked over to the old, red car and lovingly ran a hand over the dusty hood.

“Is it still running?” I asked, overwhelmed by memories.

“No, I don't think so. But I don't have the heart to scrap it. After all, I lost my virginity in this car.” He chuckled lightly as he walked around and opened the passenger door for me.

“Oh, yes. I remember. You couldn't stop talking about Leah that summer. It was really annoying.” I rolled my eyes at him theatrically and took a seat.

“How can you know about all that? You were, what, ten at the time?” He closed the door and strolled over, sitting down in the driver's seat.

“I was eleven, and you were totally crazy about that bitch. You couldn't go five minutes without saying her name after she finally put out. I was actually glad when she broke up with you. At least, after that, your presence was kind of bearable again.” I smirked at him.

“You're so mean. I really thought I loved her, at the time.” His pout was fake, and we both started to laugh.

“Do you remember when you taught me how to drive? I was fourteen. You took me to that dirt road and just let me try. Charlie would kill you if he knew.” I giggled lightly, reminiscing about our escapades.

“Yeah. I think I let you do a lot of stuff he wouldn't approve of. I'm still glad he doesn't know it was me who took you to see that horror movie when you were ten. It gave you nightmares for over a month.” His hands were on the wheel, stroking the leather as if it was a baby. “We made lots of memories together. I'm so sorry we drifted apart. You were my little sister, and I've missed you all these years.” He was looking out of the windshield, avoiding my eyes.

“Well, if nothing had happened back then, I guess we still might have lost touch. You're living on the other side of the country, after all.”

“Maybe you're right.” He used his hands to wipe the dust off the dashboard, deep in thought. “Why did Charlie ask about Edward earlier? Have they met?” He sounded nonchalant, but his stiff shoulders gave him away.

I looked at Jake, and our eyes finally met. “He was here for Thanksgiving. Charlie and Sue liked him. Charlie even took him to a bar.”

This time, his words were more intense. “But you said he wasn't your boyfriend. Then why did you take him home with you for the holiday?”

“He isn't my boyfriend.” It really hurt to say it out loud again, but as long as I hadn't had the chance to have a talk with him, I couldn't call him that. Being friends was the only thing we ever agreed on. “I invited him for Thanksgiving because he couldn't fly out to Chicago, and I didn't want him to sit alone in his apartment, eating take-out.”

I remembered our conversation the night before Thanksgiving. It was the first time I'd ever really opened up to anyone. I had told him things I'd never told anyone before — things I didn't admit to myself most of the time. And he'd been more than understanding, loving even. After that night, I had finally allowed myself to let him into my heart. And there he remained. The memory of last night, of Edward leaving without me, weighed heavily on me.

“We should go back inside. We only have a few more hours, you know. And you'll be leaving Washington again soon. You should spend some time with your family.” I stepped out of the Rabbit, and looked once more at the car that held so many memories before I left the garage and walked back to the house.

 

****POMH****

 

The rest of the afternoon was kind of nice and went by in a rush. I talked to Jacob's sister Rachel for a long time. She was two years older than him, which made her six years older than me. So, naturally, due to that rather large age difference, we hadn't spent much time together while we were growing up. But we seemed to be getting along very well now.

After an early dinner, we said our goodbyes and headed back to Seattle.

“I had a wonderful time today,” Jacob stated when we had been on the highway for a good while.

“Yes, it was nice. Do you miss your dad?” I asked sadly. I'd noticed that he had a hard time saying goodbye to Billy.

“Yeah, I do. He's come to visit me in New York a few times, but I haven't dared to come home for eight years. I've been afraid to run into you, and I wasn't prepared for that.” 

“But now that we're okay, you can come back whenever you want,” I said with a small smile.

“Yes, I think I can.” He smiled back at me.

 

****POMH****

 

After dropping Jake off at his hotel, I drove home. It was almost ten p.m. when I plopped down on my sofa, feeling lonely.

All day, I'd been thinking about Edward and his strange behavior the night before. I felt the need to talk to him, to hear his voice, but I didn't want to seem clingy, all the more because we weren't even officially a couple.

I picked up my phone and put it down again at least ten times before I decided to write him an innocuous message.

_**Just got home** _ _**. Charlie and Sue said hello. Have a good night. - B** _

I stared at the screen for a long moment, waiting for an answer. After a few minutes of silence, I got up and walked into the bathroom. When I was brushing my teeth, I was startled by the sound of  _Sexmachine_ coming from my phone.

I pushed the accept button, spitting into the sink.

“Hi,” I greeted Edward, insecure but incredibly relieved.

“Hey, beautiful. How was your trip? Did you have a good time?” He sounded sleepy but, apart from that, exactly like he always did.

“The drive was long, but you know that.” I paused for a moment, thinking about what to say next. I didn't want to say anything wrong and make him draw any wrong conclusions. “But it was nice. There was this get-together at Jake's dad's house. His sister was there with her family, and of course, Charlie and Sue. We had get-togethers like that a lot when I was a child, but I haven't been there in, well, you know how long.”

“I forgot to ask you to tell your parents I said hello.”

I didn't answer him right away. I wasn't sure what to say, but I needed to know what happened the night before. “Did I do anything wrong? You acted weird last night. I'm sorry if I offended you somehow.”

He interrupted me quickly before I could ramble on. “No, you did nothing wrong. It was just that, you know, I had a long day, and I just wanted to have a good time with you, Jazz and Alice. The last person I'd expected to meet there was Jacob. I was surprised and not sure what to make of that.” He sounded drained.

“It's like I said yesterday, I ran into him, and we talked. I was almost as surprised as you were when Alice and Jasper showed up dragging him along. I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you about him being in town but didn't want to do it over the phone.”

“It's okay. It's your decision. I just don't want you to get hurt again.”

I exhaled slowly, relieved that we were good. “I won't. He's only a friend. So, what are you doing tomorrow night?” I needed to see him, to feel him. I was missing him like crazy.

“I have to go to dinner with a client, and I'm afraid it will get late. I'm sorry. I really want to see you.” I could hear the sadness and frustration in his voice.

“So, another time then.” I was so disappointed that I had to swallow my tears down.

“I'll call you tomorrow night if I don't get home too late, okay?”

“Of course.” I climbed into my bed, pulling the covers up to my chin.

“Have a good night, beautiful. I'll call you.” I could hear longing in his tone, and I was sure my voice sounded just the same.

“Yes. Good night, Edward.” I hit the “end” button, set the phone on the nightstand and turned off the light. 

As soon as my head hit the pillow, I started to dream of Edward kissing me, holding me, making love to me. If only it had been reality.

 

********POMH********

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Edward says they're okay. Phew! Are they really, though?  
> What did you think? I hope you got a little idea of what the bond between Bella and Jacob is apart from a sad love story. They share lots of memories. So maybe you'll understand a little better why Bella would want to give that friendship another chance.  
> For all of you who want a peek at next weeks chapter, here we go:
> 
> … I was close to exploding from just dry-humping like that, Edward only moments away from coming in his dress pants, when an alarm went off. … 
> 
> Yes, it'll get a little hot again next week, but remember, we're not out of the woods by far.  
> Please, share your thoughts with me, here or on Facebook in the group Payton79's Fanfiction.  
> See you next week.


	30. Chapter 26 -  Limbo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi ladies! I don't want to keep you in suspense for too long today, so I'll give you the new chapter without much further ado.  
> I just want to quickly but thoroughly thank my betas evelyn-shaye and EdwardsMate4 who are really the best betas I could imagine. I also want to thank my prereader Vampgirl79 for her help and support.  
> So, here's the new chapter. See you at the bottom.
> 
> Disclaimer: Nothing's mine, it's all SM's.

Chapter 26 – Limbo

 

On Monday, I met Alice for lunch. As usual, we ate at a restaurant a few blocks away from the store. Her lunch break was only one hour, and we didn't want to waste any time by her having to drive across town.

“So, how was the rest of your weekend? Have you talked to Edward?” Alice asked as soon as we sat down.

I decided not to answer her question about Edward because I didn't actually know what to tell her. He'd assured me that everything was alright, but I still wasn't sure that it really was. “La Push was nice. You know, I haven't seen Billy and Jake's sister in years. It was almost like old times. I think Jake and I got some part of our old friendship back. We reminisced a little about Leah, driving lessons, stuff like that.” I smiled because I had really enjoyed the trip, although I was still sad that I hadn't gotten the chance to spend the weekend with Edward.

We were interrupted by the waitress coming to take our orders.

“ _Have_ you talked to Edward since Saturday? He was acting kind of strange,” Alice wanted to know as soon as the waitress left our table.

I took a sip of water to consider my answer before I spoke. “I texted him last night to tell him that Charlie asked about him.”

“Charlie asked about him? What did he say?” She was leaning closer to me, eager to hear the story.

“He wanted to know where Edward was and why I didn't bring him. I told him Edward had to work.” I frowned, still not really buying it.

“Is that true? It sounded a bit like an excuse when he said it.” So she had gotten the same impression I had Saturday night.

“I'm not sure. He called me after he got the text. We talked for a while. He said he was tired from his trip and shocked to see Jacob. He assured me that I hadn't done anything wrong. He just warned me about Jake and assured me that he wanted to see me. Unfortunately, he has to take a client to dinner tonight.” I suppressed the tears which I knew would well up if I gave into the feelings of insecurity and loneliness that were constantly gnawing at me.

A waiter came and brought our drinks, keeping Alice from answering immediately. I was glad to get a minute to calm down.

“That's good to know. I know you were a little anxious after he left. But he wants to see you, that's good. Oh, that reminds me, Jasper got tickets for a hockey game tomorrow night for the four of us and one for Jacob, too. You know, he wants to spend some more time with him, since they were good friends back in New York. And Jake will be coming to our pre-Christmas party on Friday, as well.” Alice and Jasper had a party one or two weekends before Christmas each year. Alice loved to indulge her passion for decorating, and their house always looked like Santa Claus exploded in there. “Jazz figured now that you're okay with each other again, there's no reason not to invite him.” She didn't seem to fully agree with Jasper, especially after I told her about Edward's feelings toward Jacob, but she didn't vocalize her concerns.

“Edward and I didn't talk about tomorrow, but I think Jasper will fill him in, and we'll talk about it tonight.” It was so strange to be in this relationship limbo. Everyone was seeing us as a couple, and most of the time, we acted accordingly, but we still hadn't had _the talk_.

“When will you tell him, Bella? You need to make things clear between the two of you.” Alice's expression showed concern. She was sure Edward loved me too, and I just needed to tell him to make things right. Unfortunately, I wasn't that convinced.

“As soon as I get him alone. I don't know when that will be, but I don't want to wait any longer. I'm feeling more nervous with each passing day.”

The waitress served our food and after saying, “Go, get him, girl,” Alice changed the subject, telling me about her plans for the party and the Christmas presents she intended to buy for Jasper's family. I listened to her, answered “yes” and “no”, and laughed in the right places, but the whole time, my mind was only revolving around Edward. I hoped so much that soon everything would be in the open and okay between us.

 

****POMH****

 

_**Sorry, baby. I just got home. Talk to you tomorrow. Good night. - E** _

I was already in bed, although far from sleeping, when close to midnight, I received Edward's text. I was angry and incredibly disappointed that I wouldn't hear his voice. I was craving his body as well as his company in general.

_**No worries** _ _**. See you tomorrow at the game? Good night. - B** _

I texted him back, trying to make light of the situation. After ten minutes, I still hadn't gotten an answer and guessed that I wouldn't be getting one that night. Sighing, I rolled to my side and wished for sleep to come.

 

****POMH****

 

Tuesday morning, I woke up still tired and in a foul mood. I dragged myself out of bed and drove to work. I needed to prepare a shoot for an ad that was scheduled for later that day. I tried not to think of Edward and the fact that he hadn't answered my message from the night before. I was rarely in a bad mood, but that day, my assistant avoided me as much as possible.

It was almost noon when my phone vibrated in my pocket.

“Hi,” I greeted Edward with a relieved smile on my face.

“Hey, beautiful. I'm sorry I didn't send you another text last night, but I was so tired that I switched my phone off. I only saw your message this morning.” His smooth voice made me relax and immediately lightened my spirit.

“You don't need to be sorry. Did you at least sleep well?”

“Not really.” He paused, and I felt anxious again. “I miss you.” His confession calmed me down and made me smile again.

“I miss you, too. Good thing that we'll see each other tonight.” I tried my best to sound seductive.

“About that, I'm not going to the game.” My face fell at once and my heart began to race in my chest.

“You're not going?” I was struggling to hold back the tears. I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong after all.

“Look, Jasper told me that Jacob was coming, too, and I don't like him. I know that you forgave him, and that's okay, but I can't stand to be around him. I'm sorry.” We were both quiet as his words were sinking in. He wasn't okay with Jacob and our friendship. “I want you all to myself when I see you the next time, anyway. And I'm not so much into hockey, you know?” I didn't really know what to think other than I needed to see him.

I hoped I didn't sound as desperate as I was feeling when I replied, “Then I won't go either. You and I can do something together tonight.”

“No, as much as I want to see you, I don't want to keep you away from your friends. You only have this week to spend time with him, and you should, if you want to. Just because I don't like him doesn't mean you can't see him.” He was calm and sounded determined.

I felt defeated. “If you say so.” Edward wanted me to go without them. But I still needed to see him. “But tomorrow night, I have a business dinner, and I don't know when I'll be home. Will you be free Thursday?” At that point, I was grasping at straws.

“I'm afraid I'll have to work late on Thursday. We have a deadline for a campaign. But, hey, there's still the party on Friday. We'll see each other there. And, this time, I won't go home without you, I promise.”

“Okay, I guess it's Friday, then.” I was feeling physical pain, knowing that I wouldn't be with Edward for another three long days.

“I'm really looking forward to that.” His voice was soft, like a caress.

“Me, too,” I whispered, tears stinging my eyes.

“I'm sorry, but I have to go now. I have people waiting for me. I'll text you later.”

“Yeah. Bye then.” _I love you._

The three words were burning my tongue, fighting to get out. I really needed to say them, and I really needed Edward to hear them.

Friday.

 

****POMH****

 

Just like Edward, I wasn't really into hockey, either, or any sport for that matter. But going with the right people, it could still be fun. Too bad the right person was missing that night.

We had very good seats. Jasper had worked with everyone who was anyone in Seattle over the last four years, and he always had some strings to pull to get what he wanted. Alice and Jasper were sitting next to each other, with Jake on Jazz's other side and me next to Alice. The guys were talking tactics all the time, while Alice and I were talking about everything else, like people in the audience. The whole time, I worked hard to ignore the empty seat to my left where Edward should have been. It was a nice night, but I'd had better ones, especially over the last six weeks.

When the game was over, I offered to drive Jacob to his hotel, considering that I was going in that direction anyway whereas Alice and Jasper would have to take a detour to take him there.

“Bella, what are you doing tomorrow night?” he asked when we left the parking lot.

“I have a business dinner. A modeling agency I occasionally work for is planning on expanding our collaboration, and Mrs. Humphrey, the CEO, wants to negotiate the conditions. I don't like to do these things, but sometimes I have to.” Once again, I regretted that I couldn't see Edward because of that stupid business meeting.

“What about Thursday?” What was he up to?

I was confused. “I haven't planned anything for Thursday, yet. Why are you asking?”

“I wanted to invite you to dinner,” he said a little nervously.

My brows furrowed as I contemplated his suggestion. “I don't know if that's such a good idea.” I couldn't go on a date with him. It was a different thing when the others were around, but I didn't want to go out alone with him.

“Why not? Don't get me wrong, I didn't mean it like a date or something. I just want to have dinner with you. See, I owe you a dinner invitation. I know we're not talking about what happened back then anymore, but I'm aware it was a very shitty thing to sleep with you without even buying you dinner before. Maybe you could see it as some kind of compensation for the date we should have had eight years ago.” His eyes were fixed on my face as I pulled into an empty spot at the side of the street, across from his hotel.

“I don't know, Jake. I have to think about it. Is it okay if I give you my answer tomorrow?” It felt like going to dinner with Jacob alone would be cheating on Edward. I needed to talk to him about it before I could give Jake an answer. I wasn't afraid of him, but it just didn't feel right.

“That's okay. Just call me, or better, text me. I'll be in meetings from morning till afternoon tomorrow.” He smiled and left the car.

I didn't wait for him to enter the hotel before I drove away.

 

****POMH****

 

Wednesday morning, I had an appointment at the agency with Ben. He was in charge of the ad we had shot the day before, and I needed to go over some things with him concerning the digital finishing. It was just easier to talk about those things in person than to do it via email or over the phone.

It didn't take long until we agreed on the things I'd do with the photos. When I left Ben's office, I still had a little time before I needed to meet with a model at the studio, so I decided to go and see Edward.

“Come in,” he said when I knocked on the door to his office.

Slowly, I opened the door and stuck my head in inquisitively. “I hope I'm not interrupting anything?”

He looked up from the papers on his desk, and his eyes went wide while his lips curved into a brilliant smile. “Hey, beautiful. What a wonderful surprise. Come in.”

I stepped inside and closed the door. As soon as I turned around, Edward's lips were on mine, his body pinning me to the door. In seconds, his mouth was devouring mine like a starving man's first meal. His hands were first on my waist, pulling me as close as possible before they moved under my shirt, stroking the naked skin above the waistband of my jeans. My hands gripped the hair at the nape of his neck, holding on tightly.

Without hesitation, his hands grabbed my thighs and he lifted me up, pressing me even harder against the door as he started grinding his hard-on against my aching center. I moaned at the delicious friction.

We stayed like that for what felt like a long time. I was close to exploding from just dry-humping like that, Edward only moments away from coming in his dress pants, when an alarm went off.

Pulled out of our frenzy, Edward reluctantly pulled away and set my feet back down on the floor. Both of us were panting for air, and my hand moved up to touch my swollen lips.

“What was that?” I asked when I felt oxygen reach my lungs again.

“I really missed you,” he said, planting a light, gentle kiss on my lips.

“I see. But that's not what I meant. What was that alarm for?” I took a few steps into the room as Edward walked to his desk, looking at his phone.

“I have a meeting in five minutes. Grrrrr.” He pulled his hair in frustration. “You have no idea how badly I need you, but I don't have time right now.”

I touched his cheek with my palm, making him look at me. “Friday,” I promised.

“Friday,” he repeated with conviction.

As he turned around to gather his things, I remembered that there was something I needed to talk about, but I didn't know how to start.

“How was the game last night?” he asked, saving some files on his computer. 

That was my opening. “You know, I'm not really into sports. But it was nice. Actually, Jacob invited me to dinner tomorrow night. I don't know if that's such a good idea, though. I mean, it's not a date or anything. I would never go on a date with him. He just said, he owed me a dinner invitation, you know, for the date we never had.” I knew I was rambling, but I didn't know what I wanted to hear. Did I want him to tell me I should go? No, I actually wanted him to ask me not to see Jacob again. I needed some proof that Edward loved me. So I was holding my breath, waiting for him to say something.

His lips formed a tight line for a moment. Then he spoke in a cold, guarded tone. “You should go, if you want to. I need to get to my meeting.” He bent down and quickly kissed my forehead before he was out the door, leaving me standing alone in his office, more confused than ever.

 

********POMH********

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, this wasn't what most of you were hoping for. First they were cockblocked, and then they didn't get the chance to talk. This talk is a burning issue to me too, but we have to wait and see. 
> 
> So next week I promise, many things will happen when “The Shit Hits the Fan”.
> 
> … “I'm sorry, Jake. I can't,” I said in a small voice. … 
> 
> What is it that she can't? Looking forward to your ideas. Tell me here or on FB in the Payton79's Fanfiction group.
> 
> One more thing, now that the story has become quite angsty for my taste, I'll try to update a little more frequently than once a week, maybe ever five days or so. Anyway, I probably won't keep up the Tuesday updates for longer. To still know when the next chapter will be up, you should put POMH on alert if you haven't already done so.  
> See you when “The Shit Hits the Fan”.


	31. Chapter 27 - The Shit Hits the Fan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to my first Sunday-update. As I promised, I won't make you wait a week in between chapters anymore. At least not until the angst is over and done with. I'll probably update every five days for the next few weeks.  
> I need to send a very big thank-you to my betas EdwardsMate4ever and evelyn-shaye for making my writing so much better. You ladies are wonderful. Thanks a lot as well to my friend and prereader Vampgirl79. You rock, hun. If you still find mistakes, please don't hold any of them responsible because I added some stuff right before posting.  
> No, I'll let you witness how The Shit Hits the Fan. See you at the end.
> 
> Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Thanks for sharing your characters with us.

Chapter 27 – The Shit Hits the Fan

 

I didn't want to go to dinner with Jake. It felt wrong. I shouldn't be going out with any man other than Edward. But he'd basically told me to go. Since I wasn't able to come up with a good reason not to, I accepted Jake's invitation. He insisted on picking me up and driving to the restaurant together in his rental car instead of having me meet him there. I thought it was stupid and unnecessary, but since Edward had turned all cold on me the day before, a great deal of my usual strength had left me. So I agreed to Jacob's request without putting up a fight.

At seven p.m. on Thursday night, there was a knock on my door. I looked into the mirror one last time, still not sure if I had chosen the right outfit. I was wearing black skinny jeans with medium-heeled boots and a pink blouse with the first few buttons undone, careful not to show too much cleavage. My hair was falling free down my back, and I had only put on a light day makeup.

I sighed once, wishing the evening was already over, while I walked to the door, grabbing my coat and purse on the way. Opening the door, I saw Jake standing in the hall, a single red rose in his hand.

He looked me up and down before he held the rose out to me, greeting me, “Hi, Bells. You look beautiful.”

I flinched slightly when I heard him use the word that was Edward's pet name for me. Trying not to show my discomfort, I forced a smile, replying, “Hey, Jake. You don't look so bad yourself.” He was wearing black slacks with a blue button-down shirt and a gray leather jacket. He really was handsome, but he didn't do anything for me.

True to everything I'd told Edward a while ago, I didn't want to let Jake into my apartment. So I took the rose from him, lifting the blossom to my nose to smell it quickly. “Thank you, Jake. This really wasn't necessary,” I mumbled as I placed the rose on the table next to the door before locking up the apartment.

“This is what I should have done eight years ago, and I want to do it right tonight.” His expression showed determination as we walked to the elevator side by side. His words as well as his actions made me apprehensive about the rest of the evening.

He took me to a fancy, obviously expensive restaurant. I didn't feel too comfortable there, and not just because I wasn't dressed appropriately. Feeling out of place and in the wrong company,  I  was glad when the ordering part was over and the waiter served the wine Jake had chosen.

“To do-overs,” he said as he clinked his glass to mine. I wasn't so sure if that was what I wanted to drink to, but I didn't object.

“So, have you been here before? On a date, maybe?” he asked after savoring the first sip of his wine.

“No, I haven't. I mostly go out with Alice, and this isn't really our style.” I put my glass down after tasting the dark-red liquid. I knew it was as expensive as everything else on the menu, but I'd had better.

“I was told this was the best restaurant in town. I'm surprised that no one has ever taken you here.” I was reminded of the one time Edward had taken me to _La Taverna Vecchia_. The little Italian restaurant was so different from this pretentious place and yet so much more perfect. Although Edward had insisted that he wasn't taking me on a date, it was the most wonderful date I'd ever been on. Okay, I didn't have much to go on, but it was wonderful nontheless.

“I haven't been on many dates,” I admitted, trying to sound nonchalant.

Jake looked at me, confused. “What do you mean?”

“I don't usually go on dates.” I busied myself inspecting the bottle of wine. 

His brows furrowed in bewilderment. “Why? You're beautiful and intelligent. Men must be beating a path to your door.”

“If that's the case, I haven't noticed. But it's okay. Let's talk about something else, please.” I didn't want to go into detail. I didn't want to tell him that he was the reason I'd turned down every man that tried to come close. And I didn't want to tell him that, with Edward, for once everything was different.

He shook his head a few times before he changed the subject.

 

****POMH****

 

The wine loosened me up a bit, and after Jacob dropped the matter of my dating history, the rest of our dinner was actually quite nice. During the whole three courses, we talked and laughed, sharing memories of our childhood, funny stories about our parents, and other anecdotes. Time flew by, and before I realized it, we had finished our dessert, and Jake was driving me home.

I wanted to say goodbye to him downstairs in the car, but he insisted on walking me to my door. After all, he said, this was the date we should have had before everything went wrong with us. The effect of the wine had worn off, and the use of the word  _date_ made my feeling of unease return. But I'd agreed to this do-over. So I sighed internally and let him do what he thought was expected of him.

When we had reached the door to my apartment, I stopped and turned around, looking up into his dark-brown eyes.

“Thank you, Jake. This was nice,” I said, showing him a little smile.

“You're welcome. As I said about a hundred times tonight, this was what it should have been like back then. This is what it would have been like if I hadn't been too stupid to see the obvious.” 

My eyes were still locked with his, and a strange expression crossed his face. I didn't know what to make of it, although in hindsight, I should have. When he started to bend down, slowly closing his eyes, my mind went blank. His lips touched mine, and my eyes closed reflexively as he slowly and tenderly moved his mouth over mine. I was thunderstruck, unable to move. Jake's arms went around my waist, and he pulled me to him. I didn't participate, but I didn't actually stop him, either. There was no spark, no arousal. It felt just like I imagined it would feel to kiss my brother, if I had one. All of a sudden, Edward's face came to my mind. The image made me gasp, and regaining control over my brain and body, I pushed Jacob away from me.

He opened his eyes, confusion the most prominent emotion on his face.

“I'm sorry, Jake. I can't,” I said in a quiet but urgent voice.

“Bella, this time I know what I'm doing. It's nothing like before. This time, I know that I love you and that I want to be with you. I've loved you for longer than I can even remember. I would do whatever it takes to take back what I've done to you in the past, but I know that I can't. I know I hurt you more than I can even imagine, but I want to do right by you now. I want to make your every wish come true if you only give me a chance.” He was looking at me pleadingly, and I knew that he meant every word he'd just said. But it didn't matter. It didn't mean anything to me. I didn't love him anymore.

“Jake, it's too late,” I whispered.

“No, we can still make things work. I love you so much.” He was begging then, and it pained me to know I was going to hurt him, but there was no way back.

“Jacob, it's too late. There's someone else.” A small smile made its way to my lips as I realized that, for the first time, I'd told someone other than Alice, and that made it so much more real.

“It's him, isn't it? I knew it Saturday night, but you kept denying it. So I hoped it wasn't true.”

“It's not official.” I felt the need to explain why I might have given him the wrong impression.

Defeated, he looked to the ground, taking a few deep breaths. “He loves you, that's for sure.” As he looked up at me again, he had a bittersweet smile on his lips. “At least we're friends again. Bella, I wish you all the best. I want nothing more than for you to be happy.” He kissed my forehead and let his lips linger a moment longer than was appropriate before he finally pulled away. “I should go. Good night, Bella. See you tomorrow?” His eyes were slightly hopeful.

“See you tomorrow. Good night, Jacob.” 

He turned around, and with hunched shoulders, he walked to the elevator.

 

****POMH****

 

“Bella, what's wrong? You normally don't call this late.” Alice sounded worried when I phoned her as soon I'd closed the door behind me.

“Hi, Alice. Nothing's wrong, really. I just need to talk to you. I was out with Jake tonight.” I knew she was about to scold me, and I was waiting for it to happen. I knew I deserved it.

She seemed to be confused rather than angry. “You went out with Jake? Like on a date?”

“When he asked me, he insisted that it wasn't like that. He said that he owed me the dinner he never gave me back then. I didn't feel good about it and asked Edward. You know, we're not officially together, and I shouldn't have to ask his permission, but I felt the need to. He's been acting so strange since he came back from his trip. So I beat around the bush, saying that it wasn't a date but that I didn't know if I wanted to go anyway. He ended up telling me I should go if I wanted to. So I did. And it turned out to be a date, after all.” By then, I'd talked myself to the edge of a panic attack.

“What happened? How was it a date?” Alice sounded calm and composed rather than hysterical like I was.

“Well, he took me to the most expensive restaurant in town. He tried to talk about my past relationships, but I refused. Then we shared some memories, laughed a lot. He took me home, and before I realized what was happening, he kissed me at my door.” I was breathing heavily as I felt on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

“What did you do?” she asked more urgently, but still trying to calm me down.

“Nothing!” I shouted, panicked.

“What do you mean, nothing?”

“I mean that I was paralyzed at first, but as soon as I came to, I pushed him away. He told me he loves me and that he wants to be with me, and I said that there was someone else.” I was quiet, waiting for her answer.

Alice's voice was composed, knowing if she kept it together, I might relax a bit. “How did he react?”

“Hurt. And he asked me if it was Edward. When I said that it was, he wished me happiness and left, saying he was glad we're friends again, at least. Alice, I feel so bad. I feel like I cheated on Edward, although we're not even together. And he's been so distant this past week. What if he doesn't love me?” I was crying silent, desperate tears.

“You didn't do anything wrong. You stopped Jake. And Edward told you to go. I'm sure he's been acting strange because he's jealous of Jacob. You need to talk to him, tell him that you love him. He's probably as insecure about the two of you as you are.” Alice's confidence calmed me down a bit.

I sniffed noisily. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am.”

I felt way more at ease by then. “Okay. I will talk to him tomorrow night. I can't wait any longer. I need to tell him that I love him. Thank you, Alice, for listening.”

“You're welcome, hun. Any time. Now, go to bed. Tomorrow's a big day.”

“Okay. See you tomorrow, then. Good night.”

“Good night, Bella.”

As I closed my eyes a bit later, I knew what I had to do, and there was no way I would postpone our talk again.

 

****POMH****

 

The next evening, I arrived at the party early. I didn't want to waste any time. Just like every year, Alice had let her inner decoration demon come out to play, and the whole house was covered in greens and reds, with a big Christmas tree in the middle of the living room, mistletoe hanging from every door frame, and holly all over the place.

Just as I'd expected, Edward wasn't there yet when I arrived. After greeting Alice and Jasper, I had to get my mind off of Edward and what I was about to do. I sat down at the bar, ordering myself a few glasses of liquid courage.

When I'd downed a couple of drinks, and Edward still wasn't there, I decided to go look for Alice again. Maybe I could help her with something to distract myself. I couldn't find her, and instead, I ran into Jessica, who talked my ear off about her new boyfriend for a good fifteen minutes.

After I had finally left her to babble to someone else, I walked back into the living room that was now filled with people. I noticed that Jake was there but forgot about him as soon as I spotted Edward, sitting at the bar, a glass of whiskey in his hand.

I took a few steadying breaths before I walked over to him.

“Hi, handsome,” I greeted, smiling as I leaned against the bar, looking at him.

His eyes wandered from his tumbler to my face, and I felt like someone had knocked the wind out of me. He had at least two days' worth of stubble on his face. His eyes were blood-shot with dark circles underneath. His stare was cold and hard. He didn't look like the man I knew and loved.

“Don't call me that,” he hissed, looking at me with his eyes narrowed in what seemed like anger and disgust. “What happened? Did he walk out on you again after you let him fuck you?” What was he talking about? I felt like I'd been transported into some bad movie without having read the script. 

“And now you're thinking, 'Let's go back to Edward. He's stupid enough, he won't notice'?” His words were like knives, stabbing my heart. I felt wounded and bleeding.

“Or did you think that I wouldn't mind? After all, I've done my fair share of fucking around, too.” His chest was heaving with agitation, and his voice was full of venom. I stood open-mouthed and shocked, unable to look away from his burning eyes.

“I saw you two last night, and you said it yourself, it's what you do. You hook up. And I was stupid enough to think that we had finally moved beyond that. I actually believed that you might have changed. But no. You're still the same old Bella, fucking random guys to forget about your fears.” He was fuming. I wasn't able to form a clear thought. Just like a deer in the headlights, I was unable to move under his glare as I was struggling with the tears that were stinging my eyes, desperate to be shed.

“You broke our deal. No one else, remember? You agreed. But why care? You know, maybe you were right all along, and I was wrong. Maybe you really are cheap!”

I was breathing erratically. I had no idea what was happening. The only thing I knew was that he'd just hit me where it really hurt, and I had to get away from there.

I refused to cry in front of him and this room full of people. I had once vowed to myself that I would never again cry in front of a man. But I knew that I couldn't hold back the tears for much longer. There was nothing for me to say. Edward had basically called me a slut. The only thing left for me to do was leave with what dignity I had left. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing how much he'd hurt me.

I took a last look into his furious eyes before I slowly turned around and left without a word.

 

********POMH********

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *peeks up from hiding behind the couch* So, the shit finally hit the fan. Was it the way you expected it to happen?   
> Next chapter, Edward will get the chance to explain what made him go off on Bella like that. The whole chapter will be in his POV. Here's a little preview:
> 
> … “You're wrong,” a quiet voice said, audibly laced with anger as well as defeat. … 
> 
> Who is the person telling Edward he's wrong? I promise to tell you on Friday. Until then, tell me what you think here or join us on FB in the group Payton79's Fanfiction.  
> See you on Friday.


	32. Chapter 28 - Horribly Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your many reviews and messages convinced me to not let you wait until Friday for the next chapter. I want to thank you all for letting me know what you think. As always, I hope I answered every one of you.
> 
> Thanks a lot to my betas evelyn-shaye and EdwardsMate4ever. I love you. Thanks as well to my friends and prereaders LaPumuckl and Vamgirl79. You ladies rock.
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy the chapter, the only regular chapter written in EPOV. See you at the bottom.
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: It's not mine! But I love it.

 

Chapter 28 – Horribly wrong EPOV

 

I couldn't get the picture out of my head, the image of Bella in Jacob's arms, kissing him. After I'd returned from my doomed mission the night before, I hadn't slept at all.

Thursday night, I'd had to work late to meet a deadline. I'd missed Bella like crazy since I'd refused to meet her with Jacob around. When she came to my office Wednesday morning, basically asking my permission to go on a date with him, I felt so bitter that I let my temper get the best of me, and before I realized what I was doing, I told her to go. Soon after, I already regretted my stupid words. I beat myself up about it, until sometime Thursday night, the realization hit me that Bella didn't even know I was in love with her. I'd never told her. 

I hurried to finish my work and drove over to her apartment, determined to wait until she returned. I would finally lay my heart at her feet.

I wasn't at all prepared for what I was about to see. When I came around the corner from the elevator, I was hit by the image of Jacob holding my Bella in his arms, kissing her passionately — both had their eyes closed. And suddenly, I saw that she wasn't  _my_ Bella and never would be. She had fallen for him again. I'd been kidding myself all this time, thinking that she would come to see that I really loved her and that she loved me, too.

I couldn't stand the sight for long, turning around and practically running away from the scene. I didn't remember how I got home, and I didn't really remember what I'd been doing for the last day besides wallowing in my misery.

About twenty-four hours later, I was sitting at the bar in Jazz's living room, holding my fifth whiskey in ten minutes. The Christmas decorations all over the house seemed to mock me. Most wonderful time of the year, my ass. I couldn't remember a worse time, not even with what Tanya did.

I came because I'd promised my friend I would — and I knew I needed to talk to Bella. Fortunately, I hadn't seen her yet. So I might get the chance to down a few more drinks before the moment of truth would arise.

I ran my hand over the past day's stubble on my face, contemplating my loss. After Tanya, I'd been sure that I would never ever get in that position again — letting someone fuck around on me. And yet, I was in the exact same situation. Looking back, I knew that I'd never loved Tanya. I'd cared for her at one time, I'd liked her, but I'd never felt even an ounce of the love I felt for Bella. With Tanya's betrayal, it was mostly my ego being badly hurt, whereas now, I'd lost the woman that was most certainly the love of my life.  _But, hey, she doesn't love you back, so, get over it, Cullen. Move on!_

“Hi, handsome,” Bella said flirtatiously, suddenly appearing next to me with the most innocent smile on her lips.

What the fuck? Was she kidding me? From the corner of my eye, I noticed Jacob across the room, looking at us rather unhappily. She had come to me instead of greeting him first. Okay, so they didn't seem to be together. Then it must have been another one night stand. History must have repeated itself for the second time. But I refused to be her doormat — not for anyone, ever again.

All of a sudden, I had an out-of-body experience. I watched myself going off on her, firing shot after shot, insult after insult, while she just stood there, obviously unable to grasp the situation. Why wasn't she saying anything? She just stood there, taking whatever I threw at her with a horror-struck face, her beautiful brown eyes wide with shock. What was her problem? That I had caught her? She really had to think I was stupid.

I heard myself say the last words loud and clear, designed to hit her sorest spot. “Maybe you really are cheap!”

I winced slightly when the words were out, but I couldn't take them back, and I didn't want to, either. She'd made her bed, now she had to lie in it. She had broken our deal and had to live with the consequences. I wanted her to hurt as badly as I did.

She looked into my eyes once again, with a pained and broken expression on her face, before she turned around and, slowly but determinedly, with her head held high, left the room and the house.

I couldn't allow myself to care. She'd brought this upon herself.  _I_ was not the one who had fucked someone else without calling our deal off first, or even worse, came to her, smiling just like nothing happened.

I downed the rest of my drink in one gulp, motioning for the bartender to give me a refill, when I noticed someone approaching me from my left.

“You're wrong,” a quiet voice said, audibly laced with anger as well as defeat.

I took another big gulp from my newly filled glass, not looking at Jacob. “What are you talking about?” Who was he to come and talk to me like that? Hadn't he just dumped her for the third time after taking advantage of her feelings for him? I almost felt sorry for her — only I didn't.

“What you said to her, you were wrong.” My brows furrowed in confusion, but I wasn't going to say anything. “You said you saw us kissing.” He snorted once. “Well, you can't have been watching for long.” He was still sounding strangely calm.

“What? Should I have stayed to watch you two going at it? No, thanks. I didn't need to torture myself any further.” I emptied my glass yet again, determined to drown my sorrows.

“If you'd stayed, you'd have seen that she pushed me away about five seconds into the kiss. She didn't even kiss me back at all.” He sat down next to me, ordering two vodka shots.

I felt my face fall. My skin began to crawl, and my heart started to race when it dawned on me that I might have made a horrible mistake.

“I told her that I love her, and the only thing she said was that there's someone else.” He downed one hot. “She loves you, not me. I was too late. I blew my chance with her. You might still have one. As much as it hurts me, I just want to see her happy.”

Alice had come over and sat down on my other side. “She was about to tell you that she loves you, tonight.” She sounded strained, almost unable to hold back her anger.

Oh. My. God! What had I done? Suddenly, my lungs weren't getting enough air as my chest constricted. My stupid insecurities, resulting from the stunt Tanya had pulled on me, had gotten the better of me and made me jump the gun, judging the woman I loved, without even giving her the chance to defend herself. 

I was feeling paralyzed and sick to my stomach, fighting the urge to throw up.

“I have to talk to her,” I choked out before I stood up and staggered out of the house.

 

****POMH****

 

I knew, with the amount of whiskey I'd had, that I shouldn't be driving, but I needed to get to Bella's apartment as soon as possible.

When I arrived at her building, I couldn't remember how I got there. It was all a blur. I wasn't sure if I'd just run several red lights or violated the speed limit. I parked my car across the street, not even caring enough to lock it, and ran to her building. As I entered, I noticed that both elevators were somewhere on the upper floors. I deliberated for a second, then decided that I was too impatient to wait in the lobby. Instead, I ran up the four flights of stairs leading to Bella's floor.

My lungs were hurting from my race up there. Without pausing, I stumbled down the hall until I reached her door. No light was visible through the slit under the door, and I didn't hear any noises coming from within.

“Bella, please, open the door. I need to talk to you,” I choked out, still out of breath, while I knocked on her door.

Nothing happened — no noise, no opening the door.

“Bella, baby, please. I was so wrong, I'm so sorry. Please, hear me out.” I tried again, knocking louder.

I waited for what felt like forever without hearing the slightest noise from within. Maybe she wasn't there. But where else could she be? She wouldn't go anywhere other than to her sanctum to try to digest what I'd said to her.

_Oh fuck!_ I'd called her cheap. That was about the worst thing I could have said. And not even for a second had I believed it to be true. Yet, I'd said it with the sole intention of hurting her. I felt my heartbeat speed up, and my breathing became more irregular by the second as panic started to take over. What if she never spoke to me again?

“Bella, please let me in. I need to explain. I made a mistake. I fucked up. Please, baby, give me a chance to make this right.” My banging against her door became weaker as I slowly realized that I'd maybe destroyed the best thing that ever happened to me.

“Baby, I'm so, so sorry.” There was still no noise from her apartment, but somehow I felt her presence, and I was sure she was inside — too hurt or too mad to even tell me to fuck off.

I knocked my fist against the door in a steady but gradually slowing rhythm.

“Bella, I can't live without you. I need to make this right. Please, talk to me.” My voice sounded weak and strangled as my head dropped down and my forehead rested against the wood. Desperation started to feel like a heavy weight on my shoulders, pushing me to the ground. I turned, resting my back against the door, and let myself slide down, until I was sitting on the floor, my knees pulled up against my chest. 

“Baby, I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me. I can't leave before I explain and apologize. Bella, please, don't give up on me. On us.” 

My last words reminded me once again what was at stake. Since Thanksgiving, we had finally developed some kind of real relationship. Bella had stopped constantly reminding me that we were just friends. The night before Thanksgiving, when I had surprised her in her childhood bedroom, she had opened up to me in a way she never had with anyone else. Although her revelations made me very sad, I felt elated, knowing that she trusted me, and I tried to tell her — carefully and subtly — that I loved her and wanted to be with her. Since that night, she hadn't seemed to object to us being a couple anymore. Even though we hadn't talked about it, there had been a shift in the way we acted around each other. 

Finally, she had invited me to her bed just to hold her at night instead of having sex and letting me stay out of some convenience. She'd let me hold her hand at First Beach and at dinner with Alice and Jasper. We'd been Christmas shopping together, holding each other, kissing and laughing a lot. All the world could see we were in love.

While I was in New Orleans, I missed her like crazy. I wanted — no, I  _needed_ to talk to her about everything, but I'd decided to wait for her to come to me, afraid I would scare her off if I pushed her too far too soon. I wanted to do it as soon as I was back.

And then, there was Jacob. I couldn't believe that he was there at the bar with Bella, Alice and Jasper. It really stung when he asked Bella if I was her boyfriend, and she answered that we were just friends. Thinking about it rationally, I had to admit that she couldn't have answered any differently. After all, we weren't officially a couple. At that moment, though, it only made me more uncomfortable and enhanced the distance between us.

Although Bella seemed kind of reserved, the four of them were so familiar with each other, just like the four of  _us_ usually were. It felt like he had taken my place. All of a sudden, I hadn't been so sure anymore that Bella really wanted me. What if she wanted him again? After all, he'd been her first love, her first lover. No matter what happened between them afterward, that still meant something. Maybe there were still feelings between them after all.

I felt like the fifth wheel all night, so I went home early, too confused by the sudden change of our situation to take Bella home with me, although there was nothing I wanted more than to make love to her, hold her all night, finally tell her that she was my everything. I just couldn't, and I didn't want her to miss out on time with her friend, if that was what he was. 

The rest of the week, everything seemed to be stacked against us. We both had loads of work to do, and the only evening we could have spent together would have been another night with Jacob around. I decided not to go because I couldn't stand to see them together.

So, when I saw them kissing, I'd been sure they were back together, or at least, that they would end up in bed together. It wouldn't have been the first time. I knew Jacob was in love with Bella the second I laid eyes on him. So, I thought maybe they were together for real this time. Anyway, no matter if they were in love, just hooking up for old times' sake or he'd walked out on her again, Bella and I were done. Or that's what I'd thought. I was sure I'd lost her, or she had at least broken our deal. After what I'd gone through with Tanya, I wasn't willing to let anyone cheat on me ever again. 

How could I have known that the kiss was only one-sided, that nothing else happened? My old fear had reared its ugly head, and I totally overreacted. I should have given her the chance to defend herself, to explain what happened. But instead, I'd kept hitting her while I knew that she was on the floor already.

Realizing that she wasn't going to open the door, I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket.

_**Bella, baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean what I said. I was stupid and hurt. Now I know what happened, and I'm so so sorry. Please, talk to me. - E** _

Seconds after I hit send, I heard the faint sound of  _Sexmachine_ from the apartment. So she was home after all, and she must have heard every word I'd said. 

“Bella, I'm not leaving. I'm staying right here until you talk to me. I can't lose you.” I wasn't sure, but I thought I heard a quiet sob, and it broke my heart. I could only imagine how she must be feeling. I'd taken advantage of her insecurities and hurt her with the knowledge only I had. She had trusted me against her better judgment, and I'd betrayed that trust in the worst way possible. 

 

****POMH****

 

Time went by slowly. Although my whole body hurt from the uncomfortable pose I'd been holding for hours, I didn't move. Every now and then, I assured her again how sorry I was, and that I needed her to listen to me, but aside from the occasional sob I thought I heard, there was no sign of life from within the apartment.

I wasn't sure what time it was and how long I'd been sitting with my back against Bella's door, but eventually, people started to walk past me sporadically, always eying me suspiciously. After a while, more people crossed the hall. I realized that it must be morning, and that I'd sat there, waiting all night for Bella to let me in. My heart sank, knowing that if she hadn't let me in by now, she most certainly wouldn't open the door any time soon.

I stood up, stretching my stiff muscles, placing my hand against the door.

“Bella, I'll leave now. Please, call me. I need to talk to you. Please, give me one more chance.”

For a very long moment, I stood still, hoping against hope that she might come out now that I told her I was leaving, but she didn't.

Taking in a painful breath, I turned and walked away, leaving the woman I loved, not knowing if I would ever talk to her again.

 

********POMH********

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this one didn't hurt as much as the last one, but it's not the ending most of you were hoping for. In my first idea of the story, I had Bella forgive Edward that same night. But the closer I got to actually writing that part, the clearer it became that she just couldn't. If she'd forgive someone calling her cheap that easily, than she's the doormat instead of Edward.  
> You want a glimpse at the next chapter, which will be in BPOV again? Here it goes:
> 
> … It was like a magnetic force pulling me toward him, to be as close to him as possible for what might very well be the last time ever. … 
> 
> What do you think?  
> I can't tell you when yet when the next update will be. I can only promise that it'll be no longer than five days. Until then, please, review, PM or join us on FB in the Payton79's Fanfiction group. Over the last days, we had some really interesting discussions there.  
> See you soon.


	33. Chapter 29 - All Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my friends. I'm really excited that so many of you reviewed last chapter. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.   
> As always, I have to bow to EdwardsMate4ever and evelyn-shaye for their mad betaing skills. I also want to thank my dear friends and prereaders Vampgirl79 and LaPumuckl.  
> Now I'll leave you to enjoy the chapter. See you at the bottom.
> 
> Disclaimer: I love it a lot, but I don't own it ;).

 

Chapter 30 – All Alone

 

As soon as I was inside my car, the floodgates opened, and I couldn't hold back my tears any longer. Still, I struggled not to cry. No matter how much I wanted to let the emotions out, I needed to get away from Alice and Jasper's house, and more importantly, from a certain man inside.

After a futile attempt to wipe away the tears that just kept running down my cheeks, I turned my key in the ignition, revved the engine, and sped off as fast as I could. I wasn't really able to see through the blur in my eyes, and I was relieved when I reached my building without hitting anyone.

I felt a little bit more at ease, but at the same time, more lonely than ever before when I finally closed the door to my apartment behind me. Without switching on the light, I stumbled to the couch and sank down there, pulling my knees up and hugging them to my chest.

Now that I was alone and in my home, the reality of what had happened washed over me like a tidal wave. I'd planned to talk to Edward that night, to tell him that I loved him and wanted to be with him, putting myself out there — vulnerable and insecure. But instead of giving me the chance to do so, he'd started to attack me, accusing me of cheating on him and calling me names. He was the only person in the world I had ever told about my feeling cheap and slutty. I had trusted him with everything I had — my body, my heart and my soul. And he had betrayed that trust in the cruelest way. No one other than he had the knowledge and power to hit me where it really hurt.

With him, for the first time in my adult life, I'd had a feeling of safety and security. I had opened up to him, let him into my life like no one before him — not even Jacob. And tonight he had destroyed me.

I didn't know how long I'd been sitting there like a picture of misery, rocking myself back and forth in time with my violent sobs, but eventually a loud knock on the door startled me.

“Bella, please, open the door. I need to talk to you.” The words came out in between heavy panting.

What did he want now? Hadn't he hurt me enough already? I couldn't stand to see him look at me the way he had at Alice's for even one more second. I wanted to yell at him, tell him to leave me the fuck alone. But I couldn't. I was paralyzed, unable to move or say anything.

“Bella, baby, please. I was so wrong, I'm so sorry. Please, hear me out.” The knocks accompanying his words were louder this time, while his voice sounded more pleading.

To hear him call me “baby” was like grinding salt into my open wound. The term of endearment was something he only called me when we were alone and mostly when we were intimate. Hearing him say it now only reminded me of the fact that we would never be together like that again.

He said he was wrong. Of course he was. I wasn't guilty of anything he'd accused me of. Jacob kissed me, but I hadn't done anything to encourage him. I even pushed him away, because I loved Edward and couldn't even imagine kissing or touching someone else. But he'd jumped to conclusions without talking to me first. That truly revealed his opinion of me.

Why should I hear him out? He had clearly spoken his mind, and there was nothing more to add. He thought I was cheap and broke up with me. I didn't need any further explanations.

To know he was so close and yet completely out of reach brought on a fresh round of tears.

“Bella, please let me in. I need to explain. I made a mistake. I fucked up. Please, baby, give me a chance to make this right.” He was still knocking, but it was lacking the same determination as before. He was either frustrated or growing tired.

Why should I give him a chance? There was no way he could ever make this right again. The second the word “cheap” left his mouth — a word that was the key to my most private fears and regrets — it had been too late. He could never take it back. It would forever be out there.

“Baby, I'm so, so sorry.” The tone of his voice made it unmistakable that his sorrow was genuine. His knocks came in a slow, steady rhythm now, although they were beginning to grow weaker.

He really was sorry. I believed him without a doubt. But the fact that he'd said those hurtful words made it clear to me that, at least for one moment, he'd believed them. And that was enough.

The underlying desperation in his voice made me feel sorry for him. I loved him, and it hurt me to know that he was in pain. Without my conscious command, I rose from the couch, and my feet carried me over to the door. It was like a magnetic force pulling me toward him, to be as close to him as possible for what might very well be the last time ever.

“Bella, I can't live without you. I need to make this right. Please, talk to me.” He almost choked those words out, and I rested my forehead against the smooth wood. My hand rose, and I placed my palm against the door as if I was caressing his face in a comforting gesture.

While I was biting back the noises that were building in my throat, I heard cloth scratch over the surface of the door. His next words came from further down, so I assumed he must have been sitting on the floor by then.

“Baby, I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me. I can't leave before I explain and apologize. Bella, please, don't give up on me. On us.”

Yes, there had been an  _us_ . Although I'd tried my hardest to deny it, we'd been together — as a couple — far earlier than I'd been able to admit it to myself. It had come naturally to be close to Edward, being happy when he was around and missing him when he was not. For the first time ever, I'd experienced what a committed relationship could be like. But it had all ended within two minutes.

Trying not to make any noise to draw his attention to my presence so close to him, I slid down the door and sat with my back against it on the floor.

Sitting there, in the dark, I could feel his presence. We were sharing this moment of heartbreak with each other, neither of us able to make it go away. I wanted to be with him — to feel his touch, his kiss — but I couldn't forgive and forget like that.

“ _Get up, get up, stay on the scene like a sexmachine...”_ Edward had changed his strategy, and I had forgotten to set my phone to vibrate. To hear the familiar melody made my eyes water again. The memory of the first evening in my studio came to my mind. After the great sex we'd had that night, I'd awarded him that special song as his personal ringtone. 

If my silence had made him wonder whether I was even home, the sound of my phone must have assured him that I was definitely inside and within hearing range.

“Bella, I'm not leaving. I'm staying right here until you talk to me. I can't lose you.” He seemed to have gained some new determination because his voice sounded firmer and more confident.

A sob escaped my throat upon hearing his words. He didn't want to lose me, and yet, he had deliberately hurt me. And he hadn't hurt me randomly — no, he had unerringly chosen to do it thoroughly.

 

****POMH****

 

After sobbing quietly for hours, I must have fallen asleep sometime during the night, because I was startled when I was awakened by Edward's voice.

“Bella, I'll leave now. Please, call me. I need to talk to you. Please, give me one more chance.”

From the direction his voice came from, he must have been standing. I lifted my head slowly from my arms and pulled my bent knees closer to my chest. My eyes felt puffy and dry from the amount of tears they'd shed. The daylight that was drifting through the window almost blinded me.

I could feel that Edward hadn't left yet. I could still sense his presence outside the apartment. All my instincts were driving me to get up, fling the door open and wrap my arms around him to beg him not to leave. But I couldn't. I felt like an invisible weight was pushing me to the floor, keeping me there.

When I heard his footsteps fade away, my chest felt tight, and I couldn't breathe. I was on the verge of a panic attack. To keep myself from hyperventilating, I put my head between my knees and tried to breathe slowly in and out. That moment, I realized I was all alone.

 

****POMH****

 

From then on, time didn't matter anymore. Minutes felt like days while, at the same time, hours went by like seconds. I moved around my apartment in a stupor, alternately feeling numb and physical pain at my loss.

After years of running away from emotional intimacy, I'd finally let someone into my heart again. I had trusted Edward, and he'd failed me. I couldn't keep from comparing what I was feeling to what I felt when Jacob threw me out of his apartment so many years ago.

Both times, I'd been in love with men who had betrayed my trust. And yet, there were major differences.

I'd loved Jacob for a long time. It was a slowly building, admiring kind of love — a love that you only felt for someone you'd known for a very long time. With Edward, it was all-consuming, passionate love at first sight — a love that, once you'd felt it, you couldn't live without.

Another very important difference was that Jacob had never promised me anything. Our nights together had just happened — without a commitment or big declarations beforehand. Edward had made me a promise to never hurt me. The night I told him about Jacob and my fear of trusting a man again, he promised me he would never betray the trust I had in him. And that was what hurt the most. He'd done exactly that.

I didn't eat, and I could hardly sleep. The silence in my apartment was like a painful drum in my ears. At one point, I tried to lie down on my bed, but Edward's scent still lingered on the pillows. In a frantic attempt to get rid of everything that reminded me of him and the pain he'd caused me, I ripped the sheets off the bed and threw the pillows on the ground. My eyes spotted a pair of scissors on the dresser. I grabbed them and stabbed his pillow like a mad woman until the feathers were raining down on me, covering the floor in white down. Tears were once again streaming down my face.

When there were no tears left, I felt exhausted. I climbed on the bed, curling up into ball on the bare mattress, and stared at the empty space on Edward's side of the bed. He'd only been there a few times, but it was  _his_ side. The void that was emanating from the empty space was threatening to suck me in. So I turned around, trying to forget he'd ever been there.

I was barely able to stay awake and yet, every time I closed my eyes, I saw his face. Sometimes he was smiling at me, sometimes he was laughing, but each time, after a while, he was glaring at me with blood-shot eyes, yelling insults. The words that filled my head were even worse than the pictures:  _You really are cheap!_

Every time I reached the point where I heard him say it, my eyes flew open, and I was gasping for air.

At some point during what I thought was early Sunday, I disconnected my phone that wouldn't stop ringing. My cell had already been switched off for a long time. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I just sat or lay around, waiting for the pain to go away.

 

****POMH****

 

“Bella, honey. Oh my God.” 

I threw my arm over my eyes to shut out the light Alice was letting into the room when she opened the drapes.

“Alice, what are you doing here?” My voice was hoarse from disuse.

“I came looking for you.” She stood in the middle of the bedroom, taking in the chaos. The sheets I'd yanked off the bed were still in a pile on the floor, and there were feathers everywhere. “I was worried. When we couldn't reach you or Edward over the weekend, we were sure you were making up. We only found out what happened when Edward came to work today, looking like shit. Jasper called me, and after picking up your spare key at home, I came straight over here.” She sat down next to me on the bed, brushing my wild, wayward hair out of my face. “So you can't forgive him?” Her voice was soft, her eyebrows raised and her forehead wrinkled with concern.

I shook my head as fresh tears fell from my eyes. It felt much more final to tell someone else than only acknowledging it myself.

“Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry,” she whispered as she lay down on the bed beside me, throwing her arms around me and letting me cry against her neck.

She didn't try to get any information out of me, and she didn't try to make me feel better by reciting stupid phrases. She didn't even try to convince me to forgive Edward or anything like that. She held me, let me cry my heart out and listened to whatever I was willing to tell her.

Once I'd finally calmed down, she made me take a shower while she cleaned up the bedroom and insisted that I eat the pizza she'd ordered. Alice even offered to stay over and keep me company, but I declined.

“It's okay, Alice. I've been living alone for three years now. I'm a big girl,” I assured her as she was gathering her stuff to leave.

“You don't have to. You can come stay with us for a few days if you want to.” She looked at me with sad, sympathetic eyes.

I couldn't help but remember the night Edward and I met at their house. The memories their guest room held were as powerful as the ones here in my bedroom. So that wasn't really an option. Besides, I wanted to be alone.

“No, thanks. But, could you please do me a favor? Or better Jazz. Before I disconnected the phone, Edward tried to call me several times. Could Jasper please tell him to leave me alone?” I couldn't handle his calls. I didn't want to talk to him, I couldn't stand hearing his voice, and I didn't want to be afraid he could be waiting for me at my studio or anywhere else.

“Of course, honey. I hope you'll be feeling better soon. And if you need to talk to someone, you can call me any time you need me, even if it's in the middle of the night.” With her brows raised in concern, she waited for me to acknowledge her offer.

“I know. Thank you, Alice.” She hugged me goodbye and reluctantly left my apartment.

After closing the door behind her, I turned to look at the place that had always made me feel safe. Nothing had changed there, but in my life, everything was different.

What was I going to do now?

 

********POMH********

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, not what most of you were hoping for. I'm sorry. Please, just have a little more patience and things will work out. There will be one more painful chapter and then things will get better, I promise.   
> You want a teaser for next chapter? Here it goes:
> 
> … Then her gaze wandered from my face over to the Christmas tree, resting on a small gift bag that was still lying under it. … 
> 
> Not much to go on but there will be a few surprises. Again, I won't let you wait longer than five days max. Until then, tell me what you think, here or on FB in the group Payton79's Fanfiction.   
> See you next chapter.


	34. Chapter 30 - Blue Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday! POMH is back with the last completely angsty chapter. It'll get better soon ;).  
> Thanks for all your reviews. I'm totally overwhelmed how much you all care. You ladies are the best.  
> I want to shout out a loud “Thank you” to my amazing team: my betas, evelyn-shaye and EdwardsMate4ever as well as my prereaders Vampgirl79 and LaPumuckl. I have to warn you, though. There are a few paragraphs in here that have been added after editing and prereading. So, all the mistakes you'll find are mine alone.  
> Enjoy Bella's blue Christmas. See you at the bottom.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight …

Chapter 30 – Blue Christmas

 

“Did you make a decision about the company Christmas party tomorrow?” Alice asked me during our daily phone call on Thursday. She insisted on talking to me at least once each day. Sometimes, it felt a bit like she was making sure I wouldn't do anything stupid. On the other hand, it was the only human contact I had recently, apart from professional conversations with my assistant and occasional phone calls from customers, and I was grateful that my best friend cared about me like that.

The whole week I'd been going through the motions, trying to live my normal routines without feeling anything. Every day, I forced myself to get up in the morning, take a shower, eat at least a little bit, and go to work. In the evenings, I watched mindless action movies that I wouldn't normally watch, just to make sure there was nothing that could remind me of Edward. The worst part, though, was getting myself out the door.

For the first few days, every time I left the apartment, I was constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure Edward wasn't crouching anywhere to confront me. But he seemed to comply with my request to be left alone, for which I was grateful.

“I don't think I can go.” I knew that I couldn't avoid him forever, but it was way too soon to even be in the same room as him.

“But you have to be there. You worked hard for the company this past year, and you belong there,” she insisted.

“Edward …” I needed to take a break to swallow before I could continue. It was the first time I'd spoken his name in about a week, and it hurt. “He'll be there, too. I don't think I can face him yet.” Over the last few years, I'd come to enjoy the events the agency organized for its employees. There was an annual barbecue in the summer that was just as nice as the Christmas party. Although Jasper was my only close friend in the company, I enjoyed spending time with a lot of my coworkers. As much as I couldn't bear to see Edward, I actually didn't want to miss out on the event.

“I promise that he'll leave you alone. Jazz and I will be by your side the whole time if you want us to. Come on, you can't just back out like that. If you don't go, I won't go either. It's our last chance to see each other before Jazz and I fly out to Chicago for Christmas.” That was the Alice I knew. She wouldn't take no for an answer. And she was right. I'd completely forgotten that they were leaving the day after tomorrow to spend the holidays with Jasper's family.

I knew she wouldn't get off my back until I agreed. “Okay, I'll go. But I won't stay long.” 

“Great. We'll pick you up at seven.” I could hear her smile through the phone.

I envied Alice for being so cheerful over something so small. Nothing could make me smile these days.

Anyway, I had to stop her there, feeling desperate to have a means of escape if it all got too much. “No, I'll meet you there. I want to be able to leave whenever I feel the need to.”

She sighed but conceded. “Fine. I have to go now. Talk to you later, hun.”

“Good night, Alice. I'll call you tomorrow.”

So, now that the check-call part of the evening was over and done with, I found myself facing the same problem I had every night. I was alone in my empty apartment, and although he hadn't been here often, everywhere I looked I saw Edward. Even after a week, I was still having a hard time finding sleep in the bed that once smelled like him, and when I finally made my way into dreamland, I woke up shortly after, soaked in sweat, with Edward's last words at the party ringing in my ears.  _Maybe you really are cheap!_

And still, although he'd hurt me so deeply, I missed him like crazy. His absence made my heart ache. The void he'd left behind seemed to suck me in. I longed not only for his gentle touch but for his soothing warmth and the way in which he made me feel safe.

But no matter how much I missed our closeness, it was a thing of the past. He'd shown his true colors and he could never take it back. Whether I liked it or not, we would never be  _us_ again, and I had to learn to live with that.

So, just like the nights before, I switched the TV on and tried to kill some time until the inevitable fight for a few hours of sleep would begin.

Another long and painful night was ahead of me. 

 

****POMH****

 

I was all dressed, my hair and make-up done, and ready to go to the Christmas party. All day, I'd refused to think about what might happen there. It had been exactly one week since the party at Alice and Jasper's. One week since I'd last seen Edward. Seven days of missing him, hating him and hurting over his insults were behind me. How many more were still ahead before I would eventually be able to move on?

I tried to push those thoughts away as I entered my car. I took three deep breaths before I started the engine and drove off.

Arriving at the restaurant, I decided to park in the building's underground parking garage. It didn't take long until I found an empty spot to my left. As I was about to pull into it, the headlights of my car passed the license plate of the silver Volvo that was parked to the right. I instantly felt like someone had kicked me in the gut upon recognizing the very familiar car.

My hands clamped tightly around the wheel as my breathing sped up. Pictures of the time I'd spent in the vehicle in front of me flooded my mind — the evening I spilled my guts about my disastrous experience with the only man I'd ever loved before, the exciting drive home from the movie theater after watching  _Skyfall_ , the journey to Forks to spend Thanksgiving with my family, the many times we'd said goodbye in front of my building.

Tears began to spill from my eyes as the overwhelming images assaulted my brain. My chest started to hurt from the effort it took me to fill my lungs with air. I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against the steering wheel, trying to get my erratic sobbing under control.

I had no idea how long I sat there like that or how many cars honked at me, annoyed by the fact that my car was partly blocking their path.

Once my panic attack was slowly subsiding, my phone rang with Alice's ring tone, and that seemed to be the cue for my getaway. I lifted my head and stepped on the gas, leaving the place where I knew that Edward was waiting only a few feet away. 

If I broke down like that only by a look at his car, how was I to handle seeing him in person? I wasn't yet in a state where I was strong enough to expose myself to that kind of stress.

Alice called again just as I closed the door to my apartment. Fumbling to get the phone out of my purse, I walked over to my couch, slipped out of my shoes, and sat down with my knees drawn up against my chest.

“Alice, I'm sorry. I can't do it.” I shivered, and a fresh round of tears streamed down my face.

“Bella, honey, where are you? What happened?” She sounded worried.

I was sobbing once more, sorry to bother my friend with my heartache again. “I'm at home now. I was there. I was about to park when I recognized his car in the next spot. I can't see him. Not now, maybe not ever.”

“Hang in there. I'm coming over.” Before I could object, she hung up on me.

 

****POMH****

 

Although I insisted she should go back to spend the evening with Jasper, she stayed over until long after midnight to keep me company and distract me from my pain. Then we said our goodbyes, and I wished her a good flight and happy holidays. I knew mine wouldn't be.

 

****POMH****

 

“Hey, honey. It's great that you're finally here.” Sue hugged me as soon as I stepped into the house, still brushing the snow off my winter coat. 

I'd left Seattle around noon to reach Forks in time to celebrate Christmas Eve with my family. The normal three-hour drive took me a whole lot longer today because, as soon as I was out of the city, it started to snow massively. Not only was there no chance of speeding, but most of the other cars on the highway were creeping around.

“Hi, Sue. I'm so glad I'm here. The trip was hell.” The house smelled like cinnamon and oranges like it always did that time of year. The familiarity was comforting and made coming home worth while.

“Then it's a good thing that you have two days to recover before you have to go back,” she said, smiling as she took my coat from me.

I wasn't so sure that it was a good idea to stay here for two nights. In fact, I was dreading the next two days. Charlie and Sue were the only family I had, and I wanted to spend Christmas with them, but I was afraid of what being in their house would do to me. 

The last time I'd come here, I'd brought Edward, and we'd spent two very happy days and nights here. Actually, that had been the start of what I'd thought could have been a real relationship. How wrong I'd been.

I was glad that Charlie, coming down the stairs, pulled me out of my inner monologue.

“Hi, Dad,” I greeted him and hoped it sounded cheerful.

He wrapped his arms around me for a long moment. “Hi, Bells.” The way he held onto me was out of character for him, and I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more to it.

I heard Sue quietly clear her throat and Charlie pulled away.

“It's good to have you here again,” he stated, awkwardly sliding his hands into his pockets. “Do you have anything in the car that needs to be unloaded?”

“Yes, there are two bags in the trunk.”

“I'll go get them,” he said before I could object. “You go upstairs and freshen up. I'll be right back.”

 

****POMH****

 

A few hours later, after we'd had dinner, we moved into the living room to sit on the couch in front of the Christmas tree. Just like every year, it was decorated with ornaments that were either heirlooms of my grandparents' or decorations I'd made myself when I was a child.

The Christmas stockings that had been part of the holidays for as long as I could remember were hanging from the mantelpiece. It was all cozy and familiar, but I was unable to relax. Strangely, neither Charlie nor Sue had mentioned Edward's name since I'd arrived. Normally, when we talked on the phone, it didn't even take a minute before they would ask about him. It kind of seemed like they knew it was better not to talk about him. I just couldn't figure out how they would know.

“So, let's start opening the presents,” Sue suggested when we were all comfortably seated.

Since I'd been fifteen, it had been a tradition in our family to open the presents on Christmas Eve rather than on Christmas morning.

Charlie stood up and walked over to the tree, taking a little present wrapped in green and red paper from the floor and handing it to Sue.

“Darling, this is for you. Merry Christmas.” He kissed her cheek and sat down on the armrest of the couch right next to her.

Without much ado, Sue ripped it open and revealed a black plastic box with a jeweler's name on it. As soon as she saw it, she smiled happily before she lifted the lid. Inside the box was a delicate gold watch with a black leather wristband. Her smile widened at the sight of it.

She reached up and threw her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her. “Oh, Charlie, thank you so much.”

“You said you needed a new watch. So I thought, you know, I'd get you one.” He seemed to be a little uncomfortable with her display of gratitude, but at the same time, he was smug that he'd gotten her something she really liked.

“It's such a pretty watch.” She pulled it out and put it on her wrist, twisting her arm to admire it with the light dancing off the glass. “Thank you.”

Next, Sue handed Charlie his present, which turned out to be a new fishing pole. The thing seemed to be the newest model, and my dad was totally blissful.

I gave both of them my wrapped gifts, and they opened them together. I felt a small pang at the memory of the day I'd been Christmas shopping with Edward. But I forced a smile on my face when they thanked me for the jacket and the gloves.

“This is for you, honey. We hope you'll like it.” Sue handed me a flat, square present, about fifteen inches wide.

I slowly opened the wrapping at the seams and uncovered an photo book, shot by my favorite landscape photographer. I'd wanted that book for a while, but it was quite expensive.

“Thank you so much. How did you know I wanted this?” I reached over to hug Sue, then walked over to my dad, who was still sitting on the armrest, to embrace him as well.

“A little birdie told us,” Sue admitted, smiling at me.

Then her gaze wandered from my face over to the Christmas tree, resting on a small gift bag that was still lying under it. I'd noticed the gift and wondered what it was when I put my presents under the tree earlier in the evening. Sue's smile turned into a slight frown before she looked at Charlie with her brows furrowed and her lips pressed in a tight line.

My dad stood up again and bent down to pick up the little bag, then handed it to Sue. After taking a deep breath, she turned to me.

“Bella, honey, there's something else for you.” I looked at her in confusion. I'd already gotten my present and it wasn't usual for them to give me more than one. Both my parents appeared to be anxious about that thing.

I motioned to the book in my lap. “But I already have my gift here.”

“It's not from us, sweetie. It's from Edward,” Sue said carefully, apparently waiting for my reaction.

I pulled in a sharp breath, fighting back the tears that started pooling at the sound of his name.

“Before you say anything, just listen to me,” she continued. “He came here the day he had to leave for Chicago, driving the whole way, just to leave it here for you. He told me that he made a big mistake and that he hurt you badly. He said you had every right to be upset and that he would understand if you never speak to him again.” She stopped talking, smiling sadly when she saw the tears that were threatening to brim over. “He said that, no matter what happened between you, he wanted you to have this.” She held the bag out to me, but I was paralyzed, unable to take it. “He wanted us to give it to you because he was afraid you might throw it away if he just left it at your door or sent it to you in the mail.”

My tears were flowing freely now, and my dad handed me a handkerchief. I didn't bother to wipe my face because I was sure I was far from done crying for the night.

“Bella, even if you don't want it now, you should keep it. You can open it sometime later, maybe much later. But it's a really special gift. You'd regret if you threw it away.” Her voice was soft and sympathetic, her brows raised with concern while her hand was resting on mine in a soothing gesture.

“How do you know what's in it?” I managed to ask when her words finally registered with me.

“He asked for my help a few weeks back. He put a lot of effort into this.” She looked at Charlie as if waiting for some assurance from him, before turning her eyes back to me. “I'm not going to give you any advice here. I don't know what happened, and I'm not asking you to tell us. I'm just begging you to think about accepting it, and if you're not ready to open it now, take it home with you. Someday, you might be happy to have it.” When I didn't take the bag from her, she placed it in the middle of the coffee table and wrapped her arms around me, stroking my back while I cried against her shoulder.

Although Charlie had never been one for emotional outbursts, he kept sitting where he was, patting my head to give me whatever comfort he had to offer.

 

****POMH****

 

When I'd calmed down a little, we opened a bottle of wine and watched  _It's a Wonderful Life_ on TV before calling it a night.

For the last eight years, every time I'd been in their house, I'd dreaded entering my bedroom, afraid that the memories of my screwed-up first time with Jacob would bring me down. The anxiety I'd felt over the past years had nothing on the strangling fear I felt when I stood in the upstairs hall, my hand on the knob, trying to calm down just enough to walk inside.

Four weeks ago, Edward had been in there with me. In one passionate and loving night, he'd managed to erase the bad memories that had been residing in my room and replaced them with memories of love and security. Now that these feelings didn't exist anymore, it was harder than ever to go inside.

Determined to not worry Charlie and Sue any further if they came upstairs to find me standing outside my room, trying to breathe evenly, I closed my eyes and opened the door. Without blinking, I walked in, closed the door behind me and rested my back against the cool wood.

After a few minutes, I opened my eyes, lay down on my bed and let the memories crush me. I cried silently for what felt like hours. I cried for the girl who'd been cruelly disappointed after trusting her oldest friend. I cried for the young woman who'd given herself to dozens of men, trying to forget the pain and regain her self-esteem. I cried for the woman who'd struggled to give love a second chance, only to get hurt again. I let all the emotions rip through me, trying to get everything out of my system.

Sometime after midnight, I had no more tears left for the day and dozed off to an uneasy sleep.

 

****POMH****

 

I spent the next day cooking with Sue, eating with her and Charlie, and taking a walk with them through the snowy streets of my little hometown. It was familiar and somehow comforting. I reveled in the feeling of having the people around me who cared for me the most. Still, I couldn't shake off the fear of another night like the last one. So, when it was late afternoon, I made the decision to return to Seattle instead of staying for one more night.

Sue looked at me with worry in her eyes as we were standing in the hall. “You're sure you want to drive back tonight? You're looking tired, honey.”

“Yes, I'm sure. I need to be alone for a while. And I have to work tomorrow.” I tried to sound sincere, but I knew that I didn't manage.

Charlie helped me put my coat on before he wrapped his strong arms around me. “Take care, kiddo. And come back soon. I love you”

“I'll try, Dad. I love you, too. Both of you.” I looked up to find Sue standing behind Charlie, nervously fidgeting with the red gift bag I'd tried so hard to forget.

Charlie let go of me as she cleared her throat.

“Sweetie, you should take this with you. Do whatever you want with it, but, please, don't throw it away.” Her eyes, wide open, were pleading with me. 

I breathed once, grabbed the bag, hugged my stepmother, and quickly left the house.

 

********POMH********

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this was the last chapter ending sadly. In the end of next chapter, you'll all feel hopeful again. Do you want a little sneak peek? Here it goes:
> 
> … I didn't feel ready for this, but something told me I had to find out what it was that Edward considered important enough to take a six-hour drive to make sure I'd keep it. … 
> 
> Yes, you'll learn what's in the gift bag. There might be some surprises in there but I'm sure some of you already have an idea what the present could be. If you do, please, let me know. I'm very curious to read your thoughts.   
> I have to warn you that, this time, I might not be able to reply to your reviews as quickly as I usually do. We have family visiting with us this whole weekend and I won't be able to spend much time in front of the computer. But I promise, as always I'll answer every one that's left by a logged-in reader who hasn't disabled PM's.  
> I'll probably post the next chapter on Wednesday. Until then, leave me your thoughts here or on FB in the group Payton79's Fanfiction.  
> CU


	35. Chapter 31 - Mail Delivery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi and happy Hump Day! I know you all are dying to know what's in the gift bag. I don't want to make you wait for it any longer than necessary, but there's one guest review I feel the need to address. The reader thought that it was wrong of me to not react to the reviewers complaining about Bella's way of not seeing Edward's pain and her own mistakes by changing the plot. There are two reasons why I won't do that. Firstly, this story is mostly pre-written and I'm not going to re-write it because some people don't like the turns the plot takes. Secondly, this is not interactive writing. I love and appreciate all your comments, good or bad, but in the end this is still my story, and I have to write it the way I see it. And I've been seeing it for a very long time.  
> Thanks for all your reviews and PM's. I love them and like to answer them but some of you are either guests or have disabled PM's. Sorry.  
> I can't say enough how grateful I am for the help of my betas EdwardsMate4ever and evelyn-shaye and my pre-readers Vampgirl79 and LaPumuckl. They help me in more ways than they even know. Every mistakes you might find are only mine because I change things and change them again right until I post.  
> Without further ado, I'll let you find out what Edward got Bella for Christmas. See you at the bottom.
> 
> Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meier, not me. I bow to her for giving it to us.

Chapter 31 – Mail Delivery

 

For the next several days, I did whatever I could to keep busy and distract myself from hurting over Edward. I'd been lying to my father and Sue when I told them I had to work. There were no shoots scheduled for the time between Christmas and New Year's. Most companies weren't even doing business during that time.

There was no one to pass time with, either. Alice and Jasper were in Chicago with his family. Even my assistant had taken some time off to visit her family in Portland.

On the first day, I cleaned my whole studio. The next day, I reorganized my files on my computer. When all that was done, I started to think about a project I'd always wanted to take on. Since I'd become a photographer, I'd always wanted to do a photo book illustrating the wonderful landscapes of Washington. I thought about it for a long time, and even started planning some of the landmarks I wanted to shoot.

I decided that my New Year's resolution would be to turn my idea into something concrete.

The days went by, and although everything was slow, I suddenly found myself wondering what to do for New Year's Eve, which was only one day away.

None of my close friends were in the city, but I didn't feel like celebrating, anyway. I was anxious to leave this screwed-up year behind me and get a fresh start in 2013. Out of options and unwilling to go out all by myself, I decided to nurse my broken heart with Mexican take-out and some movies. Add a bottle of tequila and I had the best way to make the transition from 2012 to 2013. 

_Maybe I'll get lucky and pass out on the couch before midnight_ .

Smiling at that idea, I was startled when there was a sudden knock on my door. It was very rare that people were at my door unannounced. I frowned slightly when I opened to find a delivery guy, holding an overnight express envelope in his hand. Without a lot of words, I signed for it and returned to my spot on the couch.

There was no return address, which was odd. But I was curious, so I opened it immediately.

Inside the standard envelope was a smaller, square one, made of thick, smooth paper. On the front was my name, written in black ink in narrow, uneven, scribbled letters — a typical man's script. There was no indication as to who had sent me that letter.

Intrigued by the mystery envelope, I opened it carefully, afraid to rip the expensive paper.

Inside was a professionally printed card that appeared to be an invitation. I didn't understand at once what it meant, but scanning the card, my eyes caught the names  _Emmett_ and  _Rosalie Cullen_ . A little further down in bold print were the words **New Year's Eve** .

After studying the whole thing, I was surprised to have received an invite to Emmett and Rosalie's New Year's Eve party at their house. I'd heard Alice talk about it, saying they would celebrate with Jasper's sister, her husband and their friends. The handwriting on the envelope was unmistakably a man's. Why would Emmett Cullen invite me to this party? Hadn't Edward told his brother that we weren't on speaking terms anymore? And how did Emmett get my address?

When I turned the envelope over, a folded piece of paper fell out. Confused but definitely curious, I unfolded it, finding a handwritten letter.

 

_Dear Bella,_

 

_I can imagine that a letter from me was the last thing you were expecting when you opened the mail. Since I know that you don't take any other calls than Alice's these days, I figured this would be the only way to get in touch with you._

_I heard what happened between you and Edward, and I can assure you that I chewed him out thoroughly for what he did to you. I understand your reaction, and normally, I wouldn't interfere in other people's business like this. But I have to tell you that I've never seen my brother looking the way he does right now. He looks defeated and broken. He's never suffered like this before, not even after finding Tanya in his bed fucking that douche. When he returned from the airport today, saying that you didn't come, I couldn't take it anymore. He's nothing but an empty shell, sitting around and staring at the wall or drinking himself numb. He never even leaves the house._

_Bella, my brother loves you like he's never loved anyone else in his life. I'm asking you, please do some serious soul-searching and try to find it in you to forgive Edward. He cannot live without you. If you love him like he loves you — and from what I saw in Seattle, you do — I hope you'll take me up on my invitation and celebrate New Year's with us._

_I really hope to see you soon and to see the brother that I know again._

 

_Emmett_

 

I gaped  at the paper in my hands, my eyes scanning the page furiously to be sure that I hadn’t made up what I was seeing. All I could think was, wow.

I hadn't imagined that Edward would be suffering like that. Of course, he'd spent a whole night in the hall in front of my door, waiting for me to let him in. And he'd driven six hours only to deliver a Christmas present for me. But I'd thought he would get over it.

What did Emmett mean by saying that Edward told him  _I didn't come_ ? Why should I have come to Chicago? And why would Edward have known which flight I'd be on? 

I realized that I wouldn't find the answers in Emmett's letter. But maybe there was a way to clear up a bit of this whole mystery.

I went to my bedroom, kneeling down in front of my dresser to open the bottom drawer. I had to rummage through my pajamas to get to the red gift bag I'd hidden underneath. Then I stared at it for a good while, my emotions battling to find the resolve to touch it. When I'd finally made up my mind, I carefully took the bag out of the drawer, not bothering to put the clothes back in, and walked over to sit on my bed.

For the first time since I'd brought it home, I dared to look inside the bag. I found a gift wrapped in green and gold paper and an envelope. I took both items out and put them on the covers in front of me.

My hands were feeling clammy, and I struggled to keep my breathing even. I didn't feel ready for this, but something told me I had to find out what it was that Edward considered important enough to take a six-hour drive to make sure I'd keep it.

With trembling hands, I opened the present first. When the wrap was gone, I held a little black box in my hands. It was square, about two by two inches wide. There was no name or anything else on the outside.

Holding my breath, I slowly opened the lid and gasped when I saw what Edward had gotten for me. In the middle of the black velvet cushion sat an elliptical gold amulet, decorated with emeralds and pearls. I hadn't noticed my eyes filling with tears before the first drop ran down my cheek at the sight of my grandmother's locket. 

I was aware that it most likely wasn't the exact charm my grandma had worn, but it was certainly the same model. With unsure fingers, I took the precious piece of jewelry out of the box, grazing the tip of my index finger over the inlaid pearls before touching the emeralds, whose color painfully reminded me of Edward's beautiful eyes. Suddenly, I saw those eyes before me — eyes that belonged to the man who'd taken it upon himself to search for the heirloom that meant so much to me but had gotten lost before I could receive it. My heart was almost bursting with love for him, fighting with the feeling of loss that I'd experienced over the last few weeks.

My tears were falling freely now as I carefully turned the locket over to look at it from every angle. I was stunned to find an engraving on the back.

_You're the puzzle of my heart_

The words sounded wonderful, but I didn't quite get their meaning. With fingers that didn't seem to be mine, I fumbled to open the locket to see if there was anything inside. Another gasp escaped my throat when my eyes locked on the picture Edward had placed in one of the two frames. It was a photograph of him and me, looking at each other in the kitchen in Forks. The background let me guess that it was taken while we were doing the dishes on Thanksgiving. Sue must have taken it. But all that didn't matter. What struck me was the look on both our faces. We clearly weren't aware of being photographed. Our eyes were locked in a loving, tender way. Nobody had ever looked at me like that.

I couldn't figure out what I was feeling at that moment. Too many emotions were running through me. After a few minutes of silent tears, my gaze fell on the envelope that had been in the bag with the gift.

Slowly, I put the locket back in the box and picket up the envelope, opening it carefully. As soon as it was open, I caught a glimpse of Edward's wide, elegant script. I took three deep breaths before I pulled the folded sheet out and another piece of paper fell onto the bed. Holding what seemed to be a letter in one hand, I took the fallen paper in my other, scanning the print. It appeared to be a plane ticket to Chicago, dated for December 29 th — last night.

I put the ticket down again and started to unfold the letter.

 

 

_My dearest Bella,_

 

_I'm not sure if you'll ever read this, and if you do, when it will be. I promise that, after this letter, I will respect your wish to be left alone. But I had to try to get through to you one last time._

_Words are not enough to tell you how sorry I am for screwing up. I should have had more faith in you than to think that you would go back to him and disregard everything that happened between us in the blink of an eye. I regret what I said to you more than anything in my entire life. The worst thing is, I didn't mean what I said for even one second. I only said it to hurt you, just like I thought you had hurt me._

_You can't imagine what it felt like to see you two kiss. It was like my heart was being ripped from my chest. I was sure I had lost you before I even had the chance to show you how much you mean to me._

_I understand if you never want to see my face again because I so cruelly betrayed your trust in me. But whatever may happen between us in the future, I want you to have the locket that took me weeks to find. It's probably not the exact one that was stolen from your grandmother, but it's as close as it gets. I know how much it means to you, and it should be yours. If you never want anything to do with me again, just throw away the picture, but please, keep the locket. It belongs to you._

_If, against all odds, you find it in your heart to forgive me, then come and spend New Year's Eve with me. I took a chance and bought you a ticket to fly out to Chicago on December 29_ _th_ _._

_Since the first time I laid eyes on you, I knew that you're the missing piece in the puzzle of my heart. When I'm with you, I'm whole. Without you, I will forever be incomplete._

_No matter what your decision may be, I'll always love you._

 

_Yours,_

_Edward_

 

 

I wiped away the tears that were streaming down my face before the drops could hit the letter in my hands. So many thoughts were racing through my mind. There was no doubt that he'd betrayed the trust I'd had in him; that he'd hurt me on purpose. He even admitted it in his letter. But he'd also written that he loved me. Oh my God, he really loved me! And no matter how hard I'd been fighting it over the past few weeks, I loved him, too. 

My heart went out to him when I imagined what it must have been like for him to see me in Jacob's arms. It wasn't at all what it must have looked like, but he couldn't have known that. The assumptions he'd made were based on what I'd told him about myself so many weeks ago. Could I blame him for being insecure because I was too much of a coward to tell him how I felt about him? I shouldn't have waited so long to talk to him about my feelings.

If I hadn't been sure before, the fact that he took it upon himself to search for my grandmother's locket was the last proof I needed to know that his love for me was real. He'd been patient with me, understanding why I wasn't ready to make a commitment. He'd never pushed me, but was by my side, waiting without complaining for me to see what everyone else had seen all along — that I was madly and passionately in love with him, probably from the moment we'd met, and that the feeling was mutual.

I started to sob uncontrollably, picturing Edward at the airport in Chicago, waiting for me to come through the doors. With every person emerging, his heart must have sunk a little deeper, realizing that I wouldn't come. How long did he wait before he gave up hope? 

Again, I put the letter down on the bed and took the locket in my hand, looking at the gemstones that so strikingly resembled the color of Edward's unique eyes. I pressed it against my chest, just above my heart that was suddenly aching for the man I loved, feeling his pain as well as mine. It didn't matter what he'd said to me that night. I couldn't live without him. I needed him like I needed air to breathe.

All of a sudden, I knew exactly what I had to do.

 

********POMH********

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're all happy with the way this chapter went. Some of you had guessed that Edward had found the locket. But what about the engraving and the letter? And Emmett's letter? Wasn't that sweet?  
> I know, it's a little strange that this is 2012 changing into 2013, but I wrote this story althrough last year and therefore it was about the New Year's Eve before that.  
> What do you think Bella's going to do now? I'll give you a little teaser:
> 
> … Somewhere down there was Edward, at his brother's house, waiting for the new year to begin and thinking I didn't want anything to do with him. It hurt to be so close to him but still so far away. … 
> 
> I have to tell you that we're close to the end now. There are only two more regular chapters left. But I'm still working on the epilogue which is currently already three chapters long. It might turn out to be four even. So, there's a little bit more to come.  
> The next chapter will probably be up on Sunday. Until then, leave me your thoughts here or on FB in the group Payton79's Fanfiction. For all of you who haven't seen it yet, there's a picture of the locket on FB, too. See you Sunday!


	36. Chapter 32 - Happy New Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my friends! I know you've all been patiently (or not so patiently) waiting for this chapter to come. So I don't want to tantalize you by ranting here.  
> Instead, I want to bow to my betas evelyn-shaye and EdwardsMate4ever as well as my pre-readers LaPumuckl and Vampgirl79. Ladies, I'd be completely lost without your help and guidance.  
> Without any further ado, here's what you've all been looking forward to. Enjoy! See you at the bottom.
> 
> Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things twilight. Let's send her a round of applause for letting us fun with her characters.

 

Chapter 33 – Happy New Year

 

“ _Ladies and gentlemen, we've just left our cruising altitude and are starting our descent into Chicago O'Hare. Please, make sure again that your seat belt is still fastened, and switch off all electronic devices for landing. Please, also adjust the backrest of your seat into its upright position, and fold back the table in front of you.”_

I leaned over to look out of the little window to see the lights of Chicago in the distance. Somewhere down there was Edward, at his brother's house, waiting for the new year to begin and thinking I didn't want anything to do with him. It hurt to be so close to him but still so far away.

After reading his letter and seeing the unique present he'd given me, it hadn't taken me long to decide to go to him and try to make things right. I called the airport as soon as my crying had subsided and I was able to speak coherently again.

It wasn't easy to find a free spot on a flight that would reach Chicago in time for New Year's, and it cost me a pretty penny. But that didn't matter. I needed to get there, and if I'd had to max out all my credit cards, I wouldn't have batted an eyelash.

I'd guesstimated that I wouldn't be at Emmett and Rosalie's house before ten, so I was already wearing my party outfit. To sit in an airplane seat for four hours in a tight black dress, thigh highs and heels wasn't comfortable at all, but I wanted to look good for him when he saw me. After all, I knew how much he liked me in heels and stockings.

I checked my purse again for the present I wanted to give Edward before I sat back and waited for the plane to touch down.

“ _Welcome to Chicago, ladies and gentlemen. Please remain seated with your seat belt fastened until we have reached the final parking position and the fasten-seat-belt signs have been switched off. Captain Henderson and the entire crew would like to say good-night to you now. Thank you very much for having chosen Alaskan Airlines for your flight. Have a safe onward trip and a happy new year. Until next time, and goodbye.”_

It took unbelievably long from touchdown until the plane finally stopped. As soon as the doors opened, I pushed my way out of my row, elbowing fellow passengers out of the way, and rushed into the airport building. It seemed to take forever at luggage claim until the first bags showed up on the baggage carousel. I nervously shifted my weight from one foot to the other until, finally, my dark-red suitcase came into sight. I pulled it off as soon as I could reach it and stormed out of the building toward the first cab in line, jumping the people standing there, waiting.

After telling the driver Emmett's address, there was nothing left for me to do other than to wait.

It took us about half-an-hour until the car pulled up in front of a white house in a nice neighborhood. The house was upper-middle-class but not too big or flashy.

Standing on the sidewalk watching the cab drive off, I realized that my knees were wobbly. I hadn't really made a plan for how to go about this. Steeling myself for whatever would be awaiting me, I walked toward the house, climbed the few steps and rang the doorbell.

The music that came from inside the house was really loud. After waiting a few minutes, I rang the bell again, but I wasn't actually expecting anyone to hear me. When another minute had passed, a tall redheaded woman noticed me when she walked through the hall with a drink in her hand.

“Hi, come in,” she greeted me friendly as she opened the door for me.

“Thanks. Hello, I'm Bella,” I answered as I stepped into the hall, cautiously taking a look around. To my right opened a spacious living room that was full of people. I thought about asking the woman in front of me about Edward when, from the middle of the crowd, Emmett hurried my way.

“Bella! Thank God, you came,” he said when he caught me in a tight hug. “You don't know how relieved I am to see you. Thanks, Vicky, for letting her in.”

“No problem,” she replied, smiling as she walked away.

When Emmett released me, I took a step back so that I could look up into his face. “Hi, Emmett.” I didn't know what else to say. I was feeling awkward and out of place while my desire to see Edward grew exponentially.

Emmett must have interpreted my body language correctly, because he nodded with understanding.

“He went over to our parents' a while ago,” Emmett informed me while he took my luggage from me. He led me through the crowd to the French doors on the far side of the living room. “You see the path there?” He was pointing at a little paved path that led away from the house into the darkness. “If you follow it for a few hundred feet, you'll reach the house. Don't be afraid, the path is lit the whole way.” He opened one of the doors and gently pushed me out on the patio. “I'll see you later, Bella.”

Confused and unsure, I stood there for a moment, thinking about what to do next. Emmett was inside, watching me while he gestured for me to go. I turned away from the house and started my way down the long path through the dark yard.

It took about a minute until I couldn't see Emmett's house anymore, and I couldn't yet see his parents' house. Another minute later, I passed a few trees, and all of a sudden, a big white house with giant windows appeared in front of me. No, not a house. It was more like a mansion. I'd guessed that Edward's parents were quite well off, but I hadn't been aware that they were  _that_ rich.

When I was close enough to peer inside the big family room, which was only dimly lit by a few table lamps, I noticed a man in a gray suit sitting on the bench in front of a black grand piano. His head was in his hands, and a tumbler filled with some amber-colored liquid was sitting on the piano top. My heart started to beat faster because it was unmistakably Edward's form sitting there with his back to the window. 

There were only a few feet left between me and the patio when Edward started to play a sad sweet tune. I knew he'd learned to play the piano as a kid, but I hadn't known he was still so good at it. The melody was embedded in thick, lovely harmonies. He didn't need to play more than a few notes before I recognized the song. It was “They Remind Me Too Much of You” by Elvis Presley, from the movie  _It Happened at the World's Fair_ . We'd watched it together a few weeks ago, and I was sure he was thinking of that night while he played the song.

My heart started to ache terribly when he began to sing the lyrics to the love song. I'd never heard him sing anywhere other than in the shower, but right now, his voice was the most wonderful sound I'd ever heard.

 

_Take away the scent of flowers,_

_cover up the sky of blue,_

_close my ear to tender love songs,_

_they remind me too much of you._

 

He was singing what I'd been feeling for the past weeks. Every one of his words struck a chord with me, and I was drawn to move closer to the open glass door.

 

_Hide young lovers' warm embraces,_

_keep stars and moonlight from my view._

_Let me forget there are such places,_

_They remind me too much of you._

 

He was swaying slightly to the rhythm of the song, but his movements looked tired and resigned. Part of me wanted to walk over to him to take him in my arms, while another part kept me from stepping into the room and potentially disturbing him in his singing and playing.

 

_Must I evermore be haunted,_

_day after day my whole life through_

_by the memory of each moment_

_that I spent alone with you?_

 

I could hear the pain in his voice. Just like me, he was feeling every one of the lyrics. I took my shoes off and held them in my hands so that I could step into the house without making any noise.

 

_If these lovely things don't hurt you_

_our love just wasn't meant to be._

_But please come back to me, my darling,_

_if they remind you too much of me._

 

He played the last few notes, and when the piano went silent, I couldn't keep quiet any longer. “They do.” My voice was just above a whisper, but Edward's back straightened, and for a second, he was still as a statue.

“What…?” he mumbled, his head still turned away from me.

“They remind me too much of you,” I repeated with my gaze steady on his back.

I stood there, shoes in my hand, watching as Edward slowly turned around to look at me. “Bella. You're really here. I'm not dreaming.” He stood and started to walk toward me. At the same time, I rushed to meet him in the middle.

He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, crushing me against his chest as I clutched him closely. My tears were streaming down uncontrollably, soaking his white shirt.

“You're here. You're really here.” Edward's arms were holding me so close that I had trouble breathing. But I didn't mind. I needed to feel him as close as possible. “You weren't at the airport. I thought I'd lost you for good.” His voice broke with the emotion it conveyed.

I dropped my shoes to snake my arms around his waist. “I didn't know. I didn't know until yesterday. I came as soon as possible after I read your letter.” I wasn't sure he heard me because, by then, I was sobbing into his chest. Relief as well as regret made it impossible for me to speak clearly.

“I'm so sorry, baby. I'm sorry that I hurt you, that I didn't believe in you.” His cheek was touching my hair, and I could feel wetness saturating my hair.

Edward's warmth, his arms around me were so familiar. I felt at home right there. No one had ever made me feel so precious and cared for. 

I pushed him away, just far enough for my hands to grip the lapels of his jacket so that I could rise on my tiptoes and pull him down to crush my lips to his. After a stunned second, his mouth started to move, and our tongues met in a desperate attempt to devour the other. It was as if we were trying to fuse with each other, to make up for lost time — to forget the hurt and pain of the last few weeks. We moaned into each other's mouths. Our teeth crashed as neither of us was able to control the intensity of our kiss.

Edward's hands were everywhere — on my back, my neck, my ass — while mine held the hair at the back of his neck in an iron grip. He ripped my coat down, letting my purse drop to the floor, and threw it to the side before he found the zipper of my dress. 

That's when I noticed that we were moving. Without a moment of doubt, I let Edward hustle me through the room. I opened my eyes when we stopped at the foot of a staircase, just as my dress was pulled from my shoulders. Black feral eyes scanned my body that was now clad only in lacy black lingerie and black thigh highs. “You're so fucking beautiful that it hurts,” Edward whispered before his lips attacked mine again, and I started up the stairs, stumbling backwards. 

While we were ascending the staircase, I tore his jacket from him and dumped it on the floor, just a few feet away from where my dress was lying. My fingers began to fumble around his shirt buttons, but I was too impatient to undo them. So, in one quick tear, I ripped it open, sending the buttons flying. 

Edward growled deep in his chest and pushed me up against a wall when, in that moment, we reached a hall at the top of the stairs. He shrugged out of his shirt and attacked my neck with his teeth, lips and tongue.

Without a conscious command, my leg rose and Edward hitched it around his hip as he ground his erection into my soaked panties. I almost cried out at the intensity of the sensations. It was so good to feel how much he wanted me, still, after everything that had happened. Skilled fingers undid the hooks of my bra and stripped it off me before I felt teeth tugging at my nipple, and I whimpered in ecstasy. Just when I was about to explode, his mouth captured mine again as his hands lifted me up, wrapping my legs around his waist to carry me to the right, a few feet down the hall, and into a room. After kicking the door shut with a loud bang, he crossed the room and set me down on the bed.

Edward kicked his shoes off and unbuckled his belt, shedding his pants and socks in a hurry, while I reveled in the sight of his almost-naked body. His eyes never left mine, keeping me immobile with the intensity of his gaze. Like a lion carefully approaching a lamb, Edward stalked over to me and climbed on the mattress, running his hands up my legs, taking my stockings off. When his fingers glided over my skin again, they ran further up and over my hips. His thumbs hooked into the waistband of my panties and pulled them down. 

“I've missed you so much,” said his husky voice as his head dove between my legs without warning, lapping at my leaking center. He moaned at the taste of me, and my hands clutched the sheets to keep me grounded. Edward was wildly kissing my folds, pushing his fingers into me as he sucked my clit hard into his mouth. 

“Oh my God!” I cried out when my climax hit at once. “Oh fuck!”

While I was catching my breath, Edward removed his boxer briefs and climbed up my body. He rested his weight on one of his hands while the other one reached out toward the nightstand. I locked my eyes with his, shaking my head vigorously. “No,” I said, quietly but determinedly. My hand reached out to meet his, entwining our fingers as I pulled it back down onto the bed.

Edward's brows raised slightly, his eyes wide. “You're sure?” he asked insecurely.

I nodded my head, holding his gaze. “Just you and me. I want you, just you, all of you.” My voice was hoarse but steady. I had never been so sure in my whole life.

Edward let out a tortured groan. “It's been too long. I won't be able to be gentle.”

“There's enough time for that later,” I replied as I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling his tip close to my entrance.

Green eyes burned into brown ones when his free hand took mine and brought both sets of entwined hands up to rest them above my head. I could feel the strain in him as he tried to hold himself back from plunging into me.

Edward lowered his head, touching his lips to mine tenderly, as I felt his swollen cock easing its way into my aching heat. I let out a loud moan at the feeling of fulfillment that washed over me. Although I knew that there wasn't supposed to be anything different, there were a myriad of new sensations. Edward inside me with nothing separating us was almost too much. It was erotic, sensual and incredibly intimate. We were together, just him and me, all disguises dropped and no protective walls left.

It seemed like forever before he started to move. I could feel how hard it was for him to rock his hips gently for a few times before his movements became harder and faster with each thrust.

“Oh, baby, you have no idea how good you feel. I can't ever get enough of you,” he choked out. 

His mouth had moved to my neck, biting and sucking the sensitive skin. His hands let go of mine, and instead, he propped himself up on one elbow while the other hand moved to dive under my knee, bringing it up to my chest, which granted him deeper access.

I cried out when he started to pump into me with wild abandon, hitting my g-spot with every intrusion. Our skin was covered with sweat, and both our breathing was ragged when Edward quickly pushed me further toward the edge. I held onto his shoulders for dear life, when all of a sudden, I tumbled into the abyss. I felt my body tremble, and the muscles in my center contracted, trying to pull Edward even closer and hold him to me. I was out of control, screaming and thrashing around. I felt Edward all around me, filling my nose with his enticing scent, my ears with his strangled moans and my heart with such love that I felt like I was going to burst.

Instead of coming down from my high, I hit a whole new level of orgasm when, somewhere in the fog around me, I felt Edward coming, his cock jerking, pumping his warm seed deep into me.

When I slowly came to, I noticed that my cheeks were wet, and I felt a sob stuck in my throat that was struggling to get out.

Without moving the lower half of his body, Edward pushed himself up to look into my eyes.

“Baby, what's the matter? Are you okay?” His voice was thick with strain and worry.

He was so utterly beautiful. I just smiled at him through my tears, running my fingers through his wildly tousled hair. “I love you,” I whispered, and the tears just ran down my face and into my hair. The relief that I felt at finally getting the words out was immense. “I love you so much.” I almost couldn't stop saying it again and again.

Edward's eyes lit up and he smiled brightly before he crashed his mouth to mine with incredible passion. When he pulled away, he looked at me, his expression very serious.

“I love you, too. I've loved you from the moment you stepped into the dark corner at Alice and Jasper's party.” He rested his forehead against mine, giving me a minute to process his words. “I wanted to tell you so many times, but I was afraid I would scare you away. I tried to be patient and subtle, to give you time to learn to love me, too.” He wiped my tears away, but the attempt was futile. There were so many more where those had come from. Carefully, he pulled out of me, both of us moaning at the sudden feeling of loss, and rolled onto his back. 

He pulled me with him, making me snuggle into his side, while I laid my head on his chest. Over the past months, I had come to love this position, and over the last few weeks, it was what I'd missed the most.

“When you talked to me the night before Thanksgiving, I was sure we had come so far. You let me hold your hand and didn't push me away when I came close. I should have talked to you then. But I was an idiot, thinking you had to be the one to speak up first. I was so afraid to push you too far too soon that I pushed you away when Jacob showed up. I was so jealous and mad at the guy who hurt you like that that I wasn't able to see you only wanted him to be your friend.” He was talking quietly and soothingly while his hands caressed my arm and back. 

“Then I saw him kissing you and made stupid assumptions. Tanya must have fucked with my head so much that I wasn't able to see anything other than you cheating on me, even though we weren't officially together.” I could hear that it was hard for him to speak but I felt that he needed to get it all off his chest before we could move on.

“When I said all those bad things to you at the party, it wasn't because that's what I was thinking but because I knew it would hurt you just like I thought you'd hurt me. I never believed those words. Not for a second.” He put one hand under my chin, tilting my face to make sure I'd look at him. “You're everything to me, baby. Without you, I feel like I can't breathe. I need you so much. I've been praying that you can forgive me some time.” The words were pleading as his hands stilled on my skin.

“I made mistakes, too,” I started, feeling the need to stop him from blaming himself further. I spoke softly but with determination. I needed to explain some things as well. “I was so used to being alone and hiding from emotions that I didn't realize that you were different from the other men. I shouldn't have pushed you away for so long when all you were trying to do was love me. Please, forgive me for hurting you over and over again. And then, the thing with Jake, I was so stupid.” 

Another round of violent sobs started to shake me, and Edward began to soothingly stroke my arm and back again. “Shhh, shhh. It's okay, baby. That's all in the past. I won't ever let you go again. You're mine now.”

Edward's words were like a balm spread on my sore soul. His arms around me assured me again that he would hold on to me, come what may. I was his, and it felt unbelievably good.

We were silent for a while, and at some point, my tears subsided. I wiped my face and just reveled in the feeling of happiness I experienced now that I was close to Edward again. Our hands just lovingly caressed each other's skin.

After a while, I started to playfully run my fingers around Edward's nipple. It didn't take long for the little bud to pebble, and at the same time, I felt another part of his body stir close to my leg.

I didn't waste any time climbing on top of him, straddling his hips. My wet center was positioned right over Edward's straining erection. Cocking a brow, he propped himself up on his elbows, his eyes locked with mine. “What are you doing?” he asked in a half-playful, half-confused tone.

I felt my eyes darken when I answered, “I want to make love to you.” A deep groan rumbled deep in his chest when I lifted my hips and closed my fingers around his cock to line him up with my entrance. With our eyes locked, I slowly sank down, impaling myself to the hilt, unable to bite back the moan from being connected like that.

After a moment of adjusting to the feeling of fullness, I started to move my hips up and down at an almost painfully slow pace. Edward sat up and wrapped his arm around my waist to hold me close to him. In that position, he had to slightly look up at my face, and while I continued to rise and fall, his lips met mine in a tender yet passionate kiss.

We clung to each other, our chests rubbing against each other, as we unhurriedly consummated the commitment we had just made. With the words of love we'd spoken to each other not long before still fresh in our memory, we reveled in the feeling of finally being able to freely pour all of ourselves into our connection.

Slowly but steadily, our movements became more intense, the warmth of our panted breaths burning hot on our flushed, sweaty skin. When I felt like I couldn't take it any longer, about to break from the depth of emotion as my clit constantly rubbed over Edward's pubic hair, I suddenly screamed into his neck when I felt myself spiral out of control. At the same moment, Edward took in a deep breath before he started to curse through his release. “Fuck, fuck, fuck! Oh baby, I love you.”

I held on to him until I was able to hold myself up enough to pull my head away from the crook of his neck and look him in the eye. He'd never been more beautiful than in that moment with wild hair, flushed skin and beads of sweat on his forehead and above his lip. His sparkling green eyes held mine as a brilliant smile lit up his face.

“Happy New Year, baby,” he said before he crushed his lips to mine.

“Happy New Year,” I mumbled against his mouth, and we both crashed down to the bed, vibrating with laughter.

“If it continues the way it started, it definitely will be. What a way to welcome the new year.” I had never seen Edward as happy and carefree as he seemed to be in that moment. 

I rolled off of him, sighing when his now-flaccid cock slipped out of me with a gush of our mixed juices. I giggled when he reached out to the nightstand and came back with a few tissues to temporarily clean us both up.

“Let's make this a tradition, okay?” I suggested as I snuggled into his side, resting my head on his chest.

Over a heavy yawn, Edward answered, “Sure. We'll never do anything else for New Year's again.”

I couldn't stifle my own yawn, and Edward chuckled at the noise. “You're tired, love?” His fingers were toying with one of my locks.

“It's been a long couple of days,” I admitted as I moved closer to him upon feeling a sudden pang of regret.

“Yeah. I feel like I haven't slept for weeks.” He sat up and pulled the covers over us. “Let's sleep, my love. I won't let you go tonight.” His arms pulled me flush against him, and enwrapped in his warmth, I fell asleep immediately.

 

********POMH********

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I have to thank a very dear friend who's a flight attendant for Lufthansa for providing me with the correct announcements for the flight. Illabilla, I love you!  
> Now, how did you like it? Are you happy, Bella and Edward are back together? And what a hot reunion it was. For all of you who wonder what might be left to tell now, here's a teaser:
> 
> … “I don't know about last night,” Carlisle started, laughing lightly. “But I can tell you that the water in Edward's bathroom ran for a very long time this morning. And every time I passed by the door, I heard some really strange noises coming from within.” … 
> 
> Yeah, Bella's going to meet Edward's parents. How do you think that'll go? I'll tell you that it'll be fun.  
> For all of you, who wonder what the Elvis song sounds like, you should look it up on youtube or click on the link in my FB group Payton79's Fanfiction. It's a very lovely song.  
> The next update will be Friday with the last regular chapter *sniff* but there are at least three chapters of epilogue left before this story is over. Please, leave me your thoughts here or on FB.  
> See you Friday!


	37. Chapter 33 - A New Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi and happy weekend! So this is finally the last regular chapter. I can't believe we've made it this far. Thanks to all of you who supported me with their reviews or by just reading this. But, before you all think this is it, I want to remind you that there's still a three-part epilogue to come. More about that after the chapter.  
> Again, I have to thank my betas EdardsMate4ever and evelyn-shaye for being the incredible editors that they are. You're great. I also want to thank my pre-readers Vampgirl79 and LaPumuckl for their help and support. I love you.  
> Now, on to the chapter. Enjoy.
> 
> Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine.

 

Chapter 33 – A New Beginning

 

I woke up lying on my side with a pillow in my arms, while Edward placed feather-light kisses on my neck and down my back. I felt my lips curl up in a contented smile and couldn't hold back the moan of happiness. Two days ago, I'd never thought this would ever happen again. Waking up in Edward's arm like that was like a dream come true.

“Good morning, baby. Did you sleep well?” he purred, kissing his way up from the small of my back.

I sighed as I opened my eyes to see that daylight was already lighting up the room. “Like the dead. What time is it? Have you been up for long?”

I giggled when, in response, Edward pressed his morning wood against my ass. “It's nine in the morning. I've been  _up_ for a while now, and it's beginning to feel uncomfortable. I figured you might be willing to help me get comfortable again.” His hips were grinding against my butt as his teeth nibbled on my earlobe.

“I'd love to, but I'm afraid I have to use the bathroom first.” Although I really wanted to stay right where I was, I had some human needs.

Edward groaned in disappointment when I jumped off the bed and looked down at him, sheepishly biting my lip when I realized I was standing in his room, stark naked, with no idea where the bathroom was.

He chuckled when he noticed my predicament. “What's in it for me if I show you the way?” One eyebrow was raised teasingly.

“Hmmm, let me think about that.” I tapped my index finger against my lip in contemplation. When I had an idea, I wiggled my brows suggestively. “You could show me how the shower works.”

Edward smiled challengingly when he pointed to a door and answered, “Deal. My bathroom's through that door.”

“Great. Join me in five.” I turned around and sprinted out of the room.

After doing my business, I stood at the sink, looking at my reflection in the mirror. At first, I didn't recognize the woman looking back at me. She was glowing, with bright eyes and slightly swollen red lips. I smiled at myself when I realized that it was all Edward who made me look that happy.

My eyes wandered to the delicate gold chain around my neck and the locket dangling from it when the door opened, and Edward walked inside. He stopped right behind me, pressing his bare front against my naked back, his erection still very prominent. He wrapped his arms around my waist as his eyes met mine in the mirror. My hand moved up and touched the golden pendant he'd given me.

“How did you do it?” I asked with wonder.

His eyes didn't leave mine. “How did I do what?”

I turned around to really look him in the eye. “The locket. How did you find it?”

He smiled a little as his finger stroked over the gold and the gemstones. “I called Sue right after Thanksgiving, and she sent me a picture of it. I contacted every antique shop in Seattle and Chicago and sent it to them. They promised to use their contacts to try and find what I was looking for.” His face turned serious when he continued. “One shopkeeper called me the Tuesday after Alice's party, telling me he had found a locket looking just like the one I wanted. A man from England had contacted him after he put his request to buy one in an online forum. I didn't have to think about it and had it air-shipped to Seattle that same day.” His brows furrowed, and a flash of pain crossed his face.

“When you refused to talk to me, the only way to get it to you was giving it to Sue and Charlie. I was ashamed and more than a little scared that your dad would shoot me when he realized that I'd broken the promise I'd made to him. But more than anything, I wanted you to have the locket. Even if you never spoke to me again, I wanted you to have it.”

I reached up and cupped his cheek with my palm. “Thank you. No one has ever given me anything as special as this. It made me realize just how much you love me and that I couldn't stand to be away from you any longer. I booked the flight right after I stopped crying.” A single tear ran down my face, and he wiped it away with the pad of his thumb.

Edward pulled me close to him and, kissing my forehead, he whispered, “I love you, baby. I'd do anything for you.”

We stood there for a long moment, holding each other, until Edward began to chuckle. “Baby, I'm sorry I have to say this, but we stink. Come on, let's take a shower.”

With his words, the spell was broken and, giggling, we moved into the shower where I did my best to help Edward with his  _condition._

 

****POMH****

 

About an hour later, freshly showered and sated for the time being, we left Edward's room. We'd had sex in the shower — twice — and it was great. Since my bag was over at Emmett's house, and the clothes I'd worn the night before were scattered all over the house, Edward had given me a pair of sweat pants, an old college t-shirt, and socks.

“What will your parents think when they see me like this?” I felt my cheeks turn beet-red at the thought of his mom and dad coming home to a house littered with women's clothes and underwear. I was embarrassed of what they might think of me. Would they see me as a slut? A tramp who just invited herself into their house to screw their son? Someone without any morals or proper upbringing? They wouldn't want someone like that to be with Edward.

“They'll think that you made their son a very happy man last night — not to mention this morning. Come on. They don't bite.” He grabbed my hand and dragged me behind him down the stairs, through the big living room with the grand piano, and into an impressive kitchen.

A slender woman with caramel-colored hair, wearing black slacks and a green silk blouse, was bent over the stove. On the side of the room was a big table where a blond man was seated, reading the paper while drinking coffee. Both of them turned to look at us when we stumbled through the doorway.

I was scared to find rejection or annoyance on their faces, but at the sight of Edward holding me to his side, his arm around my waist, they both smiled with an expression of love and acceptance.

“Good morning, you two. Did you have a good night?” the very attractive man greeted with a knowing grin.

“Carlisle, behave,” the woman scolded, playfully hitting his shoulder with her hand when she went to stand behind her husband.

“Bella, these are my parents, Esme and Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Mom, Dad, this is my Bella.”

Edward's words made my heart skip a beat. To hear him call me  _his_ Bella felt so unbelievably good. After a second, I remembered where I was and what was going on. I tried to smile at Edward's parents, but instead, my nervousness made the corners of my mouth twitch uncomfortably. 

“Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, I'm sorry for showing up here unannounced — ” Before I had finished my sentence, Edward's mom had walked the few feet over to us and pulled me into a hug.

“Nonsense, dear. We're happy to have you. Anyone who makes our gloomy son grin like the Cheshire cat is more than welcome in our home. Oh, and call me Esme, honey.” She released me and grabbed my hands as her dark brown eyes sparkled at me.

I swallowed before I could answer. “Thank you, Mrs. — Esme. I don't know what to say.”

Dr. Cullen stood next to his wife with his left arm around her waist, extending his right hand to me. “I'm Carlisle. Nice to finally meet you. We're so glad you came and pulled Edward out of his funk.” His words were said in a teasing tone, but his eyes showed me just how worried they'd been by their son's recent mood.

I shook his hand and noticed his expression lighten up. “Nice to meet you, too. You have a wonderful home.”

Before I could say more, a boisterous laugh sounded from behind us. “Knowing you two, I'm sure you haven't seen much apart from Ed's bedroom.” Emmett hit Edward's shoulder when he passed us while entering the kitchen. “Morning, bro, Bella. And Happy New Year. Hard night, huh?” He chuckled as he greeted his parents, wishing them a Happy New Year, too. “Oh, and Bella, I brought your suitcase. You look like you need it.” He grinned with amusement as his eyes scanned me from head to toe, recognizing his brother's clothes.

“Uhm, thanks. Maybe I should go —”

I was cut off by a woman's angry shout. “Emmett McCarty Cullen! Can't you at least wait for me to put some shoes on before you storm off?” A beautiful, tall, blonde woman with furiously twinkling blue eyes stormed into the kitchen and stopped right in front of Emmett, glaring at him.

“Sorry, baby. I had to bring Bella here her luggage. Look at the poor girl, wearing Eddie boy's ugly old clothes.” He gestured toward me, and the blonde amazon whirled around to look at me.

“So, you're the enchantress who finally got Edward to pull his head out of his ass. I don't get why you forgave him for being such an idiot to you, but I'm glad you did.” Her hard stare turned into a sisterly smile. “I'm Rosalie, by the way, or Rose. Nice to meet you.” She captured me in an unexpected hug, and that gesture finally made me relax.

“Now that you're all here, sit down, and we'll have a late breakfast together.” Esme waved us over to sit down at the table.

I stood a little insecurely while watching Carlisle, Emmett and Rosalie take their seats. Edward started toward the table, too, tugging at my hand to make me follow him.

“Can I help you with anything, Esme?” I asked, feeling uncomfortable letting her serve us all while we just sat and waited.

“Oh no, dear. Just sit down. Carlisle will set the table.” She raised her brow, looking at her husband, who reluctantly got up and took plates and silverware out of the kitchen cabinets.

A few minutes later, the table was all set. I couldn't believe the variety of food Edward's mom had prepared. There were pancakes, waffles, scrambled eggs, toast and even omelets.

“Wow, Esme. This looks great. But I don't think we'll eat all of that.” I sighed, watching everyone around the table putting food on their plates.

Emmett chuckled wickedly as he built a mountain of scrambled eggs in front of him. “I'm sure  _you_ two worked up enough of an appetite last night.” His eyes were sparkling with mischief until Rosalie hit his arm to shut him up.

“I don't know about last night,” Carlisle started, laughing lightly. “But I can tell you that the water in Edward's bathroom ran for a _very_ long time this morning. And every time I passed by the door, I heard some really strange noises coming from within.” He smiled a lopsided smile at his younger son, daring him to comment on his words.

I felt my cheeks turning bright red. My eyes moved to the food in front of me while waiting for Edward to say something.

“Well, Dad, if I remember it correctly, you taught us to never kiss and tell, right?” He took my hand and raised it to his lips to lovingly kiss my palm.

“You wanna know about last night, Dad? I came here some time after Bella went over. Just to make sure everything was alright, of course.” Emmett tried to sound innocent, but I already knew him better than that. “When I couldn't find anyone down here, and there were clothes strewn all over the room, I was worried. So I followed the trail of garments up the stairs. On the landing, I almost broke my neck when I tripped on the buttons on the floor. Then I heard those noises, you know, loud moaning and such. I thought someone was in pain, and I wanted to go in.” He winked at me, and as if someone had given us a silent signal, Edward and I both lunged across the table and each punched him in one of his shoulders.

That had the whole table laughing and Emmett whimpering in mock pain. “Wow, Edward, you have a feisty one there. That was a serious left hook. You should work hard to stay on her good side.”

Edward looked deeply into my eyes when he answered, “I promise, I will.”

 

****POMH****

 

The rest of the meal was nice and comfortable. The atmosphere was cheerful and happy when everyone told stories about the party the night before. Edward's family seemed to accept me as part of their circle without any difficulty.

Time flew by, and before we knew it, we had to get ready to leave for our flight back to Seattle. Somehow, Edward had managed to book me a seat on the plane he was taking home that night.

Changed into some comfy jeans, a sweater and my Chucks for traveling, I was sad to say goodbye to Edward's parents after only one day with them. They'd been so warm and welcoming, and I really hoped to spend more time with them soon.

We were just about to get our coats and leave when the doorbell rang. Carlisle went to open while we gathered our things, sure that our taxi had arrived. A second later, Alice hastened into the room, grabbing me and clutching me to her.

“Bella, honey, I was so worried. I called your cell at least a hundred times, but it went straight to voice mail. When I called your home, I only got the answering machine. I thought you were sick or dead or something.” My best friend was talking a mile a minute while I was struggling for breath. “I'm so glad you're here, and that you made up with Edward. That's so great. I need to tell you something, too.” She pulled away and shoved her left hand into my face. My eyes needed a moment to adjust and focus on the diamond ring on her third finger. “Jazzy proposed last night. We're getting married, yay!”

This time, it was my turn to pull her into my arms. “Congratulations! I'm so happy for you.”

I let go of her and walked over to embrace her fiancé, who had entered the room after her. “Jazz, congratulations to you, too. Wow, it was about time.”

He chuckled, telling me, “That's just what Ali said right after shouting 'yes' about a hundred times.”

“I already expected something like that when you didn't show up at the party last night,” Rosalie stated while hugging her brother to congratulate him. “Where did you go, anyway?”

Of course, Alice didn't give Jasper the chance to answer the question. “It was all so wonderful. He took me to this restaurant on the shore overlooking the lake. We had a whole room to ourselves. He had pre-ordered all my favorite food. My favorite music was playing and we danced a lot. Then, when the dessert was served, the plates were covered by those silver steel domes. When mine was lifted, there was a blue velvet box instead of the chocolate cake I'd expected. I looked up and Jazzy was on his knee, asking me to marry him.”

Alice snaked her arms around Jasper's waist and pulled herself into his side as all the women in the room sighed because of the romantic proposal. The men looked at Jasper with various expressions. Emmett nodded his head in approval, Carlisle smiled warmly and Edward looked at the two of them with a wistful gleam in his eyes.

Esme poured eight glasses of champagne, and we drank to the future, all of ours, before we eventually had to leave for the airport.

 

****POMH****

 

“I haven't told you about my New Year's resolution, yet,” Edward whispered into my ear, his lips lightly grazing the shell.

We were on our flight home, cuddling as well as we could in the narrow seats with people around us watching.

“Hmm, sounds interesting. So, what do you want to do this year?” I hummed the words out, reveling in the butterfly kisses Edward peppered along my clavicle.

“I'm planning on doing some scientific research. I'm going to explore every inch of your body, get to know you like the back of my hand.” He let his tongue trail up my sensitive skin to reach my ear, setting my skin on fire. “I want to memorize the way you shiver when I do this — ” He sucked on the skin right behind my earlobe, chuckling lightly when a shudder ran down my spine. “ — the way you moan when I bite your earlobe — ” No matter how much I wanted to prove him wrong, I couldn't hold back the noises of arousal. “ — and I want to watch your eyes roll back into your head every time I make you come. And I'm planning on doing that a lot.” His warm breath on my skin and the promise in his words almost made me orgasm on the spot. “Just wait until I get you into my bed. I'll make sure you'll never want to leave again.” Edward stopped his ministrations when the captain announced we'd soon be leaving cruising altitude to start our approach to SeaTac. He grinned at me, taking my hand in his.

That's when I remembered. “Uhm, I have a little something for you,” I told Edward, worrying my bottom lip with my teeth. 

“You have something for me? What is it?” he asked, his eyes bright with anticipation. 

I lifted my purse from the floor, placed it in my lap and pulled out the flat rectangular present. I hadn't had the chance to give it to him earlier since I'd left my bag in his parents' living room overnight.

Insecurely, I handed it over to Edward. “It's not as special as what you gave me, but I made it myself,” I explained. 

“Every gift from you is special, baby.” He kissed my lips tenderly, then began to unwrap it.

A minute later, he looked at the framed collage I'd made with pictures of him and me. I'd worked on it the week Edward had spent in New Orleans. In the center was a photo of the two of us gazing lovingly into each other's eyes. Alice had taken it with her phone one night when we were out together. Along the edges were small close-ups from our sexy photo shoot of us kissing or looking at each other.

“This is great,” Edward said, smiling brightly at me. 

I grinned back at him. “It's only a miniature. The real thing was too big to take with me.”

“Wow! So I have one for my desk at work and one to hang on the wall at home. Thank you, baby. I love it.” He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to kiss me deeply.

Before it could turn into a heated lip-lock, we broke apart. Edward looked at his present again and his brows furrowed when he noticed an envelope on the back of the metal frame. I nodded, prompting him to open it. After lifting the flap, he pulled out a piece of paper and studied it.

“What's that?” he asked, turning it around. 

The corners of my mouth lifted as I looked at my design. It was little dark red heart. But it wasn't just a heart: it was a puzzle, missing a piece right in the center. 

“The engraving on the locket and your letter inspired it. It's the design for a tattoo I want to get. 

This is me.” I moved my finger around the outlines of the heart. “I'm just not complete without you.” I explained, pointing at the empty spot in the middle. 

“I'm the missing piece?” He chuckled lightly. “Then I'll have that tattooed on me. So we're whole when we're together.”

Edward touched his lips to mine, but pulled back, looking at me quizzically. “Where do you want it, anyway?” he asked, intrigued.

“Somewhere only you will ever see it,” I told him mysteriously, smiling to myself.

“You can show me later — in my bed — for hours,” he stated and winked at me.

I rested my head against the headrest, smiling to myself. Yes, we had a lot of time later, a whole lifetime if I had it my way.

It was hard to believe how much my life had changed in only a few months — since the night I met a green-eyed stranger in a dark corner at a party. Edward had changed it completely, and me along with it. With incredible patience, love and understanding, he'd shown me that I could open myself up and love again.

For the first time ever, I felt safe and was actually looking forward to the future. I couldn't wait to explore all the new possibilities a life with Edward held. I wasn't afraid of anything fate could throw our way because, from now on, I wouldn't be alone. We would face everything life had in store for us together — the good, the bad and the unexpected. And I couldn't wait to start.

 

********POMH********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the lovebirds are back together and everything's right in the world again ;). I hope you like where I took the story.   
> I have to thank my dear friend LaPumuckl very much for helping me finding the right present for Bella to give to Edward. She inspired the collage and also the tattoo idea.  
> Yes, this was the last chapter but it's not yet the end of the story. There are still three chapters of epilogue left. I think you all want to know where Bella and Edward go from here. I promise to tell you a bit about that.  
> From here, I'm going back to my weekly updates. The angst is over, and I'm still not done with the last part of the epi. So, the next update will be next Friday. Until then, leave me your thoughts here or on FB in the group Payton79's Fanfiction.  
> See you Friday.


	38. Epilogue - Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my beloved readers. Welcome to the first part of the epilogue. I'm glad you're all back to learn what happened to Edward and Bella after they reunited and returned to Seattle. I'm sure, there are a few things in here you expected, but I also hope that I came up with a few that will surprise you.
> 
> Again, I have to thank my wonderful betas **evelyn-shaye** and **EdwardsMate4ever**. I'm so glad I found you ladies because I can't imagine anyone better than you. I also want to shout out a loud “Thank you” to my pre-readers **Vampgirl79** and **LaPumuckl**. I would never have gotten through this story without your great help and wonderful friendship.
> 
> So, let's see what our favorite couple is doing. Enjoy! See you at the bottom.  
>  **Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight. Thank you, SM, for letting us play with your wonderful characters.  
> 

 

Epilogue – Part I

 

Looking back, the best thing I'd ever done was take the leap of faith in flying out to Chicago and telling Edward how I felt. Almost everything in my life had changed from that day forward.

Eleven months later, we were in the Chicago area again. Alice and Jasper's wedding was a week away, and Edward and I had both cleared our schedules to take some time off together. He'd suggested we fly to Illinois early and relax at a small but nonetheless luxurious hotel in the middle of nowhere for a few days while he showed me around where he grew up.

I was awakened by hands roaming my body while something very long and hard was pressed into my back. A smile formed on my lips before I even opened my eyes. That was the best way to wake up, and I was incredibly grateful to wake up in Edward's arms every morning.

Things had moved forward very quickly once we'd returned to Seattle on New Year's Day. Six weeks later, on Valentine's Day, Edward had asked me to officially move in with him after I'd practically been living at his place since we came back. I couldn't keep my mind from going back to the wonderful evening on February 14 th … 

 

… _We were sitting at a small table in a romantic little restaurant on the shore. Edward had told me to dress nicely, so I was wearing a deep blue wrap-around dress with thigh-highs and black heels. Edward was sitting next to me, dressed in a stunning light gray suit with a white shirt and a tie that exactly matched the color of my dress._

_After our main course, he reached into his jacket and pulled out a four by four inch square black box. It looked like a gift box for jewelry._

“ _Edward, no. You already gave me roses and chocolates this morning. This is too much,” I objected when he took my hand and placed the box in my palm._

_He shook his head with a smile on his lips. “It's not what you think it is. And it's not just for you.” My brows furrowed in bewilderment and Edward began to chuckle. “Just open it.”_

_I steeled myself for whatever expensive piece of jewelry he might have bought me and pushed the button to lift the lid. Opening the box, instead of a necklace or whatever I'd been dreading to find, there was a little brass plate inside, engraved with two names._

_**I. Swan / E. Cullen** _

_I lifted my eyes, meeting Edward's sparkling gaze. Confused, I looked down at my present again, inspecting it a little closer. I knew I'd seen plates like that before, but I just couldn't remember where. Intrigued, I let my finger brush over the elegant script. All of a sudden, it hit me. I'd been looking at plates like that every day for the past six weeks, as there was one of them on each mail box in the long row of boxes in the lobby of Edward's building._

“ _What — ” I had to clear my throat as my eyes met Edward's emerald orbs again. “What's this supposed to mean?”_

“ _Baby, it means that I want to ask you to officially move in with me. I want you to live with me. I want to go to bed with you every night and to wake up with you every morning. I love you, and I don't want to waste even one more day that I could be spending with you.” He'd taken both my hands in his, and his thumbs were rubbing circles on the back of mine. His expression was so full of emotion that my eyes filled with tears._

_I could see that he was more cautious when he continued, probably afraid to scare me away. “You've more or less been staying with me since New Year's, and if you want to, if it makes you feel more secure or independent, you can keep your apartment and sublet it — ”_

_I put my hand over his mouth to stop him. “No.” I watched his face fall, so I hurried to go on. “No, I don't want to keep my apartment. I want to live with you, and I want to do this right. I don't need my apartment as a back-up just in case, because I know I won't need it. I want to be with you, every day and every night.” I couldn't get another word out, because right then, Edward pulled me toward him, leaning over the table, and crushed his lips to mine. We only stopped kissing when the waiter cleared his throat._

_Instead of ordering dessert, Edward asked for the check, and we hurried home to christen every available surface in our home._ Our _home._

_One week later, we cleared out my apartment and attached the little brass plate with both our names on it to the mail box we would share from then on. …_

 

“What are you thinking about, baby?” Edward purred into my ear. “I can tell you're somewhere far, far away. Let's see if I can call you back to the here and now.”

With that, he slowly slid himself into my already wet center.

 

****POMH****

 

About an hour later, satisfied, freshly showered and starving, I walked into our suite's main room where Edward was already setting breakfast on the table. Just like the morning before, he'd ordered one piece of every breakfast dish room service offered. He seemed determined to pamper me thoroughly these few days of our vacation.

“Hmmm, that looks delicious,” I greeted him with a kiss on the cheek before I sat down on the chair he'd pulled out for me. 

“For you, the best is just enough, baby,” he answered, sitting down across from me.

Feeling famished, I dug into my scrambled eggs with enthusiasm. Edward watched me, chuckling quietly, before he started on his pancakes.

 

****POMH****

 

It was a very sunny morning and extremely warm for early November. We'd arrived two days ago and Edward had already shown me where his parents grew up and where he used to visit his grandparents. I was impressed by the sizes of the estates the Platts as well as the Cullens had owned. Both had been sold after the grandparents died.

That morning, we drove in our rental car on a small country road to some place Edward insisted I needed to see. He seemed quite nervous, which was totally out of character for him. When I called him on it, he brushed it off, saying I was imagining things. I knew I wasn't, but I let it go.

As we passed through several little towns, I contemplated what was ahead of us with the wedding the next week. On Tuesday, we'd leave our hide-out and return to real life. On the one hand, I was sad, knowing I'd have to share Edward with the rest of the world again. On the other hand, I was kind of excited to visit his family. A month ago, there had been an addition to the Cullen family when Rosalie gave birth to her and Emmett's first child. Little Henry was a cute, chubby guy who seemed to not only have inherited his father's dark curls, but also his sunny disposition. Unfortunately, we hadn't had the opportunity to meet him in person yet. But we were set on changing that as soon as we returned to Chicago.

Thinking about the baby had me reminiscing about a conversation Edward and I had about a month ago. … 

 

… _I was sitting on the couch in the living room, staring off into space. I'd been sitting there for a while, trying to read a book I'd started a few days ago, but my thoughts kept returning to my doctor's appointment earlier that afternoon. It had been a regular check up with my gynecologist. Before starting the physical examination, Dr. Taylor had asked me if I had anything in particular to discuss with her. I told her that, over the last few months, I'd suffered from light irregular bleeding and out of turn cramps. She examined me thoroughly and even did a sonogram to make sure that everything was alright._

_When she was done, she told me that my problems were quite usual for women who'd been on the pill for many years, and her best advice would be to abstain from hormonal birth control for a while. She suggested I take a break from the pill for at least three months, and after that, we should reevaluate the situation — see if things got better and decide what form of birth control to proceed with._

_To say I was frustrated was putting it mildly. I'd actually had to work hard to keep from crying. It had taken Edward and me long enough to find each other and get rid of the condoms. The intimacy that came with being with each other like that, not separated by a layer of latex, was something very special for both of us._

_I was contemplating how to tell him that we would have to go back to wrapping it when I heard him unlocking the door._

“ _Hey, baby, I'm home.” He threw his key into the bowl next to the door. “I'm sorry I'm late, but Jasper stopped me on my way out. The poor guy is going nuts with Alice in complete wedding-planner mode.”_

_He chuckled, and I heard him come closer. “This morning, she stormed into his office, throwing a fit over the shade of the rose samples. She said she wanted dusty pink, not Miss Piggy. I swear to you, sometimes I don't know how —” He stopped speaking immediately when he noticed me on the couch with my knees pulled up against my chest and probably an anxious look on my face._

“ _Baby, what is it? Is something wrong?” Edward sat down next to me, and I threw him a sad half-smile. “You had a doctor's appointment, right? Are you sick, baby?” His voice was thick with worry, and his brows were furrowed._

_I was puzzled for a moment before I realized that he probably thought I'd gotten a bad diagnosis. “No, no, I'm okay. That's not it.” I dropped my gaze to my lap, taking a deep breath before telling Edward what happened. “You know, I talked to Dr. Taylor about my bleedings and the cramps. Everything's alright physically, but she suggested taking a break from the pill.”_

_He reached out and lifted my chin to make me look at him. His brows were raised when he asked, “So you're okay? Nothing's physically wrong with you? Then why aren't you happy about that?”_

“ _I am glad that I'm healthy. It's just —” I pulled my lip between my teeth, searching for the right words. “— we'll have to go back to using condoms for three months or so, and I don't like that.” I let out a long breath, relieved that it was out._

_I waited for Edward to say something, but he didn't. Instead, he took my hands in his and stroked them soothingly. For a while, he watched what he was doing before his eyes met mine again._

“ _Baby, have you ever thought about having children?” he asked cautiously._

_I frowned slightly. Of course, we'd been together more than half a year, and we were living together. So it was actually odd that the matter hadn't come up earlier. But why now?_

_Edward seemed calm and composed while I contemplated my answer. “Of course, I have — in theory, I mean.” He nodded lightly, inviting me to go on and elaborate. “I've always known I want children someday, but it's always been more like an abstract idea. You know, without the right guy and so on.” I looked down at our joined hands, afraid to say something wrong. “Since I've known you, I'm sure I want to have_ your _children — someday, when the time is right.”_

_I bit my lip again, waiting for Edward to respond. I had no idea where he was going with his questioning. His voice was soft but sounded happy when he spoke. “I want you to have my children, too. I love you.”_

“ _I love you, too, Edward,” I said, smiling at him, and he smiled back before his expression turned more serious again._

“ _With that being said, would it make that much of a difference if we had those babies sooner rather than later? I mean, the timing is never really perfect.”_

_My jaw dropped in shock at what he was suggesting. “Are you telling me that you want us to try for a baby_ now _?” I couldn't believe it. We hadn't even been together for a whole year._

_His eyes bore into mine. “I'm not saying we have to try to have a baby now. What I'm saying is that, maybe, we could just not try to_ not _have one. I mean, why not let nature run its course? You take a break from the pill, and we'll just see what happens. You know, it's very unlikely to get pregnant during the first few months after taking hormones for as long as you have. When the three months are over and nothing's happened, we'll go back to birth control, if you want to.”_

_Edward's gaze was intense, and although his voice had been light and calm, I could tell that he was silently pleading with me to agree. He wanted that, and he wanted it then, rather than a few years later._

_A wave of emotions washed over me. I was happy he wanted us to make an even bigger commitment. I was bewildered and a little shocked that I wasn't scared shitless at the idea of us starting a family. In fact, I was fighting a stupid grin from appearing on my face as I pictured a little boy with unruly bronze hair and emerald eyes. I'd never known how much I really wanted to have a family with Edward, but I still wasn't sure that the timing was right. At the same time, I didn't know any valid reasons to object. When was the right time, anyway? Maybe Edward was right and there was never a perfect time._

_The more my head was spinning with what-ifs, the more worried Edward seemed to become._

“ _I'm sorry, baby, for pushing you like this. We don't have to decide today.”_

“ _Okay!” I choked out._

_He flashed me a small smile. “Let's talk about this again in a few days.”_

“ _I said okay,” I repeated, almost bursting at the seams with excitement._

_He looked at me like I was nuts. “I don't understand. What's okay?”_

_I smiled brightly because I knew he'd be totally ecstatic with my answer. “That we don't try to not have a baby.”_

“ _You're sure?” he demanded, wide-eyed._

“ _Yeah, I am.” With that, he attacked my lips, pinning me to the couch with his body on top of mine._

_We made love several times that night, and somehow it had a whole new quality to it. The sex was great, as always, and it was fun, but it was so much more, too. …_

 

… I was a little flushed with the memories of our lovemaking when I returned to the present, noticing that the car had stopped. I looked around, seeing nothing but meadows and a little forest ahead.

Confused, I turned to look at Edward, who was smiling indulgently. “Where did you say we were going?”

“Actually, I didn't. I just said I wanted to show you something. Come on.” He chuckled as he exited the car. After walking around the hood, he opened my door, reaching his hand out to help me get out, too. “Trust me, baby, I'm sure you won't be disappointed.” 

With our hands joined, he led me through the trees that turned out to be just a patch of wood instead of a larger forest.

When we left the shaded path, I stopped immediately as my eyes spotted a beautiful rustic chapel. It was a Gothic-style building with a single bell tower right at the entrance. The double doors were shaded by a small pitched roof awning that was resting on two stone columns. 

The chapel was built from faded white stone and looked as picturesque as they come, surrounded by lots of trees with wonderful multicolored leaves. The photographer in me wanted to pull out her camera and do a round of scenic shots.

“Wow! That's beautiful. What is that?” I choked out, overwhelmed by the view.

Edward moved behind me and wove his arms around my waist, pulling me against him. “This is St. John the Baptist Chapel. I knew you'd like it. Come on, let's go inside.”

He grabbed my hand in his again and pulled me after him to the entrance. I was surprised when he found the door unlocked. Putting his hand on the small of my back, he carefully pushed through the foyer into the altar room.

I was awestruck by what my eyes saw. From the inside, the chapel was just as beautiful as it was from the outside. Although the small main room had a vaulted ceiling made from dark wood and the pews were made from similar dark wood, it was still light and friendly. The walls, which were made from the same light stone as the outside, were disrupted by big Tiffany-style stained-glass windows which immersed the room in bright, colorful light.

Again, I felt compelled to take at least a hundred photographs in there. I walked down the aisle and stopped in front of the altar, turning around to look back at the entrance. Edward was standing there, a complacent smile on his face. “Do you like it, baby?” he asked as he started to stroll toward me, his hands extended to take mine.

“Like it? I love it. This is, wow, I don't have words for this.” We sat down in the first pew and Edward started to stroke my hands while he watched them with intensity. Somehow, the moment felt grave. I had no idea why he'd brought me there, to the chapel in the middle of nowhere, but I could tell that he did it with a certain intention.

Before I could ask him about it, he finally looked up and started to speak. His eyes were full of emotion. “Baby, I know we've only met almost one year ago, but to me it feels like a lifetime. In fact, I can't remember a time when you weren't part of my life, and I don't want to, either. From the moment you walked into that corner at the party, everything was different. One week later, when I took you home after your first weekend with me, I knew you were  _it_ for me. I've never felt as connected to someone in my entire life, and I never will feel the same with anyone else ever again.” 

His voice was hoarse. Although I still didn't know what was going on, I felt some kind of nervous anticipation that made my eyes tear up as Edward reached into the pocket of his leather jacket and came back with a small black velvet box. My eyes widened at the sight of it and my heart started to beat faster. 

He opened the lid and turned my right hand over, putting the open box in my palm. I kept my eyes locked on his face as he slid off the seat and went down on one knee in front of me. I worked hard to not look down at the thing I was holding in my hand.

“Isabella Swan, you're the love of my life, my best friend and my partner in crime. I can't stand the idea of spending even a single day without you by my side. I want you to be my wife and the mother of my children. Please, Bella, will you marry me?” He almost choked on the last words and everything about him told me how serious he was.

I thought I should've been scared to death. I should've felt the desperate need to run away, escape and hide under a rock. But I didn't. I felt the love radiating off of Edward, touching my heart and wrapping it in a thick blanket of trust and security. And, all of a sudden, there was only one thing I could possibly answer him.

“Yes, yes, I will!” The tears were brimming over as I threw myself at him, hugging him to me with all the strength I had. 

I could feel the tension leave the muscles in his shoulders as they shook with relieved laughter. “Oh, baby, you make me the happiest man on earth.”

Edward placed his hands on my cheeks and pulled my face against his for a searing kiss. It was chaste for us, but just right for the moment. It was just a perfect expression of how overwhelmed and happy he felt.

When he let me go, and I had the chance to catch my breath, I finally dared to look at the box that he'd placed in my hand. Again, my breath caught when I took in the most beautiful ring I'd ever seen.

“Do you like it?” Edward asked a little insecurely while he took it out of the box and slid it on the third finger of my left hand. It fit as if it were made just for me.

“It's perfect. I love it.” I wasn't actually able to see the ring very clearly because the tears in my eyes blurred my vision, but I blinked them away to take inventory of my new permanent companion.

The ring was a gold band that was narrow in the back but became about twice as wide toward the front. In the center was an oval-shaped emerald the size of a pea. Placed left and right of it were pearls and smaller emeralds. From the look of it, the ring was antique, and I was sure it was exactly the ring I'd have chosen for myself. The weight of it felt wonderful on my finger.

Edward's soft voice brought me back from my daze. “It's a family heirloom. It was my Grandmother Platt's engagement ring. She left it to me in her will. The second I saw your locket, I knew we were as perfect a match as our grandmothers' jewelry.” His lips curved up into a shy smile.

“It's wonderful. You couldn't have found me a better one if you'd tried.” Again, I pressed my lips to his, attempting to convey my happiness and gratitude.

“Baby, there's more,” Edward started when I finally let go of him.

I felt my brows furrow in confusion. “More?”

 

********POMH********

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like the first part of their future? What more could there be?
> 
> I want to set one thing straight. As a pharmacist, I know that taking a break from the pill is a totally outdated cure for abnormalities in the monthly cycle. It's true that cramps and longer periods can occur if a woman has been on the pill for long, but the usual cure is switching the pill. Anyway, I needed a reason for Bella to take a break. I hope you'll forgive me for this little inaccuracy.
> 
> For all of you who are interested in pictures of the engagement ring or the chapel, I'll post them in my FB group _Payton79's Fanfiction_.
> 
> Part two of the epi will be posted next Friday. Until then, tell me what you think, here or on FB.
> 
> See you next Friday.


	39. Epilogue - Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Friday again, which is happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I'm posting the second part of the epilogue. Sad because there's only one part left after this. But let's not think about sad things right now because the chapter is a very happy one, just like the whole epi is.
> 
> I'm so happy that my wonderful betas **EdwardsMate4ever** and **evelyn-shaye** helped me again with this one. I'd be totally lost without your guidance. I also want to thank my great friends and pre-readers **Vampgirl79** and **LaPumuckl** for always having my back.
> 
> So, let's find out what Edward's “more” is. See you at the bottom.  
>  **Disclaimer:** Although this story is almost finished, Twilight's still not mine.  
> 

 

Epilogue – Part II

 

He took my hand in his again, stroking his ring that now had its home on my finger. “There's a reason I brought you here today. This is a special place for my family and me.”

I'd already assumed that he'd planned something. Maybe he wanted us to get married in this beautiful little chapel.

“My parents were married here and my grandparents before them. Emmett and I were baptized here, as well.” He fidgeted with my ring a little bit, and I waited for whatever he actually wanted to say when his eyes met mine again. “Baby, I want you to marry me here — tomorrow.”

My eyes went wide with shock as my jaw dropped to the floor. “Tomorrow? Edward, how … why … ?” I wasn't able to form a coherent sentence.

“Let me explain, okay?” He was calm and composed, so I just nodded and waited. “My parents didn't just get married here. They eloped. They didn't want the whole big production of a wedding their parents were planning. They wanted to do it simple and small, and they celebrated their thirty-fifth wedding anniversary last summer. I want for us to have what they have. Thirty-five years from now, I still want to look at you the way my dad looks at my mom. I want our children to call us gross and tell us to get a room. I think they did it right. They wanted their wedding to be just for them. I want _our_ wedding to be about _us_. I want it to be special for you and me and no one else. And tomorrow's the first anniversary of the day we met. That's the perfect date, don't you think?”

Throughout his explanation, he'd hidden his nervousness well. But I knew him well enough to hear a bit of insecurity in his outwardly confident voice.

My head was spinning as Edward's eyes bore into mine. How did we get from “Marry me?” to “Marry me tomorrow”?

“Edward, what about our families and friends? Don't you think they'd be disappointed if we just told them we got married, and they weren't part of it?” Strangely, that was the first and probably only reason against it I could come up with.

Edward chuckled once but turned serious again. “I assure you that my parents would understand. Otherwise they'd be hypocrites. And the other people, well, that's exactly what I meant. This should be about us. I don't want to wait another day for you to become my wife, let alone months. But if you want a longer engagement, we'll do it. If you want a big wedding and everything, we'll do that. But just imagine how Alice would turn it into a circus.”

I snorted, thinking about how mad Alice had driven us over the past few months when she planned her own wedding, and she'd already promised me to plan mine, too, one day. Thinking of that threat made me shudder. 

I took a deep breath and looked around the chapel for a long moment. “I love this. It would be wonderful to get married here. And it would be great to skip all the planning and the other madness. But I don't want to hurt my dad and our friends.” I was kind of sad because I could really picture just the two of us, standing in front of the altar, vowing to love each other till death do us part.

“There is a way we can have both.” My eyes, which had been fixed on the altar in front of us, snapped back to Edward's. He smiled mischievously as he explained. “We can have the private wedding if that's what we want. It'd just be for us. We wouldn't even have to tell people. Then, a few months from now, we'll have a second wedding for everyone else. But you and me, we'll always know how we really got married.”

As strange and crazy as it sounded, I actually thought it could work for me. A wedding just for us, the way we wanted it, and another one for the rest of the world. If we did it that way, I could let Alice have her fun, and it wouldn't be too bad if I hated it because it wasn't our real wedding. I smiled at the thought before I turned serious again.

“But how would the wedding go? Would we get married in jeans and a sweatshirt, because that's all I have with me at the hotel. And how do you know the chapel is free tomorrow?” 

Edward's smug grin told me that he'd taken care of all of that already. “ _If_ you agree to marry me here tomorrow — and that's only if you really want to do it — then we'll go to the courthouse from here to obtain our marriage license. I made an appointment for you at a bridal store for later this afternoon, too. The chapel is booked for tomorrow at five p.m. I made spa, hair and makeup appointments for you for tomorrow. Everything's planned and ready if you agree. But I only want you to agree if you really want this. We'll do it whichever way  _you_ want.”

It was crazy, it was impulsive, and it would probably be stressful, but I knew it was what I wanted, too. Edward had put a lot of effort into the planning, and it would all be as perfect as the ring and the chapel.

“Okay, let's do it,” I choked out, and Edward drew me into a tight hug immediately.

“You're sure?” he asked as he pulled away to search my face for any kind of doubt.

I flashed him a brilliant smile and nodded. “Yeah, I am. Never been surer in my life.”

 

****POMH****

 

An hour later, we exited the courthouse, marriage license in hand.

“So, what now?” I asked, one brow raised questioningly. 

Edward just smirked and gestured toward a black Mercedes sedan that was parked on the side of the street right in front of us. A middle-aged man wearing a dark suit was standing next to the back door, smiling at us. “That's George. He'll be your driver today. He'll take you to the bridal shop and wherever else you want to go. Just tell him what you need, and he'll take you.”

I looked from George to Edward a few times, confused and surprised at once, before Edward took my hand in his and walked me over to the black car. “Hello, George,” he greeted.

“Hello Miss Swan, Mister Cullen. I'm at your service for the rest of the day.” He smiled at me warmly, and I smiled back.

“Nice to meet you, George. Thanks,” I said shyly before I turned back to look at my fiancé.

“Have a nice day, baby, and enjoy yourself. Take as much time as you need. I'll meet you later at the hotel for dinner.” He planted a loving kiss on my lips, and George opened the back door for me. A little dazed, I slid into the back seat. 

A minute later, George drove off, announcing, “Next stop,  _Bridal Heaven_ .”

 

****POMH****

 

It was dinner time when I entered our suite after an afternoon of shopping. I couldn't believe that I'd found everything I needed in just a few hours. 

When I opened the door, the delicious scent of food hit my nose. The main room was empty except for a room service trolley filled with several covered plates. The table was set and two glasses filled with red wine were waiting for us. 

Just as I was about to make my presence known, Edward came out of the bedroom, his lips forming a smile when he saw me. “Hmmm, you're back — finally. I missed you.” He wrapped me in his arms and touched his lips to mine. “Did you get everything you need for tomorrow? You're still planning on marrying me, aren't you?” His brows were furrowed as a quick wave of doubt seemed to cross his mind.

“Try and stop me!” I purred, making the lines of worry vanish at once.

Edward exhaled audibly. “Phew! I was afraid you'd change your mind once you had time to think about everything.”

“No, Mr. Cullen, you won't get rid of me that easily, and from tomorrow on, not ever again.” I grinned before turning away from him to inspect the food. “So, are you going to feed me, or is this all for show?” 

Edward chuckled as he went to pull out my chair for me. “I have to show you I can take care of you, don't I?”

 

****POMH****

 

Dinner was great, and after we were done with all three courses, it was ten p.m. already. 

“So, it's late, and you need to rest. I booked a second room for tonight. You know, traditionally, the bride and groom don't sleep in the same bed the night before the wedding,” Edward said as he helped me get up from my chair and slid his arms around my waist, attempting to say goodnight.

“I don't want to sleep alone,” I objected. “Screw tradition! When have we ever done anything the traditional way?” 

My hands wove through his hair at the nape of his neck, bringing his lips to mine. Determinedly, I let my tongue trace his bottom lip until he groaned and granted me entrance into his mouth. After teasing his tongue for a few moments, I broke away briefly. “By the way, I was planning on having a few rounds of wild, dirty sex before we're doomed to be a boring, unimaginative married couple.” 

We laughed together, our lips caressing each other again. “Who am I to say no to that?”

 

****POMH****

 

And wild and dirty it was. We lay panting and grinning in each other's arms a while later. “Did I meet your expectations?” Edward asked, a little bit out of breath.

“You exceeded them,” I replied with a giggle, hoping it would always be like that between us.

We kept quiet for a while, catching our breath. As it had become my habit, my left hand toyed with the hair on Edward's chest. For the first time though, my attention was not on his gorgeous sculpted chest. Instead, my eyes were glued to the ring on my finger, the green stones catching the little bit of light shed by the bedside lamp. I marveled at the beauty of it when something hit me.

“Edward, uhm, can I ask you something?” I began tentatively.

“You can ask me anything.” His voice was low and soothing.

I bit my lip for a moment, unsure how to begin. “Well, I know you don't like to talk about Tanya, and I don't like to bring her up, either, especially tonight. But there's something I've been wondering.” Normally, Edward would tense up whenever the name of his ex-girlfriend came up. Not so much this time, which made me brave enough to continue. “Uhm, I remember that you told me you came back from picking up her engagement ring when you found her cheating with your friend. Why did you need to buy her one when you had your grandmother's ring? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I have it instead of her, I just don't understand.”

Edward snorted as his hand stroked up and down my back. “You wouldn't need to ask if you knew her. Tanya would never go for a hand-me-down ring. She made it clear more than once that she expected three carats of diamond or more in a platinum setting. I should have known then that she wasn't the right woman for me. Whereas, when I heard you talk about your grandmother's locket, I knew that you'd cherish my granny's ring.” He took my hand, lifted it to his mouth and kissed the ring on my finger.

“I love it. As I said, it's perfect for me, just like you.” I propped myself up to chastely kiss his lips. 

Resting my head back on Edward's chest, I closed my eyes, formulating another question. “There's something else.”

“Shoot!” was his only answer.

“You didn't ask me for a prenup,” I choked out. We'd never actually talked about money, but I'd seen his parents' house and had spent time with Emmett and Rosalie. I knew without a doubt that Edward had money — much more money than I had. I waited for him to say something.

“What would we need that for? As I pointed out before, you're not Tanya. What's mine will be yours by this time tomorrow. Besides, a prenup only makes sense in a divorce. And I won't ever divorce you!” His words were final and left no room for discussion.

A second later, he flipped us over and I was on my back, the warm weight of his body on top of me. “So, you mentioned  _rounds_ of dirty sex, you know, plural. It's getting late, so we should start the next round now.” 

Edward's lips were already on my neck, and I was only able to hum in agreement when his breath washing over my skin made me shiver with arousal.

 

****POMH****

 

Waking up the next morning, my hand reached out to Edward's side of the bed which appeared to be empty. Confused, I opened my eyes and smiled when I spotted the single red rose resting on his pillow, a piece of paper stuck under it.

I grabbed the flower and lifted the blossom to my nose, taking a whiff before I lightly kissed it. Then I took the piece of paper in my hand, immediately recognizing my fiancé's graceful penmanship.

 

_My love,_

 

_It wasn't easy leaving you sleeping so peacefully. But I didn't want to be in your way today. And I didn't want to tempt fate, either._

_At ten, breakfast will be delivered to you._

_After that, you'll get a full body massage, followed by a manicure and pedicure._

_At two p.m., hair and makeup people will come up to the suite to help you get ready._

_Then, at four, George will be waiting for you in the lobby to take you to St. John._

_I can't wait to make you my wife. I'll be awaiting you impatiently at the end of the aisle._

_I love you._

 

_Edward_

 

Pressing the letter against my heart, I breathed a few times, then I looked at the clock. It was nine in the morning, so I had enough time to take a long shower before my special treatment would begin.

As I stepped out of the walk-in shower about half an hour later, all of a sudden, a wave of nausea hit me. I hesitated for a moment, taking deep breaths in an attempt to push the sickness away. But it was no use. I ran for the toilet to empty my stomach. When I was rid of the remains of last night's dinner, I sat up, feeling a bit better immediately. Shaking my head, I walked to the sink to rinse my mouth and brush my teeth.

Thinking of Edward and hoping he didn't catch the stomach bug, too, I dressed in sweatpants and a top, just before room service delivered my breakfast. Oddly enough, although I had thrown up just a short while ago, I felt famished. Happy that I seemed to be alright, I practically inhaled the assortment of eggs, pancakes and waffles.

 

****POMH****

 

My hair was arranged in two braids on either side of my head that met elegantly in a loose, wavy bun at the back. My face shone bright with the light makeup the stylist had applied a short time ago. My dress, which had been delivered in the morning, was in a white garment bag, hanging from the closet door.

Slowly and carefully, I pulled down the zipper and uncovered the layers of chiffon. I'd fallen in love immediately with the white empire-style dress. The beautifully detailed beaded band under the breast and on the wide straps had caught my eye when I looked over the hundreds of dresses in the store. It fit me like a glove and felt unbelievably soft against my skin. The short train on the back made me feel like a cross between a Greek goddess and an eighteenth century princess. 

The corners of my lips turned up at the memory of my conversation with Jane, the salesperson.

 

… “ _You're looking perfect, Bella. The dress seems to be made for you.” The rapture on her face seemed genuine when I turned around in front of the giant mirror for about the hundredth time._

“ _It feels great, too. But, how much is it? I didn't see the price tag.” I was a little worried that I couldn't afford a dress like that. The shop appeared to be in the upper price range of bridal stores, and nothing looked cheap in there._

_Jane giggled and her eyes sparkled with mischief when she answered, “You're not supposed to know the price. We were instructed to remove the price tags from every dress you want to look at. Mr. Cullen said you should have the perfect dress, no matter the cost. He already left us his credit card information. He also instructed us not to let you argue. You are just to accept his generosity for once — his words, not mine.”_

_I knew exactly what that comment was referring to. A few months ago, Edward had called me from work and asked me to go into his home office to get something for him. He told me to take a certain folder from a shelf and look for a particular bill to fax it to him. Going through the folder, I came across a bill from an antique store. Although I knew it was none of my business, curiosity got the better of me, and I took a closer look. As it turned out, that piece of paper was the receipt for the locket Edward had given me for Christmas. My eyes almost popped out of my head when I saw that he'd paid fifteen-hundred dollars for my present. Needless to say that I read him the riot act when he came home that night for spending that kind of money on a simple Christmas present. From that day on, he made sure that, whenever he gave me something, I wouldn't find out about the price._

_I wasn't sure if I was amused or annoyed by Edward's orders, but I had no other option than to go along with them._

“ _Okay, then I think this is my dress,” I said, resigned but happy at the same time._

_Jane smiled at me. “You're making the right choice. He'll tear up at the sight of you, I promise.”_

_I sighed, hoping Edward would like the dress he was probably paying a small fortune for. …_

 

I took my time slipping into the dress. When the zipper on the back was up, I put on my white, medium height sling-backs. Completing the outfit, I wore my locket and the matching earrings Edward had given me for my birthday.

Taking a last look in the mirror, I gasped at my reflection. I'd never looked as beautiful as I did in that moment. And it was not only the wonderful dress or the professional hair and makeup. It was the expression on my face, the twinkle in my eyes at the knowledge that, two hours from now, I'd be Mrs. Edward Anthony Cullen.

My phone beeped, pulling me out of my reverie to remind me that it was time to meet George in the lobby. So I took the white chiffon shawl to cover my naked arms and hurried out of the room toward my future.

 

****POMH****

 

The drive to the chapel seemed to take much longer than it had the day before. George smiled at me a lot in the rear-view mirror while I either fidgeted with my shawl or stared out of the window, watching the landscape. Each tree we passed brought me closer to becoming Edward's wife, and I couldn't wait.

It was hard to believe that, only twelve months ago, getting married was the last thing on my mind. I'd been so afraid to let anyone close enough to hurt me again. For seven years, I'd managed to stay detached and protect my heart from pain. Then, within a few short weeks, Edward had turned my life upside down. His love and perseverance had left me no other choice than to open up my heart to let him in. And now, here I was, about to become his wife.

After what felt like hours, we finally pulled up in front of the chapel. Instead of making me walk through the woods like we'd done the day before, George stopped the car right in front of the entrance. He opened my door, helped me out of the car and led me to the double doors where he handed me a gorgeous bouquet of dark red roses and calla lilies.

“I wish you all the luck in the world, Ms. Swan. You look stunning,” he said with a smile as he brushed a little kiss on my cheek. 

I thanked him and took a deep breath before I reached for the knob, opening the door to enter the little foyer.

“Oh Miss Swan, there you are.” A little old lady hurried toward me, hugging me quickly. “Mr. Cullen was beginning to get nervous, although you're right on time.” She giggled like a schoolgirl. “All grooms are like that. Oh, I'm Miss Cope, by the way. My brother is the priest that will marry the two of you. You make such a cute couple. Just wait here and I'll tell him we can get started.” The lively grandma-type woman rushed off before I could get a word in and left me to my thoughts for a little while.

I was wondering why my nausea from the morning hadn't returned. It was strange. That morning, I hadn't felt nervous at all but my stomach had thought otherwise. Standing in the chapel waiting for the ceremony to begin, I actually felt a bit of nervousness. But there wasn't a hint of sickness. What I was feeling right then was positive excitement, though. I didn't doubt my decision to marry Edward. I wasn't even unsure about doing it there and then, without our family or friends. No, I was impatient to get the show on the road. I wanted to see Edward, standing at the end of the short aisle. I couldn't wait to see the look on his face when he watched me walking toward him. I was looking forward to him slipping yet another ring on my finger and me putting a band on him as well, binding us together for life.

Pacing back and forth for several minutes, I waited for Miss Cope's return, letting out a long breath when she finally came walking to me again.

“Well, dear, everything's set. Are you ready?” she asked when she took the shawl from my shoulders as strings began to play “Pachelbel's Canon”.

“More than you know,” I answered. 

The old lady smiled at me brightly, then opened the double swing doors that led to the altar room. I gasped quietly at the scenery that appeared before my eyes. Edward had outdone himself. The room was filled with candles and arrangements of flowers, mirroring my bouquet in color and style. The end of each pew was decorated with a single red rose or a white calla lily. To the left of the altar stood a string quartet.

When I scanned the rest of the room, I noticed an elderly priest standing in the back, but I forgot about him and everyone else as soon as I laid eyes on Edward. I quickly took inventory of his clothes. He was wearing a dark gray tux with a matching vest underneath. Around his neck was an emerald-colored tie over a crisp white shirt. He was more handsome than ever in his wedding getup. But as soon as our eyes met, I didn't see anything else anymore.

My feet started to walk of their own volition, every step carrying me closer to the man who was my destiny. I smiled so brightly that it almost hurt while he seemed to pull me in with magnetic force. Edward's eyes were glistening with moisture, his expression one of awe.

When I was only a few feet away, he extended his left hand to me, and I hurried the last few steps toward him, happily placing my right hand in his. He pulled me close to him, softly kissing my forehead before he whispered into my ear, “You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.” 

The strings faded away, and the priest came closer, greeting us and starting the ceremony.

I didn't hear most of it as my eyes were locked with Edward's. Silently, we promised each other the world. I repeatedly noticed the words  _love_ and  _trust_ in Father Cope's sermon, but nothing mattered apart from Edward and me. It was  _our_ day, just the way  _we_ wanted it to be.

When the time came to say “I do”, we both did so without a second's hesitation. And just like that, exactly one year after walking into a dark corner at a party to find a stranger there who turned out to be the love of my life and everything I'd ever hoped for and more, I became his wife. A feeling of bliss I'd never known before filled me from the inside.

Shortly after, I felt Edward slide a simple golden band against my beautiful engagement ring before I put a matching golden ring on his finger. Then he took both my hands in his while Father Cope declared us husband and wife and told Edward to kiss the bride. He pulled me close to him and touched his burning lips to mine. Time froze in that moment, and it felt like we kissed for a small eternity before the priest cleared his throat with a chuckle. We broke our kiss and giggled as we gazed at each other lovingly.

The ceremony was simple, short and absolutely perfect for us. Little time later, we walked up the aisle, my hand in the crook of my husband's arm while he proudly smiled down on me. Miss Cope was awaiting us in the foyer together with George.

“Mrs. Cullen, congratulations,” he greeted me with a soft kiss to my cheek as Miss Cope hugged Edward. 

Then they changed places, George shaking Edward's hand while Miss Cope pulled me into her arms, wishing me luck, a wonderful life and many beautiful babies.

We took a few pictures outside in the clearing with Miss Cope as our photographer. The twilight and the colorful trees made the perfect atmosphere.

 

****POMH****

 

“Are you happy?” Edward asked me in the backseat of the car as George drove us back to our hotel.

“Perfectly happy!” I answered with conviction as I snuggled closer into his arms.

 

****POMH****

 

When we arrived at the hotel, we quickly said goodbye to George before Edward led me to the elevator and up to our floor. In front of our door, he scooped me up in his arms, pushed the door open with his hip and carried me over the threshold.

“Welcome, Mrs. Cullen,” he said smiling, kissing my lips. I loved the sound of my new name. “This is not our home, but I'll carry you in there later.” He held me in his arms while he began to move his lips over mine, carefully caressing my bottom lip with his tongue. Automatically, I opened my mouth to invite him in.

After several minutes of passionate kissing, I felt very worked up. “Wouldn't it be better to take this to the bedroom?” I suggested playfully.

“And let all this go to waste?” Edward answered, setting me on my feet and stretching his arm out to present our surroundings.

For the first time, I took a look at the room and didn't recognize it. Every surface was covered with candles. The table was set for a feast and right then I noticed Iron and Wine's “Flightless Bird, American Mouth” in a special unplugged version sounding from the stereo. Again, Edward had planned everything perfectly. 

Without a word, he pulled me into his arms and we began to sway. I rested my cheek against his chest, loving the way he held me. This was our first dance as husband and wife. I hoped it would never end.

“Come on, Mrs. Cullen, let's eat.” Edward said smiling once the song had ended. He kissed me lovingly before he led me over to the table, helped me sit down and took a seat across from me. Then he picked up the phone that was lying close by, pushed a button and a minute later, a waiter from room service came in, pushing a trolley with a bottle of champagne chilling in a bucket in front of him. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, congratulations on your wedding. This is on the house,” he said as he filled our flutes with the sparkly liquid. After setting the glasses in front of us, he bowed slightly and left the room again.

“To us!” Edward toasted. “To our love and to our future.” 

I clinked my glass to his and we drank to that.

We ate, we danced a lot, we touched even more and we kissed. It was romantic, it was sweet, it was perfect. Just the two of us, being together like that was so much better than celebrating a wedding with hundreds of people around.

After we finished our dessert, Edward got up and took my hand, leading me through the open bedroom door. 

 

********POMH********

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cock-blocking but I promise there will be one last lemon in the final part of the epi. The wedding night is just too important to let it fade to black ;).
> 
> Anyway, how did you like the wedding? Many of you who reviewed guessed that Edward would want to marry Bella on the spot. Well, you weren't too far off, as you see. 
> 
> Did any of you notice the little hint that will become something major? Can't wait to hear your thoughts on that.
> 
> Of course, the pictures of the wedding dress and the hairdo are up in the FB group _Payton79's Fanfiction_ as well as they're part of the chapter on _The Writer's Coffee Shop_.
> 
> Just one more part is left. I think I'll have to go buy lots and lots of tissues for next week when I'll hit the complete button. See you next Friday.


	40. Epilogue - Part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! So today's finally the day I'm posting the last part of the main story. I want to thank all of you who were along for the ride. Thanks for all the reviews and your support through this whole journey. 
> 
> As always, I have to shout out a loud Thank You to my betas **evelyn-shaye** and **EdwardsMate4ever** for their great help as well as my pre-readers **Vampgirl79** and **LaPumuckl** for their contunuing support. 
> 
> Anyway, I don't want to ramble here. Instead, I'll give you a longer A/N in the end.  
>  **Disclaimer:** Although this story is almost finished, Twilight's still not mine.  
> 

  


Epilogue – Part III

  


“You look so beautiful.” Edward admired me in my wedding gown, glancing from head to toe and back up again, before his lips captured mine.

I grabbed the knot of his tie, loosening it, then tugging it off of him. After that, my hands slid under his jacket, easing it off his shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. As soon as that was out of the way, I started unbuttoning his vest. 

Edward chuckled against my neck. “Hmmm, someone's eager, huh?” 

“I just want to see what's mine now,” I answered playfully, stripping him of his vest.

His hands ghosted down my back, taking hold of the zipper, and slowly started to pull it down.

“Then I think turnabout's fair play, don't you agree?” he asked in a sultry voice.

My dress was completely unzipped, and I felt a light breeze on my back. Carefully, Edward took the wide straps on my shoulders and slid them off. At once, my dress fell to the floor, leaving me only in my lingerie. He took a step back to get a better look at me. I stepped out of the fabric that had pooled around my feet, giving him a perfect view of my white lace strapless bra, matching boy shorts and nude-colored stockings with white lace at the top.

“So fucking beautiful!” Edward whispered hoarsely. “And all mine. Forever!” He wrapped his arm around my waist, drawing me close again. 

In between languid kisses, I unbuttoned his shirt and stripped off everything but his black boxer briefs. Placing my palms on his chest, I slowly pushed him toward the bed, taking an admiring look at what was mine from now on, and made him sit down on the mattress. Edward smirked up at me as I stood between his legs. He placed his hands lightly on my ass and pulled me close enough to shower the skin around my bellybutton with sweet little kisses. My fingers wove themselves through his hair, my nails tenderly scratching his scalp. The sensation made him moan against my stomach as his kisses turned into licks and little bites. Then I was the one to make noises of pleasure. Slowly, his hands moved up my back to unhook my bra.

“Mine!” Edward growled as he stretched himself to take a nipple into his mouth, flicking it with his tongue. 

I concentrated on his teeth nibbling my sensitive nub while his hand pinched its twin. “Ohhh!” I breathed out as I felt a gush of moistness between my legs. 

When I was almost ready to come, Edward's mouth changed sides and showered my other breast with the same attention he'd shown the first one. At the same time, his hands moved down my sides and two fingers hooked into the waistband of my panties. Slowly and carefully, he slid the piece of lace down, uncovering the puzzle-heart tattoo that sat just below the top of my hipbone on the right side of my lower abdomen. Just like every time, his lips curled up into a smile when he laid eyes on the symbol of _us_ on my skin. Although it was still hidden inside his boxers, my eyes wandered to the spot where Edward had the missing piece of the puzzle tattooed.

When my panties were out of the way, Edward's fingers began to lovingly trace the outlines of the dark red and black ink. “I love you, baby,” he whispered as he looked up, his eyes locking with mine.

“I love you more than anything!” I answered with all the conviction I felt. 

Seemingly overwhelmed with emotion, he stood up and kissed me hard, one hand at my neck, the other one at the small of my back, holding me close to him. While our tongues were stroking each other demandingly, Edward turned us around until I felt the mattress at the back of my thighs.

“Lie down on the bed,” he instructed me a little breathlessly. 

Like always, I followed his instructions and sat down on the bed, then scooted back until I was right in the middle before I lay down. With a devious smirk, Edward crawled onto the mattress until he sat up on his knees between my parted legs. His skillful fingers quickly removed my right stocking. Keeping the nylon piece in his hands, he leaned down to me, kissing my lips. I wasn't sure what was going on until I felt him wrap the stocking around my right wrist, securing it with a knot. Then he pulled my arm up and tied the end of the stocking to the wooden bars of the headboard.

He didn't give me much time to think about what was happening when he kissed a wet line from my neck, down the center of my chest, and over my belly button while stripping me off the other stocking. Just like the first one, he tied it around my other wrist and secured it over my head.

Then he climbed off the bed, searched around the discarded clothes on the floor until he seemed to have found what he was looking for. 

“Lift your head,” he said huskily when he was back, holding his emerald neck tie.

I bit my lip, unsure of what was to come, but did as I was told. He wound the silk blindfold around my eyes, knotting it at the side.

Goosebumps spread allover my body in anticipation of what Edward would do to me.

“I'll be back,” he told me before I heard undefinable noises coming from the living-room part of our suite.

Then the music changed from romantically sweet as we'd listened to the whole evening to more sensual and sexy tunes. Before I could come up with many scenarios of what might happen, Edward was back, putting something beside the bed.

“Relax. Let me make you feel good,” he whispered right next to my ear. His warm breath made me shudder with arousal.

It didn't take long before something soft and delicate touched my left wrist. Very slowly, it traveled down the inside of my arm, creating a wonderfully stimulating, tingling sensation. Without thinking about it, I started humming in pleasure. 

After whatever it was reached my shoulder, it was moved further down until it started to circle my nipple. 

“Hmmm, you seem to like that,” Edward purred when my bud pebbled instantly.

Before I knew it, the item was lifted from my skin and it started to brush right over my sensitive little peak. I couldn't hold back the moan that wanted out. 

“Yeah, you really love this, huh?” He chuckled lowly. 

When I was getting really worked up, the thing left my skin, and a little later, I felt it at my right wrist. Edward repeated the exact same movements he'd made on my left side. Within minutes, I was moaning again when my right nipple was teased deliciously.

Again, just as I was almost going insane, the thing left. Seconds later, I felt it on my forehead, moving down over the ridge of my nose. When it met my nostrils, I smiled, finally recognizing that Edward had caressed me with a rose.

“Its color looks so beautiful against your creamy skin,” Edward whispered as he licked up my neck.

I heard a few sloshing noises and winced when, a moment later, drops of cold water hit the valley between my breasts.

“You're so hot, baby, I think I have to cool you down a bit.” He chuckled as his hot tongue licked the liquid from my skin.

Then I was stung by something ice-cold touching my nipple, and I moaned loudly as my upper body arched back, trying to get away from the freezing thing.

“I love it when your nipples are hard like that,” I heard Edward's sexy voice say while he circled an ice cube around the tip of my left breast. Then I felt his tongue teasing my taut flesh. He sucked my frozen skin into his burning mouth, and I was close to coming undone. He bit and nibbled and sucked relentlessly but just before the coil deep down could actually snap, he was gone — starting to freeze my other nipple.

When he was satisfied with the way he had worked my other side, his lips were on mine again. He lowered himself down onto me and when he rested his hips between my legs, I could feel that his boxer briefs were gone. I gasped feeling his erection touch my needy clit. 

His hands went up and undid the ties around my wrists, bringing my hands down again with them. I rested them on his strong shoulders as I felt him position himself at my entrance. Then the blindfold was pulled away. As I opened my eyes, I found Edward's intense green eyes stare into mine with all the love in them flowing over to me. 

“I want to look into your eyes when I make you mine, once and for all, Mrs. Cullen.” With those words, he slowly slid himself inside my ready center. 

Even though the feeling was overwhelming, neither of us looked away. Our eyes were locked with each other when Edward started to move in and out of me in a torturously slow pace.

We'd had sex with each other probably a thousand times by now, but it had never been like this. We always had this incredible connection, even the very first time when we hadn't even known each other. But that night, after promising to love each other forever, it was like we were actually becoming one.

We clung to each other, sharing long deep kisses, while Edward thrust his hips against mine, each time creating an even more delicious sensation than the time before. I felt like I was floating freely, the only thing securing me to the earth was Edward. 

We made love like that for a very long time, kissing and caressing, the intensity building with each thrust, until it was too much, and I came violently around him, screaming out his name while my eyes never left his. As soon as I clamped down on his cock, I felt him coming undone. He slammed into me erratically until he shouted my name and spilled his warm seed deep inside me. 

Instead of taking the time to catch our breath, Edward kissed my lips tenderly, whispering, “I love you!”

In a rush of emotion, tears spilled from my eyes and I answered, “I love you, too, so much!” in between sobs. But they weren't sad tears. We both smiled at each other, knowing that we'd just strengthened the bond we had formed earlier that night.

  


****POMH****

  


“Hmmm,” I moaned when I sunk my teeth into the strawberry Edward was feeding me. The sweet juice of the fruit poured into my awaiting mouth. Around us, the jets of the jacuzzi created big banks of bubbles.

“Baby, you know what those noises you make do to me, right? I thought we were in here to take a little time-out.” Edward flashed me his lopsided smile, his eyes filled with lust.

It was unbelievable. We'd been married for almost twenty-four hours, and that whole time had been spent between the silk sheets, except for short visits to the bathroom. And sleep had not really been part of our activities. So, a little break was definitely needed.

Edward had prepared us a bubble bath with champagne and strawberries. The room was lit by dozens of candles. Everything, from his proposal to the wedding to the celebration afterward, had been perfect and just us. I loved this time we had alone together. But tomorrow, we would return to Chicago. I was definitely looking forward to seeing Edward's family — no, _our_ family. After all, I was a Cullen now, too, although no one would know any time soon. We would stay at Edward's parents' house, as always, and we would meet little Henry.

I'd promised to be at Alice's beck and call from tomorrow until the wedding. I sighed, knowing that my best friend would probably find a lot for me to do.

“What's up, baby?” Edward asked upon hearing my sigh.

I took my husband's hand and started playing with his fingers. “I'm not ready to share you with the rest of the world again,” I explained sadly.

A soft chuckle escaped his throat, and he gripped my other hand with his free one. 

“Are we a wee bit possessive, Mrs. Cullen?” he teased with sparkling eyes.

“Maybe a bit, yeah,” I admitted, but that wasn't really it. “I'm not ready to leave and be Bella Swan again, even if it's only for a while.” I blushed a little when I added, “You know, I like being Mrs. Cullen.”

“You don't have to go back to being Bella Swan,” he suggested, curling his finger under my chin to lift my face up to look at him. “We can just tell everyone that we got married, and they have to deal with it. It's our life, not theirs.” Edward's hand tenderly stroked my cheek.

“I know we can do that. But I think we should stick with the original plan of having a second wedding and keep all this here to ourselves.” I smiled and huffed in amusement. “Alice would blow a gasket if we told her we got married before they do. She had to wait eight years for Jasper to propose, and we got married after just one. And I don't want to steal her thunder. If we announced our marriage this week, it would cast a shadow over their wedding. Even if it's a happy one, I want Alice to have the spotlight all to herself.”

“Like I said two days ago, we'll do it whichever way you want.” Edward's expression turned mischievous and his eyes darkened. “The upside is, we can have more of that wild and dirty unmarried sex for a while.”

I laughed at his enthusiasm when he swam over to me and started to kiss me thoroughly. “That's definitely a good thing. Bring it on, baby.”

  


****POMH****

  


I was standing by the window in our hotel suite. Edward had just tipped the bellboy who'd picked up our luggage before he walked over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling my back against his chest. 

“Ready to leave, baby?” he asked with a kiss to my neck.

I'd been staring at the third finger of my left hand, where both Edward's rings were sparkling as the sunlight met them. 

“Not really, no,” I answered sadly, as I took his left hand with my right one. “We still have to take these off before someone sees them in Chicago.” Instead of just pulling them off, I continued looking at our wedding band. 

“You sure? You don't seem happy about it,” Edward questioned with concern in his voice.

I sighed, blinking away the uninvited tears. “Yeah, I'm sure. It won't be forever.” Pulling myself together, I slowly slid the golden band off my finger, turned around to face Edward and held it out to him. “Will you watch it until you put it back where it belongs?” I asked, looking at him with moist eyes.

He smiled at me lovingly and shook his head. “No, you keep it. It's yours, and I want you to be able to wear it whenever you feel like it. We're married. It doesn't matter if we're wearing these rings or not. You're always my wife.” He kissed my lips tenderly before he pulled me into a tight embrace. 

After a moment, we broke apart and Edward took my left hand, stroking the engagement ring that was still there. “You're keeping this on?” His tone was hopeful.

I smiled happily. “Yeah. We can be engaged. Alice can take that. If not, she just has to suck it up. I'm never going to take that off. And once the other one's back in place, they'll have to take it off my cold dead finger.” 

“I love you, Mrs. Cullen,” Edward stated with a kiss to my lips.

“I love you too, Mr. Cullen,” I answered with conviction.

  


****POMH****

  


A few hours later, we walked into Emmett and Rosalie's living room where the whole Cullen family plus Alice and Jasper were gathered. I hadn't even completely crossed the threshold when Alice came running toward me, squealing, “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! You got engaged!” She grabbed my hand and admired the ring before she even greeted me.

I didn't know how she did that. She'd been standing at the other end of the room, and the ring was rather small and discreet. But she'd spotted it the minute she laid eyes on me.

“Congratulations, honey. I'm so happy for you.” She let go of my hand and hugged me like a madwoman. 

Then she let go of me and kind of jumped at Edward to wrap her arms around his neck, repeating her words of felicitation.

All of a sudden, we were surrounded by everyone in the room. One after the other, Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie with baby Henry in her arms hugged us and wished us all the best. 

Edward and I just smiled at each other knowingly. Of course, we had to tell the story of the proposal, and we told it just the way it actually happened. We just kept the second part of it to ourselves. Everyone was moved by Edward's choice of location, and the men clapped his shoulder for doing the right thing.

We toasted and had lunch, and I was happy to be with the family again. From the first time I'd met the Cullens, I'd felt like one of them. Now I finally was, even if only Edward and I knew.

After helping Rosalie clean up the kitchen, I walked back into the living room, and found Edward standing by the French doors, holding baby Henry in his arms. I couldn't actually hear what he was saying, but it was clear that he was having quite a conversation with his little nephew. His face was so animated that I couldn't help but smile at the picture. 

It was strange, but seeing him with the baby in his arms made me ache for a baby of our own. I hadn't been sure I was ready when we'd had our talk a month ago. I had agreed and I was excited, but still, I had hoped we would have a little more time before we'd actually become parents. Now, with Edward all fatherly in front of me, I knew that, even if by the end of the three-month pill-break I wouldn't be pregnant, I didn't want to go back to using birth control. I wanted a baby. 

I felt myself smile at the realization. I wanted to be a mom. I longed to have a child of my own. If it was up to me, then, by this time next year, it would be _our_ baby Edward would be rocking to sleep. A strange feeling of peace washed over me as if everything was right in the world for once. 

Just then, Edward turned around and found me gazing dreamily at the two of them. He flashed me a brilliant smile and gestured with his head for me to come over and join them.

  


****POMH****

  


The next morning, I woke up to the same feeling I'd had the days before. Every day since we'd gotten married, there had been a strange queasiness in the pit of my stomach. Previously, it had slowly subsided about half an hour after I'd left the bed. 

Just like each morning, my bladder was urging me to get up and relieve myself. So, I cautiously freed myself from Edward's embrace, careful not to wake him up. I snuck into the bathroom and did my business, then went to brush my teeth. As soon as I put the toothpaste on my toothbrush, my nausea intensified hundredfold and I dashed for the toilet, retching up the contents of my stomach. It took me about twenty seconds until everything was out and my breathing slowly returned to normal. 

I shook my head, hoping Edward hadn't heard me. If it had been the first time I'd vomited this week, I might have considered it normal. But the queasiness every morning for the last three days combined with an enhanced sensitivity of my breasts I had noticed recently, made me think about other reasons for what was going on.

This time, I managed to brush my teeth without throwing up again, although my stomach started to churn dangerously. I took a few deep breaths and joined Edward in bed again.

“Hmmm, you're back. I was about to send a search party into the bathroom.” He pulled me close to him and caressed my nose with his. “And you already brushed your teeth.”

“Yeah, I thought you'd like that,” I offered before he could ask for the reason.

“Nice. We're alone in the house right now. How about a little mornin' lovin'?” He rolled on top of me and, all of a sudden, my nausea was forgotten.

  


****POMH****

  


It was the morning of Alice and Jasper's wedding. As was the norm now, I was awakened by my churning stomach. My eyes flew open in panic when I already tasted the first traces of acid in my mouth. I wiggled out of Edward's arms as carefully but at the same time as quickly as I could, then ran for the toilet at maximum speed, closing the door behind me on the way. From day to day, throwing up had taken a bit longer. This time, it was about five minutes before I felt good enough to get up. I brushed my teeth with my new toothpaste that smelled nothing like the old one and my stomach seemed to agree with that. 

As I rinsed my mouth, my gaze fell on the little brown bag that I'd put in my toiletry bag last night. The morning before, when Edward had been taking a shower, I had dared to take a look at my calendar and was surprised to find that it had already been four weeks since I'd stopped taking the pill, and I hadn't had my period once. I'd furrowed my brows, puzzled that I hadn't noticed that any sooner, but it was what it was. And with my period being definitely very late, my throwing up and the sensitive breasts, it was high time to take a test. So, last night, on my way back from the hotel the wedding would be held at, I'd stopped at a drug store.

I'd hidden the bag from Edward's curious eyes because I didn't want to get his hopes up in vain. I'd managed to keep my throwing up a secret until then, but I wasn't sure how much longer I had until he noticed. I tiptoed to the door, opened it slowly and noiselessly to check if Edward was still asleep. He was lying in bed, his back turned to me, snoring softly. 

Quietly, I closed the door again and locked it. With unsteady fingers, I took the baby blue package out of the brown bag and took it with me to the toilet. I did what the instructions on the pack said. Then I had to wait four minutes.

  


****POMH****

  


“Bella, I can't believe I'm getting married in a few minutes,” Alice told me as I straightened her veil and draped it correctly down her back. “Eight years and today's the day.”

I smiled at her reflection in the mirror. She was looking beautiful in her ivory-colored, lacy mermaid dress. Her veil was attached to the back of her head and fell down to her hips. It had taken her months to find that dress, but it suited her perfectly.

“It'll be all the more special because you had to wait so long,” I assured her.

She made a few three-sixty turns to look at herself again before she stopped, facing me.

“And you'll be next! We'll make your wedding so perfect.” She jumped up and down with excitement as the door opened and my husband stuck his head in. “Is the bride ready?” he asked, smiling at me.

“Yeah, she is,” Alice beamed at him. “Let's get the party started.”

Edward nodded, mouthing “See you later” to me, and left again.

“Let's go then and make you Mrs. Whitlock.” I handed Alice her bouquet, and we went to wait at the entrance to the grand ballroom.

After all the other bridesmaids had walked inside, it was my time, as the maid of honor, to walk down the aisle. It felt so familiar to make that journey, although it was so different from the day I'd walked toward my husband, wearing a beautiful white gown. We hadn't had a ballroom and we hadn't had the hundreds of guests that were present now, but just like a week ago, all I could see while putting one foot in front of the other was the love of my life standing between his friend and his brother as Jasper's best man. His eyes were twinkling as he watched me in my purple dress. Surely he was thinking about our own wedding just like I was. 

As I stepped to the left to take my place, he mouthed “I love you” and I mouthed it back, smiling blissfully.

Then the doors opened again and Alice had her big entrance on her father's arm.

  


****POMH****

  


“When do you think we should throw _our_ little shindig? Do you want to pretend a May-wedding or would you prefer to do it next summer?” Edward asked me while caressing the shell of my ear when we were dancing later that evening. The song was neither fast nor slow, and the dance floor was filled with couples swaying to the music.

The bride and groom had left a few minutes earlier to catch their plane to Barbados. And I was glad the party would soon be coming to a close.

“They'll all be expecting us to set a date, soon,” Edward continued as his lips kissed down my neck, making goose bumps appear all over my skin.

I bit my lip to hide the smile that was about to spread from ear to ear across my face. “Your suggestions might all be a little too late. I think we'll have to change our plans about that and tell everyone the truth,” I murmured, resting my head against Edward's shoulder.

“What, don't you want to do the big wedding thing anymore?” He sounded amused.

I waited a moment until I thought I was able to say the next part without giggling. “Well, that's not really it. It's just that I don't think Chief Swan would react well to his first grandchild being born out of wedlock.” I stayed silent after the words were out, waiting for my message to sink in.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, are you saying that …” Edward pulled away just enough to look into my eyes. His brows were raised in question while the corners of his mouth were curled up in happy excitement.

“I'm pregnant.” I nodded my head in confirmation, smiling joyfully.

He hugged me tighter and lifted my feet off the ground to whirl me around a few times. I laughed loudly, knowing that Edward was as blissful as I was.

“How long have you known?” he asked as he sat me on my feet again.

“I've suspected it since Wednesday. When I threw up the morning of our wedding, I first thought it was out of nervousness. But I've been nauseous each morning since that. Then, from Wednesday on, I've been throwing up each morning. So, today, I took a test. We're having a baby.” Edward clutched me close to him, kissing the top of my head.

“Well, Mrs Cullen, then I think it's a good thing that we're already married.” He started to spin us around again until I was dizzy. “So, what's the plan now?” he asked while I was trying to regain my balance.

I looked over to the table where Sue and Charlie were sitting with Esme and Carlisle, and just then, Rose and Emmett joined them.

“Well, apart from Alice and Jasper, all the important people are here.” I motioned to the table where the Cullens and Swans were sitting together. “We could seize the opportunity that, for once, they're all in the same room and just tell them.” 

I bit my lip a little nervously, waiting for Edward's answer.

“Do you have your ring with you?” he asked with a grave expression.

I furrowed my brows, stating, “I always have it with me.”

“Then give it to me,” he insisted.

I slipped my hand inside my bra and pulled my wedding ring out of its hiding place before I laid it in Edward's open palm.

Ceremoniously, he took my left hand and slid the gold band into the place where it belonged. It felt so good to finally wear it again.

Then he gave me the ring he'd been carrying around in his wallet, and I put it back on his finger.

“From now on, these are going to stay,” he told me, smiling while holding my hand.

I only whispered one word in reply: “Always!”

“Always!” he agreed happily.

We shared a loving kiss, took a deep breath, and with joined hands, we made our way to tell our family — to finally let the world know we were husband and wife.

  


******** **The End** ********

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sniff, sniff* So this is it. I can't believe I finished my first story. This has been such an amazing ride and I'm overwhelmed how many of you jumped on and stayed with me through the angst until Bella and Edward got their very happy end. I want to thank all of you who reviewed, followed and favorited or recommended my story somewhere. I love each and every one of you. 
> 
> A special thanks goes to **Project Team Beta** and my wonderful betas **EdwardsMate4ever** and **evelyn-shaye** who challenged me constantly and made my writing so much better. I love you ladies and I'm so glad I met you. 
> 
> There are two other people who were by my side through it all: My dear friend **Vampgirl79** , without whom I probably wouldn't have started writing POMH, and **LaPumuckl** who, in the course of the story, turned out to be an invaluable help and great friend. I'm glad I found all of you and hope we won't drift apart now that POMH is coming to an end.
> 
> Well, after posting this, I'm finally going to hit _complete_. There are still one or two possible outtakes I might post later, but the main story is told. So, don't be surprised if you get an alert a few weeks from now.
> 
> Due to a family gathering this weekend, it might take some time before I get to answer your reviews. So, don't think I forgot you if you don't get a reply before next week. As usual, I will answer everyone who's logged in and didn't disable PM's.
> 
> I have good news, too. I started working on a new story. I can't tell you when it's going to go online yet, but I'm on it and hope I won't have to make you wait for too long. So, put me on author's alert if you're interested.
> 
> Until then, I'm going to miss you all very much. Maybe you'll say hello in my group on FB called _Payton79's Fanfiction_. There I'll keep you up-to-date about the progress the new story makes. There's also a picture of Bella's bridesmaid's dress. 
> 
> I hope to hear from you all again soon. 
> 
> Take care!  
> Silke


	41. TBL - Prologue

Hi out there!

 

Long time no see :). I know you were all hoping for this to be the promised outtake. I'm sorry that it's not, but I assure you I haven't forgotten. I've put the topic of the outtake up for a vote on my FB group and the members decided they want the birth from Edward's point of view. So that's what I'll be writing.

 

The reason why I haven't written it yet is that I've been bitten by a plot bunny a while ago, and over the last few weeks I concentrated on getting my new story started. Writing's going pretty well so far, and I think I'll be ready to start posting in late June / early July.

 

But there's a reason for this update today. Puzzle of my Heart has been nominated for Top Ten Favorite Fics completed in May over at twifanfictionrecs and I wanted you all to know and maybe go over and vote. Here's the link: <http://twifanfictionrecs.com/2014/06/01/vote-for-your-top-ten-completed-fics-may-2014/>

I didn't want to come empty-handed, though. That's why I'm giving you the prologue for my new story called **Two Blue Lines** today:

 

 

Prologue

 

When I think back to that morning now, so many years later, I can still feel the fear and embarrassment I felt back then. If I'd known then about the consequences of one careless night, I'd have hidden in my bed in hopes of making it all go away.

But I didn't know. And that's a good thing. Fate was actually on my side. Instead of pushing me into something I had to get through alone, it provided me with friends and a family who've been by my side ever since. And it brought me close to the man who turned out to be my destiny.

Our beginning isn't a tale to tell at a casual get together, but it's our story and we're proud of it, because, if things hadn't happened like that, we wouldn't be where we are today.

 

********TBL********

 

So, if you're interested, put me on author's alert to get notified when it goes on-line.

 

I'll be on vacations with my family for the next week, but I promise to start writing the outtake as soon as I'm back. See you then.


	42. Futuretake - Happy Birthday!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N:** With a laughing as well as a crying eye, because this is definitely the last chapter of POMH. I loved the story. I loved writing this last outtake. And I loved your enthusiasm for it. But all good things must come to an end and that happens today for this story.
> 
>   
> 
> 
> BUT for every door that closes, another one opens. So, I'm happy to tell you that I posted the prologue for my new story, **Two Blue Lines** , earlier today. If you're interested, go take a look.
> 
>   
> 
> 
> Once again, I want to thank the people who helped me with this story and were by my side through thick and thin: my betas **EdwardsMate4ever** and **evelyn-shaye** as well as my friends and pre-readers **Vampgirl79** and **LaPumuckl.** You ladies rock!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
>   
> 
> 
> **Disclaimer:** Although I wrote a whole story about Edward and Bella, Twilight's still not mine.
> 
>   
> 

  


Future-take – Happy Birthday EPOV

  


Looking across the backyard, I had to admit that Bella had worked quite some magic there. In one corner of the patio, a barbecue station was situated. Next to it, she had put a table for a salad bar. In the middle of the lawn stood a long table with ten chairs plus a baby high chair. Smiling at the dozens of brightly colored balloons, I turned around to find a garland reading “Happy Birthday” that was hung above the French doors leading to the living room.

Although I had intended to skip my birthday this year since our baby was due a few days later, or maybe just celebrate it by going out to dinner with my wife, said wife had insisted on having a garden party. It would be the first real party we'd have in our own garden since we moved into our new home two months ago.

After finding out about the pregnancy, it had taken me three months to convince Bella into buying a house where we'd have enough space to accommodate the baby and maybe a few other additions to our little family sometime in the future. She'd insisted that she loved our apartment and that the office room would be more than big enough for a nursery. But eventually, I'd worn her down and we'd started looking into real estate.

It took our poor realtor about thirty failed attempts until she showed us the two-story house near Puget Sound. It looked relatively modest and quite small situated between the larger estates surrounding it, but Bella fell in love at first sight. In contrast to the big but rather cold, mostly white mansions, the pale yellow house with the red roof had a homey quality to it. After setting foot into the hall and seeing the beautiful, moderately rustic interior, I was done for as well. We made an offer that was actually a lot above market value, but we had found our home and didn't want to waste time haggling over the price. It took all of one hour for the real estate agent to inform us that we were the new owners of our dream house. We'd moved in one month later and hadn't regretted it once.

The clanging of porcelain coming from the open kitchen window brought me back to the present. Alice and Jasper had come early to help us with the preparations and persuade Bella to rest for a while before the rest of our guests arrived. I didn't know how she'd done it, but my mom and dad, as well as Emmett, Rosalie and little Henry had flown in from Chicago that morning. Originally, my parents had planned to come once the baby was born, but somehow, Bella had talked them into coming early and staying for a week. Maybe they'd get lucky and leave as grandparents for a second time.

I made my way into the house just when the doorbell started to ring.

“Happy Birthday!” Charlie and Sue shouted as I opened the door. They both smiled brightly and hugged me one after the other.

My relationship with my father-in-law hadn't always been that hearty. After telling our families about our elopement, just like we expected, Charlie took it particularly hard. For a while, he let me see his deep disappointment, making me feel like I'd stolen his little girl away. Things got better once we announced that Bella was pregnant a few weeks later. My parents handled the news of our secret wedding way better. But given their own history, nothing else was anticipated.

Alice was the one who almost made us regret our decision to get married the way we did. _Almost._ When we told them after their return from their honeymoon, she immediately started giving us the cold shoulder, keeping up the act for about two weeks. Totally desperate, Bella sent her best friend an ultrasound picture to inform her about our other news, which finally made Alice call her, sobbing and assuring us how sorry she was. From there on, everyone around us had been nothing but supportive.

“I'm so glad you came. Come on in. Alice and Jasper are in the kitchen and Bella's resting.” I led Sue and Charlie through the hall and the living room, showing them to the colorfully decorated yard.

My father-in-law snorted when he took in the scenery. “It looks like Bells went a little overboard with this, huh? You could think we would be celebrating a kid's party rather than a grown man's birthday. This is totally out of character.”

“Oh, Charlie!” Sue petted his shoulder. “I know this isn't like the daughter you know, but it's all part of the nesting instinct. After all, the baby could come any day now.” 

Although Sue wasn't Bella's biological mother — in fact, she wasn't even a mother at all in the genetic sense — she was the best mom Bella could have wished for. She always had her back, calmed Charlie down whenever he was upset or irritated with his daughter, and normally argued Bella's case no matter what it was about.

I chuckled lightly at their exchange, really enjoying their company. “Well, maybe I should go wake the culprit. I could convince her to lay down for a bit, but she asked me to go get her when the guests start to arrive.”

With the approval of my in-laws, I walked inside the house and climbed up the stairs to the first floor where the bedrooms were situated. To get to our room, I had to pass the nursery. Just like every time I walked past the door with the painted wooden letters spelling out the baby's name, I had to stop and take a quick peek inside.

With Alice's help, Bella had turned the room next to ours into a fairy wonderland. The walls were painted light pink with little fairy princesses here and there. The furniture was white and really girly. Looking at all the things that were desperate to be used, I couldn't wait to bring our little princess home. Only a few more days now.

I closed the door again and went to quietly open the door to our bedroom, careful not to startle Bella. But it turned out that my caution hadn't been necessary after all. The bed was empty and made and there was no sign of Bella in the room.

While I was still wondering where she could have gone, I heard a low moan from the en-suite bathroom.

“Baby, is everything okay?” I asked worriedly after rushing to the door and knocking lightly.

There was rustling and a short pause before she answered, “Yeah, I'm okay.” Her voice sounded a little strained and she appeared to be breathing heavily. “You know how hard it is for me to get up from a sitting position.”

Of course, sitting on the toilet, she had a hard time getting up with the added weight and the shifted center of gravity. Visibly, Bella had only gained weight around her middle and that weight was carried in a bump in front of her, but we were still talking twenty pounds. And I loved every single one of it.

“Do you need help, baby?” I knew she didn't want me in the bathroom with her when she used the toilet, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

The door opened and my beautiful, heavily pregnant wife stood in front of me. “No, I'm fine. Why don't you go back downstairs? I heard my dad and Sue arriving. I'll be down in a minute.” Her words were much more relaxed than she'd sounded just a moment ago.

“Okay then,” I replied, kissing her lips softly. “I'll see you in a bit.”

  


****POMH****

  


My family joined us soon after Bella came downstairs, and we had a wonderful barbecue. My wife really had planned everything perfectly. Even the moody Seattle weather was on its best behavior for my birthday. 

It was nice to spend some time with my parents and brother since we had only seen each other once after the wedding last fall. Although Bella's pregnancy had gone quite smoothly and without any complications so far, I hadn't wanted to put her under too much stress. And a trip to Chicago was certainly unnecessary trouble.

I couldn't believe how much my little nephew had grown over the last few months. Sure, we had regular Skype sessions, but the picture on the screen didn't do the little guy any justice. If he had merely resembled Emmett after birth, he was his spitting image now. If I hadn't known better, I'd say my brother had himself cloned. Whenever the baby boy flashed his dimply smile, everyone around the table was done for.

Bella was as taken with Henry as the rest of us were, but her expressions had a sense of longing to them, and I watched her caress her own belly whenever she smiled at him. Every once in a while, I heard her take a labored breath and watched her tense up for a moment before she relaxed again. Each time I asked her what was going on, she smiled at me a little too enthusiastically and told me that the baby had kicked her liver, kidney or whatever other organ. Our little girl seemed to be moving around a lot today.

The hours went by, and all our guests called it a night quite early, but only after making sure everything was cleaned up and put away. Although Bella had invited them all to stay with us, everyone had insisted on going to a hotel to not put any stress on her. After moping around for a while, she had eventually accepted their decision and booked them rooms at a hotel close by. Even Sue and Charlie had decided to stay in Seattle for the night instead of taking the three-hour drive back to Forks that same evening.

Bella looked really tired when we were finally alone, but weirdly, she didn't make any attempts to go upstairs to get ready for bed. She lingered around, first on the patio, then in the kitchen, but when I asked her about it, she answered that she was just not tired.

Being accustomed to her acting a little strange over the last several months, I just accepted it and sat down on the couch, waiting for Bella to be ready to go upstairs. I was almost ready to go to bed alone when I heard her gasp before she muttered a heartfelt “Oh shit!”

Worried that something was wrong, I hurried to the kitchen to find her standing in a pool of water, looking slightly panicked. 

“Bella, baby, what is it?” I asked, rushing to her side.

Her gaze moved down to the floor, then back up to meet my eyes. “My water just broke.” She sounded composed while she looked a little afraid.

Before I could say a word, she doubled over, clutching her belly with one hand and the kitchen counter with the other for support. She breathed in quickly and slowly pressed the air past her almost closed lips, making an “Ohhh” sound.

“Are you having a contraction?” I inquired anxiously, although it was obvious that she was. 

Too busy to speak while breathing the pain away, Bella just nodded. 

“Is this the first one?” I wanted to know while I carefully rubbed her lower back in an attempt to ease her pain a little bit, just like we'd learned in the prenatal classes we'd taken.

Bella did the labor-breathing thing a few more times before the contraction seemed to be over. “No, it's not. I've had them since around three this afternoon.”

My jaw dropped in shock. “You've been in labor for the past seven hours and haven't said a word? Why?” All of a sudden, her strange behavior today made sense. She'd had a contraction when I came upstairs to wake her as well as every time she'd told me the baby had kicked her.

She bit her lip, big brown eyes looking into mine. “I didn't want to ruin your birthday,” she said sheepishly.

I wasn't sure if I should hug her for being so sweet or shake the stupidity out of her. In the end, I decided to pull her close to me. “I love you, baby, but you should've told me. Fuck the party! Our baby's coming.”

Before she could say anything else, I felt her tense up again and her breathing, once more, changed from breathing evenly to breathing through the pain. Just like the last time, I stroked her back, whispering soothingly into her ear. About a minute later, Bella stood straight again. “How far apart are the contractions?” I asked, feeling like they were coming too close together already.

“Before my water broke, they came about every five minutes. Now they seem to be much closer.” Although she'd kept her cool all day, she was obviously worried now.

“I'll go get your bag. You sit down on the couch and wait, okay?” I told her, leading her into the living room and helping her sit down. I was feeling strangely calm and in control although I was actually scared of what was to come.

It didn't take more than a minute to retrieve Bella's hospital bag from our bedroom and return downstairs.

“Come on. We need to go to the hospital.” I helped her off the couch and we made our way to the car, interrupted by yet another contraction. If I was correct, they were coming every two-and-a-half minutes by then — high time to get to the hospital.

  


****POMH****

  


Twenty minutes later and with the contractions a little over one minute apart, I helped Bella into the hospital and to the reception desk of the delivery ward. I'd already called Dr. Taylor, Bella's obstetrician, from the car and was relieved to hear she was already at the hospital since another one of her patients had just given birth. Knowing the doctor lived across town, I'd feared she wouldn't make it in time if she'd been at home.

“Hi, my wife is having a baby. Her name is Isabella Cullen. Dr. Taylor's already awaiting us,” I informed the nurse, who rushed to get a wheelchair when Bella writhed with another contraction. 

Her moans while breathing through the pain had become more high-pitched during our drive, indicating that the intensity had increased. I knew she'd planned to give birth as naturally as possible, but seeing her in pain like that and not being able to do anything to help her made me wish she'd change her mind and get an epidural or something.

The nurse wheeled Bella into a room and helped her change into a hospital gown. The contractions were only one minute apart at that point. Bella was lying in a bed now, almost crushing my hand she was holding while trying to get through the pain.

We both let out a relieved sigh when Dr. Taylor finally appeared. “I hear you thought big girls don't cry and kept the fact that you're in labor to yourself until it was undeniable. That's not the normal way to do it, but you're here and the baby's still inside. Well, no harm no foul. Let's see how far along you are.”

Without much ado, the doctor examined Bella, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise. “Bella, you're fully dilated. I think it's too late to get you into a delivery room.” She stood up and opened the door to call for a nurse, asking her to get some pieces of equipment to her.

My wife's eyes shot up to meet mine, fear and determination mixed in there. I was relieved to know that it wouldn't be much longer now, but at the same time scared shitless because now the critical part began. Right at that moment, I felt Bella trembling all over her body while she groaned worse than ever before. For the first time since I found out she was in labor, I felt panic gripping me.

“Dr. Taylor? Come quick! I think something's wrong!” I yelled when I turned to see that the doctor had left the room for a second.

Without wasting time, she rushed in again, and after just one glance, she asked, “Bella, do you feel the need to push?” I couldn't believe how calm that woman sounded in a situation as dire as that.

Bella just nodded vigorously, squeezing my hand even tighter.

“Then don't hold back. Take a deep breath and then push downward.” Just like the doctor instructed, Bella inhaled deeply, then pressed her eyes shut, and I could feel the effort she made to push our little girl out into the world, cheered on by Dr. Taylor. “Yes, that's it, that's it, that's it. And breathe again. Okay. Now we'll wait for the next contraction. Just relax for a moment. You're doing great.” 

Bella turned to lock eyes with me, and I could see the pain, but at the same time, there was some kind of relief I couldn't place. I didn't get the time to think about it any longer when the next contraction hit.

Again, Bella pushed, almost crushing every bone in my hand. But instead of complaining, I was glad I could at least share a bit of her pain. 

When she relaxed once more, Dr. Taylor smiled brightly. “I got a first peek of the head. You're doing really great. I think two more contractions and you'll have your little girl.”

Bella smiled a strained little smile, taking a few more breaths before she braced herself for the next series of pushes. She was groaning and moaning, bringing me close to tears as I watched her suffering like that. But just like the doctor said, two contractions later, our daughter was born.

“AND, there she is,” the doctor announced. 

Bella smiled blissfully as tears ran down her cheeks. I moved her hand up to my lips, kissing it adoringly. I couldn't believe how strong and brave she had been. Then dread crept up my spine. Something was amiss. It was too quiet in the room.

“Why isn't she crying? Isn't she supposed to cry?” I almost screamed at the doctor in panic.

“Calm down, everything's alright,” she whispered, placing the baby who was wrapped in a pink towel on Bella's chest. “She doesn't have to cry as long as she's breathing, and she's breathing just fine. Edward, Bella, meet your daughter.”

My gaze was locked on the little face that was visible between the edges of the cloth. Although I knew that she was almost blind right after being born, her eyes met mine, making me drown in the exact deep shade of brown of her mother's eyes. I was captivated, held prisoner by my daughter, a perfect mix of Bella and me with her bronze shock of hair and the beautiful chocolate eyes. 

I'd always found it incredibly cheesy whenever someone referred to a baby as the incarnate symbol of love, but that's exactly what she was — living, breathing proof of the love Bella and I shared.

Dr. Taylor interrupted my internal monologue. “So, what is the little beauty's name?” 

We'd decided on the baby's name very early on in the pregnancy. So, without a moment to think, Bella answered the doctor in a soft tone full of wonder, “Her name's Caitlin Elizabeth.”

“A beautiful name for a beautiful baby,” the doctor said with a smile in her voice. “I'm honored to announce that Caitlin Elizabeth Cullen was born July 20th at 11:58 pm. Congratulations! You did great, Bella.”

Bella's eyes locked with mine, flashing me a brilliantly proud smile. “It's still your birthday. So, happy birthday, Daddy!” As she said the last word with a trembling tone, a happy tear rolled down her cheek.

I felt my eyes stinging, too, and a lump forming in my throat. Overwhelmed with emotion, I bent down to kiss Bella's lips, trying to convey everything I felt with the action rather than putting it into words.

Pulling back after a few seconds, I looked at the exhausted but utterly happy face of my wife. “Thank you, baby, for the best birthday present ever.”

  


********POMH********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> 
> 
> **A/N:** Did you like it? I hope you did! I wrote this just for you. Hope to see you all again over at Two Blue Lines.

**Author's Note:**

> So, what do you think? I'm very curious to hear your ideas about what happened between Bella and Jacob.  
> I'm sorry that there was no Edward in this first chapter but I promise you, he'll make his first appearance real soon.  
> To keep you interested, here's a short teaser for Chapter 2:
> 
> … Never before had I felt this excited, just kissing a man. Usually kissing was only a gateway to sex, and I didn't particularly enjoy it. …
> 
> See you next week ;)


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